Chapter 21
CHAPTER 21
SAVANNA
I don’t know if Nate had the strength to walk away tonight. I wouldn’t have thought I did, but I knew I had to do it for him. As much as I want him, I want all of him, not just pieces that can be here when others are stuck in his mind, thinking things through.
I wish I’d thought of that stupid button-down while we were first kissing because I can only imagine what might have happened if he hadn’t thought I was moving too fast. Maybe I could have kept him out of his mind long enough for him to be so into the moment that he couldn’t have gotten out.
Then again, if he’d taken me right there in the bar, I wouldn’t want him to regret it afterwards, or to think the reason we went there was because of Vincent and what happened tonight.
I sigh and squeeze my eyes shut, leaning back against the closed door, a flame of burning hot anger spiking through me. Vincent. As hard as I try to rid my life of him, he’s still following me around, even if only as a memory.
The aggravation slowly dies out when I hear Nate move down the hall to his bedroom. Pushing off the door, I walk to the dresser and search for something to wear to bed, coming across my softest spaghetti strapped top and matching bottoms.
I smile to myself as I finger the beautiful forest green fabric. It’s a far cry from Jordan’s near see-through t-shirt, but Nate would probably find it just as alluring with the amount of skin it shows.
I don’t regret telling him the things I did, but I’m disappointed that such a fun night ended on such a low note. Sure, there were a couple of bumps in my evening to begin with, but by the time dinner came, those things were forgotten, and we all had a great time.
It was so much fun getting to know Nate’s friends. The way they made me feel included was a breath of fresh air. I loved them all. I loved the camaraderie they all had, the obvious love that they felt for each other. The way they’d pick on each other, and bicker with one another, and how someone would always come to another’s defense.
After changing, I pad down the hallway to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face, laughing at the memory of Brody’s face when he realized he wasn’t the only hockey fan at the table. It wasn’t a surprise to me, thanks to Nate sharing that nugget of information one night, but Nate obviously hadn’t shared back. Oh, how Brody had suffered when he’d jolted upright in excitement, pain from his injuries overriding enthusiasm I’d never before seen from him.
When he’d finally recovered, we entered a twenty minute conversation about our favorite teams, the blockbuster trades and signings, and the upcoming season. It was the most I’d ever seen Brody speak at one time, and it would have gone longer, but Quinn interrupted us declaring hockey to be as boring as watching paint dry. Brody had sniped back about her boring scrapbooking hobby, and thus the two began the great debate of who was more uninteresting. It was Liam who had finally stepped in, announcing they were both dull, and getting laid was by far the best pastime one could have.
They reminded me of my brothers and me. The pointless arguments in good fun, the laughter and gentle ribbing. The competition. The way this group interacted was like a family, and it warmed me all night because I felt like I was part of it. As I pat my freshly washed face and minty tasting mouth off with a towel, that warmth spreads through me again.
The longer I’m by myself, the more I realize how tired I am. Maybe Nate was right to stop things tonight so we can both get a good night’s sleep. By the time I’m back in my room and plopped on my bed, my eyelids feel heavy, and I know it’s not because of the alcohol. I may have had more than him—certainly more shots since he declined each of them—but I stopped drinking hours ago.
I start braiding my hair so I can finally crawl between the sheets, my eyes scouring my nightstand for my elastic. I’m two twists through the loose braid when I realize the elastic I used last night is still in the bathroom. Huffing at myself, I debate leaving it. It’ll be a rats nest in the morning, but my eyes want to close.
Future me will hate present me if I don’t do it, so I begrudgingly get up and march to the door, flinging it wide open. And stop with a gasp.
Nate is standing on the other side of the threshold. The sleepiness that threatened me moments ago vanishes when his eyes rake over me, mine doing the same to him. He’s changed into gray sweatpants but hasn’t bothered with the usual t-shirt I see him in at nighttime, standing there with a bare chest instead.
Shit. My body hums from the mere sight of him. I may orgasm from it alone.
In the week I’ve been here, I’ve yet to see him shirtless, and my god, I have been missing out. I knew from that first day the sight would be impressive, but wow, it’s better than I could have imagined.
His broad shoulders were one of the first things I noticed about him, but now I’m seeing all the muscle corded along his traps to his thick neck. It leads my eyes to his chest, which I know is solid because I’ve run into it. But that isn’t even the best part. Those abs. Oh my word, those abs. They call to me. Begging me to kiss all the indents along them, making my mouth go dry. And do not even get me started on the V that his hips make that lead straight down to his groin.
Fuck me. His groin. I suddenly realize how hard he is, his cock tenting his pajama pants. I know he hears my whimper when he shifts towards me, forcing my eyes up to his face. All I see is heat, his chest rising and falling with quick, shallow breaths.
“It would never be my reason either,” he says, his voice gruff and thick with desire.
