Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
PHOENIX
We’ve been on the road for three days. My head is craned up as I watch the few patches of the clear sky visible through the tree branches sprawling above our heads darken.
Fuck me.
Elder Arcon said it’s three days’ journey to the damn feeding grounds. I look down at the map in my hand. With a finger, I trace the path we’ve been taking. Based on the markings we passed, we’re only two-thirds of our way, which means…at least a day more of traveling. Might be two.
What’s worse is that we haven’t seen any signs of dragons. No broken trees, scratch marks, or dragon scales. Not even glassed sand. Nothing.
I sigh and fold my map before shoving it into the inner pocket of my leather jacket.
Jax rides ahead of me with his back straight, whistling a tune under his breath. Unbothered as ever. Despite the guilt that tickles the back of my neck, I open the door between us.
Just a little peek.
My mind floods with images of the forest, birds lurking in the shadows, and that same tune he’s whistling on repeat.
Annoyed, I shove the door shut. How can he be this unbothered?
I scan the surrounding forest obsessively as we ride forward. I know that anytime now Jax will point at a place somewhere and tell me it’s time to settle for the night. With the dusk falling, it’s hard to see.
Damn my stupid human sight.
Jax’s whistling stops and he pulls on Midnight’s reins so suddenly I don’t notice it until Luna’s steps halt.
He’s looking at something on the left. All I see is a shadowy forest and tall trees as far as my eyes can see. Which isn’t very far…
So instead, I listen. But the creatures and animals that call the forest home are just as loud as before.
“What?” I whisper-yell at Jax.
He looks at me over his shoulder. “There’s something there.”
My pulse speeds up.
Jax jumps off Midnight with so much grace I’m baffled, and without a word, he dashes into the forest.
“Jax! Wait!”
I slide out of my saddle, pat Luna on the neck, and follow him. Branches snap under my feet loudly, moss crunching with each step I take.
Jax is fast, and without his beaming white shirt it’s not as easy to follow him in the thicket. I keep looking back to ensure we can still see the path, and the horses waiting for us.
That’s why I walk right into Jax’s back.
“Oh, shit. Sorry,” I say, and push myself off him.
Every time we touch, goose bumps rise all over my skin. He’s been sleeping wrapped around me every night because it’s too cold for me otherwise. While I’m grateful for the warmth, having his body against mine every night makes things…hard.
We’re already as intimately connected as two people can be thanks to our bond. Physical proximity makes it worse.
“Look at that,” Jax says, pointing at a small clearing in front of us.
It’s not supposed to be here. The bushes are stomped on, and a few trees closest are snapped in half.
A breath hitches in my throat.
“A dragon landed here,” Jax says, stepping into the clearing.
There’s no doubt.
We’re on the right path.
Jax kneels on one knee and picks up something from the ground. When I come closer, I see that it’s a gleaming diamond-shaped metal-looking piece.
“A dragon scale.” I breathe out the words.
I take it from Jax. It’s heavy, and cool to the touch.
“We’re getting closer,” Jax says, rising to his feet. “Let’s settle for the night and pick up where we left off early tomorrow morning.”
I look around the place.
“You want to set up camp here?”
Jax shakes his head. “Nah. It’s too open. And a dragon already landed here before. Who’s to say they won’t do it again?” He looks around. “Oh, you see. There. A base of the mountain. I’ll go check the place to see if there are any empty caves maybe. Stay here.”
Without waiting for my answer, Jax takes off. I’m left alone in this clearing. I look back where we came from. The path and the horses are still visible.
I sigh and inspect the scale in my hand. It’s large, the size of my palm. The ends are sharp. I bet it could pierce skin and flesh with ease.
The back of my neck prickles. I look up, but I’m still alone. Not a single branch, bush, or leaf moves.
But the forest has gone silent.
Deadly silent.
A shiver runs down my spine. Despite my thundering heart, I remain still.
Someone or something is out there. Scary and big enough to quiet the forest creatures.
I can feel eyes on me. The weird feeling crawls under my skin.
In one hand, I grip the dragon scale, while my other finds the dagger strapped to my waist. A bow may be more lethal, but the clearing is small and might not give me enough space if a predator jumps out of the damn forest.
Slowly, I turn around, my eyes scanning the shadows looming under the trees.
It’s so quiet, I can hear every breath of mine. The thundering of my heart.
A branch snaps somewhere in the distance. Another one.
Steps. Someone’s coming my way.
