Chapter 12 Hallum
HALLUM
“I cannot look,” I told her, just as I’d told her the last time she’d tried to get my attention. “I am driving at extremely high speeds and must remain facing forward.”
There was an autopilot mode, of course. But I wanted to make sure I was adequately equipped to drive the vehicle completely on my own should I ever need to. Despite my intense focus on the way ahead, my attention felt pulled backward the entire time.
Amazing, how she could distract me without even being in my line of sight.
It should have been alarming, too. But I’d grown too grimly used to it to be unnerved at this point. It seemed, as long as Lualhati occupied a place in this world, that half of me would always be with her.
Unfortunately, there did not seem to be anything I could do about it.
Even though Lualhati was a doctor, I did not ask her advice on the subject.
I doubted there was a name for this condition, that there existed a diagnosis to explain the way my senses were always pitching for her.
It was as if I was constantly trying to pick out her heartbeat above all other sounds in my environment.
Even when she was not near me. Even when there was no point.
Some nights, I could not sleep until I’d located the rhythm of her breathing from beyond the wall between us.
Some nights, I wondered how I’d ever sleep again when she was gone.
But there was little point in worrying about that now.
I remained tethered to the task at hand – that and the pretty, cheerily chattering woman in the back of the vehicle.
At maximum speed, it took us less than a half a day to reach Darcy and Fallon’s ranch.
Under a bright spray of spring sun, I landed in an empty area near the single-storey home.
By the time I’d exited the vehicle, a large Zabrian male with orange hide, yellow hair, and a smile even bigger than Lualhati’s was striding eagerly towards me.
“Warden Hallum? Welcome!”
“Greetings, Fallon,” I said, heading around the back of the vehicle.
Lualhati had already unlatched her door from the inside, and looked as if she were about to hop out.
It was rather high off of the ground, and she was wearing those short boots of hers, which seemed to be only mildly more supportive versions of her tall ones.
“Wait.”
“For what?” she asked. When she tipped her face questioningly towards me, the sun slanted across her features, lighting up her eyes from the side. Green fire danced among the brown and gold.
“For me.”
I grasped her about the waist with both hands and lifted her down.
Soft.
Not once had I ever cared about soft. I’d made myself so hard.
Or perhaps I hadn’t even made myself that way.
Perhaps it was just the way I was meant to be, from the day that I was born.
In a way, I demanded that same hardness from all others.
I had many standards for those around me. They could be exacting.
Lualhati had become my most unexpected exception. I was not even bothered by all her things in my home now. Even when they spilled out of their carefully chosen places and seemed as if to march, like living invaders, throughout the previously-uncluttered spaces of the house.
When confronted with the walls of my rigidity, she did not try to scale them or knock them down. She seemed to just…melt right through them.
And it was thanks to all that softness.
By the blazes, it should not have felt so good.
She should not have felt so good.
“Warden Hallum?” Fallon’s voice filtered through my consciousness. “I do believe the doctor is well and truly balanced upon her own feet now.”
“I am simply making sure,” I gritted out, releasing her.
“Forgive me,” Fallon said with a smiley sort of grimace, an expression I had not known before now was possible on a Zabrian face. “I am very eager to begin my wife’s appointment!”
“Of course you are!” Lualhati said kindly. “Lead the way, Fallon! I’m eager to meet her as well!”
We found Fallon’s wife, Darcy – a human woman with dark pink hair – resting in their bed.
“Don’t get up!” Lualhati insisted. “I’m coming to you!” She rounded the side of the bed, leaning down to give Darcy a hug.
“Thank God,” Darcy said with a muffled laugh. “I’m nowhere near full-term and I already find it hard to get my ass out of this bed.”
“You may keep your backside comfortable in that bed for as long as you need!” Fallon said. Darcy rolled her eyes, a human gesture that I found bizarre in the extreme, but she seemed secretly pleased with her husband’s attentions. He appeared a decent enough male, if overly effusive.
I stood out of the way while Lualhati began her examination, making note of things like Darcy’s temperature and heart rate. She also produced a small cup with a sensor on it, likely taken from the ambulance’s supplies.
“I need you to pee in this. It doesn’t have to be now. The sensors in the cup will transmit the data back to me even if I’m not here.”
“That might be tricky,” Darcy said. “I can barely get up and down off the outhouse seat as it is. Holding a cup down there is going to add a whole new layer of complication.”
“I will hold it for you, beloved wife!” Fallon said, thumping an earnest fist upon his bare chest.
“Fallon,” Darcy said flatly. “If you do that, there is about a 100% chance that I will pee on your fingers.”
“It would be an honour!” he proclaimed.
“Well, there you go then, Doc. Looks like I’ve got a urinary assistant. I’ll get that done later.”
“I’m not surprised you’re already struggling with things like squatting, sitting, and getting out of bed,” Lualhati said. “You certainly appear to be measuring ahead of a human pregnancy.”
“I told you!” Darcy said, half in vindication, half in accusation. “The baby’s got your big-ass Zabrian head! I’m probably growing a freaking bodybuilder in here!”
“I am very sorry,” Fallon said, rather droopily. “If there were a way to control such things, you know I would.”
“Hey.” Darcy’s voice got low and quiet. She reached out and took his hand, squeezing it. “You know I’m joking. Our baby is going to be perfect, no matter what shape or size.”
“I agree with Darcy,” Lualhati said. Her eyes looked a little shiny now.
Tears?
I had not seen her cry before.
