Chapter 22
CHAPTER 22
NATE
From the passenger seat of the truck, Savanna is turned towards me, staring. I’m trying my damnedest to keep the grin off my face, but I’m failing miserably. I’ve gotten her pout, her plea, her scowl, and even a huff since we got up this morning—afternoon—and she asked where I was taking her on our date.
It's driving her insane that I’m keeping it a surprise. I know she’s not big on them, but given the fact she hasn’t done a lot of things around town and the surrounding area, I really wanted to surprise her with something.
The only indication I gave her of today’s plan was how to dress after she informed me she wouldn’t know what to wear if I didn’t tell her where we were going. I glance over at the sexy yoga pants I told her to put on and can’t hold my grin back any longer. Her bottom lip jutted out when I told her to throw those on with some sneakers and to bring a sweater along.
When her initial scheme to get me to reveal our date didn’t work, she resorted to another tactic—teasing the hell out of me. I’ll admit, it almost worked. Until I threw her on her back and had my way with her instead.
Christ, did I ever have my way with her. If I’m not careful, I’ll end up with a hard on right now, just thinking about all the ways I had her last night. And this morning.
I don’t remember the last time I had sex multiple times in a night. After that first time, I had her three more times in between dozing off before we finally got out of bed and got ready for the day. We’re both tired, understandably so, but I haven’t felt this sated in years.
And yet, when my eyes slide in her direction once more, I know it wouldn’t take much for me to be ready to be inside her again.
“Nate,” she pleads once more as our eyes briefly catch.
I smile and shake my head. “I told you, it’s a surprise.”
I’m glad I made the decision to go back to her room last night. I know she was making it easy on me by saying goodnight and leaving me in the hall, but walking away didn’t feel right. The further from her I got, the worse I felt.
As I brushed my teeth and changed into a pair of pajama pants, I knew what she’d said was right. I didn’t want her because she’d told me about her ex, and it wasn’t because I needed to make up for what I’d said about locking her in the office. I made that comment without ever having intentions of locking her anywhere. I was frustrated with my friends for their antics, but I’d never hide her away from them, or any other part of my life.
Did I hate that I made her remember things that are painful for her? Fuck yes. But I’m not going to kid myself and think there will never be more moments like that. There probably will be. They’ll be just as shitty, and just as hard, but I’ll learn from them, and I’ll be better equipped to make up for it next time.
“Nate,” Savanna gripes for the fifth time since we got in the truck. “Please? I feel like we’ve been in the truck forever. Can’t you just tell me where we’re going?”
I snicker to myself. If she spent more time staring out the window instead of at me, she might have a clue where I’m taking her.
Squeezing her hand that I’ve been holding while driving, I shake my head. “Nope. We’ll be there soon, just enjoy the scenery until we get there.”
“Oh, I am.”
The suggestive tone in her words has my head snapping in her direction, and she gives me a demure tilt of her lips, wiggling her eyebrows playfully at me. I’m about to have a big problem on my hands if she keeps looking at me like that.
“I meant out the window,” I grit, refocusing on the driving. I need all my attention on the road with all the winding and turning of this mountain road.
We headed out of town and jumped on the freeway briefly, but it wasn’t long before I was exiting it to take her up into the mountain range east of Santa Rosé. We’ve been steadily climbing for the past half hour, working our way through the little mountain towns along the way. When we haven’t been going through one of those, the forest has closed in on us on either side, shadowing us with its dense canopy. It’s one of my favorite places to drive; green and lush. The redwood trees are enormous and have an otherworldly magnificence about them.
The scenery isn’t as beautiful as the woman beside me, and apparently she thinks the same of me. I can feel the heat of her gaze which she still hasn’t taken off me. It’s only intensified in the last thirty seconds, and my cock can feel it too because it’s getting harder by the second.
“Savanna,” I warn, bringing her hand up to my lips to press a kiss to it. “Look out the window before I have a problem I’ll need to solve.”
“I don’t mind helping you solve problems,” she tells me, and I can feel her body heat as she leans closer to me.
I drop our hands to my lap where her other one is now resting on my thigh.
“I will pull this truck over right now if you don’t look out the window,” I say, following up on the threat by slowing down.
