Chapter Thirty-four
Martina
We haven’t talked much on the ride. Is he thinking what I am? That once he drops me off, that’ll be it? Maybe it would’ve been easier to part ways at his cabin. At least then I could have had a good cry in a rental car with nobody around to see. I could have gotten it out of my system so all my energy could go toward Charlie.
I glance over at Dallas, knowing the truth—he’ll never be out of my system.
His knuckles are practically turning white as hard as he’s gripping the wheel. The roads have been cleared, so it can’t be that. “You okay?” I ask.
He relaxes his hands, as if he just now realized the death grip he had on the steering wheel. “Fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
Because our time together is coming to an end.
Because you’ll meet my big brother.
Because… Charlie.
I almost tell him I’m proud of him for doing this. He’s going way outside his comfort zone. It could be a step in the right direction for him. But I keep my mouth shut.
My shoulders slump when the GPS voice alerts us that our destination is ahead. How can a person be so incredibly happy yet insanely sad at the same time? I’m about to see Charlie. I’ve never gone this long without seeing him. But seeing him means leaving the past ten days behind.
Dallas pulls up in front of the hotel, underneath the massive brick awning.
My heart hurts as much as it did when I got that horrible call from Anita. How do I say goodbye?
I turn to him, unable to keep the tears from welling in my eyes. “I…”
He puts a hand on my arm. Our eyes connect, revealing in total silence there are still things we want to say but can’t.
What does he want to say? I’d give anything to know the answer.
What I want to say would scare him, send him bolting out of this parking lot faster than I could complete the three words.
Wouldn’t it?
I stare into his eyes, almost willing to risk it, because I swear his dark, expressive, sad eyes are saying the same things mine are.
A knock on the window has me turning.
“Mommy!”
Charlie’s smiling face is on the other side of the glass. Asher is holding him. They knew we’d be arriving any minute as I’ve been in constant contact with them.
I swing open the door, hop out, and pull my son into my arms, closing my eyes at the feeling of his little limbs tangling around me, hugging me as tightly as he can.
Rubbing my face over the top of his hair, I inhale his scent. This little man is my entire world. “I’ve missed you so much, buddy.”
“There’s a pool,” he says excitedly. “Unca Asher let me swim.”
“That’s great, Charlie. I’ll watch you swim later. After we go talk to Nita.”
“Nita is sad.”
“Yes, buddy, she is.”
“Are you sad?”
I nod. “I’m very sad. I miss your daddy very much.”
“Where did he go?”
“He went to heaven. Remember? He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay and be your daddy forever and ever. But he couldn’t. You can still love him forever, though. He’s with Alex now. You remember Alex, right?”
I know he doesn’t actually remember her, but I do talk about her, and I have pictures. So he nods. “Sissy.”
“Yes, Daddy is with your sister, Alex.”
He looks at me inquisitively. “Is there a pool where he is?”
Oh, how I love his innocent mind. “Yes, buddy. I think there is a pool.”
Asher pulls me in for a hug and I thank him for coming. Then he moves me aside, almost forcefully, and leans into the truck. “Asher Anderson,” he says, holding out his hand to Dallas.
Dallas shakes it. “Dallas Montana.”
“Yeah. I know exactly who you are.”
I nudge Asher with my elbow, silently telling him to take it easy.
Asher gives me a dismissive head nod that only a brother can give, then turns back to Dallas. “I understand thanks are in order for saving my sister from certain death.”
“Well, your sister is kind of a badass. The accident, the pond, the tower, and the bear hardly even phased her.”
My overprotective brother turns to me, a new expression on his face. I know this one. He’s scolding me for not telling him about my three other brushes with death. “What the fu—, uh… what haven’t you told me?”
I laugh. “I didn’t want to worry you, Ash. Everything is fine. I’ll tell you all about it later.”
“I’d actually like to hear about it from him .” He leans into the truck again. “How about you stay for a drink? Or dinner even. Marti will want to go talk to Anita. I’ll be stuck here. The hotel has a great restaurant.”
Dallas looks at me over Asher’s shoulder. He looks at me, then he looks at Charlie, a host of emotions crisscrossing his face. “I… um…”—he thumbs to the road—“should probably get going.”
