Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
jake
Lounging on a picnic blanket in a park with Kate by my side is the perfect way to spend a few hours before the concert.
“I can’t believe you worked with Alex and Max to plan all of this for us,” I say, reaching out to tuck a stray piece of Kate’s hair behind her ear.
There’s almost a luminous glow to her with the way the sun’s hitting it—making her look even more angelic than usual.
A soft smile grows across her face. “I’m glad you like it.
I wanted to do something different since we’re in the same city for two days.
This seemed like the best option to give us some privacy.
” She leans her head against my shoulder.
“I wish we could do this every weekend. Be able to see more of the cities we’re visiting.
Not just the inside of the bus and the amphitheaters. ”
I chuckle, knowing exactly what she means.
I felt the same way when I first started out, thought I’d be able to explore new cities.
Life on the road is the complete opposite.
At least now I get to travel in a luxury bus by myself, rather than sharing one with the rest of the band or, even worse, the van we used for the first few years. Fuck. That was a horrible experience.
“I imagine traveling for my work is probably similar to yours.”
“What do you mean?” Kate asks, her brow furrows slightly as if she can’t fathom how the two could be connected.
“How often do you get to explore when you’re visiting clients? Do you get to see the sights, or is it mainly the inside of conference rooms and a hotel, with a nice dinner occasionally thrown in?”
“Huh. I guess you’re right.”
“See, our jobs are basically the same,” I tease, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and pulling her closer to me. “We should plan to do something like this every other weekend. I’ll make Max and Alex figure out how to make it happen.”
“That would be really nice.” She sounds wistful.
“We can make that one of our goals. Visit as many parks as possible so we know the best ones to take our kids when you all join me on the road,” I say casually.
Kate tenses a bit at the mention of kids, and I immediately know I should’ve kept that comment to myself.
It’s not that we haven’t talked about the future and wanting to have a family—it’s just that Kate’s methodical, needing more time to process everything before moving forward.
Meanwhile, I’m ready to jump into the deep end, no questions asked.
It’s a balancing act, making it clear to Kate that I’m committed to our future, while also not freaking her the fuck out.
“You can see our kids playing here?” she asks, surprising me with her directness.
Based on her initial reaction, I assumed she might want to gloss over it and pretend I never said it. This could be an interesting development.
She adjusts her position, laying her head in my lap and looking up at me.
“Yeah. I think about it a lot. What the future will look like for us. How we’ll be splitting time between two places for the next few years. Getting a dog together. Planning our wedding. What it’ll be like when we have our first child. You know…all the important things in life.”
Smiling, I’m completely mesmerized by her eyes. I slowly drag my fingertips up and down her arm, eliciting a ripple of goosebumps, even though the heat index makes it in the mid-nineties. “There is so much I want to experience with you.”
“Me too.” She closes her eyes while I gently run my hand through her hair.
It’s crazy how much my life has changed in a year.
Before Kate, I’d probably be passed out on the bus or playing video games with the band, definitely not spending the afternoon at a park, watching the clouds roll by.
Now, all I want to do is spend more time with her.
I’ve gone from living to work to working to live.
And I’ve never been fucking happier.
“Where the hell have you been?” Jimmy shouts across the parking lot when Kate and I get back to the amphitheater. He’s probably thirty feet away, and he’s clearly pissed about something. This can’t be good.
“Let me figure out what’s going on with Jimmy. I’ll come find you later,” I say to Kate, pressing a quick kiss to her temple before heading in his direction. Although Jimmy can be dramatic and boisterous, he rarely gets worked up about anything—it’s usually the complete opposite.
“Our glorious leader decides to grace us with his presence,” Jimmy says sarcastically with obvious frustration on his face.
“What’s going on, Jimmy?” I pat him on the shoulder, trying to diffuse the enormous tension he’s carrying.
“Nothing major. Just a bunch of fucking equipment that’s no longer working. We’ve only been scrambling for the past few hours, and you’ve been completely MIA. Not even answering your goddamn phone.”
I wince, remembering how I put my phone on silent when we got to the park and never bothered checking it.
Fuck.
Alex strolls over, barking orders in his headset with a scowl that is more intense than normal.
“I don’t care how much it costs. I need it here in the next hour.
Make it happen,” he snaps at whoever is on the other end.
He stops briefly, squeezing his eyes shut and clenching his fists before he joins us.
“Did Jimmy fill you in on the shitshow we’re experiencing with equipment? ”
“Kinda. Not sure I have all the details,” I reply.
Jimmy throws his hands in the air. “You’d have all of the fucking information if you’d been around.”
“Chill the fuck out, Jimmy. I’ve got it handled,” Alex tries to reduce the tension.
Good luck with that one. Jimmy never gets worked up, so it’s almost impossible to know what to do to calm him down. Alex’s military background makes him a great leader, able to handle any challenges that come his way without breaking a sweat.
“Here’s what you need to know. No one is really sure how, but a bunch of equipment was damaged in transport.
I can’t get it replaced until next week, so we’re going to have to make do with some shitty alternatives.
