18. You Can’t Get Rejected If You Never Even Try
“Daddy?” I breathed, not trusting that I’d heard him correctly.
His lids closed, and he inhaled sharply. Still holding my chin and hip, he tugged me closer so my ass slid from his knees to his lap. His hardness pressed between my spread legs. “Say it again.”
“Daddy?” It came out airier and even more unsure than before, but that didn’t seem to matter to him.
His cock jerked in response. He held me there for a moment before repositioning me on his knees. “Is that something you’re into?”
“Yes.”
At my immediate answer, Ash gave another of those pleased smiles that made me feel like I’d done something amazing rather than just mutter a single word.
I hated to ruin it, but once my brain caught up with my hormones, I amended, “Maybe? I mean, I don’t know.”
I really wish I would’ve grilled Juliet about her relationship to know what it actually entails so I’m not giving a wishy-washy answer.
Ash, of course, didn’t take it like that. “It’s okay, it’s a lot. That’s why I was trying to take it slow.”
“Would it be like Juliet and her husband?”
“No.”
At his blunt denial, disappointment I didn’t even understand, much less have the right to feel, hit my chest.
But Ash wasn’t done.
Spearing his fingers into my hair, he tilted my head back. “Maximo is obsessed with Juliet.” His hand fisted, pulling the strands. “But I could be consumed by you.”
In my long life of always being left wanting, I didn’t think I’d ever wanted anything more.
“To answer your question,” he said, and it took my stunned brain a moment to remember what it even was, “it’s not all of a sudden. I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you nick that douchebag’s wallet.” He dropped his hands to my thighs, and his thumbs stroked soothingly. “And what’s changed is we found the motherfuckers who hurt you.”
In everything I thought he’d say, that wasn’t anywhere on the list. It was so far off the list, I wasn’t even sure I understood.
“The guys who attacked me in the alley?” I asked.
“You have someone else who’s hurt you?”
Yes. A long list. Grab a protein bar and a notepad.
“No, I’m just lost. How did you even find them?”
“We’re good with this shit.”
I was rocked. I couldn’t believe he’d found them. I couldn’t believe he’d worked so hard to do it. Because I had no doubt a ton of effort had gone into it. There was no shortage of lowlifes. Sifting through to find them—especially with no real info to go off—would be like finding two specific needles in an even bigger stack of needles.
Violence happened in Vegas all the time.
No.
Violence happened everywhere all the time. In the big, scary cities and the wholesome tiny towns.
Getting hurt was awful, but I’d still been more fortunate than others. I’d survived the random attack. I’d moved on.
But Ash hadn’t.
“What do they have to do with you wanting me?” I asked.
“You trusted me to take care of you, and I don’t take that shit lightly, Mila. I didn’t want to do something that would make you feel like you weren’t safe with me. Or worse, like you owed me. Before I did anything, I needed to make it so you could tell me to fuck off and then safely leave.” His lip twitched. “Temporarily.”
“And I can leave?”
Any trace of humor was gone, and his jaw clenched as he repeated, “Temporarily.”
God, that’s hot.
Why is that hot?
“But not this minute,” he tacked on. “We found them, but I still need to deal with them.”
Maybe it made me a bad person, but I didn’t ask how he was going to deal with it because I didn’t care. Both those men deserved whatever threat or legal trouble they faced.
Ash stood suddenly, bringing me with. He took a few steps to the mattress before setting me down. He didn’t join me. “I’ll be back soon.”
“Wait, you’re going?” I cried. “Earlier, you said you were going to make me…”
An amused smile tipped his mouth, and he played dumb. “Make you what?”
I may have wanted to throw something at him, but I wanted to ease the tightness in my lower belly more. Gritting my teeth, I forced out, “Make me come.”
“It’ll have to wait.” He leaned down to brush his mouth across mine. “I’m guessing you don’t want to go back to hanging out with Juliet?”
I would rather dive in the deep end wearing a bikini made of plugged in toasters.
“I would not,” I said instead.
He gave me a knowing look but didn’t push—though I got the impression he wanted to.
I knew I’d have to talk to her eventually if I wanted to salvage our fledgling friendship. But I had enough other stuff to deal with right then. I didn’t want to add trying to explain to her what was raw in my head.
“I want you to stay in this room until I get back,” Ash ordered. “I’ll bring dinner with me, and we’ll talk. Until then, relax.”
