18. Sebastian
Chapter eighteen
Sebastian
“What should we do now?” Wes asks from where he’s sprawled out on Holt’s couch, bare feet propped on the coffee table.
We just finished the meal Holt had catered of grilled salmon, scallops, roasted Brussels sprouts, and wild rice followed by a fruit salad. Not the most exciting, but it is the middle of the season, and we have to stick to our meal plans.
Before anyone can make a suggestion, Hazel lets out a cry.
“Shit. I thought she’d sleep through the entire evening,” Holt says, getting to his feet.
“Haze is here?” Wes asks, getting up too.
“No,” Holt tells him. “She needs to go back to sleep. Not get up and play.”
“Ahhh man …” Wes protests.
Holt shakes his head and makes his way upstairs.
“I should probably check on Mads, make sure Tate isn’t giving her any trouble.” Hunter holds up his phone, waving it around.
“Where’s your daughter?” I ask Brody. His daughter, Abby, is a little older than Tate.
“Home with the nanny. She stays late one or two evenings a month so Aubs and I can have a date night.” He smiles at the mention of his best friend who is now his wife.
I don’t know all of their story since I wasn’t on the team when they got together, but from what I heard, it was inevitable.
Something about him pretending to be her boyfriend for her sister’s wedding.
Whatever happened, it worked out for them.
“That’s nice,” I tell him.
“How are things going with you and Sutton?” Wes asks, leaning toward me.
I raise an eyebrow. “Fine. Why?”
“Just wondered if things had progressed.”
“I told you, I’m doing this to help her out.”
“Right. Right,” he says. “Sure.” I narrow my eyes at the clearly sarcastic way he’s talking but don’t take the bait.
“Look who’s decided to join the party,” Holt says, walking down the stairs holding Hazel.
“Haze, girl. Want to come to your favorite uncle?” Wes holds out his hands.
She giggles and claps her hands as Holt hands her over, and it’s like a punch to my gut.
Not because of the relationship Wes and Hazel have or how she clearly adores him but because I want that, and maybe one day I will have that, but I want it now, with Sutton.
I rub a hand over my chest, swallowing and averting my eyes.
“You alright?” Elias asks.
Hunter comes strolling back into the room, and I don’t have a chance to answer.
“How’s Tate?” Brody asks.
“Mads says he’s fine. Sleeping.” He shifts back and forth on his feet. “So what’s the plan?”
Holt shrugs. “Don’t have a plan. We could watch a movie. Have a fire.”
“Now here me out,” Hunter says, and I scoff. “What about if we go to my place and have a fire there?”
“But we’d be crashing the ladies’ party,” Elias points out.
Hunter turns to him. “That’s kind of the point.”
“I do miss Hads,” Wes adds.
Elias groans. “I thought this was a guys’ night.”
“Ansley’s there.” Wes elbows Elias. “Now’s your chance.”
Elias scoffs. “Chance for what exactly?”
“Seriously?” Wes asks, glancing around probably looking for someone to agree with him but none of us take the bait.
“So, are we going or not?” Hunter asks.
“Let’s go,” Holt says, getting to his feet and reaching for his daughter.
“Are we sure they won’t be mad we’re crashing their party?” I ask. “They may not want us there.”
Although if I’m being honest, I do miss Sutton and wouldn’t mind spending time with her.
“I miss my fiancée, and I’m sure she misses me. I’m going.” Wes stands up.
“What he said, except I miss my wife,” Hunter says.
“It’s settled.” Holt gestures for us to follow him.
I send Sutton a quick text, someone’s gotta warn them, and after a little discussion, we decide to walk since Holt lives down the street from Hunter, so once the stroller has been acquired for Hazel, we set off.
“How are you doing?” Brody asks, coming up to walk next to me, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans.
“Are you asking as my coach or as a friend?”
It’s always been a weird situation for me with him.
I joined the team after he’d already retired, so I don’t have the same relationship with him that a lot of the other guys, who played with him for years, do.
I never know how to act around him when we’re in friend mode, because I only know him as one of our assistant coaches.
Brody shakes his head. “A friend. Although I admit I can’t necessarily turn off the coach part.”
I bob my head. “I’m alright.”
He lowers his voice. “I probably shouldn’t be asking this.
” The hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
He pauses, putting his hand on my arm to stop me too.
When the rest of the guys are a little farther ahead of us, he speaks.
“Your contract is up at the end of the season, but you haven’t signed a new one. Any particular reason why?”