The hope was you could run another soundcheck with the band before the gates opened, but that’s not possible now, given the time. ”
I groan, tipping my head back in frustration, knowing how problematic minor changes in equipment can be when you’re on stage and haven’t tested any of it out.
While some musicians might be fine with winging it, I’m a stickler for not leaving anything to chance when it comes to a performance, making my band feel the same way.
Although they likely tested out the new equipment, our process also involves all of us running through a section of the show together during a soundcheck.
It’s a routine. A superstition. A requirement for a great show. And now, I’ve screwed that up.
“Fuck. I’m sorry. I had my phone turned off when I was with Kate and forgot to turn it on,” I say, starting to pace.
It doesn’t take long until Shane and Zac join the conversation, voicing their own frustrations.
Shane shoves his hands into the pockets of his jeans, rocking back on his heels, and chewing on the inside of his mouth. It’s his tell when he’s about to deliver bad news, and based on everyone’s non-existent reactions, it appears I might be the only one who doesn’t know what’s going on yet.
“Listen, there isn’t a good way to say this, so I’m going to be blunt.
You’ve changed since you started dating Kate.
We’re all happy for you, but it’s starting to impact the band and crew.
” Shane glances at Alex, who nods. “Your focus has shifted in the past couple of months, making us question where your priorities lie and how it impacts our livelihood.”
I swallow hard, conflicting emotions running rampant through my mind. “Do all of you feel this way?” I ask, watching their faces intently as everyone nods in agreement.
Fuck.
“You went from being almost too committed to your music, where we’d beg you to take a break, to barely being present.
We’ve been on tour for months, and we hardly see you,” Shane replies calmly.
“None of us have heard any of the songs on the new album, even though we’re expected to play some of them in the studio in a couple of weeks.
How are we expected to be prepared when we don’t know what’s going on? ”
Fair point.
“We’ve worked together for more than a decade, and it’s never been like this. It’s like you’re excluding us from everything,” Zac adds.
If my cool-as-a-cucumber drummer is piping up, we’ve got a real problem. Nothing fazes Zac, and he rarely gets involved in any nonsense, preferring to stay focused on his work.
“I see.” I wrack my brain for the best way to respond. What do you say when your closest friends call you out on being absent from their lives? On jeopardizing their careers? When didn’t you anticipate any of these comments?
“Shit. This is not how we wanted to have this conversation. But things came to a head today with the equipment malfunction, and it couldn’t wait until we were back in Nashville to have a proper sit-down.
” Shane rocks on his heels again. “Some of us are worried about what your lack of focus means for the band long-term. If you’ll even continue to tour. Record. All of it.”
“Yeah. Do I need to find a fucking new job?” Jimmy asks, standing with his arms crossed and his face a mix of fear and worry.
And it’s all my fault.
Talk about a figurative punch in the gut.
“No one needs to look for another job,” I state, making eye contact with everyone to reinforce my words.
“I didn’t mean to exclude any of you from the process of making this album.
It’s been a different experience for me since it’s heavily focused on my relationship with Kate.
I guess that led to some unintended consequences. ”
“No shit,” Jimmy mutters, rolling his eyes.
Shane glares at Jimmy, almost like he’s silently telling him to shut the fuck up. Alex doesn’t say a word, listening to the entire conversation with no obvious indication of how he feels about my recent behavior.
“I’m going to keep touring. I can’t promise there won’t be changes to future schedules as Kate and I start to blend our lives, but it won’t significantly impact any of you. I don’t want any of you to doubt my commitment to music or you. I’ll work to fix this. I promise.”
There are silent nods from the group as the tension eases slightly. Not gone completely, but at least Jimmy no longer appears like he could pop a vein in his forehead at any minute.
“Let’s plan on getting into the studio together when we’re back in Nashville on Sunday. We can spend a few days riffing on everything before we have to work with producers to lay down the final tracks.”
“It’s about damn time,” Shane replies, a smile growing across his face. “Cannot fucking wait to hear what you’ve written.”
“Same,” Zac chimes in.
When I glance at my watch, there’s about an hour before I need to start getting ready for the VIP performance and meet-and-greets, giving barely enough time for an impromptu listening session. “How about I grab my laptop and we give a quick listen to my demo tracks on your bus?”
“Fuck yeah,” Jimmy shouts, pumping his fist in the air.
Everyone else takes a calmer approach before splitting up with plans to meet back on the band bus in five minutes.
Looks like I’m not doing as stellar a job at merging my professional and personal lives as I thought.
I’ve spent the past couple of months worried about how Kate was adapting to all the changes, never thinking about how our relationship was going to impact the rest of the team.
It makes me question whether Max, Anna, and Jason are feeling the same way.
If my focus has been hindering their ability to do their jobs effectively.
After running my hands through my hair, I groan loudly, grateful no one is around to hear me.
I need to double down on my career for the next few weeks. At least until the album is done.
Fuck. I’m going to miss looking at houses in Chicago with Kate. The realtor has all the appointments set up next week.
Kate will understand. Or, at least, I hope she will.