Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
PHOENIX
The journey to the monastery is…a little awkward, to say the least.
Kazh banished Ezkai Bjorn and Ezkai Emil to ride at the front with the coachman. It’s only the three of us inside the carriage, with Kazh sitting by my side and Jax lounging on the bench opposite us.
Bloom, Fern and Ezkai Ravenna are in the second carriage behind us.
I’m tight as a bowstring.
We have so little time. Everything can crumble at any minute.
No more messages about Vera came from the Talbots. And Noire’s spies haven’t found anything new either.
The terror that grips my lungs makes it impossible to breathe.
What if it’s too late?
What if I can’t save her?
Jax’s head swivels towards me. I shake my head and snap at him before he even opens his mouth. “Mind your own damn business.”
He raises his palms in the air defensively. Kazh eyes us both.
With a pounding heart, I watch her. She keeps her hands neatly folded over the head of her cane. The fingers of the top hand spasm briefly.
I frown.
That’s odd. Did Kazh get hurt recently, or something?
Kazh’s grip tightens, and I lift my eyes to meet her sharp-as-a-blade gaze.
“It’s foolish, what you two have done,” Kazh murmurs.
I exchange a glance with Jax. He looks amused.
“Knowing you, I’m not surprised, shithead,” she spits at me before I can say anything. She turns her sharp gaze on Jax. “But you. I thought you had more than two brain cells in that pretty head of yours. Apparently not.”
Jax’s eyes widen, and he bites his bottom lip to stop himself from smiling.
I sigh. “What do you mean? What’s so foolish about freeing Jax from prison?”
Kazh turns her face away from us, towards the small window. “By pleading with House Dzuni to allow him to bind his life to yours, you put a target on his back. Now, the whole Ekios knows you’ve got a weakness, General.”
My stomach swirls with unease. “No. That’s not how we presented it. Noire said it’s an ancient ritual—”
“Bah! I don’t care what he says,” she snaps.
“You think there aren’t whispers about you two?
That the Order of Ezkai, House Dzuni, or Caligos don’t know he helped you win the trials?
” She faces me again and sneers. “How do you think it looks when the General Slayer who assassinated the last General helped you win the trials, huh?”
I blink, at a loss for words.
“And you put him up in a private cell and with personal guards in prison? Sneak around to see him late at night? Even spend the night there?” Kazh shakes her head. “If you have to ask me what’s so foolish, then maybe I did a bad job training you after all.”
My cheeks burn. Anger and shame threaten to choke me. But I know she’s right.
I was too in my head to see it in the moment. But when she puts it like that…
Kazh waves her wrinkled hand between me and Jax and says with a voice that sends an unpleasant shiver down my spine, “This…there’s no world or scenario in which it doesn’t end in a tragedy.”
My stomach sinks.
Oh gods. I hope she’s wrong.
I exchange a glance with Jax. He looks mildly worried. But from the storm raging inside his chest, it’s clear he’s more than mildly worried.
Another unexpected side effect of this damn fucking bond is that I feel him, at all times. Despite my damn shields.
Without saying anything else, Kazh turns away to watch the mountains outside her tiny window.
Neither of us speak for the rest of the trip to the mountains.
We arrive at the monastery close to midday. The moment I set foot on the solid ground, I’m stunned by the most beautiful view of dark mountains and snowy peaks.
The air here is different.
Closing my eyes, I inhale greedily, filling my lungs to the brim with the crisp mountain air.
Don’t forget to breathe, darling. Or you may faint.
My eyes snap open, and I’m met with a cheeky smirk on Jax’s face. He leans against one of the carriages, one ankle casually crossed over the other, hands stuffed in the pockets of his black leather pants.
Just because we’re bonded doesn’t mean I won’t stab you at night.
His eyebrows shoot up. Aw, you went through all this trouble to free me just so you could murder me yourself? He wiggles his eyebrows, then adds, Twisted.
I narrow my eyes at him. If you annoy me enough, I may change my mind about needing your help.
His smirk deepens. Then I’ll just need to find a new way to prove to you just how useful I can be.
Don’t read between the lines, I tell myself.
I inhale.
Exhale.
Don’t read between the lines, Phoenix.
Jax’s chuckle echoes in my mind.
“You two done yet?” Kazh grumbles, passing me and heading towards the monastery where, by the entrance, four monks are waiting for us.
The urge to defend myself is almost impossible to resist. Almost.
I press my lips into a thin line and follow after her.
“Ezkai General Phoenix Wildarrow,” one of the monks says, stepping forward. “It’s an honor to host you here, in our monastery.”
All four monks bow to me.
“Thank you,” I say. “I appreciate your hospitality and willingness to assist in my journey. What are your names?”
“I’m Ren,” the monk who greeted me first says. He gestures to the fae woman on his right. “Yara.” Then he points at a dark-skinned fae man on his left. “Dravon.” Last, he waves at the silver-haired fae man. “Lireal.”
I nod my head at all of them as Ren introduces his peers. All monks are fae. While not all are young, all are stunning.
Will I ever get used to fae being stunning almost all of the time? I doubt it.
Checking out the monks? Naughty.
My cheeks heat. Fuck off.
“Allow us to show you to your rooms, and then we can head to the dining area where we have prepared lunch for you,” Ren says.
