Chapter 21 #2
She lets out a dramatic sigh. “You’re driven, and even though it’s made you an asshole in the past, I do like that about you.
You’re actually considerate now. And watching you operate, watching you talk to your patients—you’re a great physician, and top notch at problem solving. It’s sexy to watch you work.”
A wave of shock passes over me. I hadn’t expected her to be that complimentary, even though I was fishing. I stare at her face while my hands are still moving on her stomach.
“That was really genuine.”
She opens her eyes and presses her hands over mine. “Thank you for that. I do feel better.” Her eyes crinkle. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to tell me what you like about me.”
“I’ve already told you what I like about you, anyway.” I roll my eyes. “Pretty much everything.” I swallow. “And you’re so beautiful I can’t keep my eyes off you.”
She rolls to her side with a groan. “You keep being adorable. It’s maddening.” Her hands cover her face. “I can’t stand this.”
I pull her hands away. “I’m glad you like me.” I inhale, then speak on a rushed exhale. “I was starting to feel lonely.”
“Lonely?” Her forehead scrunches.
“Yeah.” I roll my lips. “I thought I was alone in how I was feeling.”
Her gaze turns wary. “And how is that?”
“You know what I mean,” I say softly. “The pining. Yearning.” I brush a hand along her foot, and she shivers. “Aching.”
She turns her head to the ceiling. “Damn you.” When she looks at me again, her face shifts to an expression of resolve. “Okay. Tell me more about you then. Something I don’t know.”
“Hmm.” I scratch my chin. I run my hands over her gorgeous legs, admiring the view as I think. “You remember Tom? That gangly guy I used to hang with in high school some? He played football with me.”
“Tom Buckman? Yeah. Me and my friends used to call him the chinless menace.”
I laugh. “He deserves that. But I hated him even then. Not as much as I disliked myself, but close.” I trace a path along her shin.
Her legs are so smooth I want to rub my face against them.
“I know that I had a problem with feeling like having money meant I should automatically be more successful than those who didn’t.
I cared too much what other people thought of me.
That guy, though. He would have committed terrible crimes if he thought it would win him points with his friends. ”
“Sometimes belonging to a group is more important than the truth,” she says.
“That’s a lot of wisdom for a Sunday night.”
She pulls her legs off me and sits up. “I have some good thoughts occasionally.” She bends forward to put her elbows on her knees. “So you aren’t still friends with him, I take it?”
“Hell no. I don’t know what happened to him. He’s got an uncle who’s a politician, so for all I know he’s into that. Or he went to prison. Who knows.” I scoot closer to her so that our thighs press together. “Tell me about your friends. The ones you’re really close to. The other nurses, I mean.”
“Well, you met Maria at the gym. She’s kinda shy, but she’s a steady rock, like the heartbeat of our group.
Gwen can be grumpy when you meet her, but she’s actually really soft and loving inside.
” She gives me a sly smile. “She grew up rich. Way richer than you. East coast, Connecticut kind of wealth.”
“And you don’t dislike her on principle?”
She shrugs. “I never claimed to be consistent. My friend Joan, the blonde one, is tall like me, even taller than me, actually. She’s this amazing athlete.
She’s our peacemaker, and probably the most optimistic out of all of us in some ways.
” She laughs. “I feel like I’m talking about the seven dwarfs.
Bashful, Grumpy, Happy. But they’re obviously much more complex than that. ”
“Which dwarf would you be in this case?” I nudge her leg.
“Doc, I hope.” At my groan, she laughs again. “Sorry, that was really corny. Ugh. Gwen says I’m our shit-stirrer, which sounds about right, don’t you think?”
“I like that about you, though. You’re just not intimidated by anything.”
“Isn’t that what you were trying to squash, though? When we were younger? I always thought that’s how bullying worked. It’s a power dynamic.”
I blow out a breath. “Honestly, even after hundreds of hours of therapy, I still don’t know.
But I’m glad you fought back. I’ll say that.
It drove me crazy at the time. You just didn’t seem to care what I thought.
” We’re leaning on each other now. “Are you going to move back there you think? After you’re done with school? ”
“I don’t know. I know they need doctors. It’s hard to imagine, though. Sometimes I think it’s better for me to be away from there. What about you?”
“Definitely not.” I shake my head. “I know the area needs help, and sometimes the people promising that aren’t the right ones to help them. But I’m not sure it can be me.”
“I totally understand.” She stands. “You want a drink or anything?”
“Nah.”
She cocks her head. “You want to stay here with me?” Her voice is quiet. “Is that a weird thing to ask?”
