Chapter Forty
Martina
After a busy two days of planning, supporting, remembering, and crying, we’re finally on our way back to Florida.
Charlie is secured in his seat, holding Grumpy in one hand, and a juice box in the other. I’m lucky my son likes car trips, because this is going to be a long one. We plan on breaking it into three days, finding parks and playgrounds for him to let off energy along the way.
It gets hot in the car with the heat blasting, so I take off my coat. Well, not my coat. Dallas’s coat. I sigh heavily as I reach over and put it in the back seat.
Asher takes his eyes off the road momentarily, looking sorry for me. “Some people are just damaged beyond repair, Marti.” He pats my knee. “I’m really sorry.”
I stare out the window, holding tears at bay. “I don’t think anyone is that damaged. Sure, he’s broken in a way. I am too. But what if…” I look at him as if he has all the answers. “What if it takes one broken person to fix another? Like maybe two broken people can make each other whole somehow. Fill in each other’s cracks.”
“If that’s true, what are you doing here while he’s God knows where?”
“What happened at the hotel had to be terrifying for him. I should know. I’ve lost a child, too. We’ve both been through it. We’ve lived it. And he thought it was happening again.”
“You had brushes with death when you were with him, Marti. He didn’t bail then.”
“He couldn’t, Ash. We were stranded. And he kind of did bail in a way. He’d run away. Literally. As in he’d go out in the forest and run. Or he’d chop wood. It didn’t matter if we’d had a bad moment or a good one, they all seemed to bring back memories of what he was hiding from. But he was changing. I could see it. I could feel it. He celebrated DJ’s birthday. That was a huge step for him. And after we’d… well, you don’t want the details—”
“God, please, no.”
“After he ran out the first time, he began to heal. He stopped pulling away as much. He was opening up to me and sharing some of his past.” I look wistfully out the window. “If we’d only had more time together.”
We pass a sign that marks the western edge of the Tug Hill Region. Asher points to it. “So show up. Go to his cabin and see what happens. Lay it all out for him.”
I shake my head. “I can’t do that.”
“Why not?”
“Sometimes it’s better to just walk away with the good memories. If I showed up on his doorstep and he rejected me, it would negate those ten days. Right now, I can hold onto them. Asher, I know it sounds strange because Charles had just died and I couldn’t get to Charlie, but those ten days were some of the best of my life.” I sigh. “Besides, even if I wanted to, I’d have no idea how to find his cabin. It’s not like I can just google it. It’s in the middle of nowhere. I doubt it even has an address.”
He pats my knee again. “I’m sorry, Marti. I wish there was something I could do to help.”
“You have helped. You were there for Charlie. And you’re here for me. That’s enough.”
Even though it’s just mid-afternoon, my eyes grow heavy after a few hours on the road. I grab the coat from the back seat and use it as a pillow, balling it up and wedging it between my head and the window. I inhale sharply, hoping it still smells like him. It doesn’t. I’ve worn it so long, his scent is gone, and that saddens me to no end. “I guess I’ll have to send the coat to him somehow,” I muse aloud. “I could mail it to the winery I suppose.”
“Mmm,” Asher mumbles, and turns the music on low.
I fall asleep to Taylor Swift singing about her broken heart, wondering if writing a song would help me get over this crippling hurt that has taken up residence inside me.
~ ~ ~
I’m shaken slightly. “Martina, we’re here.”
I rub my eyes. “How long did I sleep? We’re in Pennsylvania? But it’s not even that dark yet.”
“We’re not in Pennsylvania.”
I look out my window. “So why aren’t we on the highway anymore?”
“Small detour.” He points ahead to a large sign on the side of the road.
Montana Winery.
I stiffen. “Asher! What are you doing?”
He shrugs. “You said you wanted to return the coat to the winery. Well, let’s return the coat to the winery. It was only fifteen minutes out of the way.”
My mouth hangs open.
Fully awake now, I’m picturing a million ways this could turn out. None of them good. “Turn around.”