“Sounds great. Thanks,” I murmur and follow Ren inside the monastery.
When we stayed here during the Trial of Wisdom, I was so preoccupied with the trials that I didn’t even notice how beautiful this place is. The limestone floors and walls are neat, the tall ceilings held above our heads by thick round pillars.
Every wall is covered with the most stunning canvases featuring the surrounding mountains during different seasons, the forests and all the hidden fauna. And of course, the dragons.
So much artwork of dragons, it’s hard to look at anything else. The beasts are majestic, their strong, muscular bodies twisting and turning graciously as they float through the sky. White, pink, blue, and red flames sprout from their snouts.
The more I look at those pictures as we make our way through the monastery, the more my anxiety melts, giving way to a different emotion.
Excitement.
I have literal butterflies in my stomach as I remember the day I met my dragon. How could I not have known we shared a bond then?
What if…what if instead of letting it fly free, I would have bonded it that day? In front of everyone’s eyes, during the very first trial.
How different would reality be now?
“General, you’ll be staying here,” Ren says, snapping me out of my thoughts.
I blink and focus on him. He looks nervous as he glances between me, my Ezkai, and Jax.
Ren holds the carved wooden door open for me. I clear my throat and enter the room. Same limestone floors, walls, and domed ceilings. It’s not a lavish suite, the space rather small and bare, as I have grown accustomed to here in Ekios.
I have two floor-to-ceiling wood-paneled windows that overlook the gardens, and between them is a rather small double bed. On the right is a modest armoire, and on the left, a leather armchair is wedged in the corner.
Thankfully, attached to the chamber is my own private bathroom.
“Looks lovely. Thanks, Ren,” I say, turning to the monk.
Ren’s face pales and for a second he’s struggling to find words.
“Traditionally, the Ezkai General always stays in the High Chamber in the east wing of the monastery. Unfortunately, that whole wing is under construction. We weren’t expecting your visit so soon, so we couldn’t get that ready in time. ”
“That’s fine, Ren,” I say and wave him off. “This room is more than enough. We won’t be staying for long.”
Ren clears his throat. “In the High Chamber, there’s the—a separate space for the Blood Sentineal.
Our apologies, but there isn’t any space here for another bed.
I hope your Blood Sentineal doesn’t mind sleeping on the floor.
We’ll bring the floor mattress and prepare a comfortable space to sleep in a moment. ”
For a second, my mind doesn’t register the meaning of his words, so I simply stare at him, mute.
“My… Blood Sentineal—” I mumble to myself.
I glance at the lone bed in the room.
“Tradition demands the Blood Sentineal accompany the Ezkai General at all times,” Ren explains, glancing between me and Jax. “I hope you don’t take offense at the sleeping arrangements. But as I said, we weren’t expecting you so soon, General.”
Oh, for fuck’s sake.
Of course, how else. Jax and I will have to sleep in the same damn room.
Alone.
From the corner of my eye, I see Jax’s mouth twitch up.
Kazh snorts.
I shoot her a glare, and thankfully she doesn’t make any more noises or comments.
“That’ll be fine, Ren,” I say, my words clipped. “No offense taken. I wasn’t planning on visiting again so soon either.”
Ren exhales with relief and smiles at me. “Wonderful, General. Please take your time settling in. We’ll show the rest of the visitors to their rooms, and once you’re ready, the lunch will be served.”
I mumble thanks again and watch as the rest of my group follow Ren down the hall to their rooms. Jax hovers close to me, silent.
I don’t look at him.
But I don’t have to.
His presence is very loud as is.
“You drag me all the way to the northern mountains and there’s only one bed,” Jax finally drawls. “How convenient.”
I turn to face him.
“Convenient to murder you? Yeah. I know.”
Without waiting for his answer, I head inside the room.
Chuckling, he follows after me.
I toss my backpack on the bed and pad over to one of the windows. The gardens outside are vast, and well maintained. A number of monks are working outside, some tending to the greenery while others are watering the flower beds.
Last time we stayed here, we shared a room, too. But it was so different. Vera was with us. And…so many things were different.
Jax yawns. When I turn around I find him lounging on the bed.
He rubs his hard, flat stomach. “I’m starving.”
“Don’t get too comfortable,” I say and cross my arms. “You’re sleeping on the floor.”
He angles his head so he can look up at me. “You know, you were so much nicer to me while I was in prison.”
To that, I have no answer.
It was much easier to not have all my walls up when Jax was behind bars, facing a death sentence. But now that he’s free, and always around…it’s just complicated.
The way Jax looks at me is earnest and real. It’s so rare that I get a glimpse of this side of him.
A knock on the door startles me. My head whips to the side to find two of the monks—Dravon and Yara—stand in the doorway, one holding a folded mattress and another carrying a bundle of linens.
“Apologies, General,” Dravon says, his voice a low rumble. “I hope we’re not interrupting your resting time. If we may, we’re here to set up the sleeping space for your Blood Sentineal.”
I clear my throat. “Of course, go ahead.”
Dravon nods and they enter the room. Jax gets on his feet.
“The lunch is ready if you are, General,” Yara says sweetly.
My stomach is in knots. But anything is better than being stuck in a small space with Jax. So I nod and head towards the door. “Thanks, Yara. We’re starving after a long journey.”