Chapter Thirty-Eight “Olivia.”
Chapter Thirty-Eight
“Olivia.”
The way he said her name made her palms sweat.
Did he notice?
She had waited patiently and watched as he had read. Ski reading certain sections, closely reading others. Frowning, smiling, blushing. Every mistake, every joke, every innuendo.
Hannah had given the stamp of approval to the manuscript, sending it off to her literary agent with her own congratulatory bias; saying it was the best book from her yet, and shedding a small tear at the thought of Olivia not only finding her leading man, but also finding him.
By the time he was on the last page, she had seen all of the grins, all of the frowns and flickers across his face, and memorised them by heart.
And once he had finished, he closed the final page and sat there for a few beats.
The silence ate away at her nerves.
Did he not like it? Was it too obvious? She kind of hoped it would be obvious. She felt her heartbeat excessively in her chest at the extended silence between them. He opened and closed his mouth multiple times, eyes still heavy and set on the three-hundred-page final draft in front of him.
She watched as his fingers toyed with the corners of the pages, his jaw set in thought.
Theo took a deep breath, and then, like a perfect symphony, said her name.
Her goddamn name with the same deep baritone she had been compelled by from the very beginning.
Looking up, Theo’s eyes met hers. She watched the swirl of gold darken in his eyes, his body sitting up straight, and fully turning towards her.
Feeling her panic and nerves begin to surface, she began talking, overcompensating, excessive nattering about how it was just a draft and that she’d welcome more criticism even if it were to mean she would have to go back and edit once more.
That the leading man wasn’t perfect yet, that she could still improve it.
“Olivia,” he said again, as though saying her name once would never be enough. She loved the way his tongue formed her name, the way he pronounced the ‘l’, as if he was making slow and passionate love to each letter.
“Yes?” she breathed softly.
“It’s…” he started, before reaching up and messing up those stupidly perfect curls of his. He pursed his lips, glancing up at her with a look she had never seen before. His eyes mischievous, shining in a way that screamed words she had never heard. “I love your mind.”
Inhaling sharply, Olivia glanced at his lips. How she’d thought her name sounded from his lips was nothing compared to the way they formed the word love. It was the nicest compliment she had received by a long shot, and it had come from him.
Her lips wobbled slightly, tears of overwhelming joy threatening to fill her eyes.
“I’m so happy for you,” Theo continued. “Your writing…” He took a deep breath. “It’s… you’re amazing.”
A flush of scarlet spread across her cheeks, the kind words taking her off guard. Theo thought she was amazing.
“I love your mind.”
He thought she was brilliant.
It was as though her nerves were connected to an electric cable, a sharp spark of electricity starting her heart up once again as he smiled at her.
I love your mind too, she thought. I love all of you. I love you, she wanted to say, but she couldn’t. Not when he had just read her novel and called her brilliant and shared that look with her.
He would think she was being polite. Thanking her for finding her leading man rather than acknowledging that it was him.
Theo was her leading man.
He might neglect to acknowledge that he was the leading man she wanted forever. Not only for three hundred pages, but for the rest of her life. For every book she would write in the future. Fiction and non-fiction.
He wasn’t a fictional character she had made up.
No, he was the real thing.
And he was sitting right beside her, close enough that if she were to lean forward three inches, they would be sharing oxygen, and one inch further, and he would be tasting the latte and gingerbread biscuit she had scoffed nervously before he had finished the manuscript.
She wanted nothing more than for him to taste the hidden words on her lips, pry them out of her mind like he had when she was writing. If only he would read between the lines, he would notice.
Encoded throughout her novel, she had written him, in black and white, in technicolour.
Her eyes flicked down to his mouth, which was fighting off another smile, a smile she wanted to feel against her own. A smile she wanted to taste on her tongue. Feel on the corner of her mouth.
“Can I read it again?” Theo asked, already opening the manuscript once more.
Olivia grinned at his gleeful manner, before laughing at the way he greedily consumed the opening paragraph with such focus. He once again began to read her words, this time flicking his eyes up to hers during certain parts, winking at her whenever she caught his gaze.
Oh yeah, I definitely love this man, she thought, the thought sending silliness through her veins and setting off fireworks in her stomach.
She was suddenly quiet, nervous, unsure of how to approach the delicate subject of her feelings. She knew what she felt, and as ironic as it was for an author to say, she just didn’t know how to put that feeling into words.
It was a whole other level of writer’s block.
One that could only be solved by confrontation and honesty.
By admission.
It was now or never, and Olivia felt herself wanting to rip off the plaster while hoping she wouldn’t bleed out.
“I guess this is the end then,” Theo said, a small smile on his face. They had sat side by side, grinning and whispering like teenagers on a first date until the lights had dimmed and the coffee machine was cleaned.
“Yeah.” Olivia gave a small smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. They were walking towards the station, her arm looped through his. Her manuscript had been safely stowed back in her leather side bag, the thick paper feeling lighter knowing he approved of her story.
A light drizzle had begun an hour ago, and the two were riddled with small specks of misty rainfall.
The streets of London were lit with the white illumination emitting from Metro supermarkets and offices.
A steady movement of workers returning home made her glad to be tucked into Theo’s side, away from bumping into the rush of umbrella-laden men and high-heeled women making their way in groups downtown for the evening.
