Chapter 12
Cordelia
That room calls to me in a way no other has. I stare at it until I can’t handle the feelings anymore and creep out; the alphas following me, but my mind, normally so steady, is awash with images and wants and needs.
I can’t face it right now, so I shove it all deep inside to deal with later.
Focusing on the reason I’m here, I go into the light and airy kitchen and try the back door. It’s locked. It takes me three seconds to find the key in the cupboard drawer and unlock the door, giving Katsu a look that tells him I know exactly what he did.
He doesn’t even have the decency to look ashamed; he just stares at me like he wants to eat me. A look that has me stepping back into the now unlocked door, my chest rising and falling too fast.
There are a million words on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t speak a single one. When he approaches, he picks up my hand, staring at it as he strokes his thumb over my knuckles.
“Thank you,” he murmurs.
“What for?” I ask in a huff of desperation. Underneath the layers of our scents are the cleaning products that were used and a faint and neutral vanilla. It’s not entirely unpleasant, in fact, it feels like something my mother created.
He looks up at me from under his lashes, and I freeze, the instinct of an omega being confronted by an alpha locking me in place.
“For being you.”
Bam. That was a fatal blow. I wheeze, but he somehow maneuvers me, and I don’t even know how it happens, but now I’m trapped, and they are all around me, squeezing us into the most delicious couch I’ve ever sat on, Fox on one side, Bas on the other, and we’re watching a romance movie, and I don’t know how I got here.
I’m trying to pay attention, but I have no idea what’s going on.
I am, however, aware of how hard Fox’s thigh is where it’s pressed to mine. That he can’t sit still. He wriggles forward and back incessantly, but not in an annoying way. I’m aware that Bas hasn’t even tried to watch the movie; he’s just staring at me as if he’s waiting for me to explode.
It’s not going to happen. I can handle this. I just need to stay long enough to be polite, and then I can run away, back to my room, where I can drown myself in his jumper and expel all this sexual tension through the raunchy sex scenes in my manuscript.
As if he can sense my thoughts, he pulls off his hoodie. It’s white with grey and black trim and smells like him. He drags it over my head, and I find myself swamped in the material. My entire self goes to a happy place where I can smell him and lose myself in it for a few long moments.
When I come back out, they are talking.
“I don’t believe you,” Bas says.
I languidly focus on them and try to figure out what they are talking about.
“I’ve read the books,” Sebastian says in challenge. Alarm bells start peeling.
“Yes, so have we.”
I reach over discreetly and pinch the skin over Sebastian’s ribs. He winks at me, but otherwise ignores me.
“Still don’t believe you,” he purrs in pure challenge. It’s a thing all the Sol’s can do. Just arrogantly challenge everyone around them with the confidence of royalty.
“What do you want, Sebastian?” Katsu asks calmly. There’s a stoic serenity on his face that I know Sebastian won’t back down from. These two are going to go head to head. It’s like alpha chicken.
Except I think Fox and I might end up being collateral.
“I want to see you two. Together.” He sits back with his fingers interlaced on his stomach and grins like he’s just won.
I stiffen as if I've been electrocuted. “What?” The strangled shriek escapes from me but is ignored by the three alphas.
“You want to see us have sex?” Katsu asks calmly, with no hint of embarrassment or shame.
“Yes, I want you to role-play one of the sex scenes out of the book and show us what sex could look like between us. An…” he pauses, pretending to think. I wish I could make him shut up. “An audition.”
I choke. Sebastian slaps me on the back, and when I try to bounce up, he catches me and pulls me back down.
“An audition?” Fox says and turns a grin on Katsu. “Baby?”
Katsu groans. “Fine.”
“But not from the novel-”
“The novel is our control,” Sebastian says with a grin that I’m going to smack off his face. How could he do this to me?
“What are you doing, Bas?” I hiss.
“Getting a memory to last a lifetime. You’ll thank me later.”
Katsu pulls out a copy of my book and thumbs through it. He pauses, reads a page, then shakes his head before he finds another one.
“Right, this one.” He walks to Sebastian and passes the open book to him. “You’re reading and directing. Do you think you can handle that?” Their scents combine in the air, sharper, aroused, angry, frustrated. I cringe and try to make myself smaller.
“I can handle anything you throw at me, Alpha.”
The sexy challenge Sebastian throws at Katsu has the room throbbing with alpha pheromones.
