Chapter 5
Elizabeth stood in front of Pemberley Manor with Mrs. Reynolds, watching the main road, while some of the servants were trying to get a glimpse from the windows.
“We are both anxious and excited to finally have them back home, are we not, Elizabeth? And I am sure the entire staff feels the same.”
For some time, at her own request, the housekeeper had been calling Elizabeth by her given name, as a strong bond based on consideration as well as affection had grown between them.
“Indeed, Mrs. Reynolds,” she answered, her heart pounding with the painful awareness that in her case it was much more.
The master was returning to Pemberley together with his sister, Miss Georgiana Darcy, and Elizabeth had been waiting and dreading the moment since they received the news, a fortnight ago.
With Mr. Darcy away, Elizabeth had spent the most tormenting month of her life in a tumult of feelings she could not recognise, nor understand.
Since she had been out, she had had the chance of knowing several young gentlemen.
While her sister Jane—with her classic and flawless beauty—was always the centre of attention during parties or balls, there were a few who had favoured her.
Some of them in Meryton, others in London while visiting her aunt.
She had enjoyed the company of some more than others, but never had she given more than a thought to any of them.
Jane had been in love once with a young man who wrote her poems, but his admiration had proved to be as feeble as his verses.
To Elizabeth, the young men around her were mostly seen as a passing amusement.
And there she was, engaged in employment with Mr. Darcy—an honourable and fair gentleman who paid her exceedingly generously, treated her with the utmost respect and proper distant politeness, who had never looked at her or addressed her except for when they discussed household affairs—and there was not a single day, not a single hour when she did not think of him during his absence.
While attending to her duties, every object, every spot in the house reminded her of him. She spent more time than she should have in the library, even sitting in his personal chair, at his desk. She felt ashamed, horrified by such strange feelings that she could not rid herself of.
The days were better, as she was caught up with her responsibilities, and she was always in the company of either Mrs. Reynolds or some of the staff.
But during the nights, her torment increased, as thinking of him kept her awake for hours and falling asleep was dangerous, as she would dream of him.
Her reasoning was strong enough to keep her mind clear.
She understood she had become infatuated with a man who was outside her circle and who was nothing to her but her employer and the man who had given her the chance to help her father.
She also realised that her admiration for him was mostly born from others’ high opinion of him, as she had had the chance during their limited interactions to witness too little of his true character.
With all this in mind, she hoped she would soon overcome this silly infatuation and return to her usual reasonable self.
However, regardless of her struggle, she could not resist the temptation to enter the master suite one day, when she was looking for Mr. Farrell.
The butler was not there, the apartment was empty, but her sensation while being in that place so intimate to Mr. Darcy was so overwhelming that she needed some time to regain her composure, before meeting anyone else.
From that moment on, she counted the days until her employment would end, a moment she knew would be happy—for she would return to her family—but also painful for she would have to leave Pemberley.
She tried to carry out all her responsibilities as proficiently and as quickly as possible, wondering if he would return before her departure or not.
Once she left, she might never see him again and perhaps that was for the best.
Or they could meet again—considering her close relationship with Mrs. Reynolds and the family bond between Mrs. Gardiner and Mrs. Templeton.
But if such an event did occur she, as a former employee, could expect no more than a brief acknowledgement and a cold greeting, which was not too far from how he had treated her so far.
His behaviour could not be blamed for her being a simpleton.
“Perhaps if he marries one day, we will have him at Pemberley more often,” she heard Mrs. Reynolds saying.
“Excuse me?” she asked foolishly.
“The master! I was telling that you that every time he leaves we miss him and that we hope he will be more at home if he marries. But I really do not know who might be good enough for him! I pray he will marry only for the deepest love and choose a woman worthy of him, to love him as he deserves! I could not bear to see anything less,” the housekeeper said with emotion as the carriage approached.
Elizabeth’s knees weakened; she chose not to respond, gathering her strength in order to present a proper appearance to the master and his sister.
Of Miss Darcy she knew nothing but what she had gleaned from other people’s stories and from pictures and she was curious enough to see her in person. But the curiosity of meeting one sibling did not diminish the distress of seeing the other.