It’s enough for her to finally glance out the window away from me. I know she catches sight of the sign when she pulls her hand back and faces forward, craning her neck as we drive by.
“Are you taking me to the state park? Oh my god, is this the one with the big trees?” The excitement in her voice has me smiling from ear to ear. I knew from a few of our conversations this would be something she would enjoy.
“The redwood trees,” I supply as we turn into the park. “I figured since you haven’t been anywhere except the beach, you might like the change.”
“I’ve wanted to do this since I moved here,” she tells me, and now that she knows where we’re going, she’s completely captivated by the sights outside. “But I—”
She cuts herself off as I pull into the parking lot. The sudden silence has me glancing her way to find her staring at the trees towering in front of us, her lip caught in her mouth. Savanna looks a million miles away in that moment, but it’s unlike the haunted stare from last night. It’s soft. Tender.
Bringing her hand to my mouth, I press a kiss to it, and pull her attention back into the truck with me. It works, except her excitement is muted compared to where it was a few minutes ago.
She gives her head a little shake, as though shaking off the remnants of a memory, and her full smile returns. “But I never made the time.”
That might be what she’s telling me, and herself, but not finding the time didn’t stop her. I’ve heard numerous tales of her adventures at the beach—or rather, the adventures she witnessed others take—but it wasn’t time that stopped her from coming to these woods. For now, however, I let it go, allowing her the space to tell me when she’s ready.
“Well, I’m glad you haven’t,” I say, pulling into a spot. The parking lot isn’t overly busy today despite it being a weekend, but the tourist season is also over which makes a difference. “Now you get to enjoy it for the first time with me.”
Savanna turns to me, her eyes wide with wonder and excitement. “Nate, it’s perfect. I love it.”
With the truck in park and her seatbelt off, she leans all the way across the console and plants a kiss on my lips. She lingers for a moment, but not long enough to suggest anything.
I wish my cock would get that message.
When she sits back, I gesture behind me. “I’ve got a pack full of snacks and water, but I’m not sure what you’re up for. We can go for a walk, or we can hike.”
“That’s right, you hike,” she says, a little twinkle coming into her eye. It’s the same twinkle I saw when I first shared that I used to hike, and it was one sign that this might be something she liked.
“When I find the time. Grew up hiking all over these woods with my parents and Jordan,” I tell her, looking out the windshield at the sprawling trees. “But don’t feel obligated to go on a hike if that’s not something you like. I just thought the forest and the mountain air might be enjoyable. There’s a waterfall not far. Maybe an hour round trip, and it’s pretty flat the whole way.”
“I love hiking,” she says with a laugh, but I detect an undertone of whatever it was that softened her smile earlier. She pushes her door open. “An hour is nothing, so if there’s more, I want you to show me.”
It’s like this woman was made specifically for me. I told her last night she keeps getting better and better, and this is just one more thing to prove it. I would have been okay with a simple walk to the falls and back, but I’ll admit I’m thrilled she likes hiking and not just being out in nature for a bit of a stroll. If hiking is something she likes, I’ve got plenty of trails, near and far, I can show her.
“Oh my god!” she exclaims, coming around to my side of the truck while I get my pack from the backseat. “This explains the pants!”
I look down at my pants and frown. I’m wearing a pair of gray quick-dry cargo pants. “What’s wrong with my pants?”
“Nothing. Trust me. You look great in them,” she says, leaning so she can blatantly check out my ass.
“Are you objectifying me again?”
It’s nothing new, but she’s always been more subtle about it. I kind of like this new, open way she has about her. I’m guessing it has everything to do with last night and cracking the lid on everything she’s kept locked up so tight.
“Yes.” When she straightens, she grins at me. “I’ve just never seen you in anything besides jeans and pajama pants. Well, and the fireman outfit, but that doesn’t count. These seemed peculiar.”
I laugh, conceding her point, even though these are usually a staple in my wardrobe. At least they used to be, before the bar when I had a lot more time for things like hiking and camping. Laying under the stars, listening to the wilderness roam for an entire night. I suppose it has been a while since I put them on, and probably longer since I was out hiking for a day.
