Chapter 14
Lily woke up with a scream rattling through her chest.
She shied back, trying to protect herself from the invisible hands wrapping around her throat. But there was no one there. The room she was in was dark, but it felt like she was alone.
Where was Mother? Where did she go, and where was Lily right now?
Suddenly the door slammed open, and she let out another blood-chilling scream as she scrambled off the side of the bed then crawled underneath.
She remembered. She remembered.
How had she forgotten that?
Her mother had Rick tell Clem that they’d been having an affair behind her back.
How could she do that?
To her own daughters? And what had happened after that? Why couldn’t she remember?
She smacked the palm of her hand against her forehead as though trying to sort out the memories in her brain. Why couldn’t she remember?
“Lily? Lily, what’s wrong? What happened?”
Who was that? It took a moment for her brain to register Harvey’s voice.
Harvey. She was in the cabin with Harvey.
He’d taken her from her mother’s house. He’d rescued her from that bitch. How had she thought she was better off living with her mother? That she had to marry Rick to keep her mother happy? Why did she stay? Why? Why?
Had other things happened like that? Other things that she couldn’t remember?
It was utterly terrifying to realize that she had such big gaps in her memory. She’d always been somebody who would try to appease others. But marrying a cheating, lying bastard like Rick was a step too far.
And what about the incident where she’d hurt her mother?
She’d smashed up her mother’s study, right?
Except, was that a memory, or was that something that had been planted? Because that’s what Devil’s Breath did, right? It could make her highly suggestible to what people told her.
Had everything been a lie?
This was too much. She started to sob.
“Lily, are you in pain? Are you hurt?”
There was clear worry in Harvey’s voice which managed to cut through the fear and panic. She still didn’t really understand why he wanted her?
“H-Harvey?” she managed to get out between chattering teeth. “W-where are y-you?”
“Open your eyes, baby. I’m right here. I’m right here.”
Opening her eyes, she realized that he must have turned the light on because she could see him quite clearly.
There was concern on his face as he reached his hand toward her. She shied back, thinking he was going to grab her and try to pull her out from under the bed, and she wasn’t sure she was ready to leave.
But he just held his hand there, waiting patiently. “Take my hand, baby. Let me help you.”
“I still don’t understand why you want to.”
“I want to help you because you’re going to be mine, because you deserve someone looking after you, mo bhreáthracht. You deserve everything. So take my hand and let me be that person.”
But could she believe him? Right now, she wasn’t sure that she could believe what anyone told her.
And she knew they couldn’t have forever together.
You didn’t have forever with your kidnapper, did you?
But right now, she just needed him. She needed his care and attention.
So she reached out and took hold of his hand. He squeezed hers slightly.
“Oh baby, you’re so cold. What happened? Why did you scream? Did you have a nightmare?”
“Uh-huh.” She let out a sob, nodding.
“Oh, baby, you poor thing. Can you come out of there and tell me what it was about?”
“I don’t know.”
“You know, I never realized how dirty it was under this bed. I’m feeling a bit embarrassed. So maybe you could come out, so I don’t have to wonder if you’re going to end up with dust bunnies in your ears.”
She nearly smiled. Dust bunnies in her ears?
That sounded like something her sister would say.
“You don’t want those dust bunnies bouncing around inside your ears, now do you?” he asked.
“Dust bunnies aren’t real,” she told him.
He gasped dramatically. “What? What are you talking about? Of course, dust bunnies are real. They’re made out of dust and they bounce around underneath the bed, creating a huge mess. And I really think that you need to come out of there before they get upset at you saying they’re not real.”
She rolled her eyes at his silliness.
But she still found herself sliding out from under the bed. He sat back on his bottom and drew her onto his lap, wrapping her up tight in his embrace.
Oh, God. This shouldn’t feel so good. It really shouldn’t. But she couldn’t deny that her body instantly started to relax in his hold, and a feeling of safety moved through her.
“You’re okay. I have you. You’re safe. I’m not going to let anyone harm you.”
He rocked her gently back and forth and she buried her face into his chest, breathing in deeply.
“What happened, baby? You had a nightmare?”
She nodded. She wasn’t sure that she was ready to talk about it.
Lily wasn’t sure if she’d ever be ready to talk about it.
He stood with her in his arms and sat on the end of the bed. Maybe she should try and get off his lap but it was just so comfortable here.