Spices, incense, and warmth that is distinctly Katsu; lemon, browned butter, and sage for Fox, and Sebastian with his chocolate, chili, and almonds; and threading through all that is azaleas and the cold of winter.
My scent is growing stronger with my arousal, and I am very aroused right now.
I shudder and squirm on the couch. Suddenly, this day is way out of control, and I have no idea what to even do, but the idea of leaving is not even a whisper of a thought.
“Sebastian,” I say in warning.
“Katsu, you slam Fox against the wall, lean in so your lips brush against him, you put your hands on…oh, one hand on his junk and the other around his throat,” Sebastian looks at me. “So spicy, I love it.”
I press my hand against my mouth. I had dreams about this scene for nights after I wrote it. Why did he pick this one? I will never sleep again.
Katsu peels his T-shirt from his body and folds it up neatly before suddenly slamming Fox up against the wall.
The sheer violence of it has my pussy throbbing.
His hand slides up his thigh and strokes over Fox’s cock possessively.
The other hand squeezes his throat, a powerful display of ownership and dominance over the other alpha.
There is power and control in every line of his body, in every movement of his hands, and in the way his muscles flex as he easily controls Fox.
I can’t get enough air. I’m going to pass out.
“All of this is mine,” Katsu murmurs in a husky and possessive tone.
I shift away from Sebastian. How did I get here? How am I sitting here watching this? Everything, even the air, is overstimulating right now.
Fox tilts his head back, moaning. I freeze, hypnotized by the way he is writhing, the sounds he’s making. They brand themselves into my memories.
“Yes, it’s yours. I’m yours, Alpha. Please don’t make me wait anymore.”
I squeeze my eyes closed, but a moment later peel them open in time to see them kiss. There’s an urgency, but a calmness, too. Like two waves colliding.
“Now, you make him naked,” Seb says roughly.
I bite my lower lip and squeeze my thighs together. Katsu is slow and methodical as he undoes the shirt buttons and strips Fox out of his shirt. He kneels down and takes off his shoes and socks, then peels his pants down, leaning in to inhale the scent straight off of his inner thigh.
My breathing is so loud, and I am so painfully turned on that my body actually aches. One tiny touch to my clit would detonate the best orgasm of my life, I’m sure of it. I clench my fingers on the material of the couch until my knuckles turn white.
“Katsu,” Fox moans. “Knot me.”
“That is not in the script!” Sebastian growls. “Take your clothes off and spin him around so he’s pressed against the wall.”
Katsu follows Seb’s instructions perfectly but doing it with this seductive sexiness that has me feeling as if he’s doing it to me.
“Now, you kiss your way down his back and eat him out.”
I gasp and glance at Sebastian. His face has a look of raw hunger, an intensity that is hard to look at.
Katsu dips, kissing his way over Fox’s skin. The alpha pants and moans, his hands clawing at the wall. I let my gaze drift down and see just how big Katsu is. His hand runs down over his stomach, and he grips his cock by the base, squeezing it hard and then letting go as he kneels.
Fox is adorned in tattoos, and I notice that Katsu traces the outlines of the constellations on his skin with his fingers and tongue. I want to do it, too.
“Come on, baby, open up and let me in.”
“Also not in the script,” Sebastian growls.
I bounce up. “I have to…”
I bolt, but I don’t get far. Sebastian grabs my hips and drags me down onto his lap.
“If you want them to stop, say stop. But I, for one, am curious about how this is going to go down.”
I gasp and struggle, but in the end, I don’t break free, and I watch as Fox pants and calls out Katsu’s name until Katsu rises and slides that massive length of flesh that’s between his legs into Fox’s wet hole.
Every sound, every rasp and gasp, the rich, potent scent of sex fills the air, and it all undoes me.
The erotic sounds of their breathing, Fox’s groans.
Katsu’s mouth on his skin. Their flesh smacking against each other.
If I were blindfolded right now, I would still be just as aroused or more so, just from the sounds these alphas are making.
These are my alphas.
Acting out my words.
I’m going to die. Death by arousal, I do not want that written on my headstone.
But the aroused scent of alphas is a death sentence to my self-control.
My mouth is watering, and I keep breathing deeply to get as much into my lungs as I can.
They are the sweetest, most delicious blend of anything I’ve ever smelled.
