Chapter 20
VANNA
“ Y ou’re hitting like a girl,” Viking teases from the bench press.
He’s been watching me punch the bag while lifting weights.
“For someone who looks so frustrated, you’re really not taking advantage of all that bag has to offer.
I’ve taught you better than this, Vanna. You wanna talk about something?”
Expelling a harsh breath, I glance over at him and drop my gloved fists to my sides. “It’s that obvious?”
“When shit’s bothering them, bro’s swing and bitches sing . This entire training session has been a complete waste of our time if you don’t tell me what’s up.”
I frown despite another one of Viking’s silly sayings. “Sorry.”
“Just spill the beans and I’ll forgive you,” he says, doing one more press before putting the bar back on the rack and sitting up. “Or you can drop and give me fifty,” he jokes, pointing at the gym floor.
“ Friendsgiving is in two days,” I warn him with a smile.
“Well played,” Viking grins, shifting to make room beside him on the bench. “Have a seat and tell me what’s going on. Your head’s been up in the clouds and not in a good way. What’s got you so distracted?”
“My sister came to visit the other day,” I say, plopping down next to him. “Dean didn’t mention that to you?”
“He did. Gimme’ those mitts,” Viking insists, reaching for my hands. I shift toward him and let him undo my boxing gloves. He removes them and gets up to put them away in the supply locker before returning to sit beside me.
“Did he tell you she’s engaged to Jack’s brother?”
“ Oh yeah .” He nods. Judging by the way his eyebrows nearly reach his hairline, he was just as surprised by the news as we were, and I have no doubt Dean wasn’t too thrilled when he conveyed the story.
There’s nothing we can do, though. At least they’re all content to stay in New York.
If we have to suck it up for the occasional holiday visit, so be it.
It’s her life. I expect my parents are delighted with the entire Giuliana and Richard situation… And their baby girl…
“Did Dean tell you anything else?”
Viking glances at me curiously. “There’s more?”
I fight the sudden urge to bring my hand to my tightening throat. Dean didn’t mention Giuliana is pregnant?
“Alright, now you’re being too quiet.” Viking sighs. “What’s up?”
“I don’t know who I can really talk to about this.” Or if I should at all.
“What’s going on with Dean?”
“How do you know it’s about Dean?”
“ We wouldn’t be talking right now if it wasn’t.”
I chew my bottom lip, attempting to stall. “Dean’s been stressed out.”
Viking looks at me wryly. “ That’s his default state of being , Vanna.
” I try not to laugh at the accuracy of his statement, but he goes on.
“Did you expect to marry a guy who’s never not had the rug pulled out from under him and he’d be hunky fuckin’ dory all the time?
The happier he is, the more he worries about losing it. ”
“Well, I’m not sure what dory means, but Dean is pretty hunky if you ask me.” I force a smile.
Viking shakes his head. “Never crack a joke like that in my presence again.”
“Corny?”
“Yup.”
“Worse than biker business ?”
“Way worse. Quit stalling. What’s going on?” he presses.
Over the last few years, Viking and I have developed a close friendship I would have thought impossible if not for Ace. He can still be an asshole, but we’ve grown to genuinely care about each other, and his blunt ways no longer offend me the way they once did.
“I think I’m jealous of my sister. I always have been, a little. She’s the perfect one. The pretty one…” And now she’s pregnant with a little girl...
Viking arches a skeptical brow at me, as if he suspects I’m still avoiding the main issue, but he lets out a sigh and says, “I think part of the reason I was hard on you in the beginning was the fact you were off limits.”
“Huh?”
“This is probably breaking guy code, and Dean would fucking kill me for saying this, but…when I first saw you, I thought you were smoking hot.”
“Okay, this is getting weird.”
“Yeah… like, incestuous weird.”
“Ew, don’t make it worse!”
“I just mean I see you like a sister now!”
“Yeah, I got that.”
“I’m just gonna shut up and let you finish what you were saying.”
I let out a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what I’m saying.”
“Well, you asked if Giuliana’s engagement was all Dean told me about… What else did you think he’d tell me?”
I swallow, trying to prevent the painful lump in my throat from forming, but it’s no use. Dean didn’t bring it up.
“Ah, shit,” Viking mutters, his vaguely curious expression rapidly becomes blurry in my stinging eyes as tears well up against my will.
