Chapter 5
“We’ve tagged each new designer as minority-owned and operated in our system. This will allow us to diversify both the people with whom we work and the artistic range of our designs.” Asia referenced the slide at the front of the auditorium as I looked out over the mass of employees.
Not long after my promotion to director, Asia approached me with an idea to increase the diversity within KMG. She would tackle outside partners while I looked to revamp our recruitment process—minor changes that would hopefully lead to a large impact.
Asia moved to the next slide for me in a dance we had choreographed through hours of obsessive practicing. “The last part of this initiative is a change to our HR screening interviews. We believe having people of different backgrounds at KMG will bring us unique perspectives that will push us all to be our best. Any questions?”
Hands shot up around the room, and I pointed to the person closest to me. I recognized his face from the engineering team but couldn’t place his name. Keith, Carter, Clint…?
“Now, I’m obviously not racist…” Keith/Carter/Clint began.
I suppressed a groan and tried not to roll my eyes over to the now-twenty-dollars-richer Asia. She’d bet we would hear some variation of that phrase within the first three questions. I knew I’d still find a smile on her face if I looked. She wouldn’t—couldn’t—let him see her anger.
“… but why are you forcing us to hire people based on their skin color? That’s what seems racist to me.”
Christina pushed herself up, but I jumped in before she could speak. This hiring initiative was my baby, and I wanted to be the one to defend it. My stomach fluttered as I looked out over the crowd, a combination of anxiety at the potential fight and the nervous excitement I always felt when presenting.
“We are not forcing anyone to hire anyone else. We’re trying to widen our pool. Show of hands: How many of you have either hired or were hired by a person in your network?”
I paused as most hands around the room went up, including my own.
“Our networks tend to be people with similar backgrounds and experiences to ours. It’s not a criticism. It’s a fact. We are pushing KMG out of our bubble so we can grow into something even more impressive than we are today.”
Keith/Carter/Clint nodded along, though he didn’t seem convinced. The last questions focused on logistics rather than criticism, and Asia and I shared a secretive smile as we returned to our seats. We’d prepared for a lot more pushback than we received.
Eduardo concluded the meeting, and we all started filing out of the space like a herd of cows, bottlenecked to get out of the one door. I felt more than saw a presence by my side, and stiffened as I heard a voice say, “You handled that surprisingly well.”
Ben appeared in the corner of my eye. I looked around for an escape and realized we were surrounded by the shuffling herd. My fingers twitched as I fought the urge to plow through them like a linebacker. I was a large woman. With the proper motivation, I could do it. And getting away from Ben was definitely proper motivation.
“Was this your plan? Corner me at the all-staff meeting when there is no way for me to escape your insults? Real impressive from the man who thinks we should act more civilized.”
“Who said it was an insult? It’s a tough topic. And I’m willing to listen to anyone talk if they put that dick Connor in his place, even you.”
He kept his expression neutral, except for that persistent upturn of his lips, as he nodded to the colleagues we passed, but when he moved his eyes back to me, the challenge was clear:
Spar with me. Show me what you’ve got.
“I’m sorry you had to endure twenty minutes of hearing me talk for the one-minute put-down at the end. You could leave if it’s that difficult for you to deal with me. I’ll even throw in a free résumé review.” I smiled sweetly. My heart raced from the thrill of battle. Nothing more.
His lips tilted into the infuriating smirk that sent a shiver down my spine. “You’re extremely difficult to work with.”
“Well, you’re not much better.”
“Then why do you still do it?”
“Are you offering to quit? If I’d known that was an option, I would have given you that résumé review years ago.”
We made it into the hallway to face off. I could almost hear the whistled tune of an old Western film as the stream of people split around us. They shot us concerned glances as they scurried off like townsfolk desperate to get inside before the gunslinging began.
“I was here first. You can find somewhere else if it’s a problem.” His eyes gleamed as he stepped closer. “But I don’t think it is. I think you look forward to it.”
