CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Nick
My nerves are still in recovery from the whiplash I got from Marcy over the weekend.
Looking back, I can see my errors. I should have just called her, maybe even explained what I was planning to do on Saturday, but I couldn’t risk getting her hopes up about something that I wasn’t convinced would happen.
After spending nearly every moment of free time I have had with Marcy for the past month, it was clear to me that I wasn’t going to be ready to leave her at the end of my contract.
She is smart, funny, kind, and so damn sexy.
Everything I could ask for in a partner, and the best part of it all is that she became my best friend.
There is something about loving your friend that makes all those scary parts of you seem less so.
That longing that was picking at me has been quieted since acknowledging that I was sharing life’s burdens with someone else.
Someone I want to spend all my time with, experiencing life from the mundane to the thrill seeking and everything in between.
I don’t care that she has terrible taste in music or can’t change a lightbulb, or that she gets overly invested in the Bravo couples.
She feels every bit that she’s mine. Mine to hold, mine to care for, mine to cherish, and I can’t shake this knowing feeling that we should be together.
Have I told her any of that directly?
No, not exactly.
Instead, I applied for the chief operating officer role about a week ago.
Much to my surprise, Keith was excited that I would be willing to consider the opportunity.
We decided to meet on Saturday to go over the details of the position, including hashing out what our goals for the hospital would be going forward.
I couldn’t accept the job if Keith, the CEO, seemed put-off by my visions for the role and for the business.
He and I need to be a team, regardless of how ridiculous he can be.
The meeting went much longer than I anticipated.
We ended up talking, arguing, and ultimately harmonizing over a few beers about what the hospital and community would benefit from.
I told him about Marcy and me, which in hindsight, I realize she may not be thrilled with.
I was exhausted and weak after the day of marathon interaction with Keith, and I realized that if she is the main reason I am going to take this job, then I don’t want there to be anything standing in our way of being together.
Keith was more than supportive, he was eerily excited for us and told me there should be no issues with human resources, since Marcy can still report to him directly.
I didn’t realize Keith is a romantic.
I check my watch. The announcement should have been made by now, and I hope that Marcy isn’t made more upset by the fact that she didn’t hear about my new position from me. I want to give her time to process the information without my influence, without our attraction staring her in the face.
I am going to stay in North River, I am praying to every mythical and religious figure that Marcy wants the same.
Every moment we have shared since we first kissed in my office has been life affirming, directing me down a path that I couldn’t envision but desperately wanted to find.
Marcy is the light, the guide, that my whole being was thrumming for.
She needs to want a life with me the way I want to have one with her, but I won’t force that out of her.
My phone vibrates, and I jump with nervous energy.
It’s a text from Marcy.
Well, that’s a bit ominous, but to be expected.
I did make an enormous, life-changing decision, well more than one, without consulting my girlfriend.
We never even had a clear conversation about confirming our relationship, but there are no doubts in my mind.
Then I let my girlfriend be blind-sided in the middle of a work meeting with one of said huge decisions.
Okay, so my inexperience in relationships is showing a bit. Fuck Nick, get it together.
Me: Yes of course, meet at the bottom of your stairs after work tomorrow? We can walk and talk?
Marcy: *Thumbs up Emoji*
Oh, that one hurts. Might as well have sent me the middle finger.
Me: Great. I won’t be at work again tomorrow, so I will just see you then. ?
I watch as the texting bubbles bounce up and down…
and stop…and bounce up and down…and stop.
And nothing. I put down my phone and crash into the bed in my hotel room that I barely recognize anymore.
I need to organize my thoughts and make sure I am ready to have the most important conversation of my life.