Chapter 19 Cadence #2
I watch as Zach chews that thought over, his jaw muscle ticking which indicates to me that he's most likely not too fond of the idea.
“Zach, we have to.” I reach for his free hand and step closer. He dips his forehead to mine and I can sense a wave of dread wash over him. “We have to tell him that we are-”
“That we are what, Sunshine?” His tone dips to a deep whisper as he opens his eyes up to mine. “That we're together?
“Well, are we?” I lift my head, still holding his hand in mine as I search his eyes for clarity, because I suppose now is the time to get it.
I’ve never really thought about a label, even though Ry kept referring to us as a situationship.
I just always just knew that being with Zach made me happy.
But now that I think about it, how is Bray or anyone else going to be able to get on board and be supportive of us if we don’t even know what us is?
I wait as every emotion I can possibly feel floats between me and the man before me.
Time has stopped and also zoomed past us, we've seen eye to eye and we've had a few disagreements.
But if there's anything I know more than anything in this world is that nothing feels more real than what I feel when I'm with Zach.
“Cadence, can I tell you something?” He asks and I nod my head silently at him.
“Your brother once made me swear to protect you,” he starts.
“To look after you. I knew deep down that for me, it was never going to be an easy task.
Because I always knew how important you were to me and I knew it was going to be hard not to fall for you.
" He closes his eyes and I can't help but to squeeze his hand, trying to process what he's saying myself.
"I had no choice but to keep my distance over the years because I always thought I needed to protect you from me too.”
“Why would I need protection from you, Zach?”
He sighs “Because everyone I’ve ever loved always leaves.”
I shake my head, desperate to get him to stop believing that. “That’s not true.” I declare. “I really hope you don’t believe that, Zach.”
“It’s always felt like that,” he says. A somber tone laced in his words.
Zach lifts a finger, putting it under chin and uses it to lift my head up to look at him.
“But with you, I want to take that risk. I think it'll be worth it, Cadie. Lately, and for the longest time, you’re the only thing that seems to make things feel better. You make it all seem like everything is possible.”
His words travel straight to my ears and down to my heart, a sound of praise and admiration I don't think I can say I've ever heard before.
“Zach…” I let my words fade, emotional to what I’m hearing and clueless on how to respond. I had no idea that I had that kind of impact on anyone, yet alone on Zach. “What are you trying to say?” I ask, seeing a look in his eyes.
“I’m saying," he leans in and whispers, "that I want you to be my girlfriend, Cadence.”
A tear forms in the corner of my eye as I feel the rapture permeate from his words. It slips down gently, falling over my cheek and down to my jaw, though still, I keep my eyes firmly on his.
Zach doesn't say a thing as he reaches for me, pulling me in for a kiss. And the bliss of this moment seeps into my soul, gripping me like there’s no tomorrow.
I’m in heaven. I’m convinced of as much now.
And I feel it. I feel the way my soul reaches for his and dances along the edge of happiness together.
I feel like of all the things in the world, Zach could be my favorite.
I feel right for the right person and my body feels different for the right person, just as Ry said I would.
"Why are you crying?" Zach swipes at the tears and I don't really know what to say. Except I do. I can feel it. It’s going to happen. Everything about this man and everything he’s done for me and said to me nurtures this moment and fosters a space where I believe that nothing else is true other than the fact that circumferences my heart
I'm going to say it. I take a deep breath and steady my eyes over his, leaning into his touch for purchase.
"I love you," I say and in no time at all, Zach leans down and kisses me. I can feel his smile pressing against my lips before he pulls away. And the soft, fleeting gesture was all I needed to feel the reciprocation of that feeling and as if that wasn't enough…
“I love you, Cadence," he whispers back and my heart feels like it could burst out of my chest. But then I repay his words in my head.
“Wait," I start, pinching my brow inward. "Don't you mean, I love you, too?”
“No, little one. I mean, sure. But I don’t really love you in addition to you loving me. I just love you.”
My heart melts and I don’t know how much more I can take of us having to hide this. Because this feels too big and too real and too perfect to contain and on top of that.
Zach leans down and presses his mouth to mine. His kiss melts against my lips as I lean into him and I feel like I could stay here forever. The sun beating down on us, the sounds of the water in the background. Just us and a moment where we don't have to hide from anyone.
We finally pull away, realizing we've spent far too long out here so we say our goodbyes and take off in different directions heading to where we need to be. But it’s not more than a few moments later when I get a text from him.
I forgot to ask you what color dress you were thinking about wearing?
Hmm…
I text him back, I hadn’t thought about it just yet, but then something comes to mind as the little sunflower charm on my bracelet glints in the sun.
Purple.
I respond.
Okay. I can do that.
But why purple?
My heart aches. I know this is going to hit him and that’s not my intention but there’s only one reason. And I’m reminded of her every time I put on the bracelet she made for me before she died.
For Sophie.