I brace myself and pull the dagger out of its sheath.
Come and get me, motherfucker.
The steps are close.
I’m ready to lunge when Jax pushes two branches aside and appears. The moment he sees the blade in my hand, he freezes.
I curse and lower my blade. He opens his mouth to speak, but I shake my head. I listen to the forest. All the hooting, chirping, and screeching is back.
Frowning, I strap my blade back in place.
“What was that?” Jax asks.
I glance around.
Was I imagining it?
No.
Whatever was watching me from the shadows was very real.
“Nothing,” I say with a shake of my head. “Did you find a place for a camp?”
“Yeah. There’s an empty cave a couple of minutes away. I even found a side path a little farther down where we can take the horses to the cave.”
I gesture in the direction of the horses. “Lead the way.”
Setting up our camp for the night inside a cave is cozier than camping outside surrounded by the forest. After the earlier incident, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep.
The cave is small and damp, dark stone walls covered with moss. Jax built a fire pit in the middle, bigger than usual because we don’t have to worry about predators seeing it.
The fur is soft underneath me. I pull my knees closer to my chest and watch the fire dance. It’s soothing. I knew the journey to finding and bonding a dragon would be hard. But knowing it doesn’t make it any easier.
Jax lounges across from me on a fur blanket. He’s on his side, braced on his forearm. I’m almost used to seeing him in the Ezkai leathers. Weirdly, they suit him. That’s something I never thought I’d say about Jax, but…he could have been an Ezkai if he was born a Decarios. Easily.
“Whatcha thinking about, darling?” Jax asks and pops the last piece of his cheese into his mouth.
I blink, caught eyeing him. Part of me wants to deflect and shut him off. But the other, larger, part of me is curious.
“A thug with the fanciest manners I’ve ever seen, secret assassin–level fighting skills, and wilderness survival skills?” I shake my head. “Who are you, Jax Kregger?”
Our eyes meet over the fire.
Jax’s gaze is dark, full of mischief. “I’ll be whoever you desire, darling.”
Of course his first response is humor.
I may not know much about his past, and his life. But I do know him by now. Humor is a mask, a shield of sort. The thing that keeps him safe. The same way my anger serves me.
So, instead of taking the bait, I remain level and focused. “I’m serious, Jax. I want to know. Who were you before Ekios, before Caligos. Before you chained your life to mine.”
Jax blinks, surprised. It pains me that he’d be surprised that I want to know him better. But can I blame him?
My heart sinks when he averts his gaze, stoking the fire.
Maybe I’m wrong about knowing him. About the connection between us. Maybe my coldness and harshness did exactly what I wanted it to do. Kept him away.
But Jax surprises me by saying, “I’m a bastard son of the trade king of Emera. The youngest problematic child. A spare heir if by some horrible irony of life he loses his preferred three heirs and needs to pass down his legacy to someone with his name and a trace of his blood.”
“Oh, fuck. Your father is Sebastian Kregger? The Sebastian Kregger?” My eyebrows hike all the way to my hairline. Jax flashes me a lopsided smile. “I can’t believe I didn’t put two and two together. That’s why Fern called you Emerian prince.”
“Yeah.”
“So how did you end up here in Ekios? And tangled up with criminals…Was it a way to rebel against your father?”
Jax chuckles. “A punishment, more like it. I’ve been exiled.
Being a criminal is in my blood, darling.
My father’s business has two sides, like a coin.
The front is the shipyards where he builds the majority of Emera’s ships, for the council and other merchants.
He also transports goods to and from Emera.
These businesses alone make him very rich and very influential.
But then there’s the other side of the coin.
The shady side of his trade empire. He dabbles in black-market goods, using his ships.
That business makes him a very dangerous man. ”
“He’s crooked?” I shake my head. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised after everything I’ve learned about Caligos here in Ekios.”
Jax shrugs.
I’m not sure how open he’s willing to be. But I’m eager to find out.
“So, that explains the fighting skills, and your talent at attracting trouble.” Jax cracks a smile at that. “Your father. He taught you to fight and to scheme?”
“Nah, he doesn’t fight. He outsources that to his personal bodyguards. My oldest sister is quite a fighter. She trained me.”
“Wait. You have an older sister?”
He smiles. “I have three older sisters. I’m the youngest child and the only boy.”
I chuckle. “Ah. That explains everything.”
He arches an eyebrow, as if challenging me. I only smirk in response.
