Chapter 5 #2
“I first intended to talk to Mrs. Reynolds, but considering what I know of you, I feel you might be the right person to support my sister. She has been through some highly distressing circumstances in the last few weeks and she could use the discreet support of a friend, to regain her usual self.”
Elizabeth was now completely stunned. His words, but most importantly the gravity in his voice and his expression, proved the significance of his request.
“I cannot reveal any details to you, and it is not because I do nottrust you. Furthermore, I would insist on you not questioning my sister either; for many reasons this would be too painful to her and would only worsen her state.”
“Sir, my only question is whether Miss Darcy’s health is in danger and if she needs some particular support in this regard,” she replied.
“No,” he answered without hesitation. “Fortunately, her health is as good as it can be. She needs companionship, I believe. She should not be left alone for too long but not imposed upon either. I would gladly be her companion, but as a brother more than ten years her senior, I feel she is not comfortable with me. I fear my constant presence troubles her more than it helps.”
He seemed helpless and Elizabeth felt the need to comfort him.
“Mrs. Reynolds told me that Miss Darcy’s affection for you is very strong, so I am sure she enjoys your company.
But I can understand your concern; sometimes, a young woman is more comfortable with another woman close to her age.
I love my father dearly, but most of the time I prefer to be with my sister, Jane. ”
“Precisely. This is why I applied to you.”
“I would be delighted and honoured to offer Miss Darcy my company,” Elizabeth declared, still puzzled by the conversation.
“Thank you,” he repeated. “I know this should be the duty of a lady’s companion, and I am looking for someone for this position. The previous lady proved to be unworthy of our confidence and betrayed our trust in a most harmful way.”
“I am sorry to hear that, Mr. Darcy. I cannot imagine… If only… Could you suggest to me some activities Miss Darcy enjoys, so I can approach her without bothering her?”
“Yes. She likes to play the pianoforte and I dare say she is very talented. Do you play, Miss Elizabeth?”
She tried to jest. “A little and very ill, I’m afraid. But I do love music and adore a good performance.”
“Good. She likes books, theatre and opera, to walk, to ride… All things that I imagine you enjoy too,” he said, and she smiled.
“All except riding being the noticeable difference. I am fond of horses, but only if I can watch them from the ground.”
A little smile appeared on his lips too. “I believe that will do very well.”
It was silent for a moment and the library seemed suddenly too small to accommodate their nearness that had grown equally uncomfortable and dangerously pleasant for both. He rose and she did the same.
“Miss Bennet, please keep this conversation completely secret, even from Mrs. Reynolds. As much as we appreciate her affection, my sister would not want to be surrounded by pity or concern.”
“You may depend on my discretion, sir.”
“Thank you. And, Miss Elizabeth…”
“Yes?”
“As I said, I know my request exceeds your duties. I would be happy to repay your effort properly…”
His words cut her heart like a blade and she stared at him in disbelief, while the burden of pain and disappointment fell on her shoulders.
“You wish to repay my friendship, Mr. Darcy?” she whispered, grieved and hurt.
“That will not be necessary, I assure you,” she said, then gathered herself enough to step towards the door.
In a heartbeat, he was beside her and he grasped her arm again.
This time, his fingers remained on her arm, holding her gently but firmly.
“Miss Bennet, please! No, not at all! I deeply apologise if my words hurt you. I assure you they were not intended in that way. I only thought that you had already accomplished your duties better than we expected and I do not wish to take advantage of you.”
He looked distressed enough for her to believe him. Besides, he must genuinely regret his unwilling offense, otherwise why would he take the trouble to apologise to an employee?
They were by the door, only inches away, he was still holding her arm, their eyes, filled with emotions, were locked.
“Mr. Darcy, not for a moment during this assignment have I felt I was being taking advantage of. Quite the contrary. At Pemberley, I have found a place and people that make me feel appreciated and I will certainly miss them when I leave. As for Miss Darcy, I am sure her company will be to my benefit.”
“Miss Bennet, I might not always express myself clearly enough, but I hope you do not doubt my appreciation and consideration, as I hope you do not doubt that you will be missed when you leave Pemberley.”
She nodded, hoping he would release her soon, as her emotions were becoming too strong to control. He seemed to understand her, and slowly withdrew his hand from her arm, then opened the door for her.
“Thank you,” he said once more, and then closed the door behind her.
Elizabeth ran to her chamber, breathless, her heart beating wildly.
Despite her wit, her strength of character and her reasoning, she could not stop wondering if he would miss her too when she left.
Although she knew such a question to be ridiculous, unreasonable, silly—something in his voice sounded strong enough in her head for her to seek an answer.
Half an hour later she returned to her duties, and later that same afternoon, she witnessed Miss Darcy performing in the music room.