Chapter 40
Braxton
I didn’t want to tell her. Deep down, I knew I would have to eventually, but this didn’t feel like the right moment.
When Hazel died, Eliane looked away, I made her look away. Completely in shock, not thinking much of the consequences.
I knew she would want for Hazel to have a good goodbye, but I didn’t want to burden her with that at that moment.
When we went to Zephron, I knew I was going to talk to him about it.
It was pretty clear by then they were in a relationship or something.
I told him my ideas, put out a plan and he fixed the last few things.
The day Eliane went to steal her memories back, Hazel was buried.
I wanted to ask her to go there, but she needed to rest.
So I didn’t.
I hope she doesn’t blame me for that.
However, it is a decision I made that I can’t change. Death is a weird thing. I never knew how to find comfort after killing or people dying.
I never found comfort.
Hearing her voice again helped me relax after Ethan died. She helped me relax.
I never liked killing. But I kill.
Even if I killed by accident, it is still killing—taking a life that wasn’t mine to take.
And somehow his scream drove me insane. My hands were shaking as I saw the clotted blood on them.
As I stroll further towards the mountain, my leg gets heavier with every step.
Ethan made a good cut in my upper leg, and my ankle is swollen because of one of his kicks.
I bite my lip as I force myself further.
“Are you okay? It feels like something is stabbing you,” Eliane bites at me. Shit. I forgot for a moment she could feel some of my pain if she let me in.
“Yes,” I stammer. She can block me out if she wants to, but I am not going to tell her that. I don’t actually want her to block me out. The compass flies in front of me and I look up.
I have a long way to go.
At least two hours must have passed. I haven’t come across any other candidates, and no walls have tried to squeeze me. According to Eliane, nothing unusual has happened to her either. She hasn’t seen anyone or experienced anything special.
Eliane’s compass does work the way she promised, and the mountain is now in front of me.
The only thing holding me away from it, being a running river.
The mountain isn’t as big as the one in Fosia forest, but still it is a big climb.
My feet drag me to the left. I can’t look around the mountain, therefore it is way too big, but it seems like the mountain is in the middle of the forest, surrounded by water and trees.
But as I said, it really is too big to actually tell.
“I am almost at the mountain. Where are you at?” As I ask Eliane the question, footsteps fill my ears and I freeze, reaching for my sword. I spin around, ready to defend myself.
A dagger presses against my sword as I slash forwards.
“Hi, Brax.”
Two honey brown eyes and a wide grin look at me as she presses her dagger against my sword.
“Eliane, jeez.” I laugh, letting go of my sword, slipping it back in its holder.
I wipe the beats of sweat on my forehead away with my palm, scanning her completely from forehead to toe to see if she is okay.
She follows my lead, slipping her dagger in its belt.
Her eyes keep hold on my cheeks, and by the thoughts I read before, I know she is looking at my dimples, resulting in me only smiling wider. Just for her.
I step forward, wrapping an arm around her. Her face was covered in little strokes of mud and sweat. I don’t even want to imagine what I look like. Something like her, only covered with the smell of blood I assume.
“Hi,” I breathe out.
She holds onto my grip, but steps back and looks me dead serious in the eyes.
“Since we are already bonded for life,” she stutters. “Do you want to leave together?”
She starts rattling, fidgeting her fingers.
“Since you already want to leave, you know. It is okay if you say no, but I thought I should ask. I will meet Da later, but I thought maybe you would want to come,” she blurs out, looking down at her feet, being busy with her hands and her necklace around her neck.
I press two fingers under her chin, forcing her to look me in the eye.
“It would be my honor to leave with you.”
I would swear, her pupils widened.
“Good.” She coughs. “Great even.” Her smile widens, anxiety washing away just because of those few reassuring words. She brings her face back in form, clapping her hands clean together.
“Let’s climb this fucking mountain and end this.”
I make a gesture with my hand. “Ladies first.”
She takes the lead but lets out a laughing huff.
Our first obstacle from now on.
Crossing that big running, streaming river.
It might not become a problem for her, but it will be for me.
Eliane throws her backpack on the ground and before I can blink my eyes her shirt follows. My eyes can’t help but trace the lines of her curves as I stand frozen to the spot. My eyes go from her towards the river and back to her.
She is going through it.
She looks over her shoulder as she takes her pants off.
“What?” She smirks, one corner of her mouth lifting as she catches my surprise. “I want to have some dry clothes when I am on the other side.” My throat goes dry and I try to swallow. I step towards her. My eyes peer at the water.
She asks again. I try to dodge her gaze.
“Nothing,” I stutter, my face moveless like iron, but it feels like my knees are shaking and I am surprised she doesn’t see.
One, two, three…
I count to ten, grounding myself and I pull my shirt and pants off, stuffing them in my backpack.
In her undergarments she steps into the streaming river.
