Chapter 9
LUALHATI
Iwoke up the next morning surrounded by my stuff.
I snuggled down into the bed, now laden with my own blankets and pillows.
We’d gotten everything squared away yesterday.
There was a point, late in the afternoon, when I began to worry that we wouldn’t finish.
But Warden Hallum was tireless, and he kept everything running on a relentless schedule.
The man never seemed to need to stop for a break.
The result was that my clothes and bedroom-type things were all cozily arranged in this room, and my cookware and other décor were in the kitchen, with some of the other stuff down in the cellar.
My limbs were pleasantly heavy after a busy day.
A day that had also included a simple meal provided by Warden Hallum and bath at the end of it.
The bath involved boiling pots of water on the stove and emptying them into a big laundry tub in the kitchen.
It also involved Warden Hallum awkwardly shutting himself in his bedroom for the duration of it to give me privacy.
I smiled at the memory, wondering what he would have done if he’d needed to use the outhouse.
There was no other door out of his bedroom.
Maybe he’d just hold it. Or maybe just launch himself out the window.
He was already known for doing weird things around windows.
Morning sunlight bloomed, a glowing flower. I thought I caught the far-off whistle of birdsong. I lay there, just enjoying the peace of it.
Yesterday, I’d been too busy to even think about Bryson. But even now, even in this perfect bubble of sunny quiet, when my mind was free to wander wherever it pleased…
Well, it pleased to not think about my ex-fiancé.
I had no interest in letting him take up any space right now.
Even when I probed the topic in my mind, there wasn’t any real grief to accompany the loss of a five-year-long relationship.
There was only the scald of the betrayal, and the bitter sense that I had wasted so much fucking time.
I was thirty-six now. By the time I finished my contract on Zabria Prinar One, I’d be thirty-seven.
Fertility treatments had come a long way since Old-Earth days, but there was only so much that could be done once those eggs started aging.
As a doctor, I knew that better than most. And finding a new committed partner could take years.
The whole idea, after everything that had happened with Bryson, exhausted me.
In that cozy bed, with the sun streaming in, I made my decision.
Man or no man, after my contract here was finished, I’d pursue a pregnancy on my own.
I could go back to Terratribe II to do it.
It didn’t have quite as many medical options as Elora Station.
But, frankly, I’d rather never set foot on that station again if I could help it.
This decision energized me, and I hopped happily out of bed.
I dressed quickly, humming to myself, feeling more settled and optimistic than I had in a long time.
I was also excited to go and meet Xennet and Dorn today at the saloon.
So far, I’d only met the wardens and one married convict, Rivven.
From the bits and pieces I’d heard from Warden Hallum over the course of the day yesterday, Xennet and Dorn promised to be intriguingly weird characters.
Intriguingly weird characters that were going to be my new sex-ed students.
I cringed a little, remembering the dildo incident.
The toy was tucked innocently away right now, but would be brought out again soon for lessons.
There was no way I’d ever be able to use it on myself again now.
I’d have to get a new one for, er, personal use.
I didn’t dress quite as comfortably as yesterday, aiming for something between professional-glam and practical. Leggings again, with a nice top, and ankle boots. These ones still had a heel on them, but they were low and chunky and would do much better walking around than my knee-high ones.
One thing I hadn’t brought with me was my hairdryer, and my hair after the bath had dried in a big brown-and-blonde spray of crimped waves.
I swept it all up in a bun on the top of my head, then added some dangly, silver hoop earrings.
I thought about putting on some of my signature red lipstick, but decided against it, since I hadn’t eaten or brushed my teeth yet.
My stomach did a weird and unexpected little flippy-dip when I prepared to head out into the kitchen.
I chose to ignore the fact that it was likely about seeing my big, grumpy roommate this morning.
And it was an entirely pointless moment of abdominal acrobatics anyway, because Warden Hallum wasn’t in the kitchen.
I took the opportunity to make use of the outhouse, then came back in, washing my hands at the kitchen sink.
My Valentine’s mug from my lola was ready to use on the counter, which made me smile.
One of my cans of instant coffee was also ready. Which made me smile even bigger.