“Too late. Road’s too narrow.” He pulls onto a long winding road where endless rows of dormant grapevines go on as far as the eye can see. It’s mesmerizing. It’s a piece of Dallas I never thought I’d get to see. A part of his life I didn’t think I’d ever experience.
I quit protesting. Because even though he’s not here, I feel closer to him.
“It’s the weekend,” I say. “The place will probably be closed.” I look down at the coat and feel a sudden pang of loss knowing just how much I wanted to see its owner no matter how unlikely it is that he’d be here. “We can just leave it by the door with a note.”
As the car approaches the front and several large buildings come into view, I’m hit with disappointment upon seeing the empty parking lot.
I’m not sure what Asher thought he was going to accomplish by making this detour. But my guess is it has nothing to do with returning the coat.
Asher parks right next to the entrance, not even bothering to pull into a spot.
I ask, “Did you even like him?”
He laughs half-heartedly. “I didn’t expect to. In fact, I expected to hate him. But the truth is, I did. Which is all kinds of crazy despite some crap he said. But the guy is oddly charming.”
“Tell me about it.” I narrow my eyes. “What crap did he say?”
“It’s not important.”
“Asher, you don’t have to protect me. I’m a big girl.”
I’m startled by a knock on the window and I whirl around in my seat to see a beautiful woman. When I recognize her from the picture on Dallas’s phone, I quickly roll down the window.
“Can I help you?” she asks, pulling a sweater tightly around her. “Are you lost?”
My heart pounds for no explicable reason. It’s not him, after all. “I’m Marti.”
Her eyes double in size and a huge smile splits her face. “Oh my gosh. Fantastic! What are you doing in there? Get out here so I can give you a proper hug.” I open the door and slip out. She wastes no time squeezing me. Hard. “I’m so glad you came.”
Confusion sets in. “Um…” I reach back inside and get the coat. “I just needed to return this. We’re on our way back to Florida.”
Now she’s the one who looks confused. “You aren’t here for Lucas’s party?”
“The party.” I pretty much deflate on the spot. “I’d forgotten all about it. No. We were just passing by Calloway Creek on I-95 and took a detour.” I offer her the coat. “Cheaper than sending it.”
She pushes it back at me. “It’s cold, Marti. You should be wearing it. And as long as you’re here, you should definitely come to the party. We had a wine tasting today.” She jiggles a set of keys. “I was just getting ready to go home and change for the party when I saw you drive up.” She stops talking and looks around me into the car.
“Sorry,” I say. “I didn’t mean to be rude. Allie, this is my brother, Asher Anderson.”
Allie’s face lights up a second time. She all but hops into the front seat, stretching out her arm. “Asher Anderson,” she muses as she puts her hand into his. “Sounds very presidential.”
He laughs. “Nice to meet you, Allie Montana.”
I raise a brow, noticing a slight change in his voice. It’s sturdier. More masculine. My eyes bounce back and forth between them when I realize they haven’t let go of each other’s hands. She giggles, practically preening, and my brother’s eyes are laser focused on her. “You should come too, Asher. And Charlie.” Her gaze finally breaks from his and she looks at my sleeping son in the back seat. “Damn he’s cute.”
Finally, after far too long a handshake, she pulls away and backs out of the front seat.
“What do you say?” she asks me. “Will you come?”
“No.” I shake my head vehemently. “No way.”
Her hands land on her hips. I take it she’s a woman who’s used to getting what she wants.
“For one, we don’t even know Lucas. And then there’s the fact that Dallas will be there. That would probably be a bit too awkward.”
“My brother is a complete idiot. He needs a nudge is all. Maybe this party is just the thing to—” Allie’s phone rings. “Excuse me for a sec.” She retrieves it from her pocket. “Well, speak of the devil.” She swipes her finger across the screen as my heartbeat accelerates. “Hey, Dallas. You’ll never guess who’s standing in front of me right now.”
I step forward and get her attention, waving a hand wildly then doing the cutthroat sign.
“It’s um… um… Mia’s brother, Dax. He wants an invite to the party. Think I should extend one?”
