Fuck this Bullshit #2
He nods. “At first I know it was hard for you, but you were better without him. Every time he messaged, you cried and had another meltdown, so I told him it was too hard to be friends with him and he needed to stop messaging. I knew it was wrong, but it was so hard to watch you struggle. I just wanted it to stop. And I know it got worse for a while, but then you got better, and I thought I’d done the right thing. ”
I hold up a hand, feeling sick. “You had no right to interfere.”
“I know, Lav. I’m sorry.” He runs both of his hands through his hair.
“Right now, you’re not forgiven.” I sling my backpack over my shoulder and push past him.
“Where are you going?”
“Away from you and the rest of the stupidity happening in this house.” I don’t even know how to process what’s going on, or whether it means anything anyway. It doesn’t change the fact that Kodiak’s been horrible to me. But maybe it explains it. I don’t know.
Kodiak calls my name as I pass his room, but I ignore him and keep going.
The living room is empty for once. No Maverick, no random dudes, not even BJ passed out on the lounger.
I shove my feet in my shoes and am out the door, cutting off the sound of feet pounding down the stairs as I slam it shut.
I hit the automatic start button and thank the karma gods that I remember to unlock it before I reach the car.
I yank the door open, toss my bag on the passenger seat, and practically dive inside, pulling the door closed behind me and slamming my finger on the lock button.
I get my key in the ignition and my seat belt on as the front door opens. I remember I also need to turn the key to be able to get out of here, and when I do, the car is filled with the sound of another damn audiobook. Thankfully this time it’s not in the middle of a sex scene.
Kodiak stands on the front porch in a pair of sweats.
I can tell he’s yelling something because his stupidly gorgeous mouth keeps opening and closing.
He grabs his hair with both hands and spins around as River joins him.
I catch a glimpse of a teeth-mark-shaped bruise on his side.
I must have bitten the shit out of him last night.
I shift into reverse, wishing I’d been smart enough to back in so my getaway could be smoother. I pull onto the street and fire the bird at them as I drive away.
I’m not supposed to meet Lovey and Lacey until eleven thirty, so I make the impulsive decision to stop at the housing office.
There were at least ten girls already on the housing waiting list, but people drop out all the time.
The last time I went in for an update, there were still four girls ahead of me.
My luck seems to be pretty crap, but it doesn’t hurt to check.
When I arrive, a middle-aged woman sits behind the desk, looking less than impressed about whatever is on her computer screen.
I catch the reflection in her glasses and realize she’s on Facebook.
She types furiously for a minute and stabs the enter button aggressively before she gives me her attention.
I focus on remaining calm by counting all the yellow things on her desk.
She forces a smile. “How may I help you?”
“Hi. I’m on the waitlist for the dorms. I know I’m supposed to get a call when something opens up, but I was passing by and thought I’d stop in to see where I am.”
A hint of annoyance makes her cheek tic, and a hot feeling creeps up my spine. I hate irritating people.
“Let me have a quick look. I’ll need your name and your student ID.”
“Thank you so much. It’s Lavender Waters.”
She glances at me. “Lavender? That’s a pretty name.”
“Ironically my parents aren’t even hippies.”
She smiles, and this time it’s friendlier. Thank you, Mom, for the weird name. I give her my student ID number, and she taps on her keyboard for a minute.
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Oh! It looks like you’re next on the list. Well, that’s good news for you.” More tapping ensues. “And it seems a spot has opened up in the co-ed dormitory.”
“That’s great! How soon can I move in?” Thank you so much, karma, for not being an asshole today.
She clicks a few more buttons. “Seems to be available immediately. I’ll have to double-check with the residence team, but you could potentially move in as early as this afternoon.”
“Seriously?”
“It looks that way. I can call now and find out, if you’d like.”
“That would be great. Thank you.” I take a seat and wait while she makes a phone call.
I can’t believe my luck. Sure, River might be upset that I’m moving out, but after all the crap that’s gone down recently, I need a little separation and some independence.
I won’t live in the shadow of my past like this, or allow the rest of my family to keep influencing my decisions because their guilt weighs us all down.
It turns out I can, in fact, move in later this afternoon.
I fill out all the required paperwork and then realize after the fact that I’m going to have to call my parents and tell them what I’m doing.
Legally, I’m an adult and can make my own choices, but I didn’t tell them I put myself on the waiting list, thinking I’d never get the call.
