Chapter 26
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
PHOENIX
By the time I return to the monastery, I’m shivering so hard from the cold, my teeth are clattering. Jax marched ahead of me so fast that I lost track of him. When I return to our shared bedroom, he’s not there.
Maybe it’s for the better.
Right now, the less time we spend together, the better.
From the top drawer, I pull out a dry set of Ezkai leathers and start stripping.
I’m trembling so intensely, all I can focus on is peeling the wet leathers off me as fast as possible and pulling on the new set.
So, I completely miss the door opening behind me.
Just as I pull my pants over my hips, a sharp inhale draws my attention.
I glance over my shoulder.
Jax stands frozen in the doorway. His wide eyes are on my naked back, riddled with scars from my Wetran Decarios training and the fire…
His nostrils flare. “Who—who did this to you?”
I snap out of the trance in that moment. I clear my throat and reach for the black long-sleeve undershirt. My hands tremble as I pull it over my head and rush to cover the scars.
Stuffing the undershirt into my leather pants, I turn to face him.
“Me. During my Decarios training in Wetra, we had to cut ourselves a thousand times to pass.” I pause, swallow the lump in my throat.
“And the other scars are from the fire when my parents died. I rushed into the burning house trying to save them and, well, got burned.”
A muscle in Jax’s jaw ticks. But he says nothing. He nods and then gestures to the corridor behind him. “The breakfast is served. Everyone’s already there. Thought I should let you know.”
I grab my leather jacket and slide my arm into it. “Thanks. I’ll be right there.”
I turn away and pull my jacket on. He hovers in the doorway for a heartbeat, but thankfully, leaves.
Left alone, I quietly strap my blades to my waist and hips, and hide a couple in my boots. My hair’s a damp mess. Not so gently, I untangle it with my brush and braid it. When I glance one last time in the mirror, the reflection I find there startles me.
My skin has lost some of its color, which is normal considering the Ekios sun is not even half as strong as in Wetra. My cheeks are once more just as hollow as they were when I first arrived here.
But it’s my eyes that make my stomach drop.
I don’t recognize them.
I can’t afford to think too much about it, though. So, I shake the odd feeling off and head over to the dining room.
The moment I take my seat at Kazh’s side, a friendly monk brings me a plate full of breakfast foods. I smile, nod, and thank him before he walks away. My stomach growls at the sight of scrambled spiced tofu, baked beans, and grilled veggies.
At least my appetite is back.
Not so gracefully, I shove in a forkful of scrambled tofu and groan.
“Fuck, this is good,” I mutter before stuffing my mouth full of beans.
Sitting across from me is Ravenna. She’s almost done with her breakfast, an open book lying next to her plate. With a smirk, she nods and returns to reading.
Kazh gives me a side-eye but says nothing. She doesn’t have to, really. I can imagine all the insults that dance on the tip of her tongue about the way I’m shoving the food down my throat like a wild animal.
But I don’t care.
Once I’m almost done with my plate, Monk Ren and an unfamiliar monk approach our table.
“Good morning,” Monk Ren greets us with a smile and a nod. “Hope your first night at the monastery was pleasant.”
“Absolutely. We appreciate your hospitality, Ren,” I say.
“Our pleasure, General.” Ren looks relieved.
He turns to his friend, a monk with long white hair and a matching long white beard that reaches all the way to his damn knees.
There are a couple dozen beads woven into it.
“I would like to introduce you to Elder Arcon, Keeper of Flame. He’ll be assisting you on your journey, General. ”
I dip my chin in respect at this Elder Arcon. “Thank you.”
Elder Arcon’s eyes are wise and full of mischief. He dips his own chin and presses a fist over his heart to show respect to me. Then he says, “Walk with me, General.”
I glance back at Kazh, who gives me a flat look, and rise to my feet. Ezkai Bjorn, Ezkai Emil, and Jax do, too.
Elder Arcon doesn’t even spare them a glance. “Alone. Dragon lore is only accessible to those on the path.”
I turn to my Ezkai and Jax and nod before I follow Elder Arcon away from the table. He leads me down the winding corridors in silence. For a fae who looks ancient, he moves quickly.
I clear my throat. “May I ask where are we going?”
“Patience, General. You’ll see.”
I bristle at his humorous tone, but don’t show it. Patiently, I follow him a little longer until we finally approach an arch-shaped double door. The wood is carved with the image of two dragons locked in a dance, or a fight. It’s hard to say.