I rolled my eyes. “What in the world makes you think I take any enjoyment from our forced interactions?”
“Tell me something.” He moved even closer, leaving a few inches and forcing me to crane my neck to maintain eye contact. “Why haven’t you handed my jobs off to someone else on your team? You’ve assigned other people to almost every hiring manager. I get holding on to Asia. She’s your best friend. But what’s making you hold on to me, Juliana?”
For once, the teasing glint was missing from his eyes, and I gulped. There was a buzzing under my skin, a flood of adrenaline. I needed to move, needed to run and burn off this energy, but my brain wasn’t signaling the rest of my body. I was frozen, a statue given sentience but cursed to stay in place for all eternity.
His gaze locked on me like he didn’t want to miss a single micro expression. My mind went blank, searching for a quip to put him in his place and coming up empty. His expression changed at my speechlessness, victory making his eyes sparkle. Damn it. This interaction would have to go in his win tally, but I swore it wouldn’t happen again.
I straightened my spine, hoping my confident stance would distract from the burning in my cheeks. I nearly ran down the hallway to distance myself as I spoke over my shoulder.
“I wouldn’t subject my team to you. And I won’t have to deal with you either until the next staff meeting. I sent over the candidates for your position, so we’re done.”
“Juliana.” The touch of desperation in his voice stopped me in my tracks. I glanced at him over my shoulder. “I meant what I said. Your presentation was excellent, and you and Asia should be proud of the initiative. I think it will do great things for KMG.”
My mouth dropped open as I reviewed the words a few times for the gibe I expected.
“Thank you?” I meant it as a statement, but it came out as a question.
One side of his mouth twitched before he nodded and headed off in the other direction.
I was so lost in my confusion I didn’t hear Eduardo approach me.
“Juliana, I need a moment with you in my office. Christina is joining us.”
A rock dropped in my stomach. An unscheduled meeting with my boss and boss’s boss? I prayed my nod didn’t look as jerky as it felt. I joined them as we made our way to his office on the top floor, and I racked my brain for what I’d done wrong. I couldn’t shake the feeling I was being called into the principal’s office for breaking a rule I didn’t know existed.
Eduardo’s office was large and welcoming, just like the man himself. His beautiful mahogany desk sat in front of two wingback chairs. He reserved space on the side of his office for a few more casual couches, and I held in a sigh of relief when he led us their way. The entire ride up I had pictured sitting across his desk as I was scolded, fired, and escorted out of the building by security.
“First, you aren’t in trouble, so please, relax,” Eduardo said, chuckling at my rigid posture, which had worsened while my mind ran through increasingly absurd scenarios. I laughed and fought to lower myself gracefully onto the couch, even though my knees felt like they would give out. “Christina, why don’t you start by filling Juliana in on our conversation from a few weeks ago.”
“I approached Eduardo about a decision I’ve made. I’m getting up there in years, even if I don’t want to admit it, and Justine wants us to travel before we get too old to explore. I told Eduardo we needed to look for my replacement so I could retire.”
My eyes went wide. She lived and breathed the work. I knew she wouldn’t stay around forever, but it hadn’t crossed my mind it would happen soon. A selfish thought flashed through my mind as I wondered if my new boss would be anywhere near as supportive and flexible. This was going to change my life, and my hands shook as I fiddled with my skirt to buy myself a few seconds. I forced a smile onto my face and congratulated her.
“How’s the search going?” They had kept it off our department’s radar for obvious reasons.
Eduardo jumped in. “Well, that’s just it. We’ve been struggling to see eye to eye. Christina has been campaigning for you to take over the role.”
I gaped at Eduardo, probably looking like a cartoon character, with bugged eyes and jaw on the ground. The past two years had shown what I was capable of, but I was also young and had only been with the company for two years. It would be a huge promotion. A huge paycheck, too , a voice whispered in my head.
