17. Chapter 17
The club was a welcoming respite from the chaos of the house. I’d come here tonight to blow off some steam before Isabella and I were scheduled to leave. Bambi was working tonight, and my eyes drifted toward her, but my dick didn’t stir.
So much for that idea.
“Dancer.” Sebastian didn’t ask if the seat beside me was taken before claiming it.
“Needed a breather, too?” I asked with a smile.
The girls were all in an uproar at home, rushing to pack last-minute. I had that shit done three days ago. I braced myself as Sebastian settled in and studied me. I knew in my gut that this conversation was inevitable. It didn’t surprise me in the least that he was here tonight as well.
The lead-up to our departure had only gotten more tense as the day drew near. Sebastian was struggling with every bit of this bucket list business with his sister. For once in my life, I was glad I didn’t have siblings. Loving someone that fiercely looked exhausting.
“You’d think Isabella was moving away forever or something with the amount of tears shed.” He scoffed, draining the whiskey in his glass.
“Did you expect anything different?” I asked.
“No, not really. Just don’t entertain thoughts of traipsing all over the South looking for Winter,” he said quietly. “Hope makes people reckless.”
“I will do my best to dissuade her, but your sister is one stubborn woman. If she feels like there is the slightest chance she could bring her home, she would. Did you hear the latest?” I asked, keeping with the theme of Winter.
“Waiting on the wedding plans for Marcel and Victoria? Yeah, I swear these fools don’t understand that the possibility of finding the woman is going to be damn near impossible. I get they want her to attend it and all, but I don’t know.”
The tension slipped out of him in a thin stream of air. Our eyes locked, and he spoke again. “The Kings have done everything aside from torturing Mikhail to get answers of her whereabouts. He swears he has no idea.”
I slammed my drink back and sneered. “Liar, the lot of them. I swear I hate that man.”
Sebastian raised an eyebrow. “That sounds personal. I wasn’t aware you were so acutely acquainted with him.”
“Yeah, when I was young, there were always stories about him and Fedorov. I know he tried to paint a saintly image to Kinsley, but I don’t buy it. And it is personal. He threatened my family once.”
“Does tiny tot know?”
I shook my head, not wanting to focus on the memory of that night. He’d slipped into our house the night Kinsley’s family was buried.
“No, and she doesn’t really need to.” Looking to steer the conversation away from Kinsley’s connection to her grandfather, I changed the subject. “I’m curious about something. Are the Kings waiting to collar Kinsley until they find Winter, too?”
“That’s the plan. Not sure how wise it is. What if Winter hates the idea or can’t understand why Kinsley would agree to it? That’s too much to place at risk in my opinion but she told Alek no babies until then.”
I shook my head because it was true. She could be so willing and obedient, but when she felt strongly enough about something, you could forget about trying to change her mind. She and Isabella were two peas in the same goddamn pod.
“Well, I guess it’s an excellent thing Kinsley has no idea the collar exists.”
It was true. The guys were still working through some of her issues, and while they were one hundred percent sold out for her; they knew she wasn’t ready. I was still learning the ins and outs of collaring.
I knew enough to know it was a serious commitment. It was one not to be taken lightly, and with this group, never within the first year of living the lifestyle. They believed if it was right, then it would withstand the time limit.
“So, question for you, I’m aware of the significance of the collaring ceremony, especially. But who actually is going to place it on her neck? And more importantly, does that mean she belongs more to one than the others?”
“Alek, for sure, will secure the collar. You know how much he loves to wrap his hands around her neck. I actually suggested Nik get her a bracelet. Ivan’s contribution will be an ankle bracelet.
So to answer your question, they will all own her.
Completely, and in every way. I wouldn’t be surprised if the dynamic shifted to a full power exchange. ”
“What about you? Think you’ll ever collar a woman?” I asked, curious about the aspect of committing to a permanent relationship in such a manner.
“No. I committed to a girl fully, a long time ago. Never again.” He stared down at the amber in his glass like it might answer back. Bitter notes of regret laced his next words. “You know my life wasn’t always this.”
“What do you mean?”
He waved his hand around the club. “I was going to be a solicitor at one time in my life. Just like my father. A standard nine-to-five family man. Went to school, passed the bar and everything.”
“What changed?”
“I lost all desire to live that life after I realized Vanya wasn’t coming home. I tried to create the opposite of that life for myself. I rebelled internally anyway, somehow found this. It filled the void.”
I nodded, trying to reconcile the man I knew—the control he lived and breathed—with someone rebelling. It was times like these that I felt the age gap between us more deeply. I’d always played by the rules.
Even when I stepped into this world, I knew there was a lot to learn. So that’s what I was doing. Studying. Asking questions. Making sure I understood the lines before I dared approach them.
The idea of burning down a life simply because grief hollowed it out unsettled me more than I cared to admit.
“In retrospect, it was for the best. Who knows where I might have ended up? And by no means do I feel unfulfilled. I like my life. Quite a bit, actually. But do you want to hear something insane?”
