Chapter 33
Stryke had survived a lot of hazardous situations in his life. And while he was confident he’d survive this one, there was still a risk of bloodshed.
He stood in the kitchen that used to be empty and sad when he lived here. Now, the compound on the outskirts of Sydney, where he’d first developed StryTech, belonged to his brothers, and they’d filled the living quarters with life.
And food. They had a lot of food in this place. At least one of them bought pints of cookie dough ice cream by the case.
“They’re all inside,” Cyan said, peeking in from the living room. She looked amazing in strappy red sandals and a red-and-green sundress. Perfect for a Christmas Eve get-together. The first family event he’d been to in years.
“Even Blade?”
“Even Blade. And I put Masumi’s vase on the bookshelf. You ready?”
No. But his family had waited too long for this as it was. “Yeah.”
“Are you going to tell them about…?”
“Chaos?” He blew out a breath. He’d waffled on that decision for three days in every spare minute he had while dealing with the memorial services for Kalis and the other angels’ victims. He hoped those bastards were dead. Except Gabriel. He owed that angel everything. “I think it’s best if we tell everyone later. My parents and brothers should hear it first.” Maybe tomorrow, where he was having them to his cabin for the very first time. Blade was a wildcard, but he always was.
She smiled. “I agree.”
He gave her a kiss, and they both walked down the short hallway to the living room, which was packed with his entire extended family. His parents, brothers, uncles, aunts, cousins…yep, they were all staring at him expectantly.
Except Blade. He sat in a chair, legs spread, looking between them at the floor.
“Thanks for coming inside,” Stryke said. “I won’t keep you from the barbecue and kegs for long.”
“Don’t worry.” His dad waved his hand in dismissal. “The Horsemen will keep the grills going.”
Stryke glanced out the back doors at the Horsemen and their families making use of the manicured lawns, tennis court, and pool. Scotty cannon-balled into the deep end, and he was surprised she wasn’t in here with Mace and Blade, even though she wasn’t technically family. Generally, where they went, she went.
Inhaling deeply to quell his nerves, he addressed his family.
“I just wanted to say that I owe you all an apology. I’ve been a terrible brother,” he said, looking at each in turn. Blade met his gaze, but he was impossible to read. Then he looked at his parents. “I haven’t been a good son, either.” They both shook their heads, but he didn’t give them time to protest. “I’ve also been an awful friend.” This time, he looked directly at Eidolon. “I’ve been arrogant and selfish. I hurt the people I love and justified it in the name of protecting the world. I took risks with my life that were irresponsible and stupid.” He closed his eyes, drawing in a cleansing breath. He’d been afraid to bare his soul like this, to admit to so much wrongdoing, but there was something freeing about being honest with himself. “I removed myself from your lives and said I was protecting you from me. From the pain my presence would cause. But it was a lie. I know that now. I wasn’t protecting you. I was protecting myself.”
He looked over at Cyan, who gave him an encouraging smile. Gods, he was thankful she was in his life. He was happier than he’d ever been, and none of it would be possible without her. Now, he had to make sure she never got away from him.
He had a plan for that.
Blade took a swig of the beer in his hand. “You still think you’re smarter than everyone else.”
“I am,” he said, throwing in some snark because Blade had a way of getting under his skin. “But only in some ways.”
Most ways. But Cyan had told him he didn’t have to voice every single thought.
“Blade, you’re a tactical expert,” he pointed out. “I can’t do what you do.” Nor did he want to. “Rade, you know more about the mind than I ever could. In fact, I’m working on a couple of projects that could use your input.” He tucked his hands into his jeans pockets. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” Blade shoved to his feet. “You left us when we needed you the most! You cut us out of your life, Stryke. You severed our fucking blood ties.”
“Stop it, Blade!” Crux leaped up from the couch, spilling his bowl of potato chips on the floor. “It’s okay now. He’s apologizing. Everything’s okay.”
Shit. Stryke hated seeing his little brother so upset and desperate for everyone to heal. The kid just wanted his family to be whole and happy.
“Crux, no, it’s not okay,” he said gently. “Blade’s right. And you were right the other day when you accused me of not being there. I haven’t been. It’s going to take some time to rebuild trust. With all of you. That’s why I’m going to restore our mental connection.” He glanced at Rade and Blade. “If it’s all right with you.”
Blade cursed. “I’m done with this. You guys do what you want.” He headed for the party, slamming the door behind him.
“Dammit,” Shade muttered as he watched Blade storm toward the pool bar. “I’m sorry, Stryke.”
“Me too,” his mom said as she engulfed him in a hug.
“It’s fine.” Stryke welcomed his mom’s comforting embrace, something he hadn’t realized he’d missed until the night of her birthday party. “I knew this wouldn’t be easy.”
Rade moved over to him, and Stryke braced himself for anything from a blow to a chewing out, so he was surprised when he said simply, “I want the connection.”
“Me too.” Crux hurled himself at Stryke and their mom so he could hug them both. “Does this mean we’ll see you more now?”
“Yeah. A lot more.” Blade would be thrilled .
He pulled away from the group hug and picked up Masumi’s vase. Its weight was heavy and comforting. He was going to miss her. She’d saved his life more than once, and he was one of the few people he trusted.
“You’re sure you want to do this?” Cyan asked, and he nodded.
They’d discussed it last night, and he’d been surprised when Cyan had summoned Masumi to be part of the conversation.
“Masumi, how would you feel about having your bond transferred to one of Stryke’s brothers or cousins?”
