Chapter 25
I finish packing my bag for Area 51.
I make sure to pack enough for the several days we planned to be away and plenty of underwear, as always. I zip the duffel and tuck my “I Want to Believe” shirt into my jeans. That, arguably, is the most important part.
After sending my late-night email, I checked the shared Google Doc we’ve used to plan our travel to see if Hayden’s made any changes. He hasn’t.
8:00 a.m. Hayden drops off Cthulhu at cat hotel.
8:30 a.m. All meet at Skroll offices to load up car.
9:00 a.m.—4:00 p.m. Drive to Rachel, NV.
Nora and I load into my car bright and early as we head into Hollywood to meet at the Skroll offices as planned. She tries to reach Jamie, but her calls and texts go unanswered. I try to call Hayden several times, but he often turns his phone off on trips to not mess with EMF readings, so I don’t expect to reach him.
It’s still early and most of the company hasn’t made it into the office yet, but among the sea of clear and white desks and computers, we do not find Hayden or Jamie. Fuck.
“I’m going to check the kitchen,” Nora huffs, still out of breath.
I still don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know if laying out Cade’s years of torment and my disgust at his comments online was a good idea, but it felt like the only thing I could do. I have no idea if it’ll get me fired or torpedo The Out There more than I already have.
But I had to try.
As Nora vanishes and I try to catch my breath, Kevin swaggers his way through the office with a young girl at his side. She’s tall, with muted dark hair, clutching a notebook, pencil behind her ear. I like her style—offbeat, like she’s trying to make bolder choices but is afraid to.
“Hallie!”
Well, that doesn’t sound like the voice of someone who read my email this morning…
I fake my best smile and decide to play coy. “Morning, Champ.”
“Hallie, I want you to meet my niece, Effy. She’s going to be interning here this summer and she mentioned how much she enjoyed your show. I figured she’d want to meet you, if you were around. I wasn’t sure if you’d already be heading to shoot the last episode.”
I’m not sure if I want to curse the garbage truck that held us up for five minutes or sigh in relief that Kevin still wants a last episode. It’s still another chance to prove our show is worth it and proof that sticking up for myself did not bite me in the ass.
“Yeah, Nora and I are meeting them there,” I say. “It’s nice to meet you, Effy.”
There’s a hardness to Effy that I wish I’d had at her age—a firm handshake and a determined gaze.
Kevin’s phone buzzes and he looks down. “Sorry, you two. I have to step into a quick meeting, so feel free to talk amongst yourselves.” Kevin slips into a conference room. Do I need to show her around? Am I supposed to teach her how to work the vending machine? As nice as this girl seems, I’m kind of in a rush. Once Nora comes back, we’re out of here.
“Thank you for watching,” I say. “We really appreciate it.”
“Of course. I can’t wait for the last two episodes, and hopefully season two.”
I struggle to find the right words. So much is still in limbo, but I hate the idea of disappointing a kid. She can’t be more than twenty. Thankfully, Effy continues for me.
“I’ve been begging my uncle Kevin to—”
“He lets you call him Kevin?”
“As opposed to?” she asks.
“You know what, never mind.”
“Can I ask you something?” Effy says.
“Of course.”
She picks at the corner of her notepad. “How do you stand out against all these guys?”
My brows rise. “How do I…stand out?”
“Yeah. I’ve been watching Skroll’s videos for years, and they were always fun, but it was just…all guys. There were so few people who weren’t just average white guys. Then your show got made.”
Skroll has always been a bit of a boys’ club. Nora and some of our other writers and contributors show up in passing, but there have been so few other women featured prominently in their shows. I was so busy trying to please Cade I didn’t realize how much work there was to do here.
“I don’t know,” she continues, her words picking up speed. “I feel like you found a way to be yourself and be successful. I guess from where I’m standing, it’s tough to imagine being yourself and having that be enough. You always said what you wanted and didn’t care if Hayden disagreed with you. And he respected you for it. I like that you don’t care what people think.”
Words ball up in my throat, and I’m not sure what to say. Sure, the girl I came across as on The Out There was vibrant, always ready to fight and stick up for herself. With Hayden, I always knew I could. I was fun and on for the cameras, but I haven’t always been that way.
For years, I did what I believed I had to to succeed, to please Cade. I was so angry at the girl who did that for so long. How could anyone believe Cade had my interests in mind?
But, if I’ve learned anything, it’s that beliefs can change.
“This is my first real job. I guess I’m nervous about being good enough.” There’s a look in her eyes that says I want to kick ass , and I respect that. I wish I had her tenacity back then. “I want to be taken seriously.”
I think of what I needed to hear years ago. What would have given me the worth to stick up for myself? What would have made me braver? I can’t lecture past-Hallie. I can only move forward. And I can only do what good I can.
“I think…I think you find the people who believe in you as you are, and fuck the rest of them.”
She laughs. “You make it sound easy.”
“It isn’t,” I say. “Not always, but I guarantee it’s worth it.”