My eyes follow her closely. I want to study her body, count every freckle, trace every curve, but all I can focus on is the water streaming over her.
The water that gushes like a hose through my ears.
She tiptoes in, her slim, but toned arms lifting her backpack above her head until she is at the deepest of the river, the water just above her shoulders.
My feet touch the water, and I hold my breath as I follow her lead.
I move my toe, trying to ease the cold that is leaving red spots on my feet.
I suck in a sharp breath and let my body sink deeper, pressing my eyes shut.
I draw in my stomach as the water touches my skin.
My mind flashes back to that night, my feet rolling over the stones beneath me. I press my eyes closed firmly.
Where is Eliane?
My head feels light, and the water reaches just under my chest.
Fuck, I need to get out.
I feel warm tears roll over my cheek as I press my eyes close even harder.
A murmur fills my ears next to my own heartbeat.
“Braxton.”
A hand brushes my shoulder.
Eliane’s warm fingers touch my skin.
“What did they do to you?” she whispers, her hands covering my cheeks, brushing over stubbles. My eyes are still closed, not being able to look at her. Water rushes next to my body, as I am still holding my breath.
It is her voice that drags me out of my trans, out of the reaction my body gives to the water.
“Let me help you.”
Her lips brush against mine softly.
I want to open my mouth to let her in, but before I can, she pulls away. I wouldn’t call it a kiss, but it does make me open my eyes. A kiss has never left me feeling so full and empty all at once. One touch of her lips shakes me out of all my nightmares and leaves me licking my lips.
Everything around us isn’t important anymore, my eyes looking deeply into her eyes and she smirks.
Only then do I realize what she did.
Offering me distraction.
I freeze again, realizing I am into the water.
I look around flustered. Her hands grab my face again, her soft fingers cupping my cheeks.
I melt into her touch, but my heart is still thundering, my sight still blurry.
Her backpack is already on the other side.
Only then I realize I am a tele. I could have just teleported us, but no.
I chose to face my biggest fear.
“Hey, look at me. I am here, you are safe. Let’s get out of here,” she comforts me. Her arm hooks around my waist. I glance to the side as we move forward slowly. The words tremble out of my mouth before I’ve even had a second to think.
“They used water on me.”
Her eyes focus on me, inviting me to speak further without pushing.
“They used water to torture me. They used it on me after—” I whimper, biting on my cheek, pressing my lips into a firm line as the memories crash in.
The water starts to lower, and we are almost on the other side again.
Her doe eyes look up at me, and I can’t look her in the eye.
I throw my head back, taking a shuddery breath.
“They used it on me after I killed my eight-year-old opponent in a contest.”
I look at her to see her disgust, but all I see is a tear rolling over her cheek.
“I stabbed him through the heart in fear for the torture, not meaning to actually hurt him, not a clue about what was coming for me.” The memories crash back in.
“I killed a boy at only eight years old and got the title I deserved. I was being tortured with water after, drowned, I got exactly what I deserved.”
I did get what I deserved. It is why I never have fought back harder. I am a disappointment. I deserve all of this happening. I just want someone to be proud of me.
But I am not to be trusted.
“I am sorry,” she replies.
A spring breeze touches my bare skin.
“It wasn’t you who hurt me. I killed someone and they gave me what I deserved.” Her fingers brush the scar on my chest, like she is realizing why it is there.
A reminder for what I did.
“You didn’t deserve it, don’t say that,” she bites, trying to hide the pity.
I shrug my shoulders. I let the backpack fall on the ground and look back at the water I just crossed. Her hands grab mine.
“You did it.”
The corner of my mouth twitches.
“I did.”
I continue, “But with your help.” I press my lips forward in a kiss and she slaps me in a tease, laughing.
“No, Braxton,” she clarifies. “I am proud of you. I really am.” The last words are soft. I try to ignore the story I just told her, and she doesn’t ask about it again. Instead, I focus on the words she just said.
She is proud of me.
Proud.
A word I have been longing for so long.
A warm feeling fills my chest. Like all my problems are melting in front of the sun.
Finally, someone is proud of me.
It might not be one of my parents, but it is her.
Eliane is proud of me.
And that makes me even feel better.
“Let’s use my tele ability right now,” I continue, not wanting to let her know how much those words mean to me.
She nods her head in agreement, and I start to think maybe she knew I could have just used that, but she let me enter the water anyway, and I am kind of thankful for that.
“I need to get my clothes on first.” She grins and I wink.
“Oh you didn’t want to climb the mountain half naked. How strange,” I tease. She throws my shirt at me teasing, sticking out her tongue as my eyes trace her wet, silk bra. I pull my pants over my hips and ruffle my hand through my sticky sweaty hair.
“Thank you,” I breathe out seriously. She doesn’t interfere any further, she just grabs my hand and I let the tingle rush through my veins.