Chapter 11
Lily felt like death warmed up.
And she desperately had to pee.
Opening her eyes, she glanced around. Urgh, the light felt like it was stabbing her eyeballs.
Her head was thumping so badly that it made her want to vomit. Or maybe that was the taste in her mouth.
Like garbage and rat pee.
Not that she knew what either of those things tasted like. But she imagined it was close to the taste in her mouth.
Had she been drinking? But she wasn’t supposed to drink on her medication. And she’d never been much of a drinker anyway.
If this was what she’d feel like after drinking, then she wasn’t likely to become one either.
Clem seemed to be fond of a creamy liqueur drink.
She was always going on about it. But Lily had never tried it.
Too many empty calories Mother would say.
And that she couldn’t afford to ingest anything extra despite the fact that she kept losing weight.
“Lily? Lily? Are you okay?”
Oh, great. Just to add to her personal hell, Harvey was going to see her like this. He always looked like a gorgeous, sexy god, and she was a total train wreck with rat-pee breath.
“Rat-pee breath? What do you mean by rat-pee breath?”
Oh my God, he’d learned how to read minds? When had that happened?
Harvey let out a small chuckle. She loved when he laughed. It wasn’t fake, like most of the people that she knew. It was a real laugh. Like, he was actually happy.
She wondered what that felt like.
“Happiness?” he asked. “Are you saying you don’t remember what happiness feels like, Lily?”
Damn it, she had to stop thinking. He was getting into her brain. That was a really annoying talent to have.
“Baby, I can’t read your brain. You’re saying everything out loud. Why don’t you remember what happiness feels like, Lily?”
“Because I don’t remember the last time I was ever happy. Have I ever been happy?”
“I’ll make sure you are from now on, mo bhreáthracht,” he told her.
“What does that mean?”
“My beauty.”
She wasn’t beautiful. Maybe after Selena, Mother’s maid, had done her hair and makeup she was passable, but definitely not beautiful.
She didn’t take after her mother. She took after her father’s side. And as her mother liked to tell her, there were no beauties in that family.
“You are beautiful, and we’re going to erase everything your mother ever told you, every single lie.”
Lily shook her head, and then she groaned as that movement sent pain vibrating through her brain. He had to stop reading her mind.
“I don’t think my head has ever hurt so bad,” she whimpered.
“Poor baby. Is it still really bad? I’ll get Michaela up here, see if there are some strong painkillers we can give you. And then you can explain the rat-pee breath.”
“I think it’s self-explanatory,” she said. “I really need some toothpaste, a toothbrush, and working legs to get to the bathroom. Have you got my pills yet?”
He grew silent, opening his mouth, then closing it. As though he didn’t quite know what to say. That wasn’t like Harvey.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” she asked, feeling concerned.
Panic started to flare.
“Were you not able to get my pills? I need them, though. I’m sick without them.”
“Listen to me, Lily.” He sat next to her on the bed and cupped the side of her face. Oh, shoot. She hoped he didn’t get too close, or he was going to be taken out by the rat-pee breath for sure. She was certain it was lethal.
She shied away from him, and he snatched back his hand. “Are you afraid of me?”
“No, I’m scared that you’re going to be knocked unconscious by the rat-pee breath.”
He shook his head, giving her a slightly exasperated look. “I don’t care about your breath, baby. We’ve got more important things to talk about.”
Lily didn’t like the sound of that. She wasn’t sure she felt up to discussing important things. Her brain still felt like someone was using it as a conga drum.
“You’re not ill, baby, and you don’t need that medication.”
Great. This was the last argument she wanted to have with him right now, but he didn’t know what she could be like without her medication.
“I am,” she said. “Did you get my pills?”
“I did. I had one of my men go in and grab your handbag.”
That meant she not only had her pills, but also her phone and ID.
Wait, what did he mean, one of his men?
He was a lawyer, right? How did he have men? Unless he was talking about his assistant, but it hadn’t sounded like that. And how would an assistant gain access to her house to get her handbag?
“I need my handbag.”
“I want to give you everything you need,” he told her. “But I’m not giving you that, and I’m definitely not giving you those pills.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Harvey.” She pushed herself up so she was sitting. She had to grab her head for a moment, rubbing at it as the pain grew more intense. Her stomach rolled nauseously.
“Okay, I see this is the wrong time for this conversation, but just know that you’ve been lied to, baby.