“Will you tell me what it was about? It must have been pretty scary for you to scream and hide under the bed.”
It had been absolutely terrifying. Because it hadn’t really been a dream, had it?
“I don’t think it was a dream so much as a memory.”
“A memory?” he asked. “What happened in this memory?
“I . . . I don’t know that I really want to talk about it,” she said. “It wasn’t very nice.”
That was putting it mildly.
“Sometimes, those are the things we most need to talk about. To get them out of our head, to give them to someone else, so they’re not so scary. You tell me, and then that takes some of the burden off you.”
“And gives it to you?” she asked.
What if it wasn’t real, though? What if she had dreamed it up? How would she know the difference?
You know, deep down, you know that this was what happened. And you need to stop disillusioning yourself. You need to start facing reality.
“I can take it,” he replied. “I’ve got big shoulders and that’s what I’m here for. Tell me.”
That was what he was here for? She wasn’t sure she agreed. And if they were going to do this relationship, then he would have to lean on her too.
Wait.
What?
What was she thinking? Did she really just think about them being in a relationship?
Because that wasn’t happening. They weren’t in a relationship, and they weren’t going to be.
She really was falling under his spell, wasn’t she? She had to guard herself against his potency.
“Tell me, Mo bhreáthracht. I’m not going to give up until you do. And trust me, you will definitely feel better once you do.”
Should she tell him about it?
It might help to get it out and off her brain. It was still there, swirling around in her head. So she relayed how her mother called her into her study to tell her that she was going to date Rick. How she’d be marrying him.
“And she really thought you were just going to do what she wanted?”
“She really did. But they had a backup plan in case I refused. Which I did. She had him . . . she had him . . .”
“She had him what, baby?” he asked gently.
“Tell Clem that we’d been sleeping together.”
Oh, God. She felt sick. Her stomach was tied up in a knot, and it just hurt so bad.
“What the fuck?” he asked. “They lied to Clem about that?”
“Yeah, I still told her that I wasn’t going to do it. I tried to walk out of there, but she, well, she . . . I don’t know what she did. Then the dream ended.”
“Fuck, baby. I am so sorry. They’re both going to pay for what they did to you.”
“And to Clem. But how? I mean, I guess they are kind of paying now. You said that my mother is in trouble with the police for trying to scare Clem into selling her land. And she has no money. For someone like my mother . . . that would be worse than dying. Being broke and arrested.”
“It’s still not enough. She needs to live a life of utter misery. And so does Rick.”
Lily couldn’t help but agree. Rick deserved something more. They both did. But she wasn’t sure what she could do to them.
“I don’t understand why she was so insistent that I marry him. She said that I was a better choice for someone on their way to the White House. She really wanted that. But was it worth all of this?”
“I guess she thought that would make her more powerful,” he said.
“She told me my father was meant to make a run for the White House but then he grew ill and couldn’t. I guess she was living that through me. But I still don’t understand it.”
“It’s because you’re not an evil bitch,” he told her.
“Why do you suppose Rick agreed to it? He never seemed to care about me, and he just jumped from Clem to me. Why didn’t he want someone he could love?”
“I doubt that Rick is capable of love,” he told her. “And there was obviously some deal made.”
“Mother is broke and so is Rick’s family, so it can’t have been about money?”
“But remember, neither of them seemed to know about the other’s financial woes. They kept it quiet. Your mother probably thought that marrying you off to Rick would settle her finances, as well as putting you in a position of power, which meant that she would be in power.”
Right, because her mother was easily able to manipulate her due to the drugs she’d been given.
How could her own mother be so evil?
“Rick’s family’s financial issues have come about slowly over the past year or so.”
“Did he tell you that?” she asked.
“No, he didn’t tell me. I have some insider knowledge. Rick has developed quite the gambling addiction. And his father likes special massages. Not that the massages ate away at his fortune, but buying off people who knew about them so he could keep his clean image did.”
“What if all of this was just a dream, though? How do I tell what is real and what is make believe? I can’t believe I forgot all of this.”
“Remember that Devil’s Breath can cause amnesia. And it can alter your memories.”
God, she hated this so much. It was terrifying.
“It’s so scary. What else am I missing?” A shudder of fear ran through her as she tried to search for memories, but her head began to ache.