“Kendall. I’ll spend any extra time I have with you. All my minutes.” I smile. “And I’m wearing sweats. I can sleep in those.”
“I have an extra toothbrush. We can go watch something in my room, if you want.”
“Yeah.” My heart dances an erratic rhythm in my chest. “I would really like that.”
She finds a toothbrush for me, and we get ready for bed together. I keep extra clothes and scrubs in my car, so I don’t need to go home in the morning. We settle under Kendall’s covers together, and she turns the television on.
I reach for her, and our limbs tangle together. My hands wander over her back, up to her shoulders, and she does the same to me, like we can’t get enough of this contact.
“What are we going to do about Dr. Gambill?” she murmurs into my neck.
“What do you mean? You want to kill him?”
“He jokes again,” she says. “That’s two in one month.” She pulls her head back. “He knows.”
I shrug. “He can’t prove anything. And anyway, we aren’t doing anything wrong.”
“I’m worried.”
“Don’t be.” I stroke her back again. “It’s going to be fine.”
“Easy for you to say.” She squeezes me around the middle. “This feels an awful lot like a boyfriend sort of sleepover.” Her voice trembles a little.
A flash of heat travels up my body. I could play that sentence on a loop for the next few weeks and never tire of it.
“Is that a bad thing?” I scoot closer to her, even though we are already plastered against each other.
“Grant . . .”
“Yeah. I know.”
This is hurting both of us, but I can’t seem to stop. Our self-imposed deadline is less than two weeks away, and it’s approaching with lightning speed. I’m going to soak in her presence in the meantime, whether or not it’s actually a good idea.
It’s Friday, and Kendall and I have spent almost every night this week together.
We’ve been bouncing back and forth between each other’s places and pretending that isn’t a huge deal.
Now we’re together again. My roommate is at the hospital, so I have her alone.
I’ve got big plans for her involving a lack of clothing and more than thirty minutes together.
She sits on the couch. I like how she looks in my apartment—with the beige walls, muted wall art, and soft lighting, she’s like a splash of vibrant color, even wearing something neutral like she is now.
“I’m surprised you aren’t dead on your feet,” she says. “This week was brutal, wasn’t it?”
“At this point, I’m used to the punishing schedule. And the lack of sleep. You learn to grab leisure time where you can.”
I’m walking for the couch when my doorbell rings. What the hell?
I consider ignoring it, but someone presses it again. I walk over and through the glass planes I can just make the edges of my mom’s coat.
“Fuck.” I mutter. I turn to Kendall. “Can you play along here?”
She’s standing now. “What are we doing?”
“A little rebellion.”
She aims a mischievous grin at me. “Ooh, I love rebellion.”
I open my door. My parents are both there. Mom’s smiling like she hasn’t just driven to Louisville and invited herself over for the second time in a month.
“I didn’t know you guys were coming up,” I say.
“I texted. And called,” Mom says. She peers around me. “Can we come in?”
“I have company.” My teeth are gritted.
“Oh, you have a friend over?” She steps over the threshold, and Dad follows. “Well, hi there.” She smiles at Kendall. “Aren’t you pretty.”
Kendall wears a bright smile. She’s got on jeans and an oatmeal-colored sweater, so she’s not dressed up, but somehow she makes everything fancy. The bracelet I got her glints on her wrist.
She steps forward. “Hi there. I’m Kendall.” She sticks her hand out. “How are ya’ll?” She’s laying the accent on a little thick, and I cover a laugh with my hand.
Mom grins like I’ve given her the best present she could imagine. “Nice to meet you, Kendall. I’m Cindy.”
They’ve moved further into the house now. My Dad offers a polite wave and introduces himself to Kendall. We’re all standing awkwardly in the living room.
“What are you all doing here?” I offer Mom a stern look, not that it puts a damper on her enthusiasm. “It’s a long drive for another visit.”
“We’re going to look at some flooring tomorrow,” Dad says. “There’s a place up here our friend recommended. Ain’t anywhere around home to get that kinda stuff.” He holds his hands up. “Don’t worry, we aren’t crashing here. We’ve got a hotel room.”
There are places closer than Louisville for them to look at flooring, but I let that go.
“Have a seat.” I gesture to the couch.
They sit on the couch, and Kendall moves to sit in the recliner, which doesn’t leave a lot of room for me. I pull a chair over from the kitchen table. Mom’s looking at Kendall, and Dad alternates between glancing around and opening his mouth like he might be about to say something.
“So Kendall,” Mom says. “Where you from dear? I hear the accent.”