Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
kate
“I’m so glad you called, Kate,” Sophia says after she answers the FaceTime from the comfort of her husband’s tour bus. “Which state are you in today? How are things?”
“New York. This weekend is all East Coast amphitheaters,” I reply, leaning against the arm of the couch with my legs spread out. “And just questioning the meaning of life and what I’m going to do with the rest of mine. You know, a typical Saturday afternoon as Jake Caldwell’s girlfriend.”
Sophia chuckles. “I remember those days. It happened early on in my relationship with Luke when I started to realize my life wasn’t necessarily mine anymore.” She shakes her head gently. “God, it was hard back then. I do not miss those days.”
“Does that mean it gets better? If not, I need you to lie and tell me it does.”
“I wish I could tell you there is a date in the not-so distant future when your life will become easier, but that hasn’t happened to me yet.
” She sighs and adjusts her position on the couch.
“Every serious, successful relationship has a point when your lives need to blend together and you become a true team. Unfortunately, you and I have the bonus of that team, including a manager, publicist, tour manager, record label, assistant, band, and the list goes on. We’re in a relationship with one person, but that person happens to be in a long-term and very committed relationship with a lot of other people.
All of which depend on him for their livelihood. It can make things…complicated.”
“Tell me about it,” I reply, quickly getting Sophia up to speed on what’s been happening and how I’m feeling.
“How did you handle the boredom on tour? It was fun for a while, but now I can’t help but think of all the other things I could be doing if I weren’t stuck on this damn bus.
I’m tempted to take a break for a couple of weekends. ”
Sophia’s expression becomes solemn, and she briefly looks away from the screen, almost like she’s checking to see whether anyone else is around. “I wouldn’t advise that.”
My face scrunches, confused by her comment. “Why not?”
Her shoulders fall. “It’s not something I like to talk about, but I don’t want you to endure what I went through. It was one of the worst times of my life.”
“You don’t have to tell me. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“It’s okay. Remember how I mentioned Luke and I were very on-again, off-again the first year we dated?”
I nod silently, curious where she’s going with this.
She blows out a loud breath. “One of the times we were off-again, he ended up sleeping with someone else—a fan who he met at the concert. It was nothing more than a quick weekend hookup.” She pauses for a few seconds.
“He didn’t tell me about it because we weren’t together when it happened.
I didn’t find out until the gossip started circulating on social media a few months later.
We were back together by that point, and the same woman tried to reconnect with him via DMs. He politely shot her down, and let’s just say, she did not take it very well. ”
“Oh.” My stomach plummets, thinking about how it must’ve felt to be in Sophia’s shoes. To learn that type of information from someone else, not the man you love.
“The online hatred of me was already pretty strong. No one wanted me to be with Luke because it made him unavailable. Probably the same shit you’re experiencing.”
“Yep.”
“It all came to a head when I didn’t travel with Luke for a few weekends in a row because I was attending a friend’s wedding. This lovely piece-of-work decided to frame their past encounter as one that had recently happened. Claiming Luke had left me for her.”
My mouth drops open. “Holy shit,” I gasp.
Shaking her head, Sophia looks up briefly, almost like she’s remembering exactly what she went through in detail.
“Luke was trending on social for weeks. All the gossip sites picked it up. The only positive was that the online chatter about me became equally split between people who hated me and those who genuinely felt bad for me because Luke had allegedly cheated on me. It took months before the story died down. And for a long time, every weekend I’d stay home from his tour would lead to more outrageous claims.”
Every muscle in my body tenses, my hand covering my mouth in disbelief at what she experienced. Terrified I could go through something similar. Not that Jake would cheat. But then again, Luke didn’t either, and the perception was he did.
“So, my best advice is to show up every weekend for as long as you can. Once it’s clear to the fans you’re not going anywhere, there’s less of a risk of taking time off from touring with him.
Until then, the haters will use your boyfriend’s previous womanizing ways to create drama if you’re not around. ”
“I’m so sorry you had to go through that,” I reply, unsure what else to say.
“I’m over it, for the most part—it happened such a long time ago,” she replies calmly.
“As for determining the meaning of life and what to do with yours. I’d love to lie and pretend you can have a successful career on your own.
Maybe that’s possible when you’re dating or married to a celebrity in a different industry, but not in country music.
There is an unspoken expectation that his career should come first. It’s a combination of old-school beliefs and the realities of this job. ”
“Great. So, I’m not crazy?”
“Nope. Welcome to the super special club where you’re expected to be independent to prove you’re not a gold digger when you’re dating, while prioritizing his career over yours.
It does get better when you’re married. The online hate simmers down a tiny bit.
” She winces before continuing, “It didn’t take long before I couldn’t keep up with my sales career and spend the amount of time I wanted with Luke.
I quit my job less than three months after we got married. ”
I chew on the corner of my lower lip, pulling my legs to my chest. “Was that your decision or Luke’s?”
“One hundred percent mine. Luke would’ve never asked me to do it, and I highly doubt Jake would pressure you to give up anything. But that doesn’t mean you won’t feel the need to make changes, especially if you’re already feeling the struggle.”
Yep. Definitely feeling the challenges of balancing my career and my personal life. And questioning how I can balance the two long-term.
“I’ve droned on about the negative side of this lifestyle and probably could for hours. There are so many benefits in addition to being with the man you love. Girl, the clothes. Wait until your first red carpet. You’ll feel like a goddamn princess.”
Sophia and I chat for another twenty minutes, brainstorming how to make this transition easier on me and ultimately coming up with no real solutions.
At the end of the call, I realize it’s unrealistic to assume my life won’t be majorly impacted by being with Jake.
Instead, I need to focus on things I can influence and worry less about everything else.
There will always be someone or something out there wanting to destroy what we have. I just can’t ever let that happen.