“You’ve never struck me as a man who confesses insanity lightly,” I said. “Let’s hear it.”
He wasn’t one to open up about Vanya, especially with me.
With me not having ever met her, it made sense.
Those conversations he saved for Alek and, occasionally, Marcel.
Which always surprised me, with Marcel being the counselor of the group.
I chalked it up to their level of closeness and the history they shared as family friends.
He cleared his throat and signaled to the bartender for a refill.
“I started dating a girl when I was at Cambridge. We dated off and on for three years. If you’ve ever wondered why no one gives me shit about settling down anymore is because I tried it once.
In our final year, I decided to get more serious. Exclusivity.”
This was all new information to me. How the hell did he get from Cambridge to here? I tried fitting the image of him into a nine-to-five gig and came up empty. Not that he wasn’t intelligent enough to be a solicitor. It was more his persona—the Torturer—which was what I knew him as.
Of course, there were layers to him. We all had them. But of all the guys, he was the one more closed off. Why it hadn’t occurred to me before, I don’t know. The love he felt for the Kings’ sister must have been unique in ways I’d never understand.
“Don’t look so shocked. It’s how I know soulmates exist and are a once in a lifetime deal.”
“What happened that changed your plan?” I asked, almost afraid he’d close back up.
“Guilt. Vanya’s remains were returned, along with a family heirloom and a note, and I knew right then and there. It was payback for moving on.”
“What? But how?”
I was genuinely confused about how he was trying to make it make sense. How did finding her remains after she’d been gone for years equate to payback?
“Forget it. I don’t know why I brought it up.”
“Maybe because it still matters,” I said. “Doesn’t make you superstitious or anything. Makes you human.”
“Yeah, well right before they found Vanya, I had this feeling. Like something had already been decided and I just hadn’t been informed yet.” His jaw tightened. “I have it again. Maybe that does make me superstitious.”
I studied him then, really studied him. This wasn’t the Torturer holding court at his club. This wasn’t the man issuing orders or negotiating deals. This was someone who loved deep enough to believe the universe kept score.
I respected that about him. About all of them.
They didn’t do things half-assed. They didn’t half-commit.
When they loved—when they chose—they did it entirely.
And somewhere in the back of my mind, a thought flickered.
If I ever stepped wrong with Isabella, I wouldn’t just be losing her. I’d be forfeiting this, too.
The brotherhood.
“I know I can’t stop Isabella from doing this insane list of hers,” he said evenly. “But if she comes back broken in ways she wasn’t when she left…that will sit at your feet, Brother.”
The use of the moniker landed heavier than the threat did.
Brother. It wasn’t thrown around lightly in this crew.
It was earned in blood, in silence, in shared secrets and shared sins.
I hadn’t grown up with them, but somewhere along the way these men had carved out space for me anyway. I was one of them.
The idea of disappointing him would be a hell of a lot worse than his anger.
“Death Squad member or not,” he added for emphasis.
His mood once more shifted and his expression hardened. The way his jaw clenched, along with his penetrating gaze, was enough to convince me he’d absolutely kill me, with no qualms, if Isabella didn’t make it home in one piece.
“I’ll take care of her, just as I would Kinsley.”
“See that you do. Because none of this shit is sitting right with me.”
I nodded solemnly, weighing his words and then choosing my own carefully, I spoke.
“Bella and I are friends, nothing more. She is off-limits and even if she weren’t, I knew the cost of crossing the line.
I enjoy being a part of this family. More than I can probably put into words.
I wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize that, Brother. ”
And I meant it. Sebastian’s gaze softened at my words. A flicker of respect shone in his eyes. I rolled my neck, forcing my body to unclench.
“Glad to hear that.” Sebastian surprised me with his next words. He was done with the conversation about family. “When you get back, I’d like to discuss the next steps the club is making. I’ll need your help more than ever now that the guys aren’t as hands-on.”
“Sounds ominous. You looking to get out?” I asked nervously.
“Hell no.” Sebastian looked at me like I’d grown a second head. “I want to incorporate some games and do some themed nights. We’ll be opening the membership applications as well. We do it every few years. It’s time. Things have become…predictable.” He swirled the liquid in his glass.
“Maybe from where you sit,” I said with a grin. Bambi and Allison were now dancing together, and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. Both of them were staring in my direction.
He chuckled affectionately. “I forget you haven’t been doing this with us for years. I booked the red room. Why don’t you take those two and use it?” He notched his head toward the two women dancing.
“Nah. I honestly just came for a drink. I’m good. Trying to get my head around the upcoming week.”
“I insist. God knows you won’t be doing any fucking while you’re around my baby sister. Notice I didn’t say with my sister. Number three on her list is not happening anytime soon. I expect you to ensure that it doesn’t.”
The need to get the last word in was just one more thing the Caruso siblings had in common with one another. I nodded and slipped from the bar stool.
“Good boy,” Sebastian said with a smirk and a fucking wink. Somehow that made it worse.
“Fuck off,” I said with a grin. “Thanks for the room.”