Thirty Nine #3
I swallow again, my throat tight, trying to keep my composure. “She—” I breathe, steadying myself, and lock eyes with her. “She just offered me a spot on the roster. There was a major injury on the team, and the player isn’t coming back next season.”
My voice comes out lower than I intend, like I’m ashamed to admit it. Like I’ve done something wrong. Like hey, I’m sorry I flew too close to the sun and now I’m being asked to play on the team that you had ripped right out from under you. My bad.
“Wait, wait, wait,” Darcy says, shaking her head like that will suddenly piece everythign together. “You’re not saying that you were just offered a spot on the Porcupines?”
I nod.
“Woah,” she breathes, collapsing onto the bench beside us. I follow her down, sinking into the worn wood, which groans beneath our weight.
“Yeah,” I breathe. “Woah.”
I open my mouth to apologize, to tell her I’ll turn it down, that no contract is worth risking what we have. But I don’t even get the words out before she lets out an electric shriek so high-pitched, I nearly tumble off the bench, startled.
Those ivy eyes are wild with excitement as she leans forward, knuckles going pale as she grips the edge of her seat.
“Well?” she asks breathlessly. “What did you say?!”
I clear my throat, a nasty infestation of nerves still crawling under my skin.
“I—I told her I’d think about it.” I shrug. Like that’s an everyday occurrence. Like it’s normal to get the opportunity of a lifetime, something that could make your career, and say that you’ll “think about it”.
Her face falls, a crease etching between her strawberry brows. “You what?!”
“It’s a huge decision, Darcy. I mean, if I take it, my NCAA status is gone. And if they don’t sign me after the season, I’m pretty much screwed. Plus, there’s Harlowe and Bailey and—”
Darcy cuts me off, her eyes narrowing suspiciously, like she can see right through me.
Which, you know, she can.
“Pine trees,” she says calmly.
I blink. “What?”
“You said you didn’t want to move to California because there weren’t enough pine trees.
And it was too far from your family. And you liked the rain.
” She crosses her arms. “But Portland’s rainy.
And piney. And it’s not all that far. And you never worried about your NCAA status when you were trying to get drafted by the Sabertooths.
So why is that suddenly such a problem?”
“Because I feel like an asshole!” I admit, tossing my hands up. “You had this job in your hands and had it ripped away from you. I don’t want to—I can’t do that to you. I feel terrible, Darcy. And I don’t want you to pretend like you’re okay with watching it happen if you aren’t.”
She stares at me, her arms tucked over her GU crewneck, red brows furrowed.
“I mean sure, it sucks. But it doesn’t suck any less to watch you take it. It would suck a thousand times more if you didn’t take it.” She sighs, her hand finding mine, grip tightening. Her eyes begin to gloss over, and she sniffs.
“Look at me. The only reason it sucks is because I lost the lottery. And the truth is, if this call came from any other team in the Pacific Northwest, you’d have taken it without another thought.
Don’t make yourself smaller to make me feel better.
It doesn’t make me feel better. I want you to move mountains.
Break records. You can’t do that by giving up these opportunities. ”
I swipe a tear from her cheek, letting it dissolve into my hand. “You’re crying,” I say softly, heart breaking at the sight of her.
“They’re happy tears.” She sniffles, offering a weak smile. But it doesn’t fool me.
“They’re not just happy tears,” I murmur, wiping another drop away. “And I’m not going to pretend they are.”
“They are, Peyton,” she insists, a watery laugh escaping her. “I’m so happy for you.”
I wrap my arms around her, needing her close. I breathe in her perfume, the warmth of her body pressing into mine.
“You can be happy for me and sad for you,” I say gently. “That’s allowed.”
Darcy’s teary eyes lift to meet mine, and this time, a stronger smile breaks through.
“I’m not letting you make this about me,” she says firmly, though more tears follow, tracing the soft lines of her heart-shaped face.
I kiss her forehead, then meet her gaze.
“It’s not. It’s about us. You and me. And yeah, I want to take it. But I’m not going to make that decision without factoring you in. You’re always a factor, Darcy.”
She leans in until her forehead rests against mine.
“You’re always a factor too,” she whispers. Her lips brush mine, then she pulls me into a kiss.
“You’re going to take it,” she whispers against my skin.
My hand finds her cheek, cupping it gently.
“Okay,” I say. “I’m going to take it.” I pause, then pull back just enough to flash her a teasing smile. “You know this means you’re a WAG, right?”
She blinks. “Wait, what?”
I shrug. “Rules are rules. You’re totally a WAG.”
She rolls her eyes. “Does the PWHL even have WAGs?”
I raise a brow, grinning. “I’m pretty sure the PWHL only has WAGs.”
She stares at me for a beat, then we both burst out laughing.