My mind spun with all the things I could do with a higher salary. Clara could go to that soccer camp in New England her friends were all attending. Sophie could join that theater troupe, the one that pulls kids in with flashy performances around town, then requires the parents to front the money for all the sets and costumes. I could start saving for a place where we weren’t living on top of each other. Who knows? Maybe I’d even buy something for myself. Some new books or a trip to the spa.
Eduardo continued. “I didn’t think it would be prudent to promote someone with such little experience. It made more sense to consider external candidates. She argued you had risen to every challenge imaginable and had a vision for our company’s future. After your presentation today and the way you fielded the questions from other employees, I have to agree with her.”
Warmth spread through my chest. Chief recruitment officer. I didn’t think it was a position I would ever rise to, especially after staying home. But Christina believed in me.
“Now, the job isn’t yours yet, but I am strongly considering it. Before we spend more time reviewing your candidacy, I wanted to see if you were even interested.”
Of course, I was interested! This was more than I could ever dream. But I didn’t have the freedom to jump into something without thinking about how it would impact all other parts of my life and, more importantly, Clara’s and Sophie’s lives. Swallowing my excited yes, I tried to force my brain to move slower and more logically.
“Wow, I’m so honored to be considered.” I sucked in a breath, pausing to consider if I was screwing myself by bringing it up. But my other responsibilities weren’t going to disappear because I ignored them today, so I pushed through. “My only concern is how this change in role will impact my hours. As you know, I have two little girls at home.”
Christina took over then. “I know how much you’re balancing with the girls, and I already brought that up with Eduardo. He’s a family man, too, and would maintain the same flexible schedule we’ve developed. You are worth making it work.”
My smile could have split my face as I looked between them. I reached over and squeezed Christina’s hand, whose eyes shone. “Then, yes. Please consider me for the position. What do you need from me?”
“We will need an updated résumé. I know there won’t be anything new on it besides KMG, but we need it for our records,” Christina explained.
“There is one more project I want to see from you before I make my decision. The dean of the College of Architecture at Billings College in Boston contacted me. He asked us to develop an exclusive internship program. Christina mentioned you worked for the internship department in college.”
I nodded along. Four years as the student employee to the director of internships in school had shown me the best and worst experiences someone could have. If this was my final audition, Eduardo couldn’t have picked an easier one.
“That sounds wonderful. May I ask why we’re partnering with a school in Boston instead of a school here in Orlando?”
“Two reasons. First, I’m a Billings alum myself. I’ve been an active donor for years, and they’ve asked me to provide my support in a new way. Second, they were the ones who asked.” He shrugged. “You’ll design it with the vice president of architecture.”
“Fantastic! Roland and I will come up with something you and the dean will love.”
“Oh, you won’t be working with Roland.” The mischievous glint in Christina’s eye made my stomach flip as I realized where this was going. “He’s retiring, too. We plan to announce the staffing change in two weeks.”
“I assume this was an internal hire, since I was not involved.” I ground my teeth together and faced away from Eduardo so he couldn’t see the daggers I was throwing at Christina.
She barely contained her laughter. “You’d be correct. Ben was the obvious choice. It makes more sense for you to start the work with him, even though he isn’t the VP yet.”
Like his name had summoned him, there was a knock at the door, and the devil himself poked his head inside. I went stiff as a board.
“You ready for me, Eduardo?” His eyes flashed to me and then back. A light blush took over his cheeks. Was he embarrassed about our argument? More likely, he was worried about making a negative impression on Eduardo.
“Yes, sir. Come on in. Thank you, Christina.” The traitor, once known as my mentor, smiled at me as she headed out of the room. Ben took her place on the couch next to me, and I shifted away to avoid our legs touching.
Eduardo fixed us with a serious look as the door closed behind Christina. “I’ve noticed some tension between the two of you. I know there was some miscommunication in Juliana’s early days, but I hope you will put it behind you. Ben, this is not to leave the room, but Juliana is being considered as our new chief recruitment officer. If she receives it, you both will sit on my executive board, where no animosity will be tolerated.”
