18. Chapter 18
The controlled chaos in my room was nothing compared to the whirlwind of emotions swirling inside me. The large suitcase I’d packed sat open on my bed. Everything was neatly folded and had been for two days.
It was only open for the last-minute things, like my makeup bag and bathroom stuff. I shuffled things around and placed the last of the items in. Zipping it up, I did a once more last-minute check to make sure I had everything I needed.
A part of me still struggled to come to terms with what this trip was going to entail. I was fifty-fifty on expectations. All I knew was that it was going to be one hell of a roller coaster. My eyes landed on the bookshelf.
The flight over was going to be long. Might as well bring a book. It would make Tori’s heart happy to know I was bringing a part of her along. I strolled over and grabbed one at random before shoving it into my backpack.
Despite a tiny bit of fear, there was a thrilling sense of freedom, knowing I was embarking on a journey unlike anything I had ever known. I reached for my phone on the nightstand. The list.
I’d typed it up so I didn’t have to carry the physical copy around. The last person I wanted to accidentally see it was Hannah. My thumb hovered over his name for a second longer than necessary before I tapped out a message.
PRINCESS:
Copy of my list for your phone. Make sure Hannah doesn’t have the code to it.
The message whooshed away. Immediately three dots appeared.
Then they disappeared. I swallowed. Why did I even mention her?
Now it sounded like I cared. Which I didn’t.
Not really. Not in a way that mattered. Except…
I didn’t like the idea of her knowing things about us.
About me. And I didn’t trust her one bit.
The dots danced again.
PASHA:
She doesn’t. I changed it months ago to something she’ll never guess.
Months ago? That shouldn’t have done anything to me. It absolutely did, though.
PRINCESS:
If you say so.
I attached the file and hit send before I could second-guess myself. Almost instantly, another message came through.
PASHA:
The code is 180525.
I stared at the numbers. What the hell was happening? He just willingly gave me his code. A small, traitorous flutter started low in my stomach. Not because of the code itself—but because of what it meant.
Trust. Or at least the appearance of it. And that felt more intimate than it should have. Suddenly, I was acutely aware that we were about to pretend to be something we weren’t.
PRINCESS:
You didn’t have to share it with me. But thanks.
I stared at my screen, debating whether to add something else. A joke. A tease. A deflection. Before I could come up with something, he responded.
PASHA:
Well, I am your boyfriend for the next ten days at least. You never know when you might need it. Did you catch the significance?
Boyfriend.
Even fake the word had my stomach dropping ridiculously. I looked back at the numbers, studying them.
PRINCESS:
It’s a date, yeah? Operation take out the trash?
PASHA:
One and the same. See, this is why we’re going to rock this whole dating thing.
I rolled my eyes, but my lips betrayed me by curving upward. Rock this whole dating thing. God help us both.
I stared at his name at the top of our thread. Pasha.
It had been there forever, it seemed. It was just his name, relatively detached if you thought about it. Except we weren’t anymore. Not really. I tapped into his contact settings before I could overthink it. My thumb hovered over his name for a moment. This was ridiculous. It was just a label.
Still. He’d called himself my boyfriend. If we were going to sell this, then I supposed we should commit. I changed his name. Not to something sickly sweet. I wasn’t unwell. But something that would make me smirk every time my phone lit up.
Then, because I clearly had a flair for chaos, I backed out and changed my passcode, too. 180525. If we were pretending, we might as well synchronize. I snapped a screenshot of his new contact name and sent it.
PRINCESS:
Updated accordingly. Try not to let it go to your head.
The dots appeared almost immediately.
LEV:
Bold move, Princess. Are you sure you’re ready for that level of commitment?
I huffed a quiet laugh, shifting from one foot to the other.
PRINCESS:
Just leaning into the narrative is all.
LEV:
Mm. Dangerous. I love it.
I shook my head and typed before my courage wavered.
PRINCESS:
If you say so. I hope I don’t embarrass the hell out of us.
That one sat there for half a second longer before I hit send. It was honest, but it left me feeling exposed. When his response didn’t immediately come, I typed out a joke, but then his reply came through.
LEV:
You won’t. Trust me. We’re going to have the time of our lives.
My stomach flipped. Time of our lives, huh?
For a fake dating arrangement, he sounded entirely too confident.
And the worst part? A small, reckless part of me wanted him to be right.
I pocketed my phone and took one final glance around the room.
If there was anything I’d forgotten, I could always pick it up once we landed.
