5. Chapter 5
Chapter five
Look where I am! photo of kayaks on lake
LANA
I love that you send me a variation of the same photo every year
Have to celebrate where the love of your lifetime started
LANA
Thank goodness you and Amaya ditched me for Lake Games that year so Mateo had the chance to swoop in and rescue me heart eyes emoji
Let’s not forget me talking some sense into you to get back together. I deserve an award
LANA
I hereby dub thee Queen of Accidental Matchmaking. Please appreciate the time I took to capitalize
queen emoji
LANA
Now go have fun supervising the fun!
I slide my phone into my skort pocket, smiling to myself. Each year, Arrow hosts a big social at a nearby lake over Labor Day weekend. It’s a chance for students to participate in games and relays, plus get free dinner. Mateo stepped in to patch up Lana’s heart when the guy she’d crushed on all of college led her on one too many times at the Lake Games senior year. It was the initial spark of their ridiculously lovable relationship, so I can’t resist an annual text to Lana about it.
Today has largely been planned by Lucas, one of the single guys who joined the staff team the year after I did. He asked me out, and we went on one date last year. But I immediately knew we weren’t compatible as a couple. Thankfully, he was cool about it, and things have been mostly not awkward between us. Which is good, since we can’t avoid seeing each other an average of four times a week. I’m secretly hoping that he and Gina might hit it off this year.
One of the perks of being a staff member is that I can assign myself to oversee various events as opposed to participating. Dirty lake water is low on my list of pleasurable experiences. I’d much rather spend the day socializing on land than steeping in the fish pee.
Hours later, I’m driving a car full of TriAlphas back to their sorority house. Normally, I’d blare music to encourage car dancing, but the girls are all chattering so enthusiastically that I leave the volume low. Hearing them talk about the fun they had today, the connections they made, and their excitement for the year hits me in my feels.
I really do love this job.
But lately, little flickers of doubt about my future on staff have started popping up. This year will finish out my initial commitment, so I’ll have to decide by spring break if I’m going to recommit or not. Twelve months ago, I wouldn’t have even dreamed that I’d be considering other possibilities.
Although this job provides ample variety to spice up my daily schedule, lately, I’ve been feeling a restlessness I can’t explain. It started last spring when an AOPi I was mentoring was in the middle of student teaching. Processing life with her each week brought back all the memories of my time spent in schools doing practicums and my final semester of being in the classroom full time. Although I felt confident in my decision to accept the offer to come on staff with Arrow, a part of me has always felt a little bit sad about not using my special education degree .
My near-breakdown last month probably didn’t help matters. But I’m feeling more balanced and level-headed after just two Wednesdays with my church small group. However, hearing Brooks’ passion for teaching at small group gave a dose of caffeine to that niggling career restlessness.
After parking in front of the TriAlpha house, I hop out to go inside with the girls I’m dropping off. I’d love nothing more than to take a shower and relax after a long day, but I want to say a quick hello to anyone hanging out in the common areas.
I manage to keep my time short but sweet, reconnecting with several sophomores I already know and meeting two new girls. I’m heading through the foyer to the front door when I hear my name.
Nothing could have prepared me for the moment I swivel on my heel and end up face-to-face with Bailey Williams.
Amaya and Lana are not going to believe this. What’s with all these blasts from the past?
Like a tiny pebble in your shoe, Bailey was a constant irritant to our time in college. She was the president of TriAlpha at the same time Amaya was the president of AOPi, but Bailey’s condescending remarks about our sorority started our freshman year.
Of the three of us, I had the most cordial relationship with Bailey, possibly because I worked with her on social activities for Arrow a handful of times. Or maybe because I’m the least ambitious of our squad. Her snooty attitude toward us and AOPi didn’t rub me quite as raw, but it drove Lana and Amaya crazy. And I’ll defend my Beefs to the death, so I stayed distant from Bailey throughout college.
A half-second assessment reveals that nothing has changed about Bailey. At least, not outwardly. Her hair, makeup, and outfit are styled to perfection, just like always. Even her eyebrow raise at the sight of me evokes intense déjà vu. Of course, I would run into her after spending six hours in the blazing sun having my hair blown apart by the Kansas wind. Fantastic.
