Chapter 20 Zachariah
Zachariah
Are you nervous for tonight?
I won’t be as long as you’re there.
I’ll be on the field, remember? Gotta get pictures of Haper High's best player.
A little distraction never hurt no one.
You know… the scouts that are coming tonight aren’t just my brother, right? They’re gonna be looking at you too.
I know, Cadie.
You’re going to do fine. And then this time next week, you’ll have offers flooding your emails.
Thank you for believing in me.
I’ve always believed in you.
What time will you be at the stadium?
About an hour before kickoff. Ryen is gonna be here soon so we can get ready and then we’re gonna grab food before we leave.
Well, if we can make it happen, I’d love to see you before I play.
Zach, can you promise me something?
Yes.
We need to tell Brayden about us. And not just that we’re going to homecoming together. Everything. But I think he needs to know that we’re also going to the dance together.
I know. I was thinking about that too. I was thinking about telling him about the dance before the game. But then I know I’ll want to tell him the rest.
But the scouts…
I know Cadie but idk. I feel like we’re going to be springing this on him no matter what.
It did happen kind of fast.
Not really. We’ve had feelings for each other for a long time, we just never knew how to tell each other.
I’m nervous.
Don’t be. I’ll take care of it. I’ll see you tonight, little one.
You’re gonna do great, Zach!
I lock my phone screen and let my mind go through the motions as I lay in my bed.
Tonight is the big night. Homecoming game night, under the lights, against our second biggest rival.
And knowing that scouts from colleges all over flew in to see this game, makes it that much more exciting.
I also got word of it earlier in the day that the game sold out, meaning the stands will be packed tonight, turning the pressure on that much higher.
But these things never really affect me. No, at least not until I’m on the field, then I start to feel the adrenaline kick in.
It also might be prevalent to state that during this time, my focus is kind of elsewhere and my nerves are a product of something else entirely.
How the fuck am I going to tell Brayden that I’m dating his sister?
But I have to do it. I just have to. If I don’t, it’s going to get harder to figure out to just tell him.
Things with Cadence lately have been so good. It almost doesn’t feel real. But there’s no pressure whenever we’re with each other and she doesn’t make me talk if I don’t want to but sometimes, I do.
We’ve talked about the divorce a few times, and she brought up Sophie one night so we stayed up texting about her. I realize that talking about her really does help me feel less void of her presence, because I’ve been bottling up my pain due to her loss for so long.
And then a few days ago at the fountain, the mention of her favorite color and how Cadie wanted to incorporate it into our homecoming outfits was so considerate.
I really do love the girl. Hell, I think I always have but that feeling is scary to admit.
Maybe it’s because I don’t know what being in love feels like so the feeling had me confused for so long.
Maybe it's because I thought I didn’t deserve the kind of love that Cadence had shown me, or I just didn’t know that it was going to stay so I avoided it.
But I can’t avoid it anymore. I don’t want to. I love her.
I almost told her over the weekend at camp, when she was curled up into my arms but then I heard a little snore escape her mouth and I knew she had fallen asleep.
I definitely have to find a way to tell Brayden and as I stare at the wall of my bedroom, knowing that I have to leave in about twenty minutes to get to the school, I feel this sudden wave of courage to do it now.
It’s strong. The only problem is, he’s not here so, unfortunately, I have to resort to texting him.
Shitty, sure, but I need to get it out now, otherwise I’ll lose the motivation and procrastinate even more.
I sit up and reach for my phone, typing out my message to Bray before pushing send.
Hey man, can I talk to you about something?
yeah, dude. leaving the house in ten, what’s up
Did you know that Cadie is going to homecoming alone?
yeah, honestly that’s how it should be
Well can I be honest with you?
sure
If it were Sophie, I wouldn’t want her to go alone.
dam…
I’m being selfish, aren’t I
I just think that everyone deserves to experience their senior year to the full extent, ya know?
so, what do u think I should do
Well, I feel like since it’s so last minute and I didn’t end up asking anyone else, that maybe I could just take her?
u’d wanna do that
Of course, man. I mean, that’s not weird is it?
I guess not
I just think that maybe if anything, it’s expected in a way. I don’t know. I guess I just felt kind of bad and I’m free and I don’t really see what the issue is.
yeah, okay man. I appreciate u looking out for her
Of course. So, you're cool with it?
yeah, I mean… just as long as ur not planning to, like, hook up with her or date her or anything
Fuck.
It’s like he already knows and he's trying to shut it down ahead of time. Either that or he really is dead set on making sure that I don’t date Cadence for whatever reason. But the problem is, I already am.
I gotta go. we’ll chat later
Yeah, see you at the game.
I groan. That didn’t go as planned. But at least I know for sure that he’s aware that his sister and I will be going to the dance together; at least that can prepare him for the bigger news. I think to just text him again.
I am dating your sister.
And then I can put my phone away and deal with him at the game tonight, but I don’t want to anger him and I wouldn't want him to bother Cadie about it. So instead I just jump off my bed and start to gather my things. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to talk to him tonight again or even tomorrow before the
I made a promise to Cadence, and I don’t intend on breaking it.
The whole crowd breaks out into a roar as the guys rush into the end zone and lift me up into the air. The football is still in my hand, so I raise it up, cheering as the victory we just won ignites everyone in the stands.
I see a flash strike like lightning in front of me, and I look over to the sidelines. Cadence is holding the camera as she snaps a photo of this moment and I present her with the biggest smile.
The team puts me down and we all rush to the center field for handshakes before jogging back into the locker room.
But I so badly want to detour. I want to veer off to the side and go to my girl, give her a hug and celebrate with her.
I can tell she wants that too but instead, I jog past here, heading in with the guys.
“Zachariah Loft, my boy!” Coach starts as the guys all huddle in.
“Seven fucking touchdowns, kid. Everyone, give him a round of applause.
The boys start clapping and hooting, but I simply wave off the congratulation away as I shout, “Ya boy had a killer arm all night.” I point to Bray who smiles at me, everyone now patting him on his back.
The game was a complete shut out. Forty-nine to zero and the win feels beyond amazing. Everyone performed their absolute best and the crowd was full and stacked with so much support.
I feel my phone ring in my bag as I load my gear into my locker and I grab for it.
I told you you could do it.
Cadence.
A smile breaks loose. Because she was right. I killed it tonight. But then my chest aches a bit, hating how I couldn’t run up to her, but I know soon, we’ll be alone again.
“Zach, come take us out,” Coach Shaw waves me over and I drop my phone, heading back to the huddle. And on three, we all shout the team's name.
Everyone chants, screaming mine and Bray’s name. We both look at each other and just shake our heads. We’ve been dealing with this pretty much our whole life and it still doesn’t feel real sometimes.
I feel my phone buzz again, and it reminds me, maybe now I can try and talk to Brayden again. Maybe getting him in a good mood might help soften the blow.
I lean over to him and whisper in his, “Gotta tell you something.”
He immediately leans to respond, but before he can he’s pulled away by some of the guys.
Fuck. I’m never going to be able to tell him. And the longer I wait, the more impossible it seems.
I owe it to both Bray and Cadence to do the right thing here and just deal with the outcome after. I just hope I get the chance to do so before it’s too late.