It reminds me of the image carved into the door of my war room back at the Ezkai Castle.
Elder Arcon pushes the door and it smoothly opens to reveal a massive library. I enter after him, and close the door.
The dome-shaped ceiling here has the most intricate mural.
My lips part as I crane my head and try to take in every single detail of the mountains with snowy tops, majestic waterfalls, misty forest, and a number of dragons soaring through the clear blue skies, each wearing scales of different colors.
It’s a peaceful mural. No open jaws, or flames spewing through them.
Elder Arcon clears his throat, drawing my attention to him. He stands farther down between two tall white oak shelves stacked with a number of heavy leather tomes, his hands neatly folded in front of him.
“What compels you to be on this path, General?”
His question is unexpected.
I frown. “They haven’t told you?”
He doesn’t blink. “They may have. But I want to hear it from you.”
This old fae is odd.
But who am I to resist? If I am to do this, I need the monks and their help.
“During the Trial of Wisdom, I faced a dragon. As you may recall, I was the only Ezkai who didn’t murder the dragon they faced.
” He nods. “Going into the trial, I had no intention of slaying a dragon. I had no clue how I’d survive, but I refused to do it.
At one point during the fight, I…there was something odd that passed between me and the dragon.
It was as if I could almost feel the pain I caused the dragon.
I begged the creature to not force my hand, and it listened in the end. That was the only reason I survived.”
Elder Arcon regards me with curiosity shining in his gaze for a long while. The silence stretches, and while it’s not a tense silence, soon I start to fidget under the weight of his stare.
Finally, he hums, nods to himself, and whirls on his heel.
As he moves deeper into the maze of bookshelves, over his shoulder he says, “We keep records of all the Ezkai in history who have bonded a dragon. Some have left fairly in-depth diaries, while others’ journeys are not recorded very thoroughly. ”
I hustle after him. After a couple of minutes, he rounds the corner and his steps halt. I almost walk right into him.
He turns to the shelf that’s almost empty. Only a couple dozen journals are stacked there, neatly labeled with dates and names I don’t recognize.
Except for one.
Ezkai General Kitajo Hiromasa.
It hits me then. These are the records of all the Ezkai in history who have bonded a dragon.
“That’s all?” My head whips towards Elder Arcon.
He smiles and nods. “Not many walk the path. Even less reach the end of it.”
Oh, dear spirits of the gods.
“Why’s that?”
Elder Arcon’s voice is gentle, as if he’s telling me a fairy tale before sleep. “Some fail and give up. Others die trying to reach something that’s not theirs.”
Without a word, I reach for Kitajo’s journal. Our interactions were few and far between. He died too soon, before I could get to know him personally and learn about his relationship to my dad. But still, to this day, I feel connected to the late Ezkai General whose place I took.
I open the journal to find pages full of his thoughts. Every entry is labeled with the date and time. Some even have locations.
Reading through the first couple of pages feels illegal. As if I’m intruding on someone’s privacy. My heart races. I’m terrified of finding Vera’s name, but also curious.
Instead of reading in order, I flip the pages until my eye catches one entry that’s stamped with the location of this monastery:
Killygano Monastery
“Xirog, the Taker of Life. I spotted her last three days ago, by the waterfall. It was the first time I was able to sneak up close enough to get a good look at her gleaming scales and the gory scars she wears. I wonder, who dared to inflict such nasty wounds that left forever marks on a creature as beautiful and powerful? It couldn’t be other dragons.
The slashes remind me of ones a fae-made blade leaves.
No wonder she keeps to herself. Since I started tracking her, she hasn’t spent too much time with her brood.
She keeps to herself.
On the bank next to the waterfall, she was devouring a poor mountain lion with her sharp teeth. I waited until there was nothing but the bones left before I stepped out of my cover.
Feeling brave and confident, I walked out and immediately regretted it.
She snarled at me, the hot air hitting me right in the face even through the distance between us, through the cooling spray of the waterfall.
When she whipped her tail at me and swooped me off my feet, I was too startled to react fast enough. Thankfully, once I was on my ass, she just flew away.
And I was back to zero.
In that moment, though, a terrifying thought dawned on me. I was prepared to battle, to fight, to beg, and to prove myself to her in any way. But it never occurred to me that nothing I do will be enough for her to claim me as hers.
That thought has been haunting me ever since.”
I snap the journal shut and look up at Elder Arcon, who has been patiently standing next to me, waiting. “Dragons can reject us?”