“Right.” She clears her throat. “Thank you. Really. This is kind of embarrassing, but I bought a box of the hair dye you talked about on Instagram. But I got the pink color. Influencer culture at its finest, I guess. I’m not sure how it’ll look.”
“Damn,” I say. “They really have to start sponsoring me.”
My phone buzzes in my pocket and yelling echoes from the Shocked Pikachu conference room. Both Effy and I glance up at the door. Right away, I place Kevin’s voice…and then Cade’s.
The door swings open and Cade storms out and charges directly for me. At one point, his blond locks and big blue eyes felt like the key to my success. He’d listen to me talk for hours, tell me I was brilliant and smart and there was no one like me. He told me we’d do great things together. He told me he loved me because it kept me going. He took so much from me that I didn’t even know who I was by the time I left. But now, I have a far better idea.
His hair is a mess, cheeks blown red with rage. I’ve seen this side of Cade so many times. If I didn’t put his dishes away, if I took too long in the shower or getting ready, if I didn’t want to go along with his plans. He’d yell, belittle me, never relenting until he’d won. I believed it was what I deserved. I believed I had to endure to matter eventually.
Now I know I don’t have to.
I’m brave (I have spent so many nights in haunted houses and went camping once), I’m smart, I have a great eye for talent, and I’m somebody who deserves to be taken care of. I’m someone who deserves to be loved, and loved by someone far better than Cade.
“What do you want?”
“What have you done?” Cade seethes.
Ah, so Kevin did read my email. I don’t know what to make of this yet. I’m not sure if Skroll is giving Cade a slap on the wrist I’ll pay the price for, or if they will actually do something about his bullshit.
“I need you to tell them that none of it is true—”
“Cade.” My glare narrows. “You said it all yourself. You promoted it. Everyone knows what you said, and you were so damn proud of it. What changed?”
“I am going to lose everything . Because you are a lying bitch. Tell them it’s not true—”
He grips my wrist. His voice is angry but desperate . Cade doesn’t ask for anything. Cade takes what he wants and he always wins. Always. For the first time in my life, I’m hearing him plead for something.
I don’t flinch at his words. He can call me what he wants. I yank my hand away, shaking him off me like water from a public restroom, where he belongs with wet toilet paper.
“Why should I care? After all you’ve done to me, why should I care?”
“Because they fucking fired me, Hallie.”
“I’m sorry, what ?”
“I am getting fired !” he repeats, like I need to hear it in another sentence to understand it. And hell, maybe I do. My brain stops in its tracks. Fired . Cade is fired .
It might be the first time he’s ever not blatantly gotten away with his shitty behavior. Naturally, this brings me joy. He won’t have a job.
He won’t have Noobie Brothers .
With Noobie Brothers out of the running…
So, instead of giving an answer or anything useful, I laugh.
“You’re laughing? I’m getting fired and you’re laughing ? It’s not fucking funny, Hallie.”
I shake my head. “Sure, but why do I care?”
“Because you can’t let them do this. Skroll is everything . If I lose my show, if I lose my job—what am I supposed to do? I’m nothing without it.”
“Shame.”
The world doesn’t need any more assholes playing games.
“Hallie—” Cade begs, his hands coming to my face. His gaze softens and he pleads with me. I know this tone of voice from some of his vilest moments.
Don’t take it personally.
I only want the best for you.
No one will love you like I do. You know that.
With Effy hovering behind me, probably wondering what kind of a workplace Skroll is, I need to prove my point. Fuck the rest of them.
I swat his hand away from me and he backs up like he’s been smacked. He’s very close to being smacked. “Don’t touch me. Ever.”
“Don’t be like this—”
“I’m going to be like this.”
“Please, Hal. I’m begging you.”
“Begging me?” I smile. Begging has never sounded so good.
His expression drops. Again. “Yes. Please. Please . Call this all off.”
I spent three years caving to Cade’s desires and putting them above mine. Three whole years of choosing someone else over myself. Why should I allow him any other victories?
“No,” I say.
“ No ?” he snaps. Now I know the rage in his eyes. It’ll be followed by words like “What did you say?,” “Do you want to repeat that?,” or “I think I misheard you.” But not today.
“No. I think I’m going to let them fire your ass.”
His eyes widen, and he’s too frozen to fight back.
“And I will not take back what I said. I think you’ve given them more than enough reason to believe me.”
I turn to Effy. Maybe it’s not in good taste to tell off my shitbag ex in front of an intern, but judging by the way she covers her mouth with her notebook to hide her smile, I don’t think she’s going to say anything. I rest a hand on her shoulder.
“I think your hair would look great in pink. Uh, if you don’t mind…I have somewhere I need to be.”
Just as I say this, Nora skids back into the office on her heels. “They’re not here anymore!”
“I know, we need to go.” Nora looks to Cade and scowls. I wave her in my direction to hurry up. “Come on. We need to give him time to clean out his desk.”
“Are you fired?” she asks Cade. She bounces on her toes when his glare only becomes more intense. “That is hilarious .”
“Nora!”
I’m already booking it toward the door as she turns to me and hops to attention. “Okay, what now?”
“We need to get to Area 51.”