“Bailey?” I recover quickly. “I can’t believe it’s you! What are you doing here? I thought you moved to Texas?”
A look flashes through Bailey’s eyes that I can’t quite decipher. She responds, “I was in Texas, but I moved back here to Brooklyn a couple of weeks ago. I’m the new assistant nutritionist for the athletic department at Townsend. Since I’m back in town, I signed up to be one of the chapter advisors for TriAlpha. Are you still on staff with Arrow?”
“Yeah, I am!” I reply, covering up my mixed feelings about seeing her again with an extra chipper voice. “We just finished Lake Games—I’m sure you remember that.”
Bailey huffs a laugh. “Paddling around the lake collecting giant rubber ducks isn’t exactly a forgettable experience. It was fun the first couple of years, but I can’t say I’ve missed that particular event. Good for you to keep it going.” She says this with a smile, but I can’t read if she’s being sincere or patronizing.
“Well, it was nice seeing you again. I have a Bible study with some TriAlphas, so I’ll probably see you around.” I say this with a smile, but I’m not sure if I’m being sincere or forced.
I arrive home to an empty house. Before I can make my way to the bathroom for a shower, a calendar reminder dings on my phone.
Call Mom.
Flopping onto my bed, I debate ignoring the alert. My mom and I have a good relationship, but I tend to be a bit of an “out of sight, out of mind” type of person. Consequently, I forget to stay in touch with people (the Beefs are my one exception to this natural tendency). I set alerts in my calendar every couple of weeks reminding myself to call my family members, staggering them so I don’t get too overwhelmed. Which means I shouldn’t ignore this one.
It’s a little after 9:00 p.m., but I inherited my night owl disposition from my mom. I know she’ll be awake and kicking. I hit the call icon next to her name.
She answers after a few rings. “Well, hi there! Phone calls from both my babies in one day—this must be my lucky Saturday!”
“Hey, Mom! So you talked to Logan today too? What’s he up to?” I ask. My brother is two years older than me and lives in St. Louis. He’s an engineer who does . . . engineery things. I’ve never quite understood his job.
“Oh, same old, same old,” Mom replies. “Nothing too exciting on the St. Louis front. What about the Brooklyn front? How are you? Anything new? ”
“I’m great! A little tired, but that’s only because it was Lake Games day,” I say. A half-second debate about whether or not to mention Brooks to my mom takes place in my mind. But my brain quickly squashes the notion of talking about Brooks any more than necessary. “A little something new—I joined a small group with some other twenty-somethings at my church this year! That’s been a nice change of pace to be around peers without having to lead anything.”
“That’s fantastic, Teegan. I’m so glad you’re making time for that. Have you met some nice people?”
I fill Mom in on the small group members, leaving Brooks’ name out of the mix. Flipping the focus, I ask how her job is going.
“It’s wonderful. I think I’m getting into the groove, and I really enjoy putting my skills to use,” she responds. A few months ago, Mom started working as an executive assistant to the CEO of a small company in Kansas City. She never worked a job outside the home when I was growing up. My dad’s career as a contract lawyer provided well for our family, so when Logan was born, she became a stay-at-home mom.
She was the class mom, the PTA president, the head of the booster club, and every other supportive parental role you can think of. And she was incredible at all of it . Everything she touched turned into a well-oiled machine. Mom never met a mess she couldn’t organize. It makes perfect sense that she'd kill it as an executive assistant.
After my parents got divorced my sophomore year of college, Mom struggled with depression for the next year. With help from a therapist and taking medication for a season, her mood improved drastically my senior year. But she still struggled to find a career path after so many years of being disconnected from the workforce. I’m grateful that she’s finally found the right professional niche.
We chat for a few more minutes before hanging up. Before I head to the shower, I decide to text Logan.
Just talked to mom. She said you called today too
LOGAN
Yep. She seems to be happy with her new job. Don’t you think?
Definitely. Which is amazing. All good with you?
LOGAN
Nothing new. Want me to explain what I did at work this week or spare you the space out?
Spare yourself
Not that I don’t love you
Me understanding engineering is a lost cause
LOGAN
Haha, I know. But I love you anyway. And I still don’t completely understand what you do day to day either
And I still love you anyway
“You’re kidding me,” Lana says.
