Chapter 20
TWENTY
COLE
After I put Jules’s bag in the trunk of the cab, I close the lid and turn to her. She’s completely shaken and seems lost, which doesn’t make it easier for me to let her leave.
"Are you sure you don’t want me to come?"
She nods while looking at her phone to check the details of her flight. "Yes. I’ll be fine. And you need to stay with Sophie."
"I don’t like that… How do you know it’s really her?"
Finally, she lifts her gaze and pockets her phone. "It is her, Cole. I can just feel it."
I snort dismissively, averting my eyes and shoving my hands into my pockets.
Her arms wrap around my waist before she presses her face against my chest. She always does this when I’m angry with her or when she wants something from me. And just like every other time, it has the desired effect and makes me soften.
Returning the embrace, I kiss the crown of her head. "Text me as soon as you land. And call if anything happens. No matter what, understood?"
"I will," she murmurs into the fabric of my shirt. "You take care of Sophie, okay? She needs you."
I just nod, at a loss for words. Then I release her and watch her get into the cab, waving to me one last time as the car drives off. Only when it disappears behind a bend do I turn away.
When I arrive back at my place and climb the last few steps, Sophie rises from the couch and gives me a questioning look.
I realize that she has no idea what is going on because we immediately went to Jules’s place so she could pack while I booked a flight and called the cab.
Still, I head for the kitchen to get the Jack I desperately need right now. "Give me a second."
After sitting down on the couch and taking a big gulp, I take a deep breath before looking at Sophie. "Did she tell you how we met?"
Shaking her head, she sits back down. "No."
"Fuck… Where do I even begin?" I say the words to myself rather than to her before taking another sip. Then I sink against the back of the couch and just start.
"I was sixteen when I ran away. My foster parents were assholes and made it abundantly clear that I was unwanted." I look into her light brown eyes. "So I felt the same way you did. I just had to get out of there."
Sophie returns my gaze with a hint of gratitude before asking her first question. "Where did you go?"
I look ahead again. In doing so, however, I don’t see what’s in front of me, but everything I’ve left behind. "Detroit. The first year was… shitty. But I had a roof over my head and could do whatever the fuck I wanted."
"What about your real parents? Why didn’t you go to them?"
Shrugging, I look back at her. "They gave me away when I was a baby. It was clear they didn’t want me, so why bother with them?"
Sophie’s expression turns sad. "That’s terrible."
Again, I avert my gaze. "I told you, life’s not always fair. But I didn’t care. All that mattered to me was that I didn’t have to live in that damn house anymore. Until I found Jules."
Memories of that day flicker in my mind and make me shake my head with a slight grin.
"I was on my way to my place when I saw her sitting at a bus stop. It was cold as fuck outside, and she didn’t even have a jacket with her. Her lips were already blue. She was just fifteen, but her foster family—the third in six months—didn’t get along with her very well, so she ran away."
Sophie gasps. "But why?"
Lifting my gaze, I shrug again, smiling at her.
"You know Jules by now. She’s got a damn loose mouth.
And it was much worse back then. She was sassy as hell and just screwed everything up.
None of the families put up with her for more than a few months, and once she got kicked out again, she got tired of being passed around, too. "
I take another sip from my whiskey before continuing.
"This little brat was sitting there all alone, freezing her ass off, so I went up to her and asked if everything was okay. But instead of being thankful, she gave me hell and told me to piss off."
I laugh briefly because I hear her words as if it were yesterday, but spare Sophie the insults that Jules had hurled at me.
"She didn’t even want my damn jacket, so I moved on. I didn’t make it twenty yards before she followed me. And that was it. She's been with me ever since."
Sophie is silent for a while. She has her legs tucked under her body and is staring down at her hands while she looks so dejected that I want to slap myself for telling her all this. "How did you… I mean… What did you eat? How did you…"
"Survive?" I finish the question for her because she can’t seem to think of the right word.
Lifting her head, she nods.
"Most of the time, we stole what we needed. Well… I did. I never let Jules do it. She got super mad about it, but those were the rules. I take care of the food and a place to sleep, and she doesn’t run away. Later, I… did other things."
Curiosity flickers in Sophie’s eyes. "What kind of things?"
"Doesn’t matter," I reply in a flat voice because I don’t want to talk about the shit I’ve done.
She lowers her eyes while the silence between us extends. When she begins to speak again, she sounds almost cautious. "So that’s why you were so angry when I ran away?"
Sighing loudly, I take another sip before answering. "I wasn’t angry. I was worried about you. Anything could have happened to you, and I would never have forgiven myself if…"
The sentence remains unfinished because I don’t even manage to say it out loud. But it’s the truth, although I didn’t realize it right away that night two days ago. But if something had happened to Sophie, I would have blamed myself. And God knows I already have more than enough on my plate.
The silence that follows my words is heavy, but not uncomfortable. Sophie, too, seems to be lost in her thoughts until her voice pulls me back to the present.
"If Jules does not have parents, how come her mother called her?"
I light a cigarette before answering her question.
"She never knew who her parents were. All she was told was that she was taken away from her mother as a baby. But even though we didn’t talk about it often, it was obvious how much she would have liked to meet her mom.
Unlike me, she missed her. After all, she was taken away from her, not given away by her like I was, you know? "
Sophie nods again.
"Apparently, her mom was looking for her. Or had someone look for her… Who knows?"
Jules instantly agreed to meet her mother, but because a car ride to Chicago takes ages, I booked her a flight without further ado.
Because as much as I care about Jules and hate to let her out of my sight, I could never deny her what she might find there.
She deserves to meet her family. Even if that means I have to let her go for good.
She will always be my little Jules, but I can’t always be the one protecting her and the one she turns to whenever she’s in trouble.
I pour myself a second glass of Jack Daniel’s and empty it in one go.
"She’ll come back, won’t she?"
I don’t even want to think the words, but I say them anyway. "I don’t know."
"Are you going to miss her if she doesn’t?" Sophie asks softly after I’ve been staring at the empty tumbler in my hand for a few minutes.
"Fuck, yeah," I say with a tight throat. "I’m going to miss her like crazy."
Maybe that’s why fate let Sophie get into your truck, says a quiet voice in the back of my head, but I immediately curse it. I shouldn’t be entrusted with anyone by fate. Hell… I don’t even know how I’ve managed to keep Jules safe all these years.
"Cole?" Sophie’s voice snaps me out of my dark thoughts.
"Yeah?"
"May I—"
When she falters, I lift my head to look at her.
Sophie returns my gaze and chews on her lower lip before she straightens her shoulders and starts again. "Can I give you a hug? You look like you could really use one."
Something inside me cracks at her words, which is why I avert my gaze while a soft and broken laugh leaves my throat. "Fuck… You got that from Jules, didn’t you?"
"Yes," Sophie whispers.
I look at her again. Look into her amber eyes that are way too kind to see that I’m not the right company for her. That I’m not the good guy in this story, and most of the time, I have no fucking idea what I’m even doing because I basically haven’t given a shit for three years.
Nodding, I set the tumbler down. "Come here."
She closes the distance between us, kneels beside me on the couch, and wraps her arms around my neck to press herself tentatively against me.
The gesture is so gentle and pure that I almost hate myself even more.
Nevertheless, I return her embrace, burying my face in her hair, closing my eyes, and breathing in her wonderful scent.
"Cole?" she murmurs after some time.
"Hmm?"
"Jules loves you. She’s certainly not going to leave you for good."
I have no idea how she comes up with that, but her words make it hard to breathe.
"Thanks for the hug, darling," I murmur, and Sophie nods at my shoulder. But neither of us lets go.