Jax
I am so fucking glad the guys aren’t here right now.
A six-foot-tall man has zero business squeezing himself into a kiddie table built for three-foot-tall children.
My knees are proof of that since they’re already screaming at the weird angle I’ve got them bent just to fit.
Every little shift makes the wood creak like it’s seconds away from giving out and dumping me flat on my arse.
I’m sure the girls would find that hilarious, but am I ready to test that theory? Absolutely not.
I shift awkwardly, trying to get comfortable, when Charlotte lifts a tiny plastic teapot with a grin. “Some more tea, sir?” she asks, trying her best to copy my accent.
I can’t help the smirk tugging at my mouth as I raise my little cup and nod. “Why thank you, ma’am.”
“More juice!” Lydia screeches, clapping her small hands together.
I gesture toward her. “I believe Miss Lydia would love some more tea.”
Charlotte gives her sister a nod and carefully pretends to refill her cup, then slumps onto the stool beside me like she’s just finished a twelve-hour shift. She wipes imaginary sweat from her brow and lets out a dramatic sigh. “Man, these customers,” she mutters, shaking her head.
A chuckle bubbles in my throat, coming out as more of a snort. I gently place my cup down and bow my head. “You did a swell job, Miss Charlotte.”
After a few more rounds of plastic pie and cardboard napkins, the girls move on to feed their stuffed animals.
Just watching them together, barely even arguing at their age, says everything about how happy they really are.
Which makes what Trevor’s trying to do all the more fucked up.
Trying to rip them away from a loving mother?
Does he even realize the damage that could do to his daughters?
They’d be completely lost without their mum.
Charlotte spins slowly in her chair until she’s facing me, though her gaze stays fixed on her lap. “Jax?” she says softly.
She toys with the hem of her top—a habit I know too well from Allie, who does it whenever she’s trying to work up the nerve to say something she doesn’t want to.
I lean forward, resting my arms on my knees. “Yeah, Lot?”
“Are you gonna be here for my birthday?” she asks, eyes still unmoving.
I chuckle and ruffle her long, auburn hair. “Of course I will, love. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
The smile she’d been trying to hide finally slips free. She leaps out of her chair so fast it nearly topples over, and she throws her small arms around my neck, squeezing as hard as she can.
Then, just as quickly, she returns to her seat and leans into Lydia. “Told you he’d come,” she says proudly.
The second they slip back into play mode, my phone buzzes in my pocket, making my stomach flip. If she’s calling already, it means one of two things. Either she’s worried about leaving me alone with the girls... or it went badly. Really badly.
I grab the phone and answer quickly, my words tumbling out. “Hey! Everything’s good, don’t worry. The girls and I are just having a little tea party.”
Laughter explodes on the other end—way too loud, and way too deep to be Allie. My brow furrows as I pull the phone away and check the screen.
Pookie James.
Ah, for fuck’s sake.
I pinch the bridge of my nose, chuckling as I rest the phone against my chest. “You gonna be okay if I step out for a minute?” I ask Charlotte softly.
She nods. “Yup! But don’t be long, or your tea will be cold and yucky.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I say, already pushing myself up from the chair.
My knees creak like they should be on a ninety-year-old, and not attached to my twenty-six-year-old body. But the way both girls lit up the second I sat down? Worth every second of feeling like my ligaments are disintegrating.
I slip into the hallway and lift the phone back to my ear. “What’s up, man? And when the hell did you change your name to ‘Pookie James’ in my contacts?”
His laugh bursts through the speaker again. “Mate, that was ages ago. Just shows how little you call me.”
“You’re my bassist, not my father.” I shift the phone to my other ear. “Plus, we live together. I shouldn’t need to call you. Anyway, I’m with Charlotte and Lydia right now. What’s up?”
“Wait, like... by yourself?”
“Yeah. Allie’s got mediation with Trevor today,” I say quietly, just in case the girls are within earshot.
“Oh, right. How’s it going over there?”
I sneak a glance into the bedroom. Thankfully, the girls are still wrapped up in their tea party, without a care in the world.
“They’re perfect,” I admit with a smile.
“That’s great, man. Really glad to hear it.”
A long pause follows. Nothing but the faint hum of background noise on his end. I shift, leaning against the wall and turning my back to the door. “Alright. What is it?”
“So, Desmond… total beast on the drums, yeah?”
“Yeah, he’s great,” I say, though my tone probably doesn’t sound thrilled. It’s buried under the confusion over why this even warranted a phone call.
When James pauses again, I sigh. “Alright, wha—”
“We’ve finished all the recording,” he finally blurts.
I can practically hear the grin in his voice before the words even sink in. Then a cold ripple moves through my chest—a weird mix of adrenaline and anxiety crashing into each other. Because if they’re done recording, there’s only one thing that comes next.
“Gerald said he can master the entire thing within a week,” James says, practically buzzing. “We could release the record in two bloody weeks, Jax!”
My mouth falls open.
Two weeks?
I was expecting six. Minimum. That would’ve given us plenty of time.
Time for Allie to sort everything out with Trevor and the girls.
Maybe even leave us a little time for us to breathe, and find our normal again.
