11. Her Ghost
Oliver
It was four in the morning, and I was sitting in an empty cafe with a creature that had introduced himself to me as Death.
I never thought that I’d sit at a table with Death, but then again, no one ever thought that.
But here I was, in Creature Cafe, seated in a booth across from a being that made my very soul shiver. And yet, there was a gentleness about them. For all of the terrible things I’d heard and all the fear they’d caused, I wasn’t truly afraid of Death.
I couldn’t really see their face. When I tried to look at them, they were nothing more than a blurred shadow.
“I’m sure you could have had a meeting with the Barista,” I said. “Without kidnapping me.”
A soft chuckle left them. “My agent is not happy to see me. Well, neither of them are. I needed to draw them here. I apologize for removing you forcefully.”
“And scaring me in the middle of the night.” He’d scared the fuck out of me after I’d nearly cried myself to sleep, which was mortifying on several different levels. Steel had left a piece of clothing in my room, and I’d been cuddled up with it as if it were a baby blanket.
“That too. My apologies.”
I nodded, glancing up and out the window. The rain dripped down the glass, the clouds darker than I’d ever seen them. The thing was, while I had been technically kidnapped, Death did not frighten me.
“You wish to ask me something.”
I hesitated, but Death was right. “My wife. When she passed, I wasn’t .
. . I wasn’t there for her. I hadn’t slept in four days and my daughters needed me.
We took a break. I went out to my car to call them and I fell asleep in the backseat.
I . . .” My throat tightened, my voice faltering as tears blurred my vision.
I dragged in a breath, sniffling. “I don’t know how you work.
You’re not a monster, you’re not a god, but you talk like a human.
Were you there? Was something there? Or do humans just die and turn into nothing? ”
Death’s face appeared clearly, and they—he? I wasn’t sure but their face was very handsome—gave me a sad smile. “You may ask her.”
What? Something soft touched my shoulder, a hand. I spun around and went still as I stared up at her.
A sob broke me but before I got up, she slid into the booth next to me, her arms sliding around me. “It’s okay,” she whispered.
It wasn’t okay. I couldn’t even find the right words, I had so much to say and nothing was coming out, nothing was coming up. “I don’t understand,” I cried. “I don’t understand.”
Alia smiled and wiped away my tears. “Death is friendly. I can’t tell you how it works, but it will be okay, Oli. I promise.”
“I love you. I miss you. But I . . .”
Her smile softened and she leaned over, kissing my forehead. “You’ve found happiness again, and that is all I ever wanted for you. Steel is yours just as much as I was.”
“I wasn’t there,” I whispered, everything breaking.
“You were there,” she said gently. “You were there for days by my side. You kept our daughters together. You finished raising them and you did a damn good job.”
I leaned into her, my head spinning. I’d needed to hear this for so long, but when it was all on me, there wasn’t anyone there to tell me that yes, I did the thing. I did the hardest fucking thing and I survived it.
“Thank you,” I said. “I miss you every day.”
“I know. But now you’re not alone, are you?”
“No,” I whispered, smiling as I thought about Steel. “No, I’m not alone.”
Her hand slid into mine and she gave me a gentle squeeze. “I’ve got to go. I can’t stay on this side for long. But I love you, Oli. Tell our girls I love them.”
I nodded, holding her tight. “I will. I love you.”
I love you. And then I felt her slowly fade, the weight of her presence disappearing, my arms feeling nothing but emptiness. I stared at where she had just been, feeling as if I’d lost her all over again. My body trembled as more tears fell, and I let out another sob.
“It’s not fair,” I cried.
“Life hardly ever is.”
I buried my face in my hands, crying even as I felt the invisible weight that’d been holding me down for years slowly lift.
For so long, I’d been doing the best I could and I hadn’t stopped for myself because I couldn’t.
I wasn’t able to. It was easier to bury myself in my work and being a father than giving myself any sort of kindness.
Because how was I supposed to stand in the silence without her voice to break it?
“Oli!”
“Don’t worry, human. Your mate is here,” Death said gently.
The door to the cafe burst open hard enough that the hinges snapped. I looked up, but then Steel was right in front of me, his arms wrapping around me.
I buried my face against the curve of his neck, unable to keep myself together anymore. Not that I’d been doing a good job of it. His hold on me tightened as I shattered against him.
“What did you do to him?” Steel rasped. “What happened? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I said, my voice breaking. “Everything is all right now.”
He lifted me out of the booth and I held onto him with every ounce of strength I had left. Steel let out a low, protective growl.
