Chapter 13 Lualhati
LUALHATI
Ipoked my nose through the open window separating the back of the ambulance from the front where Warden Hallum was sitting.
The original slicer was still in there mostly, just covered now, and with a much more powerful engine.
He sat astride the seat like it was an Old-Earth motorcycle, gripping the handlebars.
I tried very hard not to stare at his butt.
Sadly, I failed. A girl could only be so strong.
“Warden?”
“What is it?” he asked without looking back.
Beyond the new viewscreen, night was falling all around us. There hadn’t been any snow back on Fallon and Darcy’s property, but it was reappearing now, showing up in little dustings and clumps that would get bigger and deeper the further we went.
“I’m hungry.”
“I believe there are emergency rations of some sort back there,” he told me.
“Yeah, I know. I saw those. But there’s just one tiny problem.”
“Which is?”
“I don’t actually want to eat them.”
“We will not be home for a while yet,” he told me. “You will have to choose which sort of suffering is most preferable to you. Eat the rations you are not excited about, or remain hungry for now.”
“I don’t like those options.”
“I’m afraid I have no others for you at the moment.”
“Can we stop at the saloon on the way back?” I asked him. “I won’t complain about being hungry on the ride again if you promise we can go get some of Rivven’s cooking before we go home.”
“That is fine. Are you happy now?”
“Yay! Yes, I am, thank you.”
“Good.” There was a gruff warmth in his reply that drew me up short, made my breath stutter in my throat. I clapped my hands onto my hot cheeks and turned quickly around, pretending to be suddenly very interested in the tubing of the nearest urinary catheter.
I’d barely recovered by the time we reached Rivven and Shiloh’s, but I did my best to put on a brave, not-affected-by-Warden-Hallum face.
I was pretty certain it sucked, but it seemed to convince Warden Hallum just fine.
Or maybe he just thought any weirdness going on with me was due to the fact that I was moments away from starvation.
Alright, that might’ve been a bit dramatic. But I was definitely ready to eat.
I followed the scent of roasting meat like a hungry cartoon doggy, hustling through the saloon doors. Inside, Rivven, Shiloh, Tasha, and Warden Tenn were seated around one of the round dining room tables, food heaped on platters before them.
“Hi, you two!” Tasha said with a wave. “Come in!”
“Have something to eat,” Shiloh said. “There’s loads!”
“That’s exactly what I was hoping to hear,” I said happily, dragging a chair over to the table. I squeezed in between Tasha and Shiloh. Their husbands were seated on their other sides. When Warden Hallum found his spot, it was directly across from me, between Warden Tenn and Rivven.
“How did the ambulance work out?” Tasha asked. Rivven handed empty plates to Warden Hallum and me. I placed mine down, wanting to answer Tasha before I started stuffing my face.
“It was great!” I exclaimed. “It worked out exactly as I was hoping it would! The trip was very smooth. And fast! Darcy was doing well, too!”
“That’s so great to hear,” Tasha said. “She spends so much time being sarcastic, or complaining, that I can never quite tell with her.”
“No, she’s very healthy,” I said, giving a firm nod. “And the baby, too. He looks absolutely perfect. Gorgeous little face on him, and the sweetest Zabrian ears!”
“Oh my goodness.” Shiloh clasped her hands tightly together in front of her chest. “So Zabrians and humans really can have healthy children together!”
“It certainly looks that way,” I said. “I have every reason to believe that their son will be born a healthy, happy little guy!”
I expected a few more questions, but none came. Instead, each couple went very quiet. Shiloh and Rivven shared a silent, secret look between them. Tasha and Warden Tenn did the same. Warden Tenn brought Tasha’s hand to his mouth in a tender kiss.
I knew what they were sharing in their wordless ways. Hope for their own futures. Their own families.
It hit me then, painfully so, that I might not be around to deliver their babies when the time came.
Even more painful?
I didn’t have anyone of my own to share a look like that with. Terrific loneliness sucked the air from my lungs. And not terrific like great. Terrific like terrible, like a storm, like lightning. I wasn’t hungry anymore.
But I needed to distract myself. I reached for my plate.
It wasn’t there.
When I looked up, the first thing I saw were his eyes across the table in the candlelight. That solemn grey, pinned intently to my face. Had he been looking at me the entire time?
When the other men had sought out their wives, the women they loved, had Warden Hallum sought out me?
“Do you know where my plate went?” My voice crackled pitifully.
“Yes. I’ve got it.” He held it up, then reached over the table to put it down in front of me. It was piled high with meat and vegetables.
His own plate remained empty before him.
He’d filled mine for me. Filled mine first.
“What about you?” I asked.
“You keep asking me that.”
“Do I?”
“You did that first night.”
“Yes. Right.”
When he’d given me his shirt in the cold wagon. I’d said the exact same thing to him then.
“I just don’t want to be an imposition, that’s all.”
“I am not in the habit of letting anyone impose upon me, and I do not intend to start now.” Warden Hallum’s eyes sharpened.
Silver blades. “When you are hungry, I will be the one to feed you. When you are cold, I will be the one to clothe you. This is no burden. It is as you said before – a beautiful responsibility. And it is a responsibility I will forever stand by as your-” He hesitated, stiffening, his mouth quirking downward. “As your warden.”
“Oh,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper. It felt like someone had shoved their fist down my throat. “Thank you.”
I became newly aware of the silence around the table then. The other couples were no longer looking at each other. But looking at us.
Vulnerability and embarrassment grabbed my guts and twisted. It was a bit like somebody had just pantsed me in the middle of the saloon.
Getting pantsed probably would have been better, in all honesty. At least I knew my ass looked fantastic. I wasn’t so sure I could say the same about my face right now. It felt all tight and wobbly at the same time. Like I was going to cry, but hadn’t quite let myself.
“So!” I said, far too loudly. “How was everyone else’s day today?”
“Tenn and I spent most of the day packing,” Tasha answered at once, seeming to intuit that I needed rescuing. “We’re going to head back to our province in the next three or four days.”
“Need to check on everyone,” Warden Tenn said. “Make sure nobody’s died. Or killed anybody else.”
I chuckled. “At least you can be sure that Fallon and Darcy are doing well. Will you guys let Warden Hallum take you home in the new ambulance? It would certainly shorten your journey.”
“Probably not,” Warden Tenn said. “Then we’d have to tow our own slicer back.”
“Besides, I kind of like going on long road trips and camping with this guy,” Tasha said, her cheeks dimpling.
“Even in the winter?” I asked on a gasp.
“Yes!” Tasha said. “If you can believe it!”
Her husband looked very pleased with himself. “Hallum is not the only warden at this table capable of keeping a woman warm.”
Well. That certainly sounded dirty.
With Shiloh giggling, Tasha blushing fiercely, and Warden Hallum still watching me from across the table, I finally tucked into my food.