Chapter Nine
I made up my mind: I was going to do this.
Before my first class Wednesday, I went into the math and sciences wing for the first time ever.
I had no idea where to go and I floundered for a few minutes, beginning to sweat as students arrived.
I finally asked a lanky boy with a bad mustache where the engineering classrooms were.
He pointed me in the right direction, and I hurried from door to door, looking for Maudie’s name on one of the schedules.
I finally found it. She was in room one fifty-seven for first and second hours. My plan was to hurry back to that wing after my second class and catch Maudie on her way out, but back in the foyer, I ran smack into her.
Well, I was not prepared for that. Fortunately, instead of asking why I was coming out of math and sciences, she just smiled. “Hey.”
“Hey. I was kind of looking for you.”
“Oh?”
Now what? Students were streaming past us by then. I beckoned her toward the wall and worked my way through traffic. She was at my heels. “Look, I felt bad that I was busy the other day and I wanted to ask if you’re busy this weekend?”
She looked shocked. “I’m free Friday night.”
“We could maybe…I don’t know, get dinner or something.”
“I’d like that.” She took a pen from behind her ear and scribbled her number on the back of my gradebook like we were in middle school. “We better get to class.”
I nodded. I was always early and I was sure my students would find the locked door and leave. When I finally got there, though, seven of them were huddled in the hallway. “Sorry I’m late.”
“You’re not late,” Latrice said. “We just thought you must be dead or something.”
“Yeah, you’re not so lucky.” I unlocked the door, flipped on the lights, and set my things on my desk, careful that my gradebook was face down.
Mario stopped in front of me before I could catch my breath. “Yeah, I wanted to ask you why I got a D on my paper.”
“Come talk to me after class. I’ll be happy to give you tips on how to rewrite it.”
Latrice snorted from the front row. “I’m the one who should be asking why I got an A on mine.”
I felt fairly useless that day; my mind was wandering.
I had no idea what I should ask Maudie to do.
I’d never dated someone I knew nothing about before.
My mouth went on about persuasive writing and my hand went along with it, scribbling on the whiteboard, but my brain tried to picture what kind of restaurant Maudie would like to go to or what kind of movie she might like to see.
I finished my first class, talked with Mario and Eliza, and taught my second class.
I was putting my things together when Terri poked her head into my room.
“Vera has your new parking sticker.”
“Thanks.” I caught up with Terri and started down the hall to Vera’s office. “How’re you doing?”
“Fine. Saw you talking to Maudie Simms this morning.”
This really was straight out of middle school. “Sure. I was.”
“How come?”
I almost made something up, but I said it just as we entered Vera’s office. “We’re going out Friday.”
Terri’s eyes went huge. “On a date?”
Vera handed me my sticker. “Who’s the lucky woman?”
“Maudie Simms,” Terri said.
Vera looked surprised. “Well, nice!”
I hung nervously in the doorway. “How well do you guys know her? I mean, I really don’t know her very well and I don’t know what we should do.”
Terri and Vera looked at one another for so long I knew I must have said something wrong. “Ask her to pick a restaurant,” Vera suggested.
I couldn’t stand their awkward, almost conspiratorial looks. “You guys. What am I missing?”
Vera’s glance had dropped south. “Hmm.”
“You don’t think they’re big enough?” Terri asked.
“I’m not so sure,” Vera said.
Terri nodded decisively. “I think they’re big enough.”
They were staring at my breasts. “Wait, excuse me?”
“Don’t get me wrong,” Vera said. “You’re quite lovely. Maudie just has…well…”
Terri sighed and rolled her eyes. At least she wasn’t staring at my chest anymore. “It’s a little bit of a fetish, that’s all.”
Most of the lesbians I knew liked boobs, and I certainly would not have called that a fetish. I personally liked boobs a lot. Before I could say anything more, Vera cleared her throat. “It’s a nursing fetish.”
I closed my eyes. “Why do you know this?”
“She used to date Melanie Rogers,” Terri said. “You know, Melanie?” She made a gesture about a foot away from her own breasts. “Melanie talks.”
“Enough, guys.” I felt bad talking behind Maudie’s back and was sick of people checking me out.
“I think you’ll have a nice date,” Terri said. Her grin was teasing and I didn’t like it one bit.
Vera shook her head. “Sam’s right, it’s enough. Leave her alone already.”