Masumi, who had emerged from her container dressed like a sexy Santa’s elf, seemed confused. “Why would you ask about my feelings in the matter?”
“Because you aren’t an object to be passed around,” Cyan said. “You are a person, and you should have a say in your future.”
“That is very kind.” Masumi shifted, making the little bells on her outfit jingle. “But I would think you would want me gone.”
“Oh, I do.” Cyan sat next to Stryke on the couch and placed a possessive hand on his thigh. “I’m grateful for all you’ve done for Stryke over the years, but he’s mine now, and it turns out that I’m more territorial than I thought. But like I said, you’re a person, not an object, and you deserve a voice.”
Masumi smiled over at Stryke. “I like her so much. Don’t fuck this up.”
“I won’t,” he swore. No way. He would always cherish this incredible female.
“Good. Then I approve of my bond going to one of your brothers or cousins. Now, if there’s nothing else, I must return to Mace’s party.”
“Wait.” Stryke stopped her before she could dematerialize. “Any preference?”
“I love them all. Let them decide.”
So, in accordance with Masumi’s wishes, Stryke held her vase out to Rade. “This is for you and the guys. You’ll need to decide who I can transfer her bond to.”
Rade gave a slow nod and carefully took the vase. They didn’t need two in the compound, but an extra gave Masumi security. If one was destroyed or stolen, she still had another, and given that her species would die within an hour of losing their home, an extra was basically an insurance policy.
He would be curious to know who they chose. Crux was too young. Mace was too…Mace. Blade would take excellent care of her, but so would Sabre. Rade took responsibility seriously, but he was intensely private and didn’t like being poked or prodded, something on which Masumi thrived.
Stryke would put his money on Sabre. The guy was a rock, like his dad.
Rade headed upstairs to put the vase away, and everyone took that as a sign to head back out to the party. His cousins, Talon, Sabre, and Mace fist-bumped him on the way out, and his aunts, Tayla, Idess, and Serena gave him hugs. His uncle Wraith clapped him on the shoulder and told him he was proud of him, and for some reason, that made Stryke smile.
His uncle Lore invited him to see UG’s new Medical Examiner office. As a kid, Stryke had loved assisting Lore during autopsies, so it would be cool to check out the new setup and equipment.
The room was nearly empty now, save Cyan, Eidolon, and Stryke’s parents. Eidolon came up and offered his hand. “That took a lot of class.”
Stryke accepted the handshake. “I’m sorry, Eidolon. I took advantage of our relationship, and it was shitty of me. I don’t expect you to forgive me—”
“You’re forgiven,” he said. “But if you really want to make it up, we could use a sizable donation for the new facility in Johannesburg.”
“Exploiting my guilt?” Stryke said approvingly. “I like it. I’ll make it happen. But only if you name it after me.”
Eidolon laughed. “You got it.” He eyed Stryke critically, his demeanor sobering. “How are you doing?”
Stryke knew what he was asking, and he was grateful for his uncle’s concern. “I’m good,” he said, glancing over at Cyan. “I’m finally…good.”
“I’m glad.” Eidolon gave him a fond pat on the back and went outside to join his mate.
“That couldn’t have been easy,” his mom said, looking after Eidolon. “None of this could have been easy.”
“No,” he admitted, “but it was necessary.”
His dad nodded. “This was a big step in the right direction.”
“Tomorrow will be an even bigger one.” And he was as anxious about it as he’d been about today. “It’ll be our first Christmas together in more than ten years.”
“I just hope Blade will be there,” Runa said. “You’ll be there too, right, Cyan?”
Cyan nodded, and he could see how hard she was trying not to look absolutely radiant and excited. His parents still thought her pregnancy was a huge tragedy, and neither he nor Cyan could wait to share the recent developments.
They spent a few more minutes talking to his parents, and then, finally, he was left alone in the living room with Cyan.
Taking his hand, she faced him. “How are you feeling?”
He reached up and scratched his neck. “Light.”
“Light?”
“Yeah. Like there’s nothing weighing me down.” He paused, trying to pinpoint what, exactly, was different. When it came to him, he sucked in a surprised breath. “My mind,” he whispered. “It’s quiet.”
“What do you mean, it’s quiet? Like, it’s not running at a million calculations per second anymore?”
He shook his head. “No, it still is, but it doesn’t feel frantic. It’s like how I felt before Chaos died.” He scratched his neck again. Felt like something was crawling across his personal symbol.
“Oh, my gods.” Cyan grabbed his hand and pulled it away from his throat. “Holy shit. Your symbol.” She tugged him toward the mirror on the far wall. “Look.”
Tilting his head, he checked out the lame square he’d gotten after his transition.
Except…
It had changed.
Cyan threw a screen up into the air from her wrist comms. A symbol hung there, a knotted square nearly identical to the one he now sported on his neck.
“It’s called a Mpatapo,” she said, reading from a text box beneath the glyph. “A symbol of peace after conflict.”
Astonishment left his voice shaky as he read the rest of the description. “It also represents reconciliation and forgiveness.”
He turned back to the mirror, marveling at the fluid lines. As a general rule, he didn’t do well with change. He’d gotten used to his stupid square, telling himself it meant stability, even though it wasn’t really true.
But now, he understood.
The square had merely been a frame. It had been empty because he had been empty. It hadn’t been complete, because he hadn’t been complete.
He glanced out at his family in the backyard and then looked at Cyan, his heart filling with warmth. No, he was definitely no longer empty.