Then he’s grabbing me by the hips, urging me towards the bed. I’m putty in his hands, going willingly, swiftly. My arm hooks over his shoulder at the same time the door closes with a click, and then my back is hitting the mattress, Nate’s body following me down.
Before I can take a breath, his lips are on mine in a bruising kiss that makes my body tingle from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. It’s frenzied, heated, our tongues grappling for position, taking us right back to where we started in the bar.
My legs part for him to rest between, and I wrap them around his waist, pulling him against me. We groan in unison as his cock presses against my center, giving us both the slightest bit of relief with the friction. Hands seem to be everywhere all at once. Mine at his back, moving over muscle, feeling them contract and relax as he moves above me. He holds himself up by his left forearm which sits near my head, but his right hand is at my breast. Finally. Finally touching me.
Cupping my breast in his hand, he feels the weight of it through my tank top before his thumb runs over a nipple. I gasp into the kiss at the sweet torture, the peak hard and aching in need.
“Need this off,” Nate mutters, breaking the kiss to peel my tank top off me. Hissing in fervor, he pushes up to kneel, his eyes taking me in like he’s a starving man. “So perfect.”
If I ever felt my chest was too small, I’ll never feel that way again after the way he looks at me, eyeing my breasts like they truly are as he describes. I squirm from the intensity of his stare, causing his eyes to dart to my face.
“I love it when you blush,” he says in a deep sensual caress that washes over my skin. “But I think I might find things I love even more tonight.”
Oh. Oh my. My center throbs with a fresh wave of heat, burning me from the inside out, at the promise I see in his eyes. When his fingertips move along my calves, I gasp, goosebumps rising along every inch of skin at the feather-like touch he uses along my sensitive skin.
“Mmm, yeah. Think I’ll find lots of things I might love more,” he murmurs mostly to himself. His fingers move deliberately, his pace making me writhe as he watches me react to his touch. By the time he gets to the bottom of my shorts, I’m out of my mind.
“Nate,” I gasp. “Touch me.”
His eyes dance with amusement. “I am.”
To prove his point, his fingertips press harder into the flesh at the back of my thighs, kneading into my skin, nearly making me come off the bed.
“Nate,” I whine, lifting my hips, searching for more of his touch as he continues to run the pads of his fingers along my bare skin at the bottom of my shorts.
Bringing both of my hands to my breasts, I pinch my nipples, pulling them taut because I need something, anything, to create the pleasure I’m seeking. My eyes roll into the back of my head, and I hear his growl before his hands gently bat mine away. Then he’s over me again, his lips suctioning to one nipple, the other being rolled between his fingers.
“Mine,” he mumbles around the tight peak. “Don’t touch.”
I don’t need to. Not with him now giving me what I want. Need. But I’m glad I did it because hearing him claim me as his makes every bone in my body melt, leaving me in a more aroused state than before.
Shivers race through me as he sucks and licks at my nipple, then moves to the other, giving it the same attention as he did the first. I squirm beneath him, my fingers rooted in his hair, my hips rising into him, desperate for friction.
He knows what I want, and he’s happy to oblige.
A hand slides down my ribcage, eliciting a gasp from me, and he pauses, catching the sound I made. Slowly his head lifts, his eyes glazed with desire, his smile lazy while he runs his fingers over my rib cage again.
I suck in a breath, my body shying away from the touch, but also wanting more. My ribs are so sensitive, always have been, and with him finding one of my erogenous zones so quickly, I know I’m a goner.
“Nate,” I breathe out when he does it again, my hips bucking towards him this time.
The curve of his lips deepens. He does it one more time before deciding I’ve had enough. For now at least. Lowering his head back to my breast his hand continues its descent over my waist to the band of my shorts. When he doesn’t find any panties underneath, his teeth tug at my nipple as he looks up at me with approval before cupping me with his palm.
Releasing a quivering breath, I push my hips up, silently begging him to give me more, and he does, slowly sliding a finger through my slit.
It’s his turn to gasp, his lips popping off me, eyes widening as they dart down between us.
“Jesus Christ,” he mutters, sitting back up. I’m blushing hard as he grabs the waistband of my shorts and yanks them down to my knees, leaving me bare for him to see. “Fuck. You’re soaked.” I watch him as he looks back to me, desire flaring in his eyes. “You’re soaked and you’re blushing. For me.”
“All for you,” I tell him, spreading my legs wider, moving my hands down my ribcage and over my stomach as if to entice him to stop staring and start touching.
It works. He makes quick work of my shorts, and then both of his hands start at my knees and make their way up the insides of my thighs until they reach my center. I cry out as he spreads my lips apart with his thumbs and feasts his eyes on my clit, running one thumb around it. It feels so good, I could practically come just from that simple touch.
