10. Love and Loss
Steel
Walking into my cabin alone was . . . awful. I felt sick to my stomach as I flipped on the living room lamp and sprawled out face-down into the cushions of my couch, feeling like my world was ending.
Running all the way home had cleared my head some. It’d taken a couple hours, but it had been exactly what I needed. Getting my blood pumping under the full moon had lessened the cloud of sadness stifling me.
It was normal to be on different timelines when your mate was a human, right? Of course Oliver didn’t want to immediately be mated.
But fuck, it hurt. It hurt so much. All I wanted was for us to seal our mating bond and then figure out the rest of our lives.
I’d thought during my rut that those thoughts were entirely driven by lust, but now that my head was clear—I felt it in my chest. This tugging, this need, this desire for something more.
It was so silly to already say I was in love with him.
But gods damn it all, I was.
I flipped over onto my back. I hated how quiet it was here.
I hated not having Oli close by. I’d been so spoiled the last few days, and now I was frightened I’d ruined it all by running away from him.
It felt wrong to not be sleeping in the same bed as him tonight, and even more wrong that we’d parted in a sour way.
He was hurting too. I knew he was.
All my logic and reason battled my heart, but it was losing. When it came to matters of love, why did I even need to be reasonable? What was reasonable about fate, anyway?
Time and time again, I’d seen those around me fall in love.
I was born into a household that was full of love.
My moms and dad loved each other so much.
My sister and her mates loved each other.
My brother, well, he’d find his mate eventually.
Hopefully sooner rather than later. This feeling was contagious.
I suddenly understood why the Barista kept matching humans and monsters.
Almost everyone I knew had met the loves of their life, and now it was my turn. An idea that I’d been so resistant to for so long, and yet here I was.
Pining and whining and wishing that my human could see that our lives would be perfect together.
I knew he still carried a lot of pain from losing Alia.
That much had been clear this weekend. And maybe that’s why the Barista had wanted to wait to match us, to give him time to heal.
But I’d been so . . . wolf-headed. Demanding he match me.
Barging in on Layla and ruining so many things, hurting people’s feelings. It wasn’t like me to be like this.
And after all of that, I’d run away from Oliver.
“Fuck,” I sighed, rubbing my face.
At the very least, I owed Oli an apology.
I stared at the ceiling for a few moments, attempting to quiet the storm in my chest. It wasn’t going to work, though. Not until I heard his voice.
I drew out my phone and pulled up his contact, staring at it. It was three in the morning. He was probably asleep.
Despite that, I pressed the call button and waited. I scowled when it went straight to voicemail. Had he turned his phone off?
Fuck, I wanted to tell him I was back and safe. Although I could hardly call my cabin home now.
Home was where my mate was.
“I fucked up,” I said to myself, squeezing my eyes shut.
Regret was an unwanted sticker burr in my fur, the prickling of it hurting. I kept my eyes closed, thinking about this weekend and how perfect everything had been.
I already missed his scent, and I’d only been away from him for a few hours.
My phone rang on my chest and my heart leapt. Oli’s name flashed across the screen. My stomach twisted, but I immediately pressed the answer button.
“Oli, I’m so—”
“Steel, there is someone here.”
Oli’s voice was shaking, and I heard another voice in the background. I sat up, my eyes widening.
“Who? What’s wrong? Oli?”
There was a shuffle in the background, Oli’s voice muffled.
Then there was a new voice. One I didn’t recognize or know.
“Your mate is, unfortunately, my bargaining chip,” they said. “And you will tell the Barista he has to meet me. It is the only way.”
Shock chilled my veins, icy panic gripping me. “Who are you?”
“He will know. Your mate will not be harmed, but Oliver will not be returned until the Barista meets me at the cafe. I’d appreciate your cooperation.”
The call ended before I could say anything else.
Fuck. I jumped to my feet, stumbling to my front door, my head spinning.
Someone had taken my mate.