She laughs at whatever his response is.
Then her jubilant demeanor changes. “Aw, no, really?” Her eyes settle on me. “Are you sure?” She shifts her stance, pouting. “Well, whatever. If it can’t be avoided. Guess I’ll see you when I see you.” She tucks her phone away. “Problem solved. He’s not coming. Something to do with the authorities wanting to talk to him about some old dead guy.”
“Abe,” I say, feeling sad about the man I never met all over again.
She rubs her cold hands together. “So? Will you come?”
“We won’t know anyone.”
“That will be remedied about thirty seconds after we go through the door.”
“Marti,” Asher says, leaning over the console. “It could be fun. We’ve had a lot of depressing situations in the past few days. A party might be just what we need.”
I shoot him a ‘you’re not helping’ glare.
“Mommy?” Charlie says from his car seat, awake now. “Is there a party?”
“There sure is,” Allie says. “And there will be lots of kids there. Wouldn’t you like to come and eat great food and play? There will be cake.”
“Mommy! Can we?”
These three. They’re teaming up on me.
“I don’t know, buddy.” I turn to Allie. “We’d have no place to stay. Is there even a hotel here? I know the town is small.”
“We have two, actually, but there’s no need. You can stay with me. There’s plenty of room.”
“I don’t know.”
“Mommy, pwease?” Charlie begs.
I look at Asher, who’s innocently holding up his hands. I feel I don’t have a choice. I sigh. “Fine.”
Allie jumps up and claps. “Great. Let me lock up. My car is around back. You can follow me home and we’ll all freshen up.”
She runs off before I have another chance to protest.
I get back in the car and point a finger at Asher. “You.” I shake my head. “I can’t believe you backed me into a corner on this. This wasn’t in the plans. It’ll set us back a day.”
“So we’ll drive an extra few hours tomorrow. It’s no big deal, Marti. Geesh, when did you become such a stick in the mud?”
I close my eyes, lean back into the headrest, and surmise it was two days ago when I became said stick. The day the man I’m in love with walked away with my heart in his pocket.
~ ~ ~
My jaw is in my lap as I look at the massive house we’re pulling up to. The house goes on forever. It looks like a governor’s mansion or something. Sprawling grounds. Walls of windows. Dormers and peaks and angles and garages… oh, so many garages.
It’s all decked out for the holidays. Huge decorative Christmas ornaments hang from trees. Wooden reindeer displays dot the landscape. There are wreaths in every window, and a massive red bow adorns the front door.
I grab Asher’s arm. “This can’t be her house. She’s only twenty-seven.”
A classy-looking couple steps out of the front door and walks toward the car. We park behind Allie in the large circular drive and get out. The woman, who looks to be in her fifties, with hair the color of Dallas’s and a welcoming smile, says, “Welcome to our home, Marti and Asher. I’m Sarah Montana, and this is my husband, Chris.” She peeks in the back. “And that must be Charlie.” When she sees the odd look on my face, she adds, “Allie called from the car. She said we’d be having guests for the evening.”
“I… I thought we were staying at Allie’s place.”
Chris chuckles. “This is Allie’s place.” He points to the windows over the four-car-garage on the left—one of two four-car garages connected to the house. “Or that is anyway.”
“I only wanted to return Dallas’s coat. This”—I wave a hand around—“is not what I intended.”
Sarah’s eyes crinkle with a smile. “Sometimes the best things in life come when we least expect them.” She holds my gaze and it makes me wonder just how much his family knows of our snowy escapades.
“But you don’t even know us. We really don’t want to impose.”
Sarah scolds me with her eyes. “You’re not from a small town, are you?”
I shake my head. “Orlando.”
She laughs. “Well, we do things differently here. Everyone is family. Come, get your bags and I’ll show you to the guest rooms.”
“Mrs. Montana, are you sure?”
She puts a hand on my shoulder. “It’s Sarah. And I’m positive.”
A familiar furry friend emerges from the house, surging toward my son, tail wagging.