You don’t need that medication, and you’re not ill, at least, not in the way you seem to think you are.
You’re low in iron, underweight and your nutrition needs some work to get you in fighting shape. ”
What was he talking about? She didn’t understand. And she wished he would listen to her, but then there was a knock on the door, and Michaela walked in.
Urgh, she looked all put-together while Lily was a total mess. She found herself trying to pat down her matted hair and hoping the woman couldn’t smell her breath from where she stood.
“Hi Lily, how are you feeling this morning?” Michaela walked over and started taking her vitals.
“I really want to brush my teeth and have a shower.”
“I bet,” the other woman said with a look of sympathy. “I can unhook the IV now, if you like?”
“Thank you.”
She did the same thing as when Michaela put the IV in and turned to stare at Harvey. Although he was way too close.
“Watch the rat-pee breath,” she warned.
“You don’t have rat-pee breath,” he told her sternly.
“There, all done,” Michaela said.
Oh, thank God.
“I need to use the bathroom,” she told Harvey.
He nodded and drew back the covers of the bed. She noticed she was wearing a T-shirt that wasn’t her size. Was this one of his?
Had he put her in it?
He lifted her into his arms. She wanted to question him, but she also didn’t want to do it in front of Michaela. He must have realized what she was thinking though.
“You vomited on yourself and the bed so I put you in the shower. I kept your underwear on. I promise I didn’t look when I got you changed.”
She hated that she couldn’t remember that.
But she didn’t say anything as he carried her into the bathroom and sat her down on the closed lid of the toilet. Then he just stood there.
Her bladder urgently protested the need to pee, but she wasn’t doing it in front of him.
“Can you give me a moment?” she said to him.
Harvey frowned and crossed his arms over his chest, giving her an arrogant look. Oh, great. She knew what that look meant. He didn’t want to budge.
And he was stubborn. Lily was used to dealing with stubborn people. She usually just gave them whatever they wanted, but she really didn’t want to pee in front of him.
“I need some privacy, Harvey. Do you know how often my privacy has been taken from me without my permission?”
He pointed at her with a sigh. “If you fall over, I’m not going to be happy. Be careful. Call out if you need me.”
Then he moved to the counter and opened the cupboard, drawing out a toothbrush and toothpaste.
He left, and Lily let out a sigh. She slipped off her underwear and used the toilet before washing up. Then she got to brush her teeth and get rid of the rat-pee breath. That was a relief that she couldn’t explain.
Finally, she knew that she had to leave the safety of the bathroom and head out into the bedroom. Her legs were shaking a little by this stage, and she moved carefully so she didn’t fall over. When she opened the bathroom door, he was immediately there, scooping her up into his arms.
“You should have called me if you were feeling shaky,” he told her.
Then he carried her over to the bed where Michaela waited.
“Lily, how are you really feeling?” Michaela asked.
“My head is thumping, and I feel exhausted, even though I’ve done nothing. My stomach keeps rolling, and I don’t know why. I need my medicine. I’m not very well. Did it come up on the blood test you took?”
“Did what come up?” Michaela asked.
“What’s wrong with me,” she explained. “Did the blood test tell you, or do I need other tests?”
“What did they tell you was wrong with you, Lily?” Michaela asked.
“The doctor said there was something wrong with my nervous system.”
Yeah, that was right. Her nervous system.
“I wasn’t able to regulate it myself and the pills were meant to help.”
“What happened if you didn’t take the pills, Lily?” Michaela asked.
“If I don’t take my medication, I get out of control. I can’t stop myself from lashing out and hurting others.”
Michaela’s expression didn’t change, but she sensed that the other woman didn’t really agree with what she’d said.
“Right. And did you ever hurt somebody?” Michaela asked.
“Yes. Yes, I did.”
“Who?” Harvey asked as he stood at the end of the bed, his arms crossed over his chest. There was no smile on his face as he stared down at her. Had she upset him? Should she keep answering their questions if he wasn’t very happy?
Michaela turned to look at Harvey. “You might want to take it down a notch. You’re scaring her.”
Scaring her? Was he scaring her? Maybe a little bit.
She was surprised that Michaela would say something to him though. She wasn’t used to anyone sticking up for her. Rick would never have done that.
He’d never really cared about anyone but himself, had he? God, why had she agreed to marry him?
It was what Mother wanted.
Right. That was right. But why did she have to do what her mother wanted?
“I think it was my mother. I think I hurt my mother.”