Kinsley came barreling through the door. “Bash says you’re going to be late if you don’t leave. I secretly want to tie you down—”
Laughter ripped from my chest before she could finish. She gave me a crooked smile.
“Not like that. Damn, I’m gonna miss you so much. I know it’s important and you’re going to find yourself, but don’t get lost along the way. And please come back to me. To us. Promise.”
“Baby girl, she will.” Nik appeared behind her like he’d been summoned by her distress. He gathered her into his arms. “She loves us too much to stay away forever, and Sebastian will string Pasha up by his balls if he doesn’t bring her home.”
“That’s not very nice. It might impact his ability to have babies,” Kinsley sniffled, dissolving into full-blown sobs. “He has to have babies, lots of them. We made a promise.”
Nik’s mouth twitched. “The only babies you’ll be—”
Kinsley swatted his chest without looking up. “Not with me. We made a pact, though. One of his babies will marry one of our babies.”
Nik rubbed slow circles on her back. “I can get on board with that. Maybe we should revisit our contract, bump things up a bit in the timeline.” He smirked at me over her head.
“No. He has to get serious, and we have to approve of the woman first. It can’t just be anyone, right Isabella? Plus Winter.”
I choked. “As long as it’s not Hannah or a Hannah two-point-oh we’ll be fine.”
Kinsley’s sobs hitched into something louder. That was my cue. I crossed the room and peeled her from Nik’s hold. He released her with a patient sigh, already knowing she wasn’t done. The second she was in my arms, she crumpled.
When deep emotions hit, all her daintiness fell by the wayside. She went all in. Full body, shoulders shaking, mascara running. I tightened my arms around her, pressing my cheek against the top of her head.
“I’ll only be gone for a little while. I promise I will come home. ”I cupped her face and made her look at me. “You’re not getting rid of me ever.”
Her bottom lip trembled, and big, fat tears streaked down her cheeks. She flung her arms around my stomach, desperately clinging to me. It was times like this that reminded me why I loved her so much. At the heart of it, she was still afraid of being alone.
Pasha appeared in the doorway, clearly having come to retrieve me. Our eyes met, and he raised an eyebrow at the spectacle in front of him.
“Make sure Pasha doesn’t lose you.” She sniffled into my shirt. “Take care of him for me. It’s important, okay? And he really does need his balls—”
“Okay, hold up. Why are you discussing my anatomy?” he blurted.
Nik erupted in laughter and clapped him on the back hard enough to make him stumble half a step.
“I’ll explain it all later on the plane,” I said.
Kinsley wasn’t going to let go.
“Nik,” I called, laughing despite myself.
“No, you can’t go,” Kinsley exclaimed, doubling down on her grip. “What if you need me?”
“That’s what phones are for, baby girl. Come on, let her go,” Nik coaxed.
She shook her head violently, her fingers digging into my sides. “No, she can’t go. I’m not ready. It’s too far away, farther than France, by thousands upon thousands of miles.”
Nik exhaled through his nose, patience firmly intact. He pried her fingers away from me one by one, untangling her like a stubborn vine. With a resigned sigh, he hooked an arm around her waist and lifted her clean off the floor.
She shrieked as he tossed her over his shoulder like she weighed nothing. Her thick brown hair spilled down his back in waves.
“Put me down right now,” she demanded, pounding her fists against him.
A sharp crack echoed through the room as his palm landed squarely on her backside. A distinctly Kinsley-sized yelp followed.
He winked at us. “Have fun, you two. Check in daily, or else.”
“Or else, what?” Pasha called after him.
“I’ll send my grandfather to find you. He’ll kidnap you and bring you straight back to me,” Kinsley yelled from over Nik’s shoulder as they disappeared down the hall.
A door slammed somewhere in the distance. Silence settled. With Kinsley no longer squeezing the life out of me, I dragged in a steadying breath.
“You ready?” Pasha asked.
I took one last look around my room. The bed was made. PF was curled up at the foot of the bed. The faint smell of my candles lingered in the air. I was as ready as I was ever going to be. I reached for my suitcase.
“Let me,” he said, already taking it from my hand before I could argue.
We stepped into the hall together. The house felt strangely awake for how early it was. Morning light filtered through the tall windows, stretching long shadows across the hardwood. Somewhere downstairs, I could hear Marcel.
We took the stairs. The rhythm of our footsteps echoed, each step bringing the reality of departure closer. At the bottom, Victoria appeared with a travel mug in hand.