“Hey.” Theo grinned, elbowing her in the side playfully. He had been noticing the small line between her brow, the gentle furrowing of her bottom lip between her teeth since they had left the café.
Olivia looked over at him and gave him a small and restrained smile. “What?”
“You found your leading man.” Theo grinned smugly, tugging her forward and pulling her into his chest, his arm slinging over her shoulder as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
Over the past few months, it had almost become a natural act. As if he couldn’t have her any other place but tucked firmly into his side.
Where she belongs, he thought. Hugging her close to his body, he leaned down and kissed the high point of her cheek. “I’m so proud of you.”
It was a cheesy thing to say, he knew that.
But little comments, ones that would make her share a small smile and roll her eyes meant a lot more to her than she communicated.
After a few moments, he felt her thin arms snake around his waist, pulling him closer to her, and she burrowed her face right over his heart.
“I know. I no longer need your services,” Olivia teased, her voice breaking slightly at the end.
Theo squeezed her closer for a moment. “I’m glad I could be of assistance.”
“In all seriousness, Theo…” Olivia halted her steps, her chin tilting up towards him.
Every time he walked by her, Theo always marvelled at how small she was.
How he could easily wrap her into his side and made her feel protected and warm.
As though his arms were made for her. As if his shoulder was moulded to the shape of her head, the crook oh-so-deliciously accommodating her petite figure.
“Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“I don’t think that’s true. I think you would’ve written something magnificent either way—”
She was already shaking her head before he could finish his sentence. “No. You don’t understand.” She turned her body to face him, their lips now centimetres apart. “I couldn’t have done it without you.”
Theo let out an uncertain laugh, a drop of rain running down the side of his temple and towards the side of his lips. “What are you saying?”
Olivia bit her own lip, glancing at the drop of water that threatened to fall onto his plump lips. “What I’m saying is…”
Theo lowered his gaze to her neck, watching as she gulped heavily, before letting his eye flicker between her blue orbs and the dusty rose-coloured lip gloss she had on.
She puckered her lips gently, before speaking once more. “What I’m saying is… what if I don’t need your assistance anymore? What if… what if I want it?”
“Olivia—” he began.
“When I was writing… I realised something.” He glanced down at the women standing before him. Even in the rain, even in damp clothing, her lipstick smudged slightly and a frown on her face, she was still the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
Nothing had changed in that regard since the moment he had first laid eyes on her all those months ago.
“I realised that my leading man, the one who you just read, the one who is attentive and listens, the one that is respectful, and kind. Loving and smart. Loyal and ambitious. Passionate. I realised that… my leading man is you.”
Olivia took a deep breath. “I know it sounds crazy, and I didn’t even believe it.
It took me until I was sitting in my literary agent’s office, questioning the quality of my work, that I realised I had written you.
That I couldn’t change it. I didn’t want to.
I simply refuse to, because the man I had written is you.
The man who is my lead character, who I had fallen madly and deeply in love with… is you.”
Theo felt the cool misty rain settle on his warm skin, her confession raining down on him and sinking deep into his bones like the rain through his coat. “You wrote me?”
“Yes.” The one-word confession almost felt sacred and holy. “I wrote you. I know I shouldn’t have, and I know it sounds absolutely crazy, but you’re my leading man, Theo. You always have been and—”
His lips cut off her rambling, cool wet lips slanting easily with the rain over hers. The taste of gingerbread and warm coffee made him groan, before he grabbed her face with a firm hand, tilting her jaw up just enough to brush his lips more intently against hers.
Olivia sighed into his hold, lips moving against his, the soft kiss becoming more heated as she pressed her lip gloss covered lips to his firmly.
They couldn’t get enough of each other, lips moving fast then slow, her hands twisting around the long collar of his navy coat and dragging him closer to her.
Lifting herself up onto her tiptoes, she let out a soft moan against his lips, the taste of coffee and cool rain sending shivers down his spine, until her front was pressed up against his, and the bustling noise of the central London street was nothing but a dim hum in the background.
All he could feel was her. All he could think was her. All he could taste was her. He swore he could kiss her forever and never get bored of the soft, plump lips and the taste of purely her.
Each time he had allowed himself to think of her as something more, he had pulled back, cautious of both her heart and his thoughts.
But his mother was right. He could try to be careful with her, but Olivia was a tornado of love barrelling through his city and destroying everything he had ever known. She was a force to be reckoned with, leaving debris and litter of the sweetest thoughts and touches in her wake.
During their time together, he had begun to welcome her destruction, and now he craved it.
“Get a room!” someone shouted, causing the pair to break apart, their lips humming with the same electricity buzzing in the small space between them.
They both looked over at the young teenage boy biking away down the street, before turning back to each other.
Theo stared into her eyes, getting lost in their deep blue hue.
The sides of her eyes crinkled up, and before they knew it, they were standing in the middle of the London street, under the dim glow of the streetlights, laughing.
“You’ve got a little something—” Olivia reached up and wiped some of her lip gloss off from the corner of his mouth.
“Oh yeah? Well you’ve got a little something—” Theo leaned forward, capturing her lips once more, grinning into her mouth as he felt her own smile against his lips.
“Come on, let’s get you out of this rain,” he said, pulling her back into his side, this time grasping her tightly around her waist and leaning down to whisper into her ear. “And out of these clothes.”
Olivia flushed bashfully, hitting him on the arm, knowing full well when they got back to her apartment that he would follow through on his word.