Chapter Thirty-Two
The longest, most excruciating flight I’ve ever been on—and that says a lot, considering I fly for a living. I pulled my hoodie over my head, tucked myself into the window seat, and refused to make eye contact with anyone on the flight. Once the plane landed and I grabbed my luggage, I made a beeline out of the airport, fearing running into someone I knew.
Now I stand here, eyes glossed over and a lump in my throat. Scanning every inch of my high-rise downtown Scottsdale apartment, the place I was so proud to afford and call my own. I’m unsure of who the woman who used to live here was.
I’ve never let a guy get to me this bad, but something about Jack is different from anyone I’ve ever met. This undeniable intensity and chemistry that I have with him almost act as an invisible rope pulling me in.
I glance at my plants, grateful they haven’t withered away yet. Lina has been stopping by to water them while I’ve been in California. I drag my feet along the hardwood floors, feeling weighted and lethargic. Rolling my luggage away from the door and still with my backpack on, I head into the kitchen and crack open a bottle of white wine that’s been on my counter for weeks.
Deciding not to make an effort to grab a glass from the cupboard above my head, I lift the bottle to my lips and gulp down a big swig. I’m not fazed by its barely tolerable lukewarm temperature.
The door buzzer goes off, breaking my spiral of sadness.
I flip on the intercom. “Hello.”
“I have a package here for a—Piper Bradley. It requires a signature.”
Of course.I rest my forehead on the wall next to the speaker and let out a heavy sigh. “Be right down.”
I see a man standing in a brown uniform when I get to the main lobby.
“I have a package for a—Piper Bradley,” he repeats, glancing down at the box in his hand.
I shouldn’t get used to hearing that name because soon it won’t be mine anymore. “Yes, that’s me.”
Without looking up, he hands me an electronic clipboard. “Sign here.”
I blankly stare at the signature line in front of me, thinking about how to sign a name that I’ve never written before. That’s not completely true. I had to write Piper Bradley on our marriage certificate. I squeeze my eyes shut, remembering what the penmanship looked like, and then I grip the stylus for a moment before signing.
“Thanks. Have a good day.” He hands me the small box and then quickly leaves the building.
Staring down at the brown square package no larger than the palm of my hand, I already know that Jack is the only person who would address me with his last name. My pulse races the entire way back up to my apartment.
As soon as the door latches behind me, I head right for the kitchen to grab a pair of scissors from the drawer. Placing the box on top of the counter, I cut along the tape line until the two flaps pop up. Inside, I find a mound of packing peanuts, but only when I push them aside do I find what’s hidden beneath.
I carefully remove a small, black velvet box. I hold my breath in anticipation of what’s concealed inside. It sends my mind into a frenzy. Pinching it between my thumbs, I lift the lid to find a yellow-gold crescent moon necklace with a tiny diamond embedded directly in the middle.
“Goddammit, Jack!” I scream at the top of my lungs, tears pouring from my eyes. This necklace is the same one my grandmother gave me before she died. Through blurred vision, my fingers pry the jewelry from the box. What the actual fuck?
“How the hell am I supposed to believe this was all just pretend at this point!” I shout into space. From the side of my eye, I catch sight of a tiny piece of pink stationery. I lift it off the table and hold it up to read it.
Mrs. Bradley,
I know this isn’t the original piece from your grandmother, and if I could replace it for you, I would, but I do hope this one brings you some joy anyway.
Love,
Mr. Bradley
It had been all a fever dream that I was never meant to wake up from. But I did. The vibrant colors and aliveness that came with it are now erased—vanished into my mind’s hidden crevices, which now only live inmy memory. A man who has taught me to live, breathe, and love.
I need some time to myself. I don’t have the energy to leave my apartment. I swipe my phone from the table next to me and bring up our group chat.
Me: Hey ladies, I’m not feeling up to going out tonight. Have fun, and I’ll see you all in the air.
Bailey texts back almost immediately.
Bailey: What? Is everything okay?
Always the mom in the group.
Me: I’m fine. I think I need some time by myself. Don’t worry, everything is fine.
Lina: Obviously, we’re going to worry. You always talk to us. Are you sure you’re alright?
My brain is swirling. I need time alone to clear it. Figure out how I’m feeling, why I’m feeling this way, and how I’m going to move past it.
Avery: I haven’t gotten to the restaurant yet, be at your apartment in 5.
Bailey: You can’t bail on us and not tell us what’s wrong.
Lina: Bailey and I are leaving The Poppy now, will be over there in less than ten.
I decide not to respond. I’ll speak with my friends when they get here. I’m grateful for them, but how am I supposed to explain what has happened between Jack and me? They won’t understand. I can barely make sense of it all.
Heading back into the kitchen, I grab the bottle of wine, put it up to my lips, and take another big gulp.
While I wait for the three of them to arrive, I start to unpack my suitcase. As soon as I lift the top, my eyes fall to Jack’s dark gray hoodie. A wave of nausea hits, clenching my stomach. I instantly climb to my feet and bolt into the other room. I can’t do this. It’s not like we’re a long-distance couple with the hope that someday I’ll get used to the back and forth.
Jack and I are over, and the finality of it rips at my soul.
The building buzzer goes off once again. Bailey, Lina, and Avery must be here. I buzz them in without answering and then wait by