Chapter 20 #2
Viking blinks. “That’s a hilariously disturbing image, Vanna.
Thanks for that. But, is that what this is about?
” He lets out a long breath. “You’re raising Ace right.
You both are two of the best people I know.
Why would Ace turn out any different with you guys for parents?
With the rest of us as extended family? And as far as loneliness goes, when is that kid ever alone?
We’ve all got each other. That kid is fuckin’ loved, Vanna. ”
“I know he is. I’m not saying he’s not… I just…I want another baby, Viking. Why is that so wrong ?”
His expression contorts again before he goes on. “It’s not wrong … But this really is something only you and Dean can work out together… I’m sorry, Vanna.”
“It’s fine.” What could Viking really do about our situation anyway? “Maybe I just needed to vent. Forget about it.”
“Maybe he just needs a little more time. If you only started bringing this up a month ago… Give him a few more weeks to wrap his head around the idea.”
“He’s afraid I’ll die.”
Viking nods contemplatively. “I was with him through the whole ordeal… It was bad, Vanna. Can you blame him?”
“No. But the chances of that happening again, especially if I were to plan for a scheduled c-section,” I search his expression for any trace of doubt or disagreement. “And I already have a scar.”
“I’m sure what happened last time is of major concern to him. Top of the fuckin’ list, Vanna. You have no idea how lost and broken he was that night.” Viking closes his eyes, shaking his head again as if the memories are too hard to think about. “Did he tell you he begged me to kill him?”
“…What?”
He opens his eyes to look at me. “Dean begged me to kill him if you didn’t pull through. He’s got zero will to go on without you.”
His words break my heart, though I’m not surprised by them.
“But there’s another reason he’s reluctant to have this conversation with you...” Viking lets out another heavy sigh. “And I think you know what it is.”
Or who it is. My whole body tenses at the thought of her. “ Lucinda.” Even her name tastes bitter on my tongue.
Viking nods. “What if he can’t give you the kid, Vanna? To Dean, this is a nightmare scenario playing out all over again. Paired with what he’s equating to financial issues, this all might be feeling just a little bit too familiar to him in all the wrong ways.”
“I get it, but I’m only asking him to try . I wouldn’t fault him if it isn’t meant to be. And there’s always IVF.”
“Without insurance, you’re looking at a baseline fifty-grand expense, easy.”
“We have insurance.” Mostly because we have Ace now.
“He didn’t when he was with Lucinda,” Viking says, and I wonder if that’s where some of her resentment stemmed from.
The money he bought his brother out with to hold onto the farm, the house, the roadhouse, and the repair shop.
Maybe she saw it as money they could have used to have a baby.
“Just give him time to come around to it. You know all he wants to do is make you happy. If you think this isn’t eating him up inside, think again.
He already feels like he’s failing you.”
“Failing me how?”
“Do you know he sold his Heritage? Fuckin’ Betty was his second favorite motorcycle.”
And he looked damn good on that classic style Harley Davidson, too. “Yes, but I didn’t know until he was already halfway through the deal. I asked what he was doing, and he told me to take Ace inside. I never would have suggested he sell Betty, or any of his side chicks for that matter.”
“I’m not saying you did. I know it was all his idea. When we talked, he sounded like he had everything under control. But I’m going to ask you because I know how stubborn he is. Are you guys doing okay? Does Ace need anything?”
“We’re fine. I know he said profits are down, but I don’t think things are as dire as Dean seems to.”
Viking nods. “There are certain things Dean goes overboard about. Just be patient with him. It’s only because he cares,” he says as if telling me something I didn’t figure out three years ago.
“I know.” And I know this all stems from past trauma in his life—his parents, the shit Lucinda put him through with finances and starting a family, what she pulled with Maddie.
I close my eyes on the memory of the broken crib in that empty nursery room, and shove down the anger threatening to bubble up to the surface.
“ I will never forgive her… Not for anything.”
“None of us will,” Viking grumbles. “You wanna try some bare-knuckle punches for a little while? Might help to imagine a certain blonde bitch’s face on the bag.”
I consider it for a moment, then ask, “When are you going to teach me the ground stuff?”
“Ground stuff?”
I gesture to the ring where they spar with all their mixed martial arts moves. “Yeah, teach me how to pin people and get out of being pinned and all that.”
He scoffs. “ Never .”