“No, don’t keep it to yourself, darling. Do tell.”
“Well, you’re clearly a ladies man. You’ve had to learn somewhere how to be good with women. I always wondered where. Now I know.”
Jax looks down at the flame, and his smile turns sad. “Actually, I learned to charm ladies from the number of nannies I had. Growing up, Father kept me away from my sisters. I only met them when I was twelve.”
“I’m sorry. That must have been hard,” I say softly. Jax purses his lips and shrugs. “I grew up with my two triplets and I can’t imagine not doing that.”
Jax meets my gaze. It melts something inside me. “Yeah. Were your sisters as fierce as you?”
It’s an unexpected turn of the conversation. I’m taken aback by the question. Emotions I’ve pushed down for so long surge to the front. The backs of my eyes burn. I blink because the last thing I want is to cry in front of Jax.
“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he says, voice gentle.
That damn bond.
I clear my throat. “No, it’s okay. It’s just…I haven’t spoken about them to anyone since…since they passed away.”
Surprise passes over his features. But he has the decency not to comment. Why haven’t I talked about my sisters? My family? Good question.
“They were fierce in protecting those they loved,” I say quietly.
“But we were very different. Fane was the fun, loud, and larger-than-life personality in the family, and Quint was the soft, artistic kind. I was the stubborn troublemaker.” I smile.
“When we were together, we worked well because we complemented each other. What one lacked, the other had.” My smile drops.
“Since I’ve lost them, it feels like I’ve lost two large parts of me.
Without them, only the stubborn fighter is left. ”
Words tumble off my lips with ease, despite the heavy heart. And to my surprise, I feel lighter after this confession.
“You’re more than that, Nix,” Jax says and I look at him again. “So much more.”
The moment between us stretches, loaded with tension and words better left unsaid.
I glance down at the fire and chuckle. “Anyway. Tell me about your other sisters. One’s a fighter. Is she a soldier of sorts?”
“All of my sisters are working in the family business, in some capacity. My oldest sister, Maeve, knows how to fight because she’s the Underboss, Father’s right hand. The middle sister, Petra, she’s a…freelancer. And the youngest one, Lyra. Well, she’s a poisoner. Father’s favorite.”
“Damn. Your sisters are not the kind of women you want to mess with.”
Jax chuckles. “Yeah. Definitely not. I’ve learned my lesson the hard way.”
“What? No way!”
He nods, smiling wide. “Yeah. When I was fourteen, I stole Lyra’s ring.
” He raises his left hand where on the pinky finger rests a gold signet ring.
“It was part of my training with Petra. Obviously, Lyra found out about it. So, she poisoned my breakfast. I was paralyzed from head to toe for twenty-four hours straight!”
I can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of me. I slam a hand over my mouth to stop it. “Stop. That’s awful!”
Jax’s smile softens. “Then why are you smiling?”
I giggle. “No, I’m sorry you got poisoned. But I’m also so impressed with Lyra. How old was she?”
“Sixteen.”
Another laugh bursts out of me.
Jax watches me with a twinkle in his eye. Once I’m done laughing, he says, “You see. I’m used to powerful women trying to kill me.”
I scoff and roll my eyes. But a smile still lingers on my lips.
Jax tucks his chin. “Ready for bed?”
With a yawn, I nod and curl up on top of the fur, close to the fire. A moment later, Jax joins me with two more fur blankets. They’re heavy on top of me. I’m warm from the fire and the furs. I don’t think I need Jax’s body warmth to sleep tonight.
I don’t voice that thought.
As he settles next to me, I wiggle closer to him. And as he wraps his arms around me, his hard chest against my back, I close my eyes.
There’s no world or scenario in which it doesn’t end in a tragedy. Kazh’s words echo somewhere in the corner of my mind.
I know this is wrong. So fucking bad, on so many levels. To allow him so close, to lean on him for support.
I know it’s inappropriate for me as the Ezkai General. Deep in my gut, I know Kazh’s words are true.
I revel in the warmth of his strong body, the sense of security his arm wrapped around my waist provides. It makes me feel alive that Jax’s scent lingers on me after we wake up. That I get to smell him on me for the rest of the day as we travel.
I’m intoxicated with the sense of his heart beating over mine in my chest. That I always feel this tether lingering between us, keeping us close.
I’d never admit he makes me feel any of this.
It’s wrong.
It’s dangerous.
And it will only end in a tragedy.
But I can’t help it.