Thirty Nine #2
The embarrassment only lasts for a beat. Because the moment it fades, I feel a surge of validation, of confidence flowing through me.
And I like it.
“Really?” I ask, utterly confused. But then I remember who I’m talking to. “I mean, thank you. Thank you so much! That means a lot to me.”
Then just as quickly as the warmth begins to pool in my stomach, it hardens, sinking to my feet.
“Wait,” I start hesitantly. My mouth is dry, my mind racing. “So if you’ve been watching me since freshman year … I apologize if this comes off any sort of way, but … did you consider selecting me in the draft last summer?”
Alvie’s voice comes through cool and calculated. “Of course,” she answers nonchalantly. “But I was waiting.”
“For what?”
I don’t know what it is with this woman and dramatic pauses, but it needs to stop.
Because yet again, there’s silence on the other end of the phone.
Only this time, when she speaks, I swear I can hear a smile in her voice.
“For a little growth,” she articulates, almost proudly.
“And what I saw in the LNHL finals the other week? That’s exactly what we need. ”
I huff out an awkward laugh. “I didn’t even score,” I dismiss, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear.
Alvie makes a disgruntled noise, like she’s unimpressed with my modesty.
“I’m not talking about scoring,” she says plainly. “I’m talking about teamwork. Think you can handle it?”
My heart starts racing, pounding so hard I feel the vibrations in my fingertips. “Yes,” I answer, steadier this time. “I can handle it.”
And in this moment, despite the storm of nerves swirling inside me, I mean it. Right now, I feel good. Maybe tomorrow I’ll be filled with doubt and self-loathing, and nepotism spirals, but for now, in this heartbeat, I am enough.
She continues, tone turning blunt. “Listen, it’s an immediate position. We’d want you to start conditioning and training as soon as possible. If you’d like, I can email you the details. It would start with a one-year contract, but we’d consider renewing provided everything goes smoothly.”
She places extra weight on the word “smoothly”, which doesn’t at all heighten my anxiety. I swallow, trying to process the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside.
“So, what do you think?”
Another disbelieving laugh tumbles out of me, and I blink what has to be a hundred times, still trapped at the beginning.
Still lost as to how this is happening. Considering, briefly, that Harlowe slipped me an edible and I simply forgot.
“Yeah! I mean—” I shake my head excitedly, eyes flicking to my friends in the stands.
Harlowe and Bailey are going to lose it.
“I—” I stop again, eyes catching on Darcy. Immediately, my grin drops, and my stomach plummets down three floors, shattering on the ground below.
This is the Porcupines. This was her team. The one she worked her whole life for. And here I am, swooping in, like it was mine all along. I didn’t even know I wanted to be on the Porcupines until now.
My voice falters, guilt tugging at my chest. “Sorry, um—” I hesitate, fingers tightening around the phone so hard I swear I hear a crack. “Is there any way I could have some time to think about it?”
“I know it’s a lot to take in,” Alvie says, her voice softer now. “But we’ll need to move quickly. Let’s call it forty-eight hours. Deal?”
I draw in a slow, steadying breath, the excitement in my body tainting to something sour.
I want this. I want it so badly I’m struggling to speak.
But at what cost? I glance at Darcy again, thinking about everything she’s been through.
Everything she’s lost. Everything she’s done for me to even be seen by a coach like Alvie.
“Yeah,” I manage, my voice tight. “Yeah, I’ll definitely let you know before then.”
“Alright then. I believe I have your email on file, so I’ll send over the details. Do you have any questions for me?”
I blink, trying to find the words. I should have some. Anyone else would. And I probably do, but right now, all I can think about is her. Is what a twisted way this is for fate to intervene. “I’m sure I’ll think of some,” I say finally, my voice small. There’s a hum of approval from the other end.
“I know this is a lot to take in at once,” she says. “But I really think this could be an incredible opportunity for you. Please reach out if you think of anything. I look forward to hearing from you.”
“Thank you,” I gush. “So, so much for considering me. I’ll let you know as soon as I have an answer.”
“Of course,” she replies. Then adds, “Take your time, but you know, not too much time.”
A nervous laugh escapes me, and I trip over my own tongue. “Okay, I will! Or—I won’t!”
I can hear the chuckle on the other end. Then, the line goes quiet.
I stare at the phone for a moment, my thoughts a tangled mess. The adrenaline of the call lingers, but now all I can hear is the beat of my own heart, pounding in my ears.
“What was all that about?” Darcy’s voice sounds behind me.
Startled, I whip around, the lump in my throat making it hard to breathe. “Uh—” My voice catches as I try to find my footing. I blink a few times, but it does nothing to help me process.
Her grin drops. “What’s wrong?”
I swallow hard, letting out a steadying breath. “That was—” I hesitate. Even saying the name feels like a betrayal. “I’m not bullshitting you, Darcy, so don’t think I am. But … that was Alvie Lippencott.”
Darcy’s brows furrow, confusion fluttering across her face before her eyes widen with recognition. “Wait. Not like—”
“Like the head coach for the Porcupines.” I exhale sharply. “Yeah.”
Her brows shoot to her hairline, gaze flicking between my eyes, just as disbelieving as I was.
“What did she want?” she asks.