He shifts on the bed, and then his face is between my legs, his mouth covering my clit, sucking with a gentleness I want no part of. Passion, heat, hardness. Those are the things I want right now. Crying out, my hips lift off the bed towards his face, and he groans, then sucks harder, giving me what I want. My fingers plunge into his chocolate brown hair, and my head presses roughly into the mattress when I feel a finger at my entrance.
“Yes,” I moan, my eyes rolling into my head as he pushes inside of me with such slowness I think I may die before he fills me. He releases me from his mouth then, and I cry out in frustration, but he flicks my clit with his tongue as his finger slides as deep as it can go.
I want to scream at him. I want to moan for him. I want to combust into a million flames. He gives me one thing I want only to take away another. It’s delicious, and frustrating, and I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.
His tongue skims over my clit again. This time my hips are off the bed, and he takes the opportunity to put his free arm beneath me to keep them lifted. When he adds a second finger and covers me with his mouth again, pulling hard on my clit while his fingers work in and out, curling perfectly, I can’t handle it anymore. I fall apart, my orgasm hitting me so hard I can’t think with the pleasure coursing through every inch of my body.
He keeps at me until my thighs are forcing themselves shut, my body unable to handle any more of his ministrations. While he removes his fingers from inside of me to use his hand to open my legs again, he continues to lap gently at me, licking up every drop of pleasure I have to give him.
I’m still panting by the time he lifts his head and slowly ascends my body, a goofy grin on his face. He looks like he’s had as big of an orgasm as I have, but I know that’s not true given that I can feel his erection now pressing against my center.
“I definitely loved that,” he says, making me laugh. “I also really love how fucking wet you are.” His eyes shift downward for a moment, and I swear he’d bite his fist if he weren’t using both hands to prop himself up. “Jesus, I didn’t know a woman could get that wet.”
“What do you expect when I’ve been in a constant state of arousal all week?” I ask. If I’d confessed this prior to his face between my legs, I may have blushed, but post-orgasm, I own it.
His eyebrows lift. “All week?”
“Give or take,” I laugh softly, reaching a hand to his face, running it over the stubble on his jaw before my fingers move into his hair. “Pretty much any time you’ve touched or looked at me.”
“Christ,” he mutters, dropping his forehead to my shoulder.
His hips shift, pressing himself more firmly against me, letting me feel his length, which makes me groan. I can tell just by the few glances I’ve had, and now this, that he’s well endowed.
“Can I make a confession?” he asks, lifting his head.
With a distracted nod, I slide my legs up his body, moving my feet around to his backside to pull him even closer. He’s nestled right against my slit, his pajama pants separating us, and I rock my hips gently beneath him, but he’s quick to stop me.
His voice is strained when he says, “Sav, wait.”
My heart drops. While I feel a million times better than I did before he gave me that mind blowing orgasm, I want him inside of me, fucking me until he’s reaching his own amazing orgasm. I want him to feel this good. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing is wrong,” he says, pushing a piece of hair from my face while giving me a tentative smile that says the contrary. “It’s just… been a while. I don’t want this to suck for you, but I can’t promise it’s going to last long. I’m a little amped up.”
“Oh.” Not what I was expecting. It’s so, so much better. I bite down on my lip, debate for one second about the question on my mind, and decide he makes me feel brave enough to ask, “Well, if it doesn’t last long, can we do it again? Or is this a once a night kind of deal?”
Nate barks out a laugh and leans down to kiss me thoroughly. “We can do it as many times as you want,” he murmurs, his hips lifting away from mine.
My hands are at his hips in an instant, helping him with his sweatpants. Then we’re nothing but skin on skin, his lips gently caressing mine in a long, languid kiss. There’s a crinkle next to my head where one of his hands is resting, keeping his body weight slightly off mine.
A condom. A man prepared.
Butterflies rush through my belly. He’d come back here knowing where this would go. Had made the decision that he wanted it. Made the decision he wanted me. Despite everything I’d told him tonight, he still wanted me.
Until this moment, until realizing that he made a choice to come back here with a condom ready, I don’t know if I truly believed that he wanted me. On some level, sure. The attraction had always been there between us. But I know if I’d been left alone with my thoughts long enough, I would have convinced myself that I’d screwed everything up by telling him the truth. Relief in having someone share my secret or not, I would have been terrified to face him by morning.
His lips break away as he lifts himself, the crinkling getting louder as he tears open the condom wrapper. Even though it’s been a while, he’s covered quickly and then back on top of me, kissing me again like he never left.
Nate reaches between us, lining us up, and without taking his lips off mine, slowly pushes inside of me. I moan into the kiss, forcing myself to relax as he guides himself inch by pleasurable inch into my body until he’s seated to the hilt.