Not that we have a whole day after staying in bed so late, but we’ve got a few hours, and if it goes well, maybe we’ll come back out next weekend for a day hike.
With the pack on, we start down the trailhead. The trail is wide, large enough to fit my truck down and then some, and mostly bare of any tree roots or large stones. It twists and turns, snaking through the large trees that loom overhead, watching people and critters on the forest floor. A lot of feet trudge through these trees throughout the year, the park being an attraction for tourists and locals alike.
I’m more interested in watching her than looking at the scenery around us. She’s filled with wonder at the massive redwoods that tower overhead and give us shelter from the warm sun. It’s like watching a little kid experience something for the first time. Savanna marvels at everything, her eyes darting everywhere all at once like she can’t take it in fast enough. As though it might disappear if she blinks too long. I might love this more than I love the way she looks when she smiles.
“Nate, this is incredible,” she says after we’ve been walking for a few minutes. “These trees are beautiful. They’re so big.”
“And old,” I add, then nod behind us. “We’ll check out the visitor center when we get back. They’ve got some cool info on the trees and how old they are. I think it’s something like twenty-five hundred years old.”
“No way!” she exclaims, incredulous, her head whipping in my direction, eyes wider than before. “Wow.”
Sliding her hand around my arm, she curls in close to me for a moment, pressing her cheek against my bicep. “Thank you for this. I haven’t been hiking in ages, and I’ve only ever hiked in Colorado. This is so different, but it reminds me of home.”
Glancing down at her, my arm slips from hers to wrap it around her shoulders and pull her tight to my side, getting the sense that she needs the closeness as nostalgia grips her. It slows us down, but we’re in no rush.
Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, I revel in the way she fits perfectly against me. “I hope the good parts of home.”
Savanna slides an arm around my waist and looks up at me with the same tenderness she showed in the truck, nodding. “The best parts. Hiking was something my dad and I did together.”
For a moment she’s silent, looking back to our surroundings, deeply inhaling the fresh air around us. “My brothers both played hockey, and that took up a lot of his time. He carted me along with them because there was nowhere else for me to go, and I think it made him feel guilty. So he started setting time aside for just the two of us. He’d take me into the mountains, and we’d spend the day hiking together.”
I can tell by the way she talks about her dad that she loves him deeply, something I noticed the night she shared more about herself. That night she sounded happy and excited to be talking about her family life, but today there’s a new undertone. Longing.
“How often do you talk to him?” I ask.
Her eyes snap to me and I see the pain flash through them before she quickly looks away, slipping out of my grasp. She doesn’t totally break the connection, taking my hand instead as she puts a bit of distance between us.
I don’t push when she doesn’t answer me right away, instead keeping quiet as we walk through the woods. Birds sing around us, and squirrels and chipmunks run along the forest floor or scurry up trees, rustling around for an acorn or two. The forest is a symphony of sounds, happier than the air that’s encompassed us.
“I don’t,” she finally whispers, emotion thick in her voice.
I swallow hard, giving myself time to collect the disbelief before it comes out in my words. That sinking feeling is back in my stomach, and I know I’m not going to like anything more I hear if I keep pressing for answers, but I want to know. “Your brothers?”
I feel the deep sigh she releases as much as I hear it. “I told you before. I don’t talk to anyone back home.”
My eyes close briefly and I blow out a breath. She did mention that when she was telling me about references she didn’t want to get for me. I never thought it included her family, but come to think of it, I’ve never seen her call home. Not that we’ve been together twenty-four-seven.
Christ. This woman is stronger than I ever gave her credit for, and I gave her a lot of credit. She’s been completely alone these last few months, running from a man she’s terrified of, with no one to turn to or confide in. That’s a lot of weight to be carrying around by herself.
“How long has it been since you talked to them?” I ask quietly, giving her hand a small squeeze. I want to ask her why, but I’m certain it’ll come out as accusatory. Still, the question remains: Why hasn’t she talked to them? I understand why she ran from her ex, but her family?
“Three days before I left,” she tells me wistfully. “It was Connor’s birthday, and we all went to my dad’s for dinner and birthday cake. They didn’t know it, but it was also my goodbye dinner.”