But I can still tell his expression has morphed into one of concern.
“Vanna, you better tell me what the fuck is going on. Is it Legion? Did that prick contact you after the fundraiser?”
“No,” I croak out, though a part of me is surprised Legion has been so silent, and I can’t help but wonder what he’s been up to.
“Did Dean fuck up? What did he do now?”
“He didn’t do anything.” I sniffle, wiping my eyes impatiently with the back of my hand.
“You may have somewhat of a talent for secrecy, but you’re a lousy liar, Vanna.”
“ Ha, ha... Jerk.” I frown at him. “I switched to an oral contraceptive. One of the side effects is mood swings.”
His stoic expression might as well be carved in stone while he waits for a real answer. I’ve come to observe that these MC guys have mastered this particular visage.
“Promise me you won’t say anything to him.” I sigh, though it’s more of a groan.
“Can’t do that. You’re his wife,” Viking stubbornly insists. “Not only is Dean my best friend, he’s my president. Can’t make that promise.”
“I thought we were family, too? Something beyond all the biker business .”
“Maybe I need to remind you who you married. Remember when I told you about his psycho switch? You flicked that shit. Hard . It’s stuck on.
Did you lose sight of his crazy? Living in wedded bliss over there or some shit…
Your husband is fuckin’ nuts when it comes to his woman, Vanna.
Those waters might seem tranquil with you, but there’s a deadly current beneath the surface.
There can’t be any secrets between us. That’s not how this works. Even if your husband wasn’t nuts.”
“Then we’ve got nothing to talk about,” I say, getting up to grab my gym bag containing the clothes I changed out of when I got here. It’s actually Ace’s old diaper bag. Viking’s huge hand engulfs my own, stopping me.
“As long as neither of you is in any trouble, I won’t say nothin’,” he caves and promises, though I know it’s with a heap of reluctance.
I nod, meeting his concerned blue eyes once again, and the tears rush back to mine full force. “ He doesn’t want any more children,” I manage to squeak out.
“Uhhh… Well … Shit… I, uh…” Viking studders, clearly caught off guard.
Releasing my hand, he stands to his towering height, bringing his hand to the back of his head to uncomfortably mess with his braid, while jamming his other hand in his front pocket.
“This is definitely a conversation you two need to have together. Alone. Just you. The both of you. Together. At your house. You two. Yeah.”
“But he just shuts me down… I’ve tried .”
Viking practically winces, and I don’t know if it’s because he feels bad for me, for Dean, or for getting himself roped into this conversation in the first place.
“I think this topic might fall under the hands-off Ol’ Ladies policy…
I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure. I gotta check the bylaws…
Like, now . I should go do that right now.
You stay here. Or don’t. I don’t know . Get changed, maybe? I’m gonna be in trouble.”
“ Why would you be in trouble? You didn’t do anything.”
“And that’s exactly what you have to say if anything happens.”
“ What’s going to happen?”
“A whole lot of fuckin’ nuthin’ that’s what.” Viking shakes his head at me again, waving his big hand back and forth as if he can sweep the last few minutes away. “We never had this conversation.”
“ What conversation?” I demand, jamming my fists against my hips.
He points at me. “ Exactly!”
“Viking… nothing you’ve said in the last two minutes qualifies as a conversation .”
“You catch on quick, Vanna. I like that about you. Have a great rest of your day! I’m out of here.”
“Well, thanks… Thanks a lot .” I turn from his giant fleeing form to grab my gym bag again.
“ God…damn it …” he mutters, halting just short of the double doors behind me. “This is a very touchy subject with him, Vanna.”
“You think I don’t know that? I’m his wife.”
He nods, silently conceding my point, then asks, “When’s the last time you brought it up to him? And when was the first?”
“I started to breach the subject with him a little after Ace’s birthday.
He shut me down hard at the Joker’s fundraiser.
I barely got the words out. I figured enough time had passed…
since… Everything… And he has avoided talking about my sister since she left our home.
None of us is getting any younger, and Ace is already three.
I don’t want a huge age gap between him and a sibling, and I want him to have a sibling. ”
“You know that Only Child Syndrome bullshit is just a stereotype, right?” Viking says. “Look at Axel, he’s an only child and he’s the most selfless guy you could ever meet.”
“ Oh, please . Axel was basically raised with you all as brothers. You might as well have all marched out of the same womb together.”