He lifts his head, his gaze soft and warm, but full of restraint. He knows his size; knows I need the time to adjust around him. Or maybe he needs to go slow so he doesn’t lose his control before we even get started. I don’t know. What I do know is he fills me so completely I don’t think I’ll ever feel right without him inside me again.
“You okay?” he asks, his eyes intent on me.
I rock my hips beneath him, and he shudders in response. I think that’s his control that I feel slipping away as I nod my head. My arm slips around his neck, and I tug him back down to me, my lips brushing across his.
“So much better than okay,” I breathe against his mouth. “Now fuck me.”
The discipline that always seems to grip him snaps. It’s as if I can physically feel it breaking inside of him while he’s inside of me. His lips claim mine as he begins to move, slowly at first, trying to retain some of that control, but I squeeze my walls around him, wanting more.
He grunts in response, tearing his lips away. Hooking an arm around my thigh, he lifts my leg as he pulls back and then surges inside of me, every speck of gentleness gone. It’s exactly what I wanted. His cock is big, but I’m so wet that he glides through me easily, and I moan with the pleasure flowing through my body in waves.
It’s never been easy for me to come while having sex. Before, yes. After, sure. Usually by myself. I stopped caring long ago if it happened during the act itself. My expectations have always been low on that front, but I should have known that Nate would raise the bar despite his warning.
Gasping when his finger finds my clit, I reach out and grab the blankets, twisting them in my fists as my hips buck towards him. I’m out of my mind with pleasure as his finger works me and his cock pummels me. I can feel the orgasm developing within, the tension building in my belly, anticipation filling every nerve.
Stars suddenly explode around me, and I’m in a million pieces around him, squeezing his cock. Nate wraps his arm around my other leg, pushing both towards my chest, using them as leverage as he slams into me until I hear a guttural groan escape him and his hips still while he rides out his own orgasm.
We’re both breathing hard as he releases my legs a few moments later and collapses down on me, barely propping himself up with an elbow to keep from completely crushing me.
“Christ,” he groans from where his face is planted against my neck.
“Uh huh,” I pant, my tongue sweeping along my lips to wet them.
That was incredible. More than incredible, that was two out of this world, mind blowing orgasms in a row, incredible. I’m pretty sure every part of me is mush right now, and I don’t think I’m going to be moving any time soon.
Unless he wants to do that again. I’d move for that.
Lifting his head, he plants a soft kiss to my lips. “Be right back,” he says, gingerly sliding out of me. I whine at the sudden loss, hating the empty feeling he left behind.
Then he’s out of bed and out the door. Good lord, I hope Jordan doesn’t come walking down the hall and see her brother naked. That’s the last thing she needs. Note to self, fuck in Nate’s room going forward, not mine. At least he has his own bathroom.
When he’s back and closing the door, I prop myself up on an elbow, raising an eyebrow. “You don’t think that was a little daring? Jordan could walk out at any second.”
“She’s not home,” he says, pausing at the side of the bed in all his naked glory, a washcloth in his hand. “Her bedroom door is open and she’s not in there.”
Grabbing my calves, he gives me a good tug, causing me to yelp in surprise as I move across the bed. Then he takes a few minutes to clean me up with gentle strokes of the warm, wet cloth in his hand. When he’s done, I’m off the mattress and in his arms quicker than I can yelp, and just as quickly I’m back on it. It takes me a moment to realize that he pulled the covers down so we could slide beneath them, but when I figure it out, I laugh.
“Smooth.”
Nate grins as he climbs in beside me, pushing me over to the middle before covering us with the comforter. “I have my moments.”
“You have lots of them,” I tell him, snuggling into his side, my head resting on his chest. It’s easy to find the perfect spot against him. It feels like he was made for me to curl into him like this. “I happen to think you’re smooth even when you’re not smooth. I think it’s adorable.”
“Good. You’re the only one whose opinion matters.”
My stomach flutters, and I know my cheeks are turning pink for a reason wholly different from the physical activities from a few minutes ago. For a long time, I wasn’t allowed to have an opinion. At least not one that I could voice without suffering some kind of consequence. To hear Nate say not only did mine count, but it was the only one that mattered, makes my lip tremble.
Wrapping his arm around me, I steep in his words as he aimlessly runs his fingers up and down my arm and along my shoulder. This may have been our first time, but I feel like I’ve done this with him forever.
“Nate?” I say after a moment of silence between us.
He’s sleepy when he responds. “Yeah?”
I run a hand down his chest and over his stomach, my fingers finding the treasure trail of hair that will lead me straight to his cock. “Do we have to be anywhere at any particular time for our date?”
“Nope.”
“Good, cause I really want to do that again. Soon.”
“Christ.” I can feel him looking at me, and I turn my head to gaze at him. He has this dopey grin on his face that makes my heart quiver because he’s so adorable. “You just get better and better.”