“You know how I said you couldn’t say not to mention just to mention it? You also can’t say we need to talk and then tell me to relax. Those two are mutually exclusive. Totally incompatible.”
“Noted,” he said as he walked from the room.
My reeling brain was cycling through our lengthy conversation when he came back a moment later with my phone and the iPad from the table. He set both on the nightstand before pulling a bottle of water from his pocket.
“I thought you were just happy to see me,” I joked.
Ash chuckled, but it was husky as he snagged my wrist. He pushed my flattened palm against his abs and moved it slowly down before stopping above his belt. “When you’re ready, I’ll show you exactly how happy I am to see you. And it’ll be a fuckuva lot more impressive than that water bottle.”
If he were any other man, I’d chalk the brag up to male ego and exaggeration.
But it was Ash. And I’d felt that hardness between my legs.
He was understating it.
“I want that water gone by the time I get back,” he ordered. “Keep an eye on your phone. I’ll text about dinner.”
“And the iPad?”
“When Maximo and Juliet got together, she had a lot of questions she researched. Figured you’d have the same.”
“I can’t look that stuff up on her iPad.”
His brows lowered. “It’s not Juliet’s. Though she was the one who suggested I get it for you.”
“It’s mine?”
“Cole loaded it with the same books she has. She said something about a book club?” Plucking it from my hold, he flipped it over and handed it back. “Water. Texts.”
“Right.”
He was almost to the door when he turned back. “And Camila?”
Since I’d been staring at his retreating back—and ass—he already had my attention. But that wasn’t enough for him, and he remained silent until I responded. “Yes?”
“No touching that pretty pussy. Understood?”
I hadn’t been planning to, mostly because it took too long when I did, and he’d likely be back before I finished. But it was still an unexpected order.
Shocked, all I could do was nod. But again, that wasn’t enough, and he arched a brow as he waited expectantly.
“Okay,” I said.
“Good girl.” Without another word, he left.
My eyes stayed aimed at the doorway long after he was gone before I dropped them to look at the iPad.
And the engraving on the back.
Mysunshine
Short. Simple. Sweet.
And so very possessive even before we’d talked.
“What the hell do I do now?” I whispered to myself.
I did the smart thing.
I drank my water and started researching.
Ash
Daddy.
Fuck. Just the memory of Mila’s nervous voice was enough to have me adjusting my dick in the elevator. I wasn’t sure I’d survive the lack of blood to my brain if she said yes.
I wasn’t sure I’d survive—period—if she said no.
I’d always been a Daddy, even before I knew there was a label to put on it. My buddies in high school and college used to joke that I would put myself in the permanent friendzone with the thoughtful way I took care of girls.
Like friendship was akin to a blown apart, sinking ship.
Like I was owed something.
Like treating women like shit was the way to get them.
Inevitably, they’d see whatever bullshit dating advice they’d read was wrong, and that what I did worked. They’d try to copy me, but it never lasted.
Not everyone was a Daddy. Not everyone got off on that carefully calibrated level of control, nurturing, dominance, and power exchange.
But I did.
If someone had asked me that morning whether I could be with Mila without her calling me Daddy, I’d have said yes. But after hearing her say it twice? I wasn’t so certain.
Not without the memory of it haunting me.
I knew without a doubt, though, that I could never turn off my actions that backed up my words. I was obsessive. Arrogant. Over-the-top protective.
I couldn’t soften that with anyone, but especially not Mila. She sparked every instinct I had, stronger than I’d ever felt it.
Running my palm down my face, I knew I was getting ahead of myself.
The elevator opened, and I stepped into the waiting room outside of Maximo’s office. “It’s me,” I called, moving slowly. “I’m nearing the plant. Now the chairs. I can almost see into the room.”
I smiled at Juliet’s laughter.
Maximo was less amused. “Get your ass in here before I shoot you.”
“And have to hire five people to replace me? Go for it.” I moved into the open doorway and held my hands up. “And I just wanted to give you ample time to hide your shame.”
“Ain’t no shame in what I’ve got.” He winked at Juliet. “Any of what I’ve got. Not to mention, you just texted a minute ago.”
“A lot can happen in a minute.”
And I’ve walked in on it.
“If that’s true for you”—he gave a slow, sad shake of the head—“no wonder your woman ran.”