“What do you mean never ?”
“It’s bad enough he doesn’t know about these lessons, and I’m just teaching you basic kick-boxing moves. Ain’t no way in hell I’m rolling around on a mat with you. What did I just remind you about cranking up his level of psycho?”
“First of all, it’s only a secret because I want to surprise him one of these days when I look like I might know what I’m doing, so don’t make it sound so nefarious.
It’s not that kind of secret . And I told him that I come here to work out, so I’m not lying.
He’d rather have me come here than go to a fitness center. ”
Viking reaches into his back pocket to retrieve his wallet and pulls out a business card.
“Here,” he says, practically shoving it into my hand.
“It’s an all-girls gym. I know the owners.
He wouldn’t have an issue with this place.
And they teach some basic self-defense classes for women.
You can roll around on the ground with other chicks. Dean won’t have a canary over that.”
“So, you’re pawning me off on somebody else.” I sigh, shoving the card in my bag without bothering to look at it.
“Don’t you have to go home and bake something?” he grunts back at me. I guess Viking has reached his limit with my bullshit.
“I do actually.” It wouldn’t hurt to get started on all those cornucopia orders. There are a few ingredients I still need to pick up at the store.
“What time is dinner on Thursday? Can I wear my Thanksgiving pants?” he jokes, referencing the time he wore grey sweatpants to dinner.
“Absolutely not. Nobody wants to see your damn Yule log, Viking.”
He laughs. “Fine. Should I bring anything?”
“I think I’ve got everything covered. Rosita is bringing over a few dishes, also, and Cherry is coming over early with Axel to give me a hand. Dean and Viper have guard duty the first part of the day, so she and Axel can help me wrangle Ace and keep him out of the kitchen while I’m cooking.”
“Speaking of Ace, is he with Cherry? If you want, I can take him to get something to eat, tire him out at the park, and bring him home after?” Viking offers with an eagerness he doesn’t bother trying to hide.
It makes me smile. “Or I can swing by the shop with him first, so Dean can have some time with him before his shift at the safehouse with Axel? He’s heading there directly from the shop tonight. ”
“ You just want to hang out with your best buddy ,” I tease. Viking shrugs, but he doesn’t fight the little grin tugging at his mouth. “Sure, that would be very helpful. And Ace loves spending time with you, too. Thank you.”
W ithin a few hours of arriving home, almost every surface of my kitchen is a scattered mess of flour, tinfoil, sesame seeds, and orange cellophane.
The oven is only big enough to bake four cornucopias at a time, and I’ve got eleven more yet to form and bake of the twenty-three orders I received this year.
The oven has been going for a few hours straight, and I’m hot.
I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to open a window and invite some cool November air inside.
I remove the finished batch of Cornucopias from the oven and place them on the kitchen island to cool, before sliding the next two trays in to bake.
Wiping off my hands on my flour-dusted apron, I make my way over to the windows near the dining table.
As I unlatch the lock and lift it open, the sound of a motorcycle in the driveway catches my attention.
It can’t be Dean. He has to clock in with Medusa’s Gates right after his shift at the repair shop this evening, and I’m not expecting Viking and Ace until around supper time in about an hour or so.
Though there’s always a chance Viking brought Ace back early, hoping to sample something pre-Friendsgiving .
A pang of anxiety hits me when I realize it’s Legion, and this is probably not a sanctioned visit.
Dean would have warned me on the very off chance Legion obtained his permission.
“Great,” I mutter under my breath.
By the time I step out onto the front porch, Legion has dismounted his bike and is walking toward me, one hand tucked behind his back.
“I was wondering where you’ve been.”
“Have you, now?” He seems pleased by the revelation. It’s an honest statement, but I can’t encourage him.
“You’re not supposed to be here, I’m sure.”
“ Story of my life ,” Legion humorously boasts, his grin never faltering as if it were stitched on.
He takes a moment to look me over, then gestures with a wave of his gloved hand at my attire.
“I see I may have interrupted some kitchen witchery .” He lifts his chin, inhaling the air deeply, then exhales on a sigh.
“Nothing quite like the aroma of freshly baked bread. You are indeed the epitome of a domestic goddess, sweet one… And damn, does it look good on you.”
“Flattery gets you nowhere with me.”
A deep chuckle rumbles in his throat. “ Another trait of yours I adore.”
“What do you want, Legion?”