37. A Shower Of Thoughts
Chapter thirty-seven
A Shower Of Thoughts
Maria
Every inch of my body is trembling and weak. I can barely stand, much less walk to the bathroom. But my mind is filled with nothing but bliss, the waves of euphoria still washing over me.
I can’t believe I just did that.
I can’t believe my body was capable of that. Every note of pleasure, each moment of lavished attention... How could I ever go back to “normal” sex ever again?
Being able to take on two men at the same time, much less three, has opened up my mind to new possibilities. Already, my thoughts are contemplating new ideas, new positions, and new experiences I can only imagine.
With time, those imagined scenarios could become reality.
I call dibs on the shower and slip into the bathroom before either of them has the chance to stop me. My entire body yearns for a long soak in a hot shower, and possibly a long nap.
Actually, I could go for some bacon and eggs right now. I wonder if Ed could order some food.
I turn the temperature of the water up, as hot as I can bear, before stepping into the tub. The scalding water stings my skin yet eases the pains of my body at the same time. I let my thoughts drift away into nothingness as I lather my body.
I find a small bruise just on my inner thigh. Drake must have put it there. Heh.
To think that just a short time ago, our first encounter occurred at such a strange time, when I didn’t yet know myself without Benjamin.
Once an attachment to his life, I’ve slowly learned to stand on my own two feet, to make decisions, both bad and good, that demonstrate my character.
Even with the loss of Oliver, he helped me to learn more about myself than I could have thought possible on my own.
I like where I am now, despite what I had to go through to get here.
“Room for two more?”
A pair of hands draw back the shower curtain to reveal two smiling faces: Stanley and Drake.
“I mean, it’s going to be a tight squeeze, but I think we can manage.” My cheeks flush at my double entendre but I don’t think either of them took notice of it. Stanley steps in behind me while Drake sits in the tub at my feet.
“I thought I called dibs. Why are you two in here?”
“Nothing else to do,” Drake shrugs as the water rushes over his head and face. “Ed and his kid are out there in the living room, so we can’t exactly go get something to drink.”
“Alexander’s here!?” My eyes shoot to the door, as if he’ll walk in at any minute. I suddenly feel exposed. It is as if I’ve done something wrong and am about to be punished for it.
Is that why Ed hasn’t come back yet?
“Well, if you’re going to eat up my shower time, you might as well get to work.” I lather up a wash rag and hand it to Stan. “My back isn’t going to wash itself.”
“Heh, aren’t you feeling bossy...” Stanley starts at my shoulders and works the cloth against the sore parts between the joints.
“No, just practical.” I grab the bottle of shampoo, squeeze a dollop into my hand, and start washing Drake’s hair.
“So, how was it for you?” he asks as he ducks his head to prevent the shampoo from running into his eyes.
“G-good. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced so much pleasure before. Thanks for going so slow with me.”
“Our pleasure.” Stanley scrubs the middle of my back and down to my rear before he hands the washcloth back. “I told you we’d be gentle. You’ve got no reason to be afraid of us.”
I know that now. My earlier fear seems so silly in hindsight, that wariness of losing control and the unfamiliarity of the situation.
But after everything, I’ve learned to trust each of them in turn.
Through the ups and downs, the celebrations and the arguments, I think each one of them has captured a small part of me in some way, without me even noticing until now.
“And you were right. You need me to apologize again for running out like that?”
Stanley chuckles and grabs another cloth to start washing himself.
“That’s not necessary. I’m just saying we’re never going to betray your trust in us. Ever.”
“I usually go out of my way to contradict Stan, but I’m going to agree with him on this one. I might be emotionally screwed up, but when it comes to intimacy, I always keep my word.”
Their words leave me feeling weak in the knees in a much different way. Their words feel solid, something I can rely on to catch me when I’m down.
This is what I’ve been looking for. This is...
“Hello, Earth to Maria...” Drake waves a hand in front of my face. “Were you going to hand me the conditioner?”
“Oh. Sorry. Spaced out there for a second.”
How do I put into words how much they’ve come to mean to me? How can I express how much all of this feels right?
Still, I don’t know if I want to give in to those thoughts right now, not so soon after breaking up with Oliver.
The pain is still too fresh, too raw, and I need to make sure that I’m emotionally available for what these three men have to offer.
I don’t need to go about this a second time and ruin everything again.
“I think I’ve had enough. I’m starting to get pruney.” Drake rubs his fingers together and hastily turns off the water.
I wasn’t done!
“Our shifts are going to start in a few hours anyway. We should get going.” Stanley kisses the nape of my neck before stepping out of the shower. He grabs the only towel hanging from the rack and wraps it around his waist.
“Would you mind getting towels for Drake and me?” I request. It’s already starting to get chilly in here.
Stanley gets a twinkle in his eye I don’t like.
“Don’t you dare...”
“Kidding. I’m not going to abandon you like that. Especially after all that talk about trust. Give me one second.” He winks and slips out of the bathroom. It’s a few chilly minutes before he returns with a towel draped over each arm.
“I come bearing gifts.”
I thank him and quickly wrap the towel around myself to keep some of the chill away.
“Uh, does that mean you guys are coming over again this evening?”
Stanley and Drake both pause in the middle of drying themselves, their heads slowly turning towards me.
“Only if you want us to. Want to explore more of this?” Drake gestures to the space between all three of us.
“That wasn’t what I meant. I wanted to... talk about it. And maybe you guys could convince Edward to hire me back.”
The two look at each other before devolving into muffled chuckles.
Did I say something funny?
“Maria, if this morning didn’t convince him to take you back, I’ll eat a colostomy bag for lunch.”
The thought of that makes me want to gag.
“Still, it doesn’t hurt to ask. I don’t want to assume anything.” I remove my towel and start drying my hair. Darnit, I don’t think I have my brush here.
“You’ll be fine.” Stanley leans in and kisses me on the cheek before departing to the bedroom.
“And if you’re not, we’ll punch it into him.” Drake follows suit on the other cheek.
“Please don’t.” Sometimes, I can’t tell when he’s being serious or not. “Oh, happy sobriety, by the way. Edward told me last night.”
“Oh. Uh, thanks. Sorry I didn’t invite you...”
“Circumstances. It’s fine. Maybe I can treat you to lunch this week to celebrate?”
Drake’s face lights up.
“I’d like that.”
I watch the door close and consider the logistics of how I’m going to get out of here.
I only have the clothes I wore last night and I have no idea what Edward’s told Alexander as to why I haven’t been around.
That leaves me with no believable lie to tell.
Alexander might only be four, but he’s not stupid.
I’ll just go with whatever Ed’s told him. Easier that way.
My stomach rumbles to remind me I need to get dressed more quickly.
A shame we couldn’t eat breakfast together...