“Come on,” Asher urges. “One drink. Maybe a sandwich. You’ll be out of here by seven.”
Dallas blows out a long, drawn-out breath. “Alright. I’ll just go park.”
I could kill Asher for strong-arming him into staying. But I could also kiss him, because it means we don’t have to say goodbye quite yet.
“Be nice,” I tell Asher as the truck pulls away.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” He stares me down. “Any reason in particular?”
I shrug. “There are just… things.” I glance at Charlie. “I’ll tell you later.”
“Things. Right.” He shakes his head. “Listen, I saw the way you two were looking at each other. It’s pretty obvious what happened in that cabin.”
“Please don’t be hard on him, Asher. He’s lost a lot. Much more than you and I have.”
He cocks his head. “ More than you have, Marti?”
“His wife and son died a few years ago. It’s just him now. And his son would be Charlie’s age, so give the guy a break, okay?”
“Damn.” He watches Dallas as he approaches, rolling my suitcase behind him, Bex on a leash at his side.
I elbow Asher in the ribs. “Do not say anything about it.”
“I’m not an insensitive prick, Martina.”
“Mommy! A doggy!”
I set a squirming Charlie down on his feet. “This is Bex,” I say. “He’s very nice. Hold out your hand so he can sniff you.”
Charlie does what I ask, and Bex licks his hand, much to my son’s amusement.
My eyes swing to Dallas’s when Charlie giggles in delight. Dallas is watching the interaction as if he’s looking at an accident. He doesn’t want to see what’s happening, but he just can’t look away.
After Charlie has his few moments with Bex, the question I’ve been dreading arrives.
“Mommy,” Charlie says looking up at Dallas. “Who’s that?”
My heart lurches, because I’m about to introduce my son to the man who lost his.
“Charlie, this is Mr. Montana. Mommy’s friend.”
“Dallas,” he says. “It’s just Dallas.” He looks at my son, his eyes gutted with pain. “Nice to meet you, Charlie.”
It was almost imperceptible—the hitch in his voice—but I noticed it. And it wrecks me.
“Can I play with Bex?” Charlie asks.
“Later,” I say. “We need to go to Anita’s for a while.” I turn to Dallas. “Will you be here when I get back?” Then I mouth the word, please .
He nods, albeit hesitantly.
Asher takes my suitcase from Dallas and hands me a set of car keys. “It’s the silver Camry over there. There’s a car seat inside. The address is programmed into the GPS.” He gives me a hotel key card. “Your room number is 417. You have a connecting room to where Charlie and I have been staying.”
“Thank you for coming.” I give Asher a hug. “I want to stay,” I say, blinking over at Dallas. “But I have to see Anita. How’s she doing?”
“As well as can be expected. She’s got family around. You as well as anyone know what a comfort that can be. I’ve kept my distance though. I’m here for Charlie. You’re more of a friend to her than I am. I don’t even know her all that well.”
I lock eyes with Dallas. “So, I’ll see you later?”
Maybe asking that a second time makes me sound desperate, but if this is the last I will ever see of Dallas Montana, I have to know.
“I guess you will.” His gaze flits to Charlie. “You did promise him playtime with Bex.”
The urge to reach for him is strong. But knowing he’ll be here later, and we’ll have at least a little more time together, has me reaching for Charlie’s hand instead. “Come on, buddy. Let’s go talk to Nita. Bex will be here when we get back.”
“Can he swim with me?”
I laugh. “No, Charlie. Dogs won’t be allowed in the pool. But maybe we can find a nice stick and throw it to him out here.”
Dallas’s eyes cut to me as his face relaxes into a smile. We’re both thinking of the stick, the pond, and what came after.
My feet are cemented in place. It takes a nudge from Asher to get me moving. “You’d better get going.”
“Right. Well, I’ll see you guys later.”
Taking Charlie to the car, I strap him in the seat and look back at the hotel entrance where Dallas is watching me. I wave. He lifts his chin.
I duck inside the car, my chin quivering, knowing so much has gone unsaid, hoping that somehow, some way, I’ll get to say it.