Chapter 25 Stargazing #2
I got scared when I saw your fucking lookalike at a trafficking house.
"I'm sorry," I mumble, dragging my hand up her shirt.
"Sh, it's okay, let's just go to sleep," her voice wobbles tiredly. I lean up and watch her as her eyes close before placing a single kiss on her temple and drifting off myself.
~~~
?Azalea?
"I love you," I whisper down to Grey who still lays with his head right on my chesticles as he sleeps.
Sure, it's dumb I'm telling him I love him in his sleep. But I need practice.
If I'm leaving, I don't want to go without telling him I love him.
Google Maps told me I'd be moving five hours away. Five whole hours. And I spent the last two days helping mom pack up everything while subtly trying to tell her to get a place closer.
She didn't pick it up.
Maybe I'm overthinking things. I probably think this relationship is more serious than Grey thinks it is. I don't know, maybe he wouldn't really care that much that I'd be moving.
But I would. I really would.
And I cannot leave Mr. Terrip. I couldn't leave Grey either. Or Bear. Oh my gosh, Bear.
Maybe I could just drive back here every other day? Or every two days.
That's a lot of gas though. And I don't have gas money.
And Grey's busy a lot anyway. So he probably wouldn't want to drive five hours to see me.
Or my boobs.
I sigh softly.
"I love you so much," I whisper.
"Hm?" He hums and my eyes bulge out of my head.
"I was just talking to myself," I try to keep my sentence from sounding like a question. On the bright side, there have been a few occasions where Grey has heard me talking to myself.
He kinda just goes along with it, I don't really know how he stays with me because sometimes I can't even deal with myself.
He slowly rises off me and I breathe in the great air that can now enter my lungs.
He grips onto my arm and yanks me up too, I go flying into space. I swear, it's like he wants me to karate chop his jugular.
"Quiet game, ready go," I announce and then shut my mouth. I walk into the bathroom and begin brushing my teeth. I can shut up if something is in my mouth.
That's what she said. Oh my gosh, that sounds like I'm talking about something bad. Well, maybe not bad but just...I don't even know what I'm talking about.
Grey follows suit. I purposefully take extra long when I start brushing my hair. Like one strand at a time slow.
The more I have to focus on, the less likely it is for me to start talking.
And I take this game very seriously.
From the corner of my eye, I see Grey pick up my phone. I ignore it. Maybe he'll take a picture of his muscles and then I can obsess over it later.
He places my phone back down and within a second, sound emits from the speaker. My mouth drops open and he looks over at me, a smirk on his lips.
He's dirty.
He leans over to me and scrunches his nose mockingly like I do sometimes.
My heart fills up knowing that he knows the name of one of my favorite songs. Sure, maybe it's because I play it a ton but he actually remembered the name and that tickles my willy.
I hold myself back for as long as possible.
"She's my cherry pie!" I shout. I embrace my pitiful-ness. I throw my hand back and give Grey's booty a nice 'ole smack.
"Oh yeah," I mimic the Kool-Aid man.
"What'd you have to see your mom for?" he turns his body toward me. I look down at my hands.
Are they powerless or something? Does he have no feeling in his booty cheeks? I hit him hard, why the heck isn't he giving a reaction? Anything like 'ouch Azalea, you hurt my booty' would suffice but it's like I didn't even touch him.
Buns of steel.
"What'd you say?" I hardly even heard him. I think I need to squeeze his butt.
"What'd you have to see your mom for?" he repeats.
Um, how should I do this? Firstly, I would like to tell him I love him before telling him I'm moving. And second, I don't want to do either of them inside a bathroom.
"Has anybody ever told you that you have a wonderful little smile?" I smile up at him. I could tell the funniest joke in the world, as I do all the time, and his lips with turn up at the corners. I laugh enough for both of us. I laugh at my own jokes for him.
"No," he seems unamused. How could someone not compliment his little smiles? They're amazing.
"Well, they should've," I mosey out of the bathroom and away from him. I plop on the floor in the living room with Bear, giving him a nice belly rub when he rolls over dramatically.
I'll really miss Bear. He's like family now.
And I love Grey.
~~~
I wipe my sweaty palms on the fabric of my leggings, staring out the window, watching the trees go by as we drive up the Smokies.
What if he doesn't love me too?
We make it to our spot and Grey removes the top to the Jeep and we both lean our seats back looking up at the stars.
"Grey, we're stargazing," I smile softly. Just like people do in movies. But unlike the people in the movies, I have no clue what I'm looking at. Most of the time, movies have a character that knows where the Milky Way is at.
If we were in my car, my Milky Ways are in the glove compartment.
Sometimes I need a snack.
I look over at him, wanting to see his heavenly side profile but I find him looking at me already. I smile.
"Am I missing my earring?" I question, moving my hand up to feel my ear. It's not missing.
He doesn't say anything.
"Excuse me, are you using your selective-mutism on me?" I cross my arms over my chest and raise my eyebrow at him.
"C'mere," he motions to his lap.
"You want me to climb-"
"Yes so fuckin' come on," he cuts me off. I scrunch my nose at him and climb over the whatever-it's-called-thing in the middle and then finally place myself on his lap. His arms wrap around my lower back and he leans up slightly. I kiss his lips softly.
His hand slips under the back of my shirt and he trails his fingers along my back softly. He picks up the pace, kissing with more urgency.
I feel emotions bubble in my throat, partly because I'm about to start my period and also I'm freaking sad.
Why can't I just have this one thing? It's all I want. I can't be happy when I have to leave him. Why can't I just be happy for more than a couple hours?
I wrap my arms around him and pull myself as close as I can. He bites down on my bottom lip teasingly and I feel his little smile.
I'm gonna cry.
I don't want to go away from that smile. I don't think I could. It doesn't matter if the smile is little.
I can't bring myself to let go.
He pulls away for a split second and kisses my cheek. Then his lips find mine once more in a soft, delicate kiss. Slow and not harsh.
His hand travels further up my back and the other one comes to rest under my jaw, his thumb on my cheek.
After a while, he pulls away. I watch him as he catches his breath, his chest rising and falling.
"Damn," he mumbles, "I need a fuckin' breather after that."
I watch his lips as that smile returns. I feel my chest contract and a feeling come up.
"I love you and I'm leaving you," I blurt the two things I've been keeping in.
God, help me, please.
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Thanks for reading! Next chapter coming soon.
*Not edited*
Word count: 3310
-Ashlyn Montgomery