I shot him the middle finger. My gut hurt at the memory of her trying to run from me while my dick wanted to harden at the memory of chasing her. I kept it in check as I glared at Juliet. “Snitch.”
She sat on the side of his desk and crossed her arms smugly. “Payback.”
“And I was gonna give you a Get-Out-Of-A-Snitch pass. Never mind now.”
“Dammit. Is it too late to lie and say Marco told?” Her flippant attitude dropped, and she looked concerned. “Is she okay?”
I wouldn’t share Mila’s business, so I went for the vague truth. “She will be.”
“Good. Please tell her about my run through the desert so she knows she’s not alone. At least her escape attempt didn’t require a snake murder. And feel free to embellish my heroism.”
I lifted my chin since that story would probably help.
I could’ve waited to ask Maximo until we were in the elevator, but I wanted Juliet’s opinion, too. “At the beginning, did you worry Juliet would reject you as her Daddy?”
“No,” he said.
Helpful.
“I knew there was a possibility she would, but I wasn’t worried about it.” At Juliet’s gasp of outrage, he shot her a warning look that was mostly bullshit bluster. “Because it wasn’t an option. Not one I’d accept anyway.”
That time, it wasn’t a gasp from Juliet, but an exaggerated eye roll she would undoubtedly pay for later. “Don’t listen to him. I think the wedding ring on his finger is somehow cutting off blood flow to the part of his brain that houses his memories.”
“My dove.” That warning wasn’t bullshit bluster.
Juliet continued despite it. Or maybe because of it. “Either that, or he’s getting forgetful in his old age.”
“Juliet Black,” he bit out.
I was already backing away. “I’m going.”
“Wait.”
At Juliet’s tone, I stopped and looked back to see her standing.
“Since you asked specifically about him being my Daddy, I’m guessing the same applies to you.”
“Correct.”
She smiled but did it shaking her head. “I knew you all were disproportionately bossy.” Her smile fell and her words were earnest. “Maximo might’ve felt like that, but he gave me a choice. Options. When I handed him my… everything, it was my decision. It wasn’t pried away from me. It wasn’t because I felt stuck. I willingly gave it, and that’s the only way this worked.” She glanced at him and then put her hands behind her back—a position that covered her ass. “That and he was beyond bluntly honest about what this was, what he expected, and how things would be.”
That was what I needed to do. Lay it out. Good intentions or not, my attempt at taking it slow and careful had backfired. She’d managed to get shit twisted until she was sure I didn’t want her.
“You need to give some thought to what those honest answers are for you. The entire time I was with Mila today, she didn’t ask for a single thing. She didn’t complain about a single thing. She is go-with-the-flow to the point it could drown her. She’s also very guarded. And that’s coming from me. I get the feeling she doesn’t let people in, but every time she mentioned you, she smiled. If she thinks the only way to be with you is as your submissive or in whatever capacity of kink you follow, she’ll probably do it, even if it doesn’t work for her. If you can be with her without it, I think that’s what she needs to hear so she has a choice.” Her eyes narrowed and she lifted a finger. “But only if that’s true. Otherwise, you’ll be the miserable one.”
“I’ll tell her,” I said as soon as she stopped talking. I didn’t have to think about it.
“Good because I want this to happen.” I started to smile, assuming she wanted the handsome goon to be happy, but she continued. “I already really liked her, but then watching as she made you chase her? Not to be dramatic, but she’s literally my favorite person. So you better make sure she sticks around, or I’ll kick your ass.”
“What was that, little dove?” Maximo asked, his tone too calm.
“I said favorite person, not favorite Daddy.”
“Still not okay. I’m your favorite Daddy, person, human, everything.”
“Oh God,” she muttered, clearly holding back an eye roll.
“Yeah, that too.”
There’s my cue to leave.
I started for the door, and Maximo said, “Hold on.”
“You don’t have to come. You’ve got enough to worry about with the fight coming up.”
“That’s what I pay Serrano for.”
It may have been true, but that didn’t mean Maximo wasn’t involved in every aspect of his resorts and the events held there—along with the underground ones at the warehouses. He’d already given up his morning to stake out The E. Coli Corral Motel.
“Seriously, we’ve got it.”
He shot me a glare. “I saw the lobby footage. I saw her. I know what these dickheads did to your woman. I’m happy to be here.” His lips tipped before he added, “Behemoth.”