I shift back and forth. Leave it to him to know. To notice. I need to get everything settled. Tell my agent. Make an official announcement about my retirement. But I’m beginning to not want to go back home for good. Maybe I’ve always felt this way, and that’s why I haven’t made it official.
“Nope.”
“You can talk to me, you know?” He tips his head back, looking up at the moon. “I know you’ve got all of them, but I’ve been where you are.”
I crinkle my forehead. “Where’s that?”
“In love with a woman and pretending not to be.” He meets my eyes, grinning. “Wondering whether your career is going to continue or if this is the end of the road for you. If you should keep playing, and maybe that’s not the case for you, but it sure seems like something is going on.”
I blink a few times. How does he know? How does he do it?
“You guys coming?” Elias calls.
“We should go.” Brody shoves his hands back into his pockets and starts walking again.
“My family needs me back home,” I finally admit, falling in step with him.
He’s silent for a beat. “Your family here needs you too, and I don’t just mean them.” He gestures to the guys in front of us. “You should think about what you want and not what you think you need to do out of obligation.”
“How did you? How?” I stutter.
He chuckles, tapping a finger to his forehead. “Call it intuition.”
“Bloody hell,” I mumble.
“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me,” he says as we turn up the driveway and catch up with the rest of the group. Hunter unlocks the front door, and we file inside.
“Surprise,” Hunter announces when we make our way into the living room.
“Are you crashing ladies’ night?” Becca asks with mock outrage, crossing her arms and glaring at us, but I notice the way her lip is twitching, like she’s holding back a smile.
The guys beeline for their woman as I search the room for Sutton.
“She’s upstairs,” Madison says, gesturing for me to follow her.
“Is she okay?” I ask as we climb the stairs.
“I think so.” She peers at me over her shoulder. “She’s a little overwhelmed. I’m sure it’s just pregnancy.” She knocks on one of the doors at the end of the hallway before pushing it open. “Look who I found.”
My heart squeezes when I see Sutton reclining on the bed, her eyes red rimmed.
“I’ll be downstairs if you need me,” Madison says.
I close the door behind me and walk over to the bed.
“You alright, love?” I ask.
She runs a hand over her face. “This is embarrassing.”
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. What can I do?” Does she need a drink? Something to eat? To go home?
“N-nothing,” she mutters.
“Come here.” I open my arms, and she gets off the bed and lets me hold her. “What’s going on? What can I do?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Of course it’s something. You’re upset.” I run a hand down her back and notice the deep breath she takes, as if she can finally breathe properly again now that I’m here. Which is ridiculous. It’s just a coincidence.
She shakes her head, and I wrap my arms tighter around her. Not sure what else I can do. I love that she lets me hold her like this, comfort her. I want to do this and so much more for her. If only she’d let me.
“Holly found out I was pregnant tonight. She and her fiancé have been trying to have a baby for a while, and they haven’t been able to.”
Oh. I hate that for them, and I hate that Sutton’s this upset about her friend finding out she’s pregnant.
“I’m sorry for them. That’s gotta be tough.”
She nods against me. “And here I am, pregnant when I wasn’t even trying. Hell, I was actively trying not to get pregnant, and what happened? I got pregnant. From a random night of sex. I feel so guilty.”
I rub small circles on her back. “There’s nothing to feel guilty about. It’s not an either or situation.”
She looks up at me. “What do you mean?”
“It’s not a you or Holly gets pregnant thing, as in it’s not like the reason Holly can’t get pregnant is because you are.”
“I know, but I feel bad. You should have seen how she looked when she found out.” She shakes her head. “Life’s so unfair.”
“I know, love. I know.” I pull her back against my chest.
“I am such a bad friend. I feel like an idiot. It just slipped out, and I …”
“You’re not a bad friend. You can’t control how she feels.
You might have to accept that she needs space or that your friendship is a little strained for a while.
Because it might be hard for her to see you pregnant.
But you couldn’t have hidden the entire pregnancy from her. She’d have found out eventually.”
“I know. I just don’t know what to do.”
“Give her time and space if that’s what she needs to process her feelings.”
“Thank you for listening.”
“Of course.” I rub her back some more. “Do you want to stay up here? Go downstairs? Go home? Hunter and Holt were talking about having a bonfire.”
She pulls away from me, and as much as I don’t want to let her go, I do. She wipes her face. “I want to go hang out with our friends for a while longer.”
I hold out my hand for her. “Let’s go then.”
She lets me lead her out of the room and downstairs where we spend the rest of the night with our friends, laughing and talking around the fire.