Sebastian is hard beneath me, and every movement makes me hyper-aware that I’m just making it worse for both of us. Katsu is a controlled but generous lover; his hands slide all over Fox, caressing, stroking, bringing pleasure. Fox is putty in his hands, responsive and needy.
Would he make those sounds for me?
When Fox comes, Katsu follows, but he doesn’t knot him. I’m almost disappointed. The reality of them finishing brings a single thought. What have we done? Post-nut panic, I think this is called; that’s what Sofia said it was.
I’m never going to be the same. That was a line, we crossed it, and I loved every second of it. Already my fingers itch to get to the laptop, to start hammering out more scenes.
I get up, and this time, I walk out the back with shaking legs, needing air. Needing to breathe. Trying to get the hammering of my heart to slow down.
Sebastian follows me.
“Why did you do that?” I ask, my voice brittle, loud, hungry. So hungry.
He grabs my arm and spins me around. I bounce off his chest and snarl as I step back from him. I’m so frustrated and needy, and yes, a tiny part of me is a little scared.
“Because you needed to know what is going to happen. And I needed to know.”
“Just because I’ve never had sex doesn’t mean I don’t know what happens.”
“I’m not talking about the mechanics; I’m talking about you and me. And me and them. And us and you.”
He steps closer, and I tremble. “I want to bite you, Cordelia. Do you know that? I don’t just want to have sex, or knot you, I want to mark you inside and out, make you mine.
You’ve been mine for so long, and we’re just one step away.
Are they a part of us? Are they the pieces that make us work?
I have all these questions, all this confusion about the future, but the only thing I know for certain is that getting up and fighting with you has been the thing that keeps me going, the only thing that makes me happy.
Secretly being your friend has been the best time of my life.
But I want more. I am done waiting. You needed to know what I want.
You needed to see what I’m going to demand. ”
He keeps coming closer and closer until I have to tilt my head back to see his face. He looks big and stark and a bit frightening, but he smells like mine.
“We’re dating, we said we’d try dating. You’re going too fast,” I mutter in a feeble protest. Not fast enough.
“Do you remember the night we kissed?”
I nod. “I could never forget that night, even if you wanted to.”
“I didn’t want to forget it, Cordelia. Sofia had just left; everything was going wrong. I was moving out, and Mum wasn’t coping, and we were sitting on the porch. I remember how upset you were.”
“And you kissed me because you felt sorry for me.”
“No, no!” he growls and cuts the sound off. “No, that wasn’t why I did it. I was selfish. I wanted you. But you were upset about Sofia, and I knew your mum’s finances were bad, and you had so much going on. I felt so bad for putting that pressure on you.”
“So, you said it was a mistake.”
“Honestly, the words came out with the right intention but the wrong meaning. I have regretted those words, not that night, just those words, since the day it happened.”
“That’s what started our feud? I thought-”
“I know, and I let you believe that. I wanted you angry because I couldn’t handle you being sad and not being able to do anything. So, I just irritated you, over and over.”
I don’t believe him. Do I? I don’t know. It’s just so Sebastian.
“That was when I knew what we were,” Sebastian says, reaching up and brushing my hair behind my ear. My stomach flips wildly, and I get this feeling that I’m falling, but I’m not scared.
“And what are we?” I ask softly, feeling like I want to cry all of a sudden.
“We’re endgame.”
The words obliterate my mind. End game. Scent matches. Fated mates. Whatever you want to call it, these alphas were made for me. Only me. How did I not see it?
“Sebastian-” I whine.
And then Sebastian Sol, my secret friend, the alpha that has been in my heart forever, kisses me like he’s been dying and I’m life.
I cling to him, wrapping my arms around his neck.
He lifts me up with his arms wrapped around my waist so we are plastered together.
His kiss melts my mind; his scent wraps me in safety.
And one single thought comes through loud and clear.
He’s mine.
When he pulls back, I’m panting for air, and so is he. My world just shifted again; it will never be the same. I will walk away broken-hearted or finally made whole.
“If we do this, I won’t be able to let you go. Not for anything. It will be you and me forever.”
“It’s too late for that,” I whisper and drag his mouth back down to mine. “Far too late,” I murmur against his lips.
I have wanted only one thing for so long that I don’t even know when I started wanting it. There’s no part of me that’s going to say no to him. Sebastian Sol was right; he is my endgame, and I think I’ve always known it.