I stop dead in my tracks. When Savanna keeps going our hands break apart, causing her to turn around and look at me. I’m frowning at her, and now she’s frowning at me.
“They didn’t know you were leaving? They don’t know where you are now?” I ask, fighting to keep the critical tone out of my voice.
Wrapping her arms around herself, she looks down at the path we’ve been following. I’m not sure if she won’t meet my eyes because she’s ashamed, or because she doesn’t want me to see what she’s feeling.
Her head shakes. “My best friend knew. I called her before I got here and told her I went west, but I told her to tell my brothers I went east, so if they came looking for me, they’d go in the wrong direction. She also had letters for them and my dad.” Lifting her eyes, sadness fills the gray depths. “I couldn’t tell them I was leaving; they would have stopped me, or worse, they would have gone after Vincent.”
“Which they should have!” My voice is nearly a shout, and I cringe at myself, lowering it a couple notches when I add, “I want to go after him, Sav. If I ever meet him, he’s going to be sorry he ever laid a hand on you.”
“Which is exactly why I didn’t tell them!” she counters angrily, her hands coming to rest on her hips. “I don’t need anyone ending up in jail because of him! Including you. Especially you!”
Gritting my teeth, I stare at her for a long moment. If I feel this way after knowing Savanna for a week, I can only imagine how her father and brothers would feel if they knew what she’d been through. I’m guessing she never let anyone in on the fact he was abusing her, but I’d wager a guess they had a feeling something wasn’t right.
I realize in this moment I don’t know a lot about the situation either, something I need rectified. “Okay, but why not call them since you’ve been here? You’re out from under this guy, you’ve built a life here, why can’t you talk to them now?”
“Because I know him. I know if he knew where I was he would come after me, and I don’t want to put my family in that position. Guys like him don’t just stop because you move away. They don’t care if you call the police, or have a protective order.” She throws her hands up in frustration but then they fall limp to her sides.
Defeat and exhaustion. It’s all I see on her face.
“If they knew where I was, they could let it slip to the wrong person. If Vincent found out and he came here, they’d never forgive themselves.” Her voice drops to a whisper as she asks, “If Jordan was in a situation and you inadvertently got her hurt, would you ever forgive yourself?”
“No,” I say without hesitation. I already know I wouldn’t because it’s happened, and I haven’t forgiven myself. I never will.
Savanna steps towards me, placing both of her hands on my chest. My hands drop to rest on her hips, dragging her closer without consciously thinking about it.
“Exactly. I will not put my family in that position,” she says with conviction. “Part of me hates that you know as much as you do, because I feel like it opens you up to get hurt if he finds me.”
My hands tighten on her hips. “You can’t carry this burden alone, Savanna. I can handle myself, don’t worry about me.”
“I just don’t want anyone to get hurt because of me,” she says, pressing her face into my chest as her hands slide up around my neck.
I wind my arms around her and pull her flush to me, hugging her tight. “No one is going to get hurt. Not me, and definitely not you. I won’t let him hurt you ever again.”
I can physically feel the tension ease from her, like the weight of the world has been lifted from her shoulders and she’s being set free to live her life instead of living in fear. I wonder if she realizes how much she’s been carrying around with her all this time, and if she can feel it melting away as we hold each other.
I’m not sure how long we stand there, me giving her strength, her accepting it, listening to nature living around us, but I know it’s a while before she finally pulls back and smiles at me. Her eyes are clearer than I’ve ever seen them, and I return the expression, knowing in my soul she’s going to be okay.
“I know you probably have a million more questions for me, but can the rest of today be about us having a memorable first date?” she asks, looking at me earnestly.
Bringing a hand up to cup her face, I search her eyes, loving how close she is so I can see all the different colors in them. They’re mesmerizing and I know how easily I could get lost in them.
“Only if it can start like this,” I reply, dipping my head until our lips brush.
“Mmm,” she murmurs against my lips. “Best way to start anything, I think.”
After a moment, she pulls away, which is probably a good thing, even though I don’t like it. Slipping her hand back into mine, she tugs me forward, and we walk in silence, taking in everything the park has to offer. It’s peaceful and serene.
That’s one reason I’ve always loved hiking. It gets me out of my head and away from the hustle and bustle of life and responsibility. It’s rejuvenating to be out here, and Savanna adds to that feeling.
Before long, I’m pulling her towards a smaller secondary trail. It’s half the size of the main trail with more twists and turns, but it’s short and will dump us at the falls. During the height of the summer, this place can be swarming with tourists, but it doesn’t seem horrible today. We’ve passed a few people on our journey so far, but they’ve been few and far between.
The falls are busier though, something that’s evident even before we come around the bend in the trail that leads us there. Children’s laughter and shouting are coming from that direction.
When we come around the corner, I hear Savanna’s gasp at the sight before us. The waterfall isn’t anything crazy, but it’s stunning in its own right. It cascades over a wall of rock, coming from a stream being fed from higher in the mountain. The top of the falls is smooth, water careening over the side undisturbed until halfway down when the rock juts out, giving the sense that you could climb through it. I suppose you could if the rock face wasn’t slippery, but the firefighter in me bristles at the idea.
A pool of water sits at the bottom, feeding a stream that takes the water further down the mountain, winding and twisting through the city below until it reaches the river and eventually makes its way to the ocean. Lush, beautiful greenery flanks the waterfall on either side and the pool below. With no rain for months, the water is slow and gentle, but in the winter and spring months it can be rip-roaring mad.
My eyes are fixed on Savanna taking it all in, and once again I’m taken by her wonder at experiencing something for the first time.
She’s so damn beautiful it makes my chest ache. Her hair is braided today, and as usual, she’s only wearing mascara, the rest of her face bare of any makeup that I can see. I like that, despite this being our first official date, she didn’t try to doll up or change anything about herself. It makes her even more stunning, in my opinion.
“Nate, it’s gorgeous,” she says, her steps quickening.
There’s an entire lookout to view the waterfall, though that’s as close as we can get because there are no paths that lead to the pool below. Savanna pulls me over to an empty spot along the railing, leaning against it to take it all in.
I step up behind her, rather than beside her, and wrap my arms around her waist. When I feel her hands cover mine, I smile, her body pressing back against me.
“There’s a nicer one in the park, but it’s a full day trip, so it’ll need to wait until we have a whole day. I mean, that’s if you agree to another date,” I tease with a grin.
She cranes her neck so she can peer up at me, one perfectly arched eyebrow lifted. “Are you asking me on a second date?”
“I’d say I am,” I tell her, taking her by the hips to spin her around until she’s facing me. I know the point of being here is to look at the waterfall, but she’s far prettier than the falls, and she doesn’t seem to mind as she loops her arms around my neck. “If I’m lucky, you’ll agree to that and more.”
“Hmm.” She thinks hard, debating the topic, before finally giving a nod. “Do you think you’re lucky?”
I bump my nose against hers, smirking. “I sure as hell was last night.” That earns me a laugh, and I grin cheekily at her. “Hoping I’m that lucky again tonight.”
“It’s a sure bet,” she murmurs, pulling me down until our lips meet.
It isn’t the same sweet kiss we shared back on the trail. This time her mouth is hungry, and I’m instantly hard as thoughts flash through my mind of what this kind of kiss led to last night. Her arms tighten around my neck, and I know she can feel the bulge in my pants when she presses herself firmly against me, not leaving any space between our bodies.
Christ. I’d really love to find a private spot where I could have my way with her right now, but we don’t need someone to come along and catch us. Hell, the people around us now probably don’t need this much of a show.
Regretfully, I slowly pull my lips from hers, both of us panting slightly as we look at one another. “We’re going to be standing here for a while thanks to that.”
Savanna giggles, biting down on her bottom lip. She doesn’t look the least bit repentant about it. “Which way would you like me to stand? Like this, or would you prefer my ass?”
“Jesus Christ,” I groan, my hard-on pulsing at the image she’s putting into my mind. I’m thinking neither is going to help my problem now.
Releasing my arms from around her, I spin her back towards the waterfall and then step to the side, though I angle towards her so no one sees the evidence. As casually as I can, I reach into my pocket and adjust myself, gritting my teeth as the thought crosses my mind that I wish it were Savanna touching me, not my own damn hand.
I need a distraction that doesn’t involve sex.
“Do you want kids?” she wonders aloud.
My brain comes to a screeching halt. While I suppose kids do involve sex, the topic change throws me for a loop. It’s exactly what I needed for my situation.
For a second I think it’s completely random and out of the blue until I follow where she’s looking. There’s a pair of kids who are obviously siblings, running around, having the time of their lives playing as their parents watch from a bench, enjoying a snack and drink of water.
When I cast a look down to her, Savanna blushes. “That’s probably not first date material, is it?”
My lips curve upward. “Doesn’t seem like a first date, does it? Considering we’ve spent the last week living under the same roof, sharing a couch at the end of the day.”
“Not even a little. Part of me feels like I should already know the answer to this, but then I remember we’ve only known each other for a little more than a week.”
“It boggles my mind too,” I tell her, then glance back at the kids running around. Even as a teenager I knew I wanted kids one day. Now, ask my aunts if they thought I’d even considered it, and they’d flat out tell you no. If I had, I’d be married with a couple of them by now at my age. Considering I’m only thirty-two, I always roll my eyes at them.
“Yeah,” I tell her thoughtfully, still watching the family. “I’d like them one day. At least two. Growing up I always had Jordan, and even though she annoyed the hell out of me most of the time, I couldn’t imagine not having her.”
Savanna wiggles her way into my side, wrapping an arm around my waist as she goes back to looking at the waterfall, a soft smile on her face. “Same with my brothers, though I think I was the one doing the annoying.” Lifting her eyes to me, she adds in a shy voice, “Same about the kids too.”
Though it seems like a dangerous idea, I bow my head and press a soft, chaste kiss to her lips. Another thing we seem to be on the same page about, and I once again feel like this woman was made for me.
I’m in awe of not just her beauty, but her strength. To live what she went through, get away from it, start fresh in some place foreign to her, and stand on her own two feet without any help or support, amazes me. To let me inside her world, to trust me with the burden that she’s been carrying alone, and to give me a chance after everything she’s been through, I feel honored.
I know as I gaze down at this incredible woman, I’m quickly giving my heart to her, and I don’t think there’s a damn thing I can do about it.
“Speaking of families,” I say, clearing my throat as I glance away and look out to the waterfall. I’ve been thinking about the best way to bring this up. “Tomorrow is Sunday.”
“Your mom’s birthday barbecue,” she states, and I look down at her in surprise. She remembered. “Don’t look at me like that, of course I remember. Your mom was very firm that she didn’t want you there unless I came with you, and you made it clear that you’d get the third degree from the aunts since she’d be telling them all about our breakfast together.”
I already know my mom has told them. I woke up after a nap that day to a bunch of text messages from a couple of my aunts inquiring about the “beautiful woman” I had taken to breakfast. I’m certain they must have a group text going strictly for gossip.
“Right. Well, I was wondering if maybe you wanted to join me. It doesn’t need to be a date,” I add quickly. “We can show up as friends, and I can tell everyone to mind their own business.”
I run a hand through my hair, suddenly feeling just as nervous as I did asking her out on this date. “I know it’s a lot really quick. I don’t want you to feel any pressure because meeting the family is a big deal, but you have the day off, and the food will be better than anything you’ve had since you got to Santa Rosé. I promise you that.”
Savanna turns towards me, her gray eyes intent. “Do you want me to meet your family?”
I swallow hard to keep from rambling again, giving her a firm nod.
“Would you prefer not touching me all day?”
I blanch, not having considered that previously. If we tell everyone we’re only friends, whether they believe us or not, I’ll need to remember to keep my hands completely to myself. We both will. I’m not really keen on that idea.
I give her a firm shake of my head.
“Then I guess you got your answer.” When I eye her, perplexed, she grins at me, and it sends my heart into a gallop. “Sex tonight isn’t the only sure bet. That second date is, and it looks like it’s tomorrow.”
Christ. Just when I’d stopped thinking about sex long enough to get rid of my hard-on, she makes a promise like that.
I’m about to say screw the rest of the hike so I can get her back to the truck where we can find a quiet road and I can fuck her senseless. Because if I don’t? This could turn out to be one of the longest afternoons of my life.