9 Library #2
Pop’s face lit up. “I don’t know what I’d call it, but things have certainly become a bit more serious. I was thinking of taking her somewhere special …” His voice trailed off.
I smiled. “Ah! The cologne?”
“The cologne,” he replied.
It was nice to see him making an effort. It was nice to see him doing something with someone that wasn’t just work. And if I did pass the exam and go to London … then he wouldn’t miss me so much.
“I think that’s a great idea. And I like the cologne. Maybe just go a bit easier on it next time.”
Pop laughed. “Thanks, Will. Have fun tonight. Think about asking Theo, okay?”
On the way to Krista’s, Theo invaded my thoughts no matter what I did.
Oh, there was Pepe’s where we’d had pizza, and the street corner where we’d opened our fortune cookies.
There was the library where I met the stupid boy in the first place.
And now I was wondering what he was doing in there, wondering why he’d said he had plans when he didn’t, wondering why he’d kissed me and then started avoiding me. Him and his stupid sexy glasses.
Krista’s party was already going strong when I got there. She’d decorated her yard like a cemetery, and a smoke machine curled gray mist over the grass.
“Willa!”
I looked up to see Sara/Vickie from Stranger Things calling me from the open door.
“Oh my God, you look great,” she said, squeezing my arm. She led me to a corner where Lennie and Krista and the whole gang were standing.
“She’s here! Now we can get our photo.”
“My little brother promised he’d make himself useful if he was allowed to stay,” Krista/Eleven told me.
“He’s doing a great job.”
“You’re too nice, Willa Taylor,” Krista said, ruffling my hair. “You need a drink.”
“A drink sounds good,” I replied, and Krista’s eyes widened in surprise. I almost never drank alcohol, mostly because I’d heard about the party Melissa, Krista’s sister, had in her senior year, when the cops showed up and everyone got in serious trouble. But tonight I liked the idea of caring less.
So I followed Krista to a table with a huge bowl of green punch, where she grabbed a ladle, then handed me a paper cup.
It smelled not great. I screwed up my face. “What is it?” I asked.
Krista laughed evilly. “Poison apple. Try it if you dare.”
And I did dare. Over and over again.
Later on, when most kids had gone home, it was just us. Me, Lennie, Sara, Krista, Avery, and Wyatt, sitting in the mess of Krista’s living room. And I was telling them all about Theo. I’d been checking my phone all night, hoping for a message. An explanation. But there was nothing.
“And I’m still going to the library,” I babbled. “Like I am. I am loving the library, and I love my studies. But I don’t love him. No, I hate him …” I sipped the glass of water Lennie had brought me.
“Maybe we should go home?” Lennie came over and helped me up. “But you’re right, Will. Just keep focused on your future.”
We said goodbye to Krista, I think, and then Lennie and Sara walked me home … I think.
A thousand hammers in my skull woke me up the next morning.
I laughed to myself as an image of Lennie trying to moonwalk flashed in my head. But it was just as quickly replaced by a surge of panic as a half memory of sending a message to Theo invaded my head. I sat up in bed and scrambled for my phone.
I opened my messages and there was Theo’s name, right at the top. I closed my eyes as nausea churned in my gut.
Opening one eye, I read what I’d written. At 11:56 p.m.
Me: Why can’t yoyj joiust biuhk ljdm
Theo: ?
I exhaled as the panic diluted. Thank God he had no clue what I was trying to say. I didn’t even have a clue what I was trying to say. I’d been so determined not to think of him, and there it was, evidence that I had been thinking of him, and now he knew it too.
I pulled my duvet over my head. I wouldn’t go to the library today. I couldn’t deal with his stupid face. But then he’d know he’d won …
“Willa. Coffee?” Pop knocked on the door.
“Sure, Pop, thanks,” I said as loudly and as breezily as possible, hoping he wouldn’t guess that I’d been drinking. Not that he’d be that mad, but I knew he’d get his worried face and I couldn’t deal with that right now either.
I stuck to my plans, forcing every step, and at the library, I stopped at Jo’s desk first. Bright red dress today, with her hair tied up in a flowery scarf and glitter eyeshadow making her brown eyes sparkle even more.
“Hi.” I smiled. “Is …?”
“Theo here?” she finished for me.
Oh my God.
“No … I mean, yes. But only because I was thinking of sitting somewhere else today …” And then I wished I hadn’t said anything at all, because she looked so concerned.
“He is here, sweetie.” Jo looked apologetic.
I sighed. “Never mind.” I wondered if I should mention the whole her-and-Pop thing, but my brain was not playing ball and I could barely string a thought together. All I could manage was “Oh, Jo, do you like pizza?”
“Pizza?” She was confused.
“Pizza,” I repeated, wishing food hadn’t even entered my mind, as my stomach was not up for that.
“Love it. Why?”
“I cannot say,” I said mysteriously, reminding myself to tell Pop to take Jo to Pepe’s for their date.
And then I saw him. Sitting right there in our usual spot. In his beige chinos and his white shirt, a sweater hung over his shoulders like he was about to “play a spot of golf.” Frustratingly handsome.
When he looked up and saw me, he smirked, picked up two takeout cups from the table, and stood.
“I figured you might need this today,” he said, handing me a cup.
I could smell the pumpkin spice latte through the little opening, and it made my stomach lurch.
“Well, thanks.” I would not be as rude as him. He looked puzzled. Good.
Despite the fact that it made me feel like I was going to puke right there in the library, I took my coffee, turned away, and walked down one of the aisles at random. I wasn’t ready to talk to him. Not today, and maybe never.
I breathed in the smell of the books as I ran my fingers along the spines. Of course I was back in the romance section. And without even turning around, I could tell he was there.
“Can I help you?” I asked. I pulled the sleeves of my hoodie over my hands and held the cup like it was going to protect me from him.
“Can I help you?” he replied.
“Why would I need help?”
“Did you have a good time at your Halloween party?” And there was that stupid little smirk again. He walked toward me as I tried to get my words out. But they were stuck.
“If you have something you want to say to me, you should just say it.” He was even closer now, whispering.
“I do actually have something to say. It wasn’t my Halloween party. And yes—“
Then he moved so quickly I didn’t have time to react, his hand on my face, his body pressed against mine.
He kissed me right in the middle of the rant I was about to have.
And I couldn’t pull away. The way he had one hand on my lower back now, pulling me closer, his other hand on my cheek, and his lips, his lips pressed so hard against mine that I wouldn’t have been able to pull away even if I’d wanted to.
But then he did. Just like that. And he backed away until he was leaning against the opposite bookshelves, leaving me standing there, confused all over again.
“This is stupid,” he whispered. To himself. To me? “You’re leaving …”
“So are you,” I shot back, angry and desperate.
Theo threw his hands in the air. “Maybe I’m not. I don’t know. Maybe I kind of like it here after all.” Then he looked at me, with a vulnerability I’d never seen. “And I think you’re the reason why …”
And it was like all the air left my body. This shock of truth, which I hadn’t expected, shook something in me. All the petty things I’d been thinking, how I wasn’t going to talk to him, or sit next to him, turned to old-book dust.
I closed the distance between us. I could hear the sound of his heartbeat, or mine. I couldn’t tell.
“I feel it too,” I whispered against his lips.
And then I was kissing him. Urgent. Desperate. Quiet. Surrounded by a thousand other love stories that couldn’t possibly be better than ours.