If that was indeed what I was seeing, she blinked them away so quickly I did not have time to whisk her out of the room to demand what could possibly be hurting her right now. And she was smiling again, so I supposed she must have been alright. But still, new agitation gripped me.
“I’m going to measure you and then we can do the scan with this.” Lualhati pulled a small tube with a metal tip from her pocket. “Could you please lift up your shirt?”
“I will wait outside,” I said.
Lualhati nodded in response, but surprisingly, Darcy told me not to go.
“I’m not modest,” she said. “And this is the very first human-Zabrian baby. We might as well all take a look now and learn whatever we can. Who knows, Warden. You might end up having to deliver one of these little guys out in some field one day. You should know what you’re up against.”
“Hopefully not,” Lualhati said. “That’s why I’m here!”
“Only for a year, though, right?” Darcy said. Her large eyes seemed suddenly keener, resting first on Lualhati’s face, then my own.
“Oh. Yeah. That is true,” Lualhati admitted.
She cleared her throat, then motioned for Darcy to adjust her clothing.
After measuring, she held the metal tube over Darcy’s protruding abdomen.
With her other hand, she placed her data tab on the bedside table, propping it up so we all could see the screen.
“It should start transmitting a signal any second now,” she said, her red lips puckering with concentration. Then, they parted with a triumphant gasp.
Upon the screen was a tiny little face in profile, perfectly formed. An upturned nub of a nose, a miniature chin, a smooth, round brow. Two Zabrian-looking ears visibly twitched, as if the baby were listening to us.
Not that the little thing would hear much. Silence descended, broken only by Lualhati beginning to quietly – but excitedly – point out all the baby’s features.
“Obviously, that’s their lovely little face! Absolutely gorgeous,” she breathed, beaming. “Spine and organs look wonderful so far! Ah, there’s the tail, too! It looks a little nubby right now. It might end up shorter than the tails we’re used to seeing on Zabrians.”
“They have a tail!” Darcy whispered. This time, when I saw the human tears, I was sure of it. They spilled from Darcy’s eyes, down her lightly freckled cheeks. Fallon’s eyes were similarly affected, glowing fiercely, like hot moons as he took in the image of his child.
“Oh! Well, that’s that, then,” Lualhati said, quickly moving the tube around, distorting the image. “Do you want to know the sex? Because I definitely just got a good look there.”
“Yes!” Darcy said at once. She gripped Fallon’s hand so hard her knuckles turned white.
“Yes,” Fallon agreed thickly.
“It’s a boy,” Lualhati said. She was doing that shiny-eyes-blinking thing again. “You two are going to have a son!”
“A son,” Fallon murmured. His knees appeared to give out then. I reached to catch him, but he saved himself from falling by sitting heavily down atop the other bedside table. His gaze was brilliantly white, his smile dazed, nearly dreamy.
“Oh my God. I’m going to have a little baby you,” Darcy said to her husband, laughing and crying at the same time. “I had a feeling it was a boy!”
“You were absolutely right,” Lualhati said. She sniffed, then continued on with pointing out various parts of the tiny creature’s anatomy. I listened as she spoke, noting a throbbing in her voice, the edge of something almost aching.
It made me ache, too. Though for what, I could not say.
Darcy and Fallon invited us to stay for an evening meal, or even stay the night if we so desired. But Lualhati politely declined.
“You two will probably want some time to yourselves after such a big day!” she said.
“Yeah, true,” Darcy replied. “And our spare bedroom is packed with baby stuff that Fallon has made, anyway.”
“I have built three different cradles and cribs!” he announced proudly. “I shall see which one the baby likes the most!”
“What an exciting time,” Lualhati gushed, giving each of the expectant parents hugs. “Let me know the moment you need anything at all! And don’t forget about that pee sample!”
“We will not!” Fallon vowed, even as his wife groaned.
After yet another round of hugs, because Lualhati apparently could not get enough of the things, we left the house.
“Were those tears in there?” I asked her as we walked side-by-side towards the slicer.
“Oh, you mean Darcy? Yes, they sure were.”
“Not Darcy,” I clarified. “You.”
“Oh.” She paused at the back of the slicer. The sun was once again spilling down over her like a golden veil, bringing that vivid green of her gaze into brilliant focus. She practically glowed. A living light, right in front of me.
“Yes, I suppose so,” she admitted. “I was definitely overcome with some emotion in there!”
“Were you thinking about yourself, being in Darcy’s position one day?” I asked. It was obvious how important Lualhati’s goal of motherhood was to her. It did not surprise me that such an event might trigger an emotional response.
But she looked shocked by my question, and vehemently shook her head in the human gesture for no.
“Not at all! I was totally focused on Darcy and Fallon and their baby. I just…I really love my job,” she said.
“I’m so grateful I get to be a part of those moments for others.
That I get to take care of people. That I get to help make new families.
It’s such a beautiful responsibility. A true privilege. ”
I had known many great soldiers in my time. Strong leaders and paragons of discipline and duty.
But in that moment, I could not think of a single one with more honour in his bones than the little human female before me.
There was no one, I realized with a dawning sense of shock, that I admired more than her.
“I am sure they are grateful as well. To have you, I mean,” I finally said, when the silence seemed to stretch too long. But she merely lifted her shoulders and let them fall, all human humbleness.
“Shall we go home?”
She asked it like it was nothing at all.
Nothing at all that she had called my house her home.
“Yes,” I rasped. “Let’s go home.”