“What’s with all these people from the past showing back up in your life?” Amaya adds, face looking as shocked as Lana’s on our weekly video call.
“Thank you! I’ve been asking God the same question!” I exclaim. I’ve just filled them in on running into Bailey last night. They’re responding with exactly the dismay that I expected from them. Which is the perfect diversion from having to talk about Brooks again.
We briefly reminisce about the AOPi glory days—Lana and I are careful to steer clear of mentioning our homecoming loss to TriAlpha senior year. It’s one of Amaya’s biggest sore spots, despite the fact that she’s killing it in the real world.
“Oh, Lana! I forgot to mention this—you’d be proud to know that Sofia is following in your footsteps,” I say. “She told me at Bible study this week that she’s volunteering at The Hangout like you did with her. We’re switching our group to Monday nights so that she can be at The Hangout on Tuesdays!”
Lana grins. “I love that girl so much! Please give her an extra squeezy hug from me next time you see her!”
I scout’s honor promise, and then Lana has to sign off to study for a big test. Her window closes from the video call, but Amaya stops me from hanging up. “I know you’re enjoying making friends at your church small group, but it doesn’t sound like you’ve cut back on your work schedule at all.”
Winding a strand of hair around my finger, I shrug and avoid eye contact.
“Teeg . . .”
“I don’t know what to cut back on, though!” I exclaim. “I can’t exactly cut out the Thursday nights or staff meetings. And the four Bible study groups I’m leading are already set in stone for the semester. If I’m going to get one-on-one mentoring time with girls, it has to be during the weekdays. And I won’t have close relationships with any of the girls if I don’t spend social time hanging out with them in the sororities or wherever. What do you expect me to do?”
“At least start taking your weekends off!” Amaya chides. “You’ve temporarily avoided the flaming burnout you were headed toward at the start of the semester. But you still need to find more ways to fill up your cup if you’re going to keep pouring out so much.”
“Right, like you take all your weekends off,” I retort with an exaggerated glare.
“I like working,” Amaya huffs.
“Well, maybe I like working too,” I scoff.
“I wasn’t the one hiding in the kitchen a few weeks ago,” Amaya replies, eyebrow raised.
“Touché,” I concede. “I promise I’ll take time to myself on the weekends. I’ll try to find a hobby that I get excited about that doesn’t involve Arrow students.”
Amaya gives a nod of approval. “Speaking of weekends to yourself, I wanted to tell you about an event going on here in KC next weekend that I think you’d enjoy,” she says. “There’s going to be a silent disco in the Power and Light District downtown.”
“You have my full attention,” I say, sitting up straighter.
Amaya laughs. “I knew you’d be intrigued. I thought of you as soon as I saw the info. It’s Saturday night—I’m going to be in Wichita for my mom’s birthday, but maybe you could convince some of your new church friends to come with you. It sounds exactly up your alley.”
“It sounds like an alley that I would create. In fact, maybe I should look into planning a similar event for an Arrow social sometime!” I say.
“Don’t turn this into a work thing,” Amaya chides with an eye roll. “Just come and have fun , Teeg.”
“You’re right. Not that you ever need to be told that you’re right.” Amaya raises a smug eyebrow. “Text me the info for Saturday!”
As soon as we hang up, Amaya sends me the event page, which I promptly forward to my small group chat.
Hey everyone! One of my best friends who lives in KC told me about this silent disco happening next weekend. You can click the link to see all the info. Would anyone be up for a road trip?? It would be so fun to go together!
I wait, staring at my phone, hoping that other people will want to join.
brOOKS
I’m totally in. Sounds like a blast!
My heart skips a beat at Brooks being the first to respond. And so enthusiastically. Don’t make a big deal out of it, Teegan. That’s simply Brooks’ personality.
NATALIE
I work that night or I totally would!
SARAH
Count me in!
WILL
Sounds like fun—I’ll let you know later this week if I can make it.
JASON
Yeah, I’ll plan on it.
The rest of the group sends regrets and reasons they can’t go, which is fine. We’ll have the perfect number of people to carpool and have a good time socializing.