“I promise I did not harm him,” Death said patiently. “He simply spoke with his wife one more time. They had unfinished business, and I was able to help.”
Steel stiffened. “What? How?”
Death didn’t answer, but they didn’t need to.
I finally looked up at Steel and cupped his face. “I’m okay,” I whispered. “I’m okay. I’ll be okay. I think we can go.”
“You cannot leave until the Barista and Lucifer appear,” Death said.
“They’ll be here any moment,” Steel said. “But we are not strong enough to withstand a fight between the three of you. We need to leave.”
“There would be no fight. Where do you think their power comes from?”
Their nonchalance scared the shit out of me. Maybe I had been seated across from a monster.
Steel swallowed hard, his gaze dropping to mine. “Are you okay?” he whispered.
“I will be,” I exhaled. “I saw her. I don’t know how. But we talked.”
Steel’s eyes softened.
“She’s happy for me,” I whispered, tears streaming down my cheeks.
“Steel, I love you. I love you so much, it hurts. I know it’s fast and I know this weekend has been too much, but I know.
I know this is right. It scared the hell out of me earlier, and that’s why I pushed you away.
And I can’t lose another love. I can’t. I’m sorry I pulled back the way I did, it wasn’t fair to you. ”
“It’s okay,” he said. “I promise it’s okay. I wasn’t exactly perfect either, was I? I’m sorry too.”
I slid my fingers through his fur, inhaling his familiar comforting scent. It was wild how much had changed in my life in the span of just a couple days.
“And I love you,” he murmured, pressing his forehead to mine. “I want this forever with you.”
“I do too,” I said. I finally took a clear breath and smiled. “Thank you for taking a chance on me.”
“Always, Oli. Always.”
The air rippled around us and I didn’t have to look up to know they were here.
Steel slowly put me down, but his grip on me didn’t loosen.
We watched as the Barista appeared in the doorway to the cafe.
Lucifer was right behind him, but he was in a form I’d never seen before.
Black wings were spread behind him, his face monstrous and twisted.
Shadows rippled around them as Death gestured to the booth. “Finally. You made it.”
The Barista glanced at Steel and me. “Leave now,” he told us.
“No,” Death interjected, raising a hand. “They stay. They ensure nothing gets out of hand. And they’re proof of your abuse of power when it comes to dealing fate.”
He growled, tearing his attention from us. Steel swallowed hard, his claws digging into me nervously. It was bad, whatever this meeting was.
“What do you want?” the Barista demanded. “Why are you awake?”
“You know why. Sit.”
“No,” Lucifer whispered. “No. You need to leave. We aren’t going to comply with what you ask.”
“I am here for a reason,” Death said simply. “Your daughter does not belong to this world. The other children, I do not know. But this one’s soul is in the wrong place. You know it to be true.”
“No,” Lucifer snarled, the air rippling around him. He stepped forward, baring sharp teeth. My heart skipped a beat and I looked away, his form hurting my eyes to behold. “You will not lay a hand on her.”
“She is not a mortal, and you know it. And you know her soul. You recognize it.”
The Barista grabbed Lucifer before he could lunge across the cafe. “You will not touch our oldest—”
“Oldest? No. I mean your youngest. I don’t know what her name is here. She is not meant to be in this realm. Her soul is not in the right place. It will cause disruptions. The Barista, as he’s called now, knows what I’m talking about.”
Silence settled over all of us. Lucifer’s eyes lit like pyres, but he turned to look at his mate. “What does he mean?”
The Barista’s expression became unreadable. He stared at Death, and then shook his head, looking at Lucifer. “I didn’t know for sure. I mean, I suspected she might be—”
“What is he talking about?” Lucifer barked. “Who does he mean?”
“Tana.” The Barista’s shoulders stiffened. “He means she might be reincarnated.”
“Not might,” Death said. “It’s all very complicated, isn’t it?
The way life and death work. The way souls work.
The other realms, the rules that glue it all together.
Tana’s soul was not meant to come here, and she needs to return.
She is tricky, and she is in the body of a child.
She will become destructive in this form. ”
“What?” Lucy whispered. “No. No, there’s no way. Not our daughter. She’s ours. She’s our child. You’re lying.”
The Barista was silent for a few seconds. His whisper shattered. “I didn’t know for sure.”
Lucifer stared at him, his wings dropping. “Why didn’t you talk to Trixie and me about this? Why?”
“Because I wasn’t sure—”
“You suspected. That’s enough to bring it up to us.”
“Everything has been getting out of hand, and now Death—”