Chapter 37
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
PHOENIX
When I open my eyes the next morning, the bright light peeks through the cave mouth, illuminating it.
I yawn, and rub my eyes. Jax’s warm body is still next to me. His hand rests heavy over my waist. Carefully, I roll over. He looks so at peace when he sleeps. So innocent.
His warm breath tickles my forehead every time he exhales through his nose. The outside light barely reaches us here at the back of the cave, so I can’t see him too well. Still, my eyes roam greedily over his features while I have a chance.
It’s indulgent. The tips of my fingers itch to reach out and touch that alabaster skin, sharp cheekbones, and those long, thick eyelashes.
Since the moment we met, I hated him. Judged him. I created an image of him in my head, a soulless thug with no morals or remorse, only looking out for himself. Even as he proved himself and his loyalty, I refused to drop the image. Refused to see him for who he truly is.
Jax inhales sharply, and his arm around me tightens, pulling me closer in his embrace. We’re so close, his very obvious hardness presses against my lower belly. Flames erupt deep inside me.
Slowly, he blinks his eyes open. When he realizes he’s looking at my face and not the back of my head, he frowns.
His sleepy morning voice only further stokes the flames inside me. “How long have you been awake?”
I clear my throat. “A couple of minutes.”
He hums and closes his eyes again.
I’m painfully aware of all the points where our bodies touch. The way his hand rests over my waist, and just how hard he is.
I clear my throat again. “Jax. You have a boner.”
A cheeky smirk blooms on his face, but he doesn’t open his eyes. “I can’t help it, darling. It’s biology.”
I sigh dramatically. “Well, then at least let me go.”
He chuckles, but his grip around me loosens. I wiggle away immediately and get to my feet. My limbs are sleepy, so I do a couple of stretches. Even moving my body doesn’t help me get rid of this painful longing.
Fuck me.
“I’m going to check on the horses. Let’s get going,” I mutter and stride out of the cave.
The morning light is soft. The skies are clear, and the forest is full of sounds. I take a deep breath once I’m outside, and head for the horses tied to a nearby tree. They had plenty of space last night to graze.
Luna greets me with a familiar blow of her nostrils and a nudge.
“Good morning, sweet girl,” I murmur while I pet her neck.
Her coat is so soft. Midnight stands a little farther away, eyeing me sideways with his red eyes.
“Good morning to you too, Mister Grumpy,” I say to the stallion.
He grunts.
This motherfucker.
I’m not angry this morning!
“I think it’s ironic how you refer to my boy over here as Mister Grumpy when you’re the Grumpy Blade.” Jax’s voice startles me from behind.
I turn to him. He carries our bags from the cave with a wide smile.
“Whatever, Sparkle Boy.”
Jax chuckles while I head to collect the furs from the cave. I roll one and carry it back outside to secure it to Luna’s saddle. I pass Jax walking back into the cave. He winks at me when our eyes meet.
I ignore the tickle in my lower stomach and march towards the horses. Just as I put the saddle on Luna and tie the straps, the forest goes deadly silent again.
Immediately, I pull out two of my daggers and whirl on my heel. There’s nothing I can see among the trees. But the forest is silent, and that same crawling feeling is back.
Something—someone—is there. Watching. I know it in my gut.
A heartbeat later, the silence is shattered with a hooting, followed by a number of different songs from birds.
I lower my weapons. What the fuck is going on?
Shaking my head, I strap my weapons back to me. Jax emerges from the cave with the last two fur rolls.
“That’s all,” he says. “Let’s hit the road and try to find a nearby river on our way. I need a cold plunge.”
I secure my bag to Luna’s saddle. “Yeah. I can smell.”
Jax’s mouth falls open in mock shock, his eyes sparkling. “Have the audacity to lie! My fragile ego can’t take it.”
Against my will, I giggle.
Damn this man.
We find the river not too far away. While Jax dives into the freezing cold water, I use a damp cloth to freshen up. Only watching him swim in the river when it’s this cold outside makes my teeth clatter.
After, we have a quick breakfast, refill our leather skins, make sure the horses have enough to drink, and we’re back on the road.
I’m giddy as we ride deeper into the mountains and the forests. Yesterday was a good day. We found the first evidence of dragons. I take it as a sign that we’re on the right path.
Unfortunately, my good mood sours fairly quickly.
The forest here is lusher and more dense. I can barely see anything past a few feet. I know it’s mid-morning, but because the branches above our heads are so heavy, and weave together so tightly, it feels as if it’s dusk again.
It makes my skin crawl.
The cold breeze that keeps rustling my hair doesn’t help either. Ekios is much colder than Wetra, and here in the mountains, the air is even crispier. But since we left the cave this morning, I’ve been shivering nonstop. What am I going to do during the night?
I keep listening to the sounds in the forest with a pounding heart. Any moment, the forest can fall silent. I want to be ready. Especially in this part of it.
It’s been a while since I’ve seen the wooden posts signaling the path to the feeding grounds. I keep looking at my map, trying to orient myself.
“Jax!” I call for him. He rides a few feet ahead. He turns to look at me. “Have you seen any signposts yet?”