By the time Warden Hallum returned from whatever he’d been doing outside (maybe he’d had a nice morning lurking under another window) I’d already had two cups of coffee. Breakfast was well underway, pancakes this time, made from a mix I’d brought.
“Good morning!” I said brightly. “Ignore those.” I aimed my rainbow spatula at a crumbly mess on the plate beside the stove. “Those were my practise pancakes.”
If he was unfamiliar with pancakes, he didn’t show it or bother asking about it. I guessed “pancake” translated well enough for him, since it was such a literal description of the food. Instead, all he said was, “You are up early.”
“Am I?” I glanced at the window. The sun had been up since I’d awoken. “It doesn’t seem that early.”
“Compared to yesterday.” He closed the door behind him, taking a moment to wipe his mucky boots off on the mat there. Under his arm was a big bundle of logs, which he set down beside the stove.
“Oh, yeah. I was just recovering.”
I thought I heard the swift intake of a sharp breath, but over the sound of the sizzling pan, I couldn’t quite be sure. But I definitely heard his reply, an urgent sort of demand as he stepped towards me.
“Were you ill?”
“No, no! Nothing like that. Just from the journey and everything.”
“And everything” of course included my entire life getting turned upside down in the space of about two seconds. But I chose not to include that part. I flipped the current pancake. It landed perfectly. “Yes! This one’s almost done. You can have it.”
“You take the first portion,” he insisted, but I shook my head, delighted at the way my hoops clanged coolly against my jaw.
“I already ate most of the practise ones. I’ll have the next one after you.”
He seemed satisfied enough with that. When the pancake was ready, I spread some butter from his cellar on it, then gave it a good glug of Terratribe II maple syrup I’d brought with me.
Like yesterday, he ate with an expressionless intensity, shovelling the food into his mouth like it was nothing more than fuel to be dumped into an engine.
“What do you think of that one?” I asked.
“It is very sweet,” he said.
I chucked more batter into the pan. “Yes, maple syrup is known for that. Do you like sweet?”
His grey eyes narrowed thoughtfully.
“I do not know,” he finally said. “I do not really see the point of it.”
“The point of…sugar? The sugar is the point!” I huffed out a little laugh. “It’s to make things taste good!”
He said nothing in response to that, as if needing some quiet time to mull over this new and shocking idea that food should actually taste good and could be a pleasure all unto itself.
But then again, in terms of the Hallum Hierarchy of Needs, I was willing to bet that pleasure took up the smallest section. If it was even there at all.
No sex. No sugar.
The man had lived like a monk. If a monk was in the military.
No wonder he looked so goddamn tense all the time.
It made me want to unwind some of that tension in him. I wanted to light upon every one of his senses, like a little bird on hard branches. I wanted to feed him more good food. And expose him to other new, fun experiences, too.
Like…
Not sex. Definitely not that. That would be highly inappropriate.
But maybe we could play cards one night.
Or get drunk together some time. Could Zabrians even get drunk?
If alcohol was a thing for them, Warden Hallum would probably be a teetotaler.
Nothing wrong with that, of course. Although, now I couldn’t stop thinking about what a tipsy Warden Hallum would be like.
I imagined him looser, gruffer. Less inhibited…
“I believe your pancake is burning.”
“Oh! Holy…Thanks. Lost in thought there for a second!”
I quickly flipped it. It landed much more messily than the previous one, but luckily the bottom was only a crispy brown, not unsalvageable.
“And what thoughts were those?”
“Er…” I decided not to tell him that I’d been daydreaming about what he’d look like all rumpled from a night out partying. “Just thinking ahead to today.”
Now I actually was thinking ahead. I finished up with my pancake and ate it almost as quickly as Warden Hallum had eaten his, though I did at least appreciate that maple syrup a little more than he did.
Neither of us needed a second one, so after a quick brush of my teeth – and a layer of lipstick – we were ready to go.
I’d unpacked my warmer, less fancy coat last night, as well as gloves, and I put them all on on the porch.
Warden Hallum, like yesterday, wore nothing but another one of his perfect uniforms. No mittens, no sleeves, no scarf.
He did wear his hat, but it seemed more to do with the sun than the temperature.
He really wasn’t joking about not being bothered by the cold. Fascinating.