Because the plan was for us to ride the high together, not have the band’s big moment land right in the middle of all this shit.
The timing just isn’t right. If anything, it’s the literal worst.
But damn it… we fucking did it.
“Oh, that’s… that’s awesome,” I say, barely getting the words out through the smile I now can’t hold back.
“We did it, mate. This is it!”
A quiet laugh slips past my lips. “That’s incredible. Honestly, I thought it’d be delayed with everything going on with Casey leaving. Not fast-tracked.”
“Gareth wants to throw a party when you get back. So, no pressure or anything, but, y’know, hurry the hell up,” he says, then hangs up without waiting for a response.
I slowly lower the phone and just stare at it.
Two. Fucking. Weeks.
“Bad news?”
The voice makes me flinch, and I turn to find Ana leaning against her doorframe, arms folded across her chest and an eyebrow raised skeptically.
I glance over my shoulder toward the girls’ room again. Thankfully, they’re still in the same spot, giggling and chatting away like the world outside doesn’t exist.
Peeling my eyes away, I turn toward Ana and drag my hands down my face. “No, it’s actually good news.”
She tilts her head. “Well, if it’s good news, why do you look like someone just punched you in the balls?”
I shrug. “The record’s coming out sooner than we thought. Could be as soon as two weeks.”
Her mouth falls open. “That’s fantastic!” She steps forward and gives my forearm a squeeze.
I try to smile, but it doesn’t exactly land. “Yeah… it is.”
It should feel like a win—the biggest win. But right now, it doesn’t.
Ana raises a brow, frowning. “Woah, what’s that about?”
Ah, yes. Time for my favorite coping mechanism: deflection.
“Hey! How’s your book stuff going?” I ask, grinning way too hard.
Bravo, Jax.
She eyes me skeptically but still manages to toss her hair into a curly, messy bun. “It’s going,” she says with a shrug, then slaps her arms down at her sides. “I mean, we’ve got the New York trip next month, so at least that should be fun. Nice try, though.”
Fuck. Me. Better yet, fuck me twice—because that completely slipped my mind with everything going on.
Between finding a new drummer, Allie and Trevor’s court stuff, the girls, and traveling back and forth nonstop the past three months—there’s no bloody way this album can drop now.
I need to call Don, see if we can push it back, even if it’s just for a few weeks.
Before I can say anything, though, Ana holds up a hand like she can see the chaos already brewing in my brain.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa. It’s fine, Jax. You’ve had a lot on your plate these last few months,” she says.
“It’s only the biggest award of an author’s lifetime.
No big deal,” she adds, a smirk tugging at her lips.
I pinch the bridge of my nose and close my eyes. “I’m gonna talk to Don. We can delay the release by a few weeks—”
“What? No,” she says firmly. “I was kidding, Jax. These are good things happening in the middle of a really dark time. Allie needs something to look forward to. Don’t snuff that out just because you’re scared it’s too much for her.”
I blow out a slow breath and rub my temples.
“It’s just too much. The second that record drops?
Things are going to be nuts. Interviews, the label wanting a music video…
” I trail off, shaking my head, then run a hand through my hair.
“Then the tour in February, all the prep for it. It’s just way too much right now. ”
Ana tilts her head, eyes softening. “I know it feels like that for you, Jax. But think about Allie—she’s falling apart. She’ll tell you she’s fine, but she needs something good.”
Her words crash into me like a punch to the chest. Just the thought of Allie trying to hold herself together while everything around her falls apart makes my knees threaten to give out.
Although it shouldn’t surprise me, not with everything happening at once.
The custody shit. The fact that she still can’t drive out of town without needing to be talked down from a panic attack.
And then the weight of wanting another baby, knowing how hard it’s going to be.
She’s never said it out loud, but I know it’s eating at her.
She has two incredible daughters I already love as my own, but I also know how much it hurts her to wonder if she’ll ever carry another child.
To wonder if that choice was ripped away from her.
That’s all too much for one person. Especially with her being practically alone, and me still being well over four hours away.
That’s the part that hurts the most for me—knowing she’s going through this and pretty much bears it alone while I’m not here.
That’s what breaks me. That’s exactly why we’ve been trying to rush through recording.
So, I guess that’s the one silver lining.
At least now I have the freedom to be up here more often, even if only for a few weeks before everything blows up.
I turn back to check on the girls in time to see Charlotte laying a napkin on her bear’s lap and Lydia laughing so hard I swear she’s about to topple over. And they have absolutely no idea what’s going on around them. Not a clue what might happen if Trevor gets his way.
But if I have any say in it? Those girls aren’t going anywhere.
Not because some bitter bastard of a father wants to throw a tantrum worse than either of his daughters ever could.
Allie has built them a home. One filled with love, safety, and happiness.
She’s fought like hell to give them that.
And I’ll fight like hell right alongside her to keep it that way.
For them. For her. For whatever future we have waiting on the other side of this mess.
He had so many opportunities to make this right for his daughters, and clearly refuses to even try. That’s not how a father acts. Hell, that’s not how a decent human being acts.
And I’ll be damned if that’s the sort of role model these girls are left with.