Plus, I’ll have to either use my savings to pay for it or see if my parents are willing to pick up the tab.
My excitement wavers as I return to my car, preparing to make the dreaded call.
Video chat is probably the smartest way to go, even though it makes me feel like hurling.
I take a few deep, cleansing breaths, pull up my mom’s number—she’s the more reasonable of the two—and hit call.
She answers on the second ring, her face appearing in the small screen.
Her hair is pulled up into a messy ponytail, and she’s wearing a pair of bifocals. She’s in her office/sewing room, based on the background. “How’s my favorite daughter?”
I smile. Being the only girl awards me the favorite-daughter title. “I’m good. How are you?”
“Also good. Just working on a project.” She makes a face. “Are you in your car? Is everything okay?”
“Uh, yeah and yeah. Everything is fine. Sort of. I need to tell you something.”
She sits up straighter, and something clatters to the floor. My mom and I have the same clumsy genes. “Did something happen?”
“It’s nothing bad,” I reassure her.
Her eyebrow rises. “Then why do you look like you’re going to chew your lip off?”
I free my lip from my teeth. “I need a better poker face.”
My mom laughs. “Sorry, sweetie, you got all my best and worst traits.” Her expression softens and grows serious. “You can talk to me. You know that, right? Whatever it is, I’m always going to be on your side.”
I nod and glance up at the roof. There’s some kind of stain above my head. I don’t want to know what it is or how it got there. “So, you know how we decided I’d live with Mav and River so I could get settled this year instead of moving into the dorms?”
“Let me guess, living with your brothers is a nightmare?”
I blink a few times, shocked by her reaction.
Although maybe I shouldn’t be. This is my mom we’re talking about.
She and I have always been a united front against the endless testosterone and smelly sports equipment.
Or Robbie’s horrible science experiments.
“Um, well, it’s not exactly what I would call fun. ”
“Because they’re overprotective slobs who like to party too much and the house is always full of half-drunk jocks?” she offers.
“Uhhh . . . yes to all of the above?”
“I figured as much. Your brothers are idiots, by the way. Just between you and me, I follow them on social media under a fake account, and all of their friends, so I see pretty much everything they do.”
“Oh my God.” I slap a palm over my mouth. “How have they not noticed that?”
“Because it’s a catfish account. I use stock photos of hot girls in bikinis.” She rolls her eyes.
“You’re a genius.”
“Just sneaky.” She tips her head to the side. “So, this hasn’t been the dream scenario we all envisioned?”
“Not really, no. I actually put myself on the waiting list for the dorms.”
“I can understand keeping your options open.”
“And today I got a notification that a room is available.”
My mom nods slowly, almost as though this isn’t a surprise. “Kody wouldn’t happen to be a factor in you wanting out of there, would he? And before you give me a high-pitched no, I’ve already seen that picture of you two from last night.”
“Oh shit.”
She hmms and rubs her bottom lip. She always does that when she talks to me, probably because of the scar on mine.
“It didn’t look much like a friendly, ha-ha, let-me-carry-you-into-the-house-so-we-can-get-all-cozy-with-each-other situation.
” Her voice is purposely light, but her concern bleeds through.
I sigh. “I pissed him off.”
“I gathered. What happened? And was that a thong bikini?”
I can feel the fire in my cheeks. My mom isn’t nearly as excessive with the overshares as Gigi, but she has zero problem addressing sometimes uncomfortable topics.
“Gigi got it for me for pre-Cancun tanning.”
“Of course. I need to have a talk with her.” My mom rolls her eyes. “So, I’m guessing the bare-ass show was meant to get someone’s attention.”
“Mom.”
“Well, you’re not much of an exhibitionist, so I assume you were doing it to make a point.”
I blow out a breath and explain what happened—not all of what’s been happening, but the part about Kodiak seeing my schedule and then magically appearing in my art class to pose as our nude model.
“Nude as in . . .”
“As in swinging free.”
“Really? Kody vomits before games, and he got naked in front of your class?”
“How do you know he pukes before games?”
“Rook and your dad talk, and your dad tells me everything before he falls asleep.”
“Oh, well, yeah. He was totally naked. For almost three full hours.”
“Huh.” My mom taps her lips. “That’s an interesting way to communicate your undying love for someone.”
It’s my turn to roll my eyes. “He was being a dick.”