Chapter Nine
LEE
20 years earlier
I had no idea when Ellie was supposed to be in our area to visit so I called Steff every day this week to ask her. She was annoyed at me and told me she would call when she knew.
But ever since our call on Monday, I’ve been thinking about what it will be like to see her again. I remember her smile and how soft her hands were and her eyes, oh I remember her eyes.
Damn! Those eyes.
I could get lost in those eyes.
I finally got her letter in the mail. She told me she missed me and that she’s been waiting for me. Last time she was here, I asked her if I could be her first kiss and told her to wait for me. I actually can’t believe someone hasn’t taken that away from me yet. I know Ellie had a boyfriend this year at school, well she said it wasn’t a boyfriend, but that’s what I’m calling it. She told me it couldn’t be called a relationship, that she only hung out with this guy in their friend group a couple times, and he tried to hit on her, it didn’t last long. But it still hurt. I didn’t want to look at any other girls; I only wanted her. I wish we lived closer. I told Mom we should move to Virginia – she thought I was joking at first and when she realized I was serious, she told me I would find someone else, and my crush would go away.
It’s not just a crush though.
I don’t know if I deserve her, but I want to prove that I do. I got in trouble at school this year; I did some pretty bad shit and I wanted to tell Ellie about it, but I didn’t know how that would make her look at me after she knew. I’m not a good guy, I’m all messed up and she’s perfect. She makes me want to change – in all the good ways.
This week has been literal hell waiting for her. I couldn’t wait to see her and when Steff finally called me the next day and told me Ellie would be here soon, I jumped out of my bed and made sure I was ready for her.
They were going to meet up at the go-cart place on El Dorado at 1’oclock. I told Mom she was on her way and asked if she could drop me off when she gets home.
“No, honey, not today. I have a million things to do once I get home from work.” She said.
“Mom! Ellie’s only going to be here today, I have to see her!” I begged.
She sighed in resignation because she knew how much this meant to me.
“Okay, I guess.”
By the time Mom and I arrived at the track, they had already been there for almost an hour. I thanked her and slammed the door, racing to the entrance to find Ellie. My eyes scanned the place and eventually landed on her, she was facing away from me and stepping out of the passenger side of a red go-cart. When she turned around, she spotted me and the smile she gave me lit up her face, making me loosen the grip I had on the handrail of the walkway.
I made my way down the ramp and crashed into her with the biggest hug. She stumbled backward from the force of my greeting but pushed back into me, burying her face in my neck. Her breath on my skin was enough to send chills down my arms and I kissed her forehead.
I didn’t even care that everyone was staring at us, until her brother walked over and cleared his throat. Great. He’s back in that over-protective big brother phase, I see. I peeled myself away from Ellie and she grabbed my hand, “Hi Leebie!”
I laughed because hello should have come before that hug, but I squeezed her hand in mine in response, making her smile again.
We walked toward the rest of the group where Steff was, and I could see that there were more of their cousins here today.
“There’s time for one more round, who’s racing who this time?”
Steff asked.
“Ellie, you haven’t driven yet, do you want to go?”
“Okay. But wait… which pedal is the gas?”
she asked, and everyone laughed.
“Serious question, guys!”
“You really don’t know which one is which?”
I asked her.
“Nope. Wanna be my passenger? You can help me!”
“Sure.”
I said and I hopped over the rail, beating her to the car so I could hold open the driver’s side door for her.
Once we were seated and buckled in, I pointed to the pedals and told her the left one was the brake and the right one was the gas. Instead of moving my hand back to my side of the car, I rested it on her knee, and she glanced over at me, a flicker of a smile forming in the corner of her mouth. She slammed on the gas and we both laughed as we were thrown back into our seats.
“Maybe not so hard on the gas pedal, lead foot!”
I hollered over the noise.
She laughed and then screeched “Ahhh! What do I do?”
as we neared the first turn, and she wasn’t turning the wheel. I reached over and grabbed the steering wheel and turned it so we wouldn’t hit the wall. By the second turn, she had figured it out but didn’t let off the gas and we ran into the car in front of us. Luckily there are bumpers on these go-carts, I shook my head and laughed out loud.
“Remind me not to get in a real car with you when you get your license!”
She tried to smack my arm but when she let go of the steering wheel, the car jerked toward the wall and she quickly corrected us, looking over at me with a big grin and a shrug.
“Your loss! Driving with me would be the highlight of your day!”
Yeah, it was.
We pulled back into the parking area, and I jumped out of the car so I could open her door.
“Well, thank you!”
“Of course.”
“Still trying to impress her, Lee?”
Ryan asked, walking over to us and slapping my hand in a friendly shake.
“Always!”
I responded loud enough so they could both hear me.
“Is it working?”
Ryan looked at Ellie.
“Yup!”
she nodded and looked over at me, her cheeks blushing.
“You guys are too cute!”
Steff said, leaning in to hug me.
* * *
We drove in separate cars and went to Denny’s for lunch afterwards. When I walked in, I saw there was an empty spot next to Ellie on the bench, so I slid in, and she scooted herself closer to me and grabbed my hand under the table. I don’t think I could ever get enough of this feeling when she touches me.
“So, you gonna finish telling me what you wanted to say on the phone?”
she asked in a whisper.
“Not here.”
I shook my head and whispered back.
“Wanna go outside?”
she titled her head toward the exit, and I nodded, pulling us out of the bench seat.
“Where are you guys going?”
Her brother asked.
“Just out front, I’m not really hungry anyways.”
Ellie told him and he shrugged. We walked outside and sat on the bench by the entrance to the restaurant, and she leaned her head on my shoulder and my arm wrapped around her.
“I wish I could see you every day so we can sit like this all the time.”
Her hand came up and rested on my chest where I’m sure she could feel the thumping of my heart.
This is it.
The perfect moment.
I’m going to kiss her now.
I looked down at her and she was looking up at me, expectantly, she wanted me to kiss her, I could feel it. She bit her lower lip and that just made me want this even more. I leaned in a little bit closer and just as our lips were about to touch, her mom interrupted us.
“Hey kids!”
She was getting out of her car with her boyfriend, and they stopped next to the bench. We separated and my heart sank when she kept talking, “Heading back to Grandma’s after lunch, okay Ellie.”
Then she walked away from us and into the restaurant.
“Already?”
I groaned.
“I just got you back, I don’t want you to go yet.”
“I know, this sucks.”
And I immediately decided that I wasn’t going to tell her about the trouble I had gotten into. I didn’t want to turn this into a pity party when I only have an hour, tops, left with her. She reached up and kissed me on the cheek and started to tell me about her plans for ninth grade and we continued our easy back and forth conversation while I waited for the next perfect moment to arrive so I could leave her with her first kiss.
Unfortunately for me, Steff came out with Ryan and plopped down next to us on the bench to go on about how they were going to miss her. I tried to give them my best go away glare, but they weren’t taking the hint and next thing we knew, everyone was coming out of the restaurant, ready to head out. Steff told me she was giving me a ride home and I reluctantly stood up, pulling Ellie’s hand with me.
I walked with her to the rental car her mom drove in and held the door open for her. We stood there, not sure how to say goodbye, my arm resting on the doorframe, looking into her eyes. I could see she was nervous because everyone was watching, and this wasn’t the perfect kiss that I wanted to leave her with. She silently mouthed goodbye and gave me the softest peck on the corner of my mouth. It wasn’t the kind of kiss I wanted but it still sent sparks flying through my entire body. I smiled and whispered back to her “Bye.”