“Yeah. We passed 1043, like, ten minutes ago. Why?”
“Good. Nothing. Just checking.”
Jax eyes me with a frown, but once I roll my eyes, he turns away.
Maybe my human sight is so bad here I missed it. From the corner of my eye I keep seeing moving shadows in the forest, but when I turn there’s nothing there. The forest is lively with creatures, and the horses are calm. I need to relax.
We ride for the whole day. Not a single sign of a dragon. And about an hour ago, we lost track of where we are on the map. One thing is clear—we’re nowhere close to the damn dragon feeding grounds.
“We should find a place to set up a camp for the night,” Jax says, looking up at the almost dark sky above our heads. “It’s too dark. We might have missed the signpost. Tomorrow with the morning light, we’ll find it.”
“Fine,” I mutter.
Worry claws at my chest. I don’t have time to get lost in the damn forest. While I’m roaming the woods blind, looking for a dragon who may not even want to bond me, Vera’s somewhere being tortured. And Caligos are preparing for something bad, just waiting for a moment when I’m weak to attack.
“Nix,” Jax says softly. It snaps me out of my spiral. I blink at him. “We’re not lost. We’ve been following the same path all this time. It may be that the signposts are simply hidden better here with the forest being so thick.”
I nod, biting the inside of my cheek. He’s just trying to help, to ease the anxiety that’s suffocating me. But there’s nothing that can help me right now.
“Where are we setting up the camp?” I ask, looking around. “The forest is too thick here.”
Jax cranes his neck and holds still for a heartbeat. “There’s water not too far. Let’s head there first. Horses need water.”
I glance around at the looming darkness. We haven’t stayed out on the road this late before. Unease tickles my spine. I roll my shoulders to shake it off.
Jax rides forward, and I follow. Soon, my human ears pick up the sound of rushing water, too. There’s a narrow path winding down on the left, towards the water. I follow Jax. The closer we get to water, the heavier my chest gets.
Soon, a small clearing next to a tall waterfall emerges in front of us. The water is dark as night. I get off Luna and approach the edge. As I look down, nothing but darkness looks back at me. A ball lodges in my throat and I take a step back.
“Are you okay?” Jax’s voice right behind me makes me jump.
I whirl on my heel. “Yes. I’m fine. It’s just…” I roll my shoulders. “It’s dark. I’m freezing. I just need to rest, I guess.”
He narrows his eyes at me, not believing me. But he doesn’t press further.
“I’m going to build a fire. Unsaddle the horses?” Jax asks.
“We’ll camp here? By the water?”
He looks around. “Not ideal to camp by the water, but the forest is too thick here. We don’t have much of a choice. We’ll do shifts again.”
I nod and he heads to look for dry wood. Quietly, I unsaddle Luna. Once that’s done, I turn to Midnight. He watches me, but doesn’t grunt or express his dislike for me in any other ways.
I lift my palms up. “Can I unsaddle you, Grumpy?”
The stallion watches me. A long moment passes. Finally, he blows out and turns sideways.
Damn. I can’t believe this is happening.
Carefully, still unable to believe Midnight is allowing me to approach him, I come closer. Slowly, I untie the straps and remove the saddle. I check that the horses are tied well to the trees with enough space to graze. Jax returns with the wood and starts working on building the fire.
I unroll the fur, fill our skins, and set up the meager dinner of stale bread and hard cheese. We ran out of candied dried plums yesterday. Jax did pick some forest berries earlier today, so we have that with our bread and cheese.
“If you’re wrong and they’re poisonous…” I shake my head.
Jax smirks. “I know, I know. I’ll be General Slayer twice. Legendary, if you ask me.”
Smiling, I shove his shoulder. “Not funny. Once is already one too many times. Have you already forgotten how bad the prison was?”
Jax’s gaze darts between me and his bread. The way his mouth curves makes something in my stomach swirl. “It wasn’t all that bad.”
“Really?”
He looks up and our eyes meet. “Yeah. I enjoyed you visiting me in my cell.”
I roll my eyes.
But his admission warms my insides.
Jax lies down on the fur and crosses his arms behind his head. “And in between those visits, I used to daydream of what would happen the next time you visited. Not a bad life.”
This bastard.
Tempting me. Stoking my damn curiosity.
“What exactly would you daydream about?”
Jax runs the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip. “There aren’t enough words to describe it.” A pause. “But I could show you. Through our bond, of course.”
I click my tongue. “No, thank you.”
Jax chuckles. “Well, then, don’t ask me questions you don’t want answers for, darling.”
I lie down under the fur blanket. “Lesson learned.”
Jax slips under the same blanket. We know this routine so well by now, we don’t even need to talk. He rolls me over onto my side and pulls my back against his chest. His palm rests on my stomach.
Too low.
I don’t complain, though.
“Get some sleep,” he murmurs against my hair. “I’ll wake you when it’s time for your shift.”
I don’t argue. I close my eyes.
The fire crackles softly.
Jax’s heartbeat is steady against mine in my chest.
Right as sleep claims me, the forest falls silent again.
But I’m already too far gone to wake.