“Bex!” Charlie exclaims.
I quickly turn to Allie. “I thought you said he wasn’t here.”
“I’m dog sitting for a few days.”
“Oh.”
I want to ask her so many questions. Like how did Bex get here? Did Dallas bring him? Why just a few days? But I don’t have a chance to ask because Sarah takes my elbow and escorts me inside.
Ten minutes later, after being shown our rooms, not to mention a tour of the house that is like Disneyland to Charlie, we’re changing for the party.
Charlie and I are in a room connected to Asher’s by a large bathroom.
I sit on the bed and look around, wondering if this used to be one of their boys’ bedrooms. Maybe even Dallas’s. I run my hand along the bedspread, trying to feel him as if his aura is still here.
Asher walks through the bathroom and peeks his head inside our room. “You could do much worse.”
I roll my eyes. “I’m not doing anything, Ash. Can we just get through the next few hours please?”
When we’re as ready as we can get, since I didn’t exactly pack party clothes, we head to the living room. It’s hard not to look at the pictures on the wall. There are so many of them. And the people—there must be dozens. I imagine Dallas growing up with tons of cousins, aunts, uncles, and grandparents. I’m envious of all the love he must have had surrounding him.
I glanced at the photos during the tour, but I can really study them now. I’m fascinated by one in particular. It’s the four Montana children standing in the middle of a vineyard right before sunset. I immediately know which one Dallas is even though he must be only ten or so. Those eyes are exactly the same. His face was fuller and his hair shorter, but he was a cute kid.
Another photo captures my attention. It’s a photo of the entire family. Chris, Sarah, their four kids… and Phoebe and DJ.
Sarah comes up behind me. She looks between me and the picture on the wall. “Does this bother you?”
“Not at all.” I lean against the wall. “Out of curiosity, what do you… know?”
There’s a glint in her eye that tells me she might just know more than I think. “My son isn’t one to share details about his life. Especially since he lost them. Allie filled us in with what little she knows. We all read between the lines.” Her face turns soft, her eyes inviting. “Marti, it seems you’ve been the breath of fresh air my son has needed for a long time.”
I curse myself when tears come to my eyes, rendering me unable to respond.
“He visited their graves yesterday.” She takes my elbow and guides me to the sofa. “That might not seem all that significant, except for the fact that it’s the very first time he’s done it.”
My eyes snap up to hers.
She nods, another bright smile crinkling her beautiful complexion. “Whatever happened between the two of you up in that cabin has changed him.” She pats my hand in that motherly way—the way I imagine my own mother would have. “But it took two-and-a-half years, Marti. It might just take him another minute to digest everything. All we can do is be patient with him. But I’ll tell you this, I think you and that little boy of yours might be just what he needs.”
I shake my head and stare at the massive two-story Christmas tree in front of the windows that overlook the extensive property. “I don’t think so. I had hoped, but with Charlie I don’t know if it’s possible. I think it’s just too much with the both of us.” I look at Sarah. “But now I have hope that he will find the one he needs. And I’m so happy he’ll have that.”
“Mmm. I guess we’ll see.” She stands. “Shall we go to the party? I think you might enjoy our little town.”
Charlie races into the room and points out back. “Mommy, they have a pool!”
“And you can come swim in it anytime you want,” Allie says. She turns to my brother and winks. “That goes for you too.”
I don’t tell her she’s being ridiculous. And far more hopeful than I could ever dare to be.
“Car’s warmed up and ready to go,” Chris says. “No need to grab your car seat, we already have one for our granddaughter, Maisy.”
I’ve only known these people for a half hour, yet they’re treating me like family, even though they already have a massive one. Sarah is treating me like a daughter. And Allie, a sister. I’m sad that tomorrow we’ll be leaving, and it’ll go back to being just the four of us—Asher, me, Charlie, and Bug. No extended family. No grandparents. No second and third cousins. No village in which to raise our children.
And despite all the tragedy Dallas has endured, I hope he understands what a lucky, lucky man he is.