The carriage stopped and, angry at herself for her stupidity, Elizabeth felt her heart pounding.
Darcy was the first to step down. He looked at them and bowed his head.
He looked pale and tired; his expression was different from that which Elizabeth had seen before.
His eyes briefly caught Elizabeth’s and he seemed to bow to her for a second time, but the gesture was so small that she was uncertain if it truly had happened or if it was only her imagination.
Then he stretched out his hand and a small gloved hand from inside grasped it and Miss Darcy appeared—a girl whose blue eyes stunned Elizabeth.
She looked tall for her young age, thin and also very pale, with some dark circles around her bright eyes.
Undoubtedly, the journey had been difficult for both siblings.
“Oh, my dear Miss Darcy! Let me look at you! My sweet, beautiful princess! We have longed to see you again! I cannot wait for your exquisite music to sound around Pemberley again! How beautiful you are—so very much like your mother!”
The girl embraced the housekeeper affectionately, a little embarrassed by such effusive praise. Over her shoulder, she looked at Elizabeth, who waited in silence.
Darcy took his sister’s arm and led her to Elizabeth.
“And this, my dear, is Miss Elizabeth Bennet, to whom we are grateful for all the improvements in our household as well as for Mrs. Reynolds’ fully recovered health,” he said in a voice that gave Elizabeth shivers.
He spoke with such reverence about her that she wondered if he meant it or was simply jesting.
“Miss Bennet, this is my sister, Miss Georgiana Darcy,” he continued, their eyes meeting once again.
“Miss Darcy, it is an honour to make your acquaintance.” She curtseyed properly.
“Likewise, Miss Bennet. My brother has spoken very highly of you and I wish to thank you for your help too.”
With her doubts gone, Elizabeth’s cheeks coloured at the compliment that she felt was neither deserved, nor needed. After all, she was only carrying out her duties.
“You are both very kind and generous with your praise, Miss Darcy. I have only done my best and I am glad that I could be of help,” she said in complete honesty.
“Come, let us enter—it is very hot outside. Oh dear, but where is Mrs. Younge? How come she is not with you?” Mrs. Reynolds enquired. From behind them, Elizabeth observed Miss Darcy glancing at her brother, her paleness increasing.
“Mrs. Younge has been released from her position,” Darcy replied with a sharp coldness that surprised even Mrs. Reynolds. The housekeeper seemed disconcerted for a moment, then she continued.
“I am so happy to have you both home! We have prepared your favourite dishes, Miss Georgiana! And the pianoforte is waiting for you. There are fresh flowers in the music room, as you like! Come, let us enter!”
Mrs. Reynolds and Miss Darcy led the way into the house, while Elizabeth and Darcy remained a few steps behind. To her astonishment and eliciting another quiver, she felt Darcy’s hand touching her arm.
“Miss Bennet?” he said in a low voice. She stopped and turned to him, hoping he would not notice her nervousness.
“Yes, sir?”
“Would you be so kind as to join me in the library for a few moments? There is something of great importance that I wish to ask you about.”
She knew her expression had changed when he frowned too. “It is regarding my sister,” he added, and she breathed a sigh of relief, scolding herself for any silly thoughts that had crossed her mind.
“Of course, sir. Now?”
“If you have a little time to spare…”
“Certainly,” she said, wondering again how he did not realise that all her time was at his disposal with regard to the house or the family.
They entered the library and, unlike any other time before, he politely asked her to sit. She obeyed.
“Miss Bennet, what I wish to ask you might overstep the boundaries of your assignment and please rest assured that I would not mind if you declined it.”
His voice was full of emotion and it even trembled slightly; she was puzzled and genuinely worried, as she imagined something distressed him exceedingly.
“Mr. Darcy, I would never decline anything that you asked of me, as long as it is for the benefit of the household or the family.” She was being honest and her eyes, locked with his, showed him as much.
“Thank you. I shall not deny that I have long reflected upon this request, as I could only address it to someone who I trust completely.”
He stopped and she blushed, waiting.