“Yeah, I’m going to take off. Thanks for this.” I waggled the sticker on my finger and barely acknowledged Terri, who was still looking crafty.
Why couldn’t anything in my life be normal?
Now I had too much information going into a date I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on in the first place.
There was no way we’d get naked on the first date, anyway.
I didn’t operate that way. I wrote that way, granted, but I’d never done more than exchange small good night kisses on first dates in real life.
Of course, Maudie had read all of my books.
Lisa came over with brownies that evening.
I’d asked her if she had lesson plans to do again, but she’d grinned sheepishly and said no, it was just too quiet in the house.
She’d asked if I had papers to grade and I’d said no, but I had writing to do.
I wanted to try again, to see if I could write in her presence.
I figured it couldn’t be worse than my usual sitting and staring at the screen.
Brownies were first on the docket though. “These are really good.”
Lisa laughed. “They’re from a box.”
“Nothing wrong with that.” I settled in with my computer on my lap and a second brownie in my hand. Lisa sat in the middle of the sofa like she had the other night, and she followed my lead of kicking off her shoes and putting her feet up on the coffee table. “What’re you doing?”
“Scrolling social media. Very important. After that, I have an equally important game of hearts going.”
I smiled to myself. Very important. I opened my thriller doc and stared at my screen for a minute. Nothing. I tried not to look up at Lisa. A few words. A few new thoughts. A half hour, then an hour passed. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good, either.
“May I ask you a question?”
She nodded. “Shoot.”
“So I’ve got a date with this woman Friday night…”
“Congratulations! I’m excited for you! Are you excited?”
“I’m nervous.”
“That’s okay. I think most people are nervous on first dates.”
“Yeah, I barely know anything about her. My question…Okay, you’ve read all my books, right?”
She nodded. “At least once.”
That made me feel amazing. “So most people I’ve dated either haven’t read them before we get together or we at least knew one another pretty well before going out.”
“All she knows about you is what she’s read.”
“Exactly. So…if you and I were to go out on a date…hypothetically, of course…”
Lisa nodded. “Hypothetically.”
“Would you expect me to be like…”
A small smile started on Lisa’s lips. “You’re wondering if she’s expecting you to jump her bones within the first twenty minutes.”
“Okay, I’ve never written that.”
“But you’re wondering if she’s going to think you write from personal experience.”
“Yes.”
Lisa’s eyes sparkled. “So do you?”
“Not…I mean…”
“My guess is that you’re a vers,” she said. “And shy but talented.”
I looked up carefully. Lisa was stretched out on the sofa, arms behind her head, grinning at the ceiling. All I could do was sit there and blush.
“Either that or you’d tie me up, strip off my clothes in a leisurely manner, and sit on top of me masturbating until I beg you to violate me with various and sundry vegetables.”
“I don’t think you’ve read a word I’ve written.”
She whacked me with the throw pillow. There was the biggest smile on her face. “Chocolate? Melted wax?”
“Yeah, you’re the one who needs to write.
” The feeling of being fourteen and giggling with friends at a sleepover came to me.
It wasn’t a sexual feeling per se, even though we were talking about crazy things, just more of a warm fuzzy, like I could say anything and we could just laugh about it.
Thinking about it for another minute or two, I opened up the new doc I’d started the other day.
I didn’t come up for breath for another hour.
Every once in a while, Lisa would cuss at her game and I’d remember she was there, but for the most part, I wrote.
It didn’t flow like it did off my meds, but I got a couple of chapters done, including some really good pages.
I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I liked it. I really did have a muse.
Friday came too soon. It felt like I needed more time to psyche myself up and brainstorm a list of things to talk about and do.
Maudie and I had decided to stay at her house, where she would cook dinner.
I felt a little bad about that, like for a first date we should go out and at least go Dutch if not fight over the check.
She seemed to be into this idea, though, so I picked up a bottle of wine on the way to her apartment and rolled into the parking lot right at six.
I could see from there that the entire porch of number eight was covered in plants.
Like so many plants there wasn’t even room for a token lawn chair.
Some of them had beautiful blooms, some were huge with sleek green leaves, and a few were worse for the wear and tied up against stakes with blown glass water globes sticking out of their pots as if they were in the ICU.
It was maybe a little excessive, but I had plants, too, both indoors and outside, so I just admired them as I went up the walk, and pressed the button outside the door.