We said “Yes, sir” in tandem, mimicking each other’s chastised tone. I risked a glance at Ben out of the corner of my eye and saw him doing the same. I dropped my eyes back to my lap before anything more could come of the exchange.
“Great. So let’s discuss this internship.”
We spent the next half hour throwing around ideas and expectations, debating how many interns we could hire, what projects they could work on, and what quality of work we would expect. Eduardo released us, sending us off to take the next steps.
“So I guess this means you have to accept my truce now.” Clearly, Ben got over his scolding from Eduardo faster than me. I grabbed his arm, pushing him against the wall and sticking my finger in his face.
“This is a huge opportunity for me.” I kept my voice quiet as white-hot rage flooded my body. I could feel the blood pounding in my ears and fought the urge to scream. “Whatever problem you have with me, get the fuck over it. I’m not missing out on the best job of my life because you get off on pissing me off.”
I finished with one last jab in his chest. The universe zeroed down to his face. His eyes flared, and he grabbed my attacking hand before swinging me around, trading our positions. He stepped closer, trapping our clasped hands between our bodies.
“You’re the one who’s kept this fight going for two years. And you’d think someone in HR would know to keep their hands to themselves.”
I sucked in a sharp breath as I realized how close we were, bodies perfectly aligned. A flush crept over my face and chest, and I tried to convince myself it was anger and not something else entirely.
We had been even closer in the club, but this felt different. There, it had been socially acceptable, if ill-advised, to be so close. I had given myself a pass for the night to act on what I wanted without repercussions, but even then, I wouldn’t give in. And the truth, which I wouldn’t admit to anyone, was that I wanted to be close to Ben. It had taken every bit of my self-control not to go home with him.
The proximity felt forbidden and delicious in the workplace, and I fought the impulse to arch into him. His eyes held mine for a beat, fire lighting behind his as he watched the transformation. For the first time, I noticed flecks of gold intermixed with the dark brown. This close, I could smell his unique scent, some mix of fresh laundry and sandalwood, which the dominating smells of the club had overpowered. His gaze flicked down to my lips and then back up, and my stomach clenched in response. As he inched closer to me, Eduardo’s voice came from around the corner.
Both of us jumped away from each other like schoolchildren caught misbehaving, and I turned my back to where Eduardo would be in a few seconds to compose myself.
Ben looked unbothered, and I seethed that this—my future at the company—was a game that left him unaffected.
“I’m glad I caught you before you went to your offices.” He handed each of us a Post-it note. “Here is the contact for Dean Warren. Come to me with questions, but I don’t need to approve every decision you make.” He smiled before he turned back down the hall. I almost asked him to join us for an elevator ride, but despite my desperation, I couldn’t come up with a reason that made even a lick of sense.
I turned from his retreating back to find Ben’s sharp eyes already on me. “Juliana—”
“I should get back to work.” I hurried down the hallway to the elevator, body still tingling from our close contact.
“You’ll be stuck with me for at least the elevator ride. Might as well talk to me.”
I turned on my heel, heading for the stairs without a word. He may have had a point with the whole “skittish” thing, because here I was, literally running away from him.
Our interactions over the past two years had always been short. A snippy argument here and there, followed by some over-the-top trick to mess with each other, then weeks or months of nothing but glares and smirks across the auditorium. Those breaks gave me a chance to reset, to fortify myself against him. There’d be no reprieve now, and who knew what I’d get myself into with that sort of proximity.
“Really?” he called after me. “You’re that stubborn? Your office is six flights down.”
“I missed my run this morning,” I called over my shoulder. “Exercise is important.”
I threw the door to the stairs open, knowing I’d regret the walk in three-inch heels but less than I’d regret what I thought was about to happen in the hallway.
This was going to be a long couple of months.