73. Lolly
seventy-three
Lolly
My arm is humming at his proximity. His scent, still that familiar citrus with undertones of everything he is, has summoned memories I haven’t visited in years. The quiet drive is comfortable, my body relaxing for the first time in months.
I park outside the food truck and can’t help but smile when my eyes meet his. That strange tug in my chest is more palpable now.
“I still can’t believe you’re real,” I admit. My gaze wanders from those entrancing eyes to the soft curve of his nose, appreciating the additional freckles he’s collected over time. Those perfect lips. My god, those lips.
His cheeks redden under my perusal and he clears his throat as if about to say something.
“I’m,” he pauses, looking down at the console between us, “I can’t believe you want to see me,” he says quietly.
My chest aches, his words heavy in the air. I huff a small laugh, “Bailey,” I manage. His name is a confession, and a prayer. I wait, urging him to look at me. Hoping.
“Bailey, everything that happened, to us, around us,” I pause. “It all happened for a reason.”
His eyes find mine again, this time brimming with unshed tears.
“Both of us could have handled things differently. Better. But we were young and fucking stupid. I meant it when I said I want to know you. If you hear me say anything, hear me say this: I want to know who you are now, and why you are who you are today.”
“I want that too,” he says, voice unsteady but eyes full of earnestness.
“Then let’s have tacos and catch up,” I say with a grin.
He follows me to the window and fidgets by my side as I order for both of us. The uncovered picnic table and benches are wet from earlier rain so we wait in silence for a while.
My curiosity gets the best of me after about sixty seconds of being in his proximity. “What do you do besides working at the pharmacy?” It’s an easy question, not prying or too intimate.
He shuffles uncomfortably and shoves his hands in his pockets, “Not much, really,” he answers. “Liam and I still hang out when we can, but I usually spend most of my nights playing video games or at a meeting.”
“So you’re still a complete nerd even years later?”
“Absolutely,” he laughs.
It’s the best sound I’ve heard in a long time. Warming something inside me that I didn’t realize had grown cold.
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” I reply. “Is Master Beto still around?”
His smile brightens, “He is. He’s actually the best roommate I’ve ever had.”
“That honestly makes a hell of a lot of sense,” I laugh. “Jay snores and he always woke me up early, stumbling around like a big oaf.”
“I can only imagine,” he says through a smile. “He’s gargantuan.”
“Truly,” I admit.
We take our food back to the car and I immediately regret not having taken Jay’s advice regarding the back-up plan.
“You want to eat here or go somewhere else?”
“You can’t be serious,” he says, eyes wide. “What if I spill something in your car?”
“It wouldn’t be the end of the world,” I laugh. “But I would prefer you didn’t,” I admit. “I love this damn car.”
“Then it’s driver’s choice,” he decides.
“Fair enough.”
I smile, surprised when the patio in front of the bookstore isn’t full of people—the empty tables and chairs whispering promises.
“Is this place new?” he asks.
I can’t tell if he’s excited or annoyed by the idea. “It is. They just had their grand opening a few weeks ago.” I watch him, hoping I didn’t fuck things up already.
“I had no idea this was here,” he says, lips parted, eyes wide. “A fucking locally owned bookstore? Are you shitting me right now?”
I laugh, all my worries out the window. “Nope. And to make things even better, the owner is queer and donates a percentage of all sales to the local LGBTQIA charities.” I’m tempted to add that I’m friends with said owner, but don’t want to sound like I’m bragging.
His cheeks flush. “That’s amazing. Truly. A safe place for everyone,” he marvels.
“Eat with me, green eyes?” I ask. “We can shop afterward if you want,” I add.
“You sure you want to let me loose in a bookstore?”
“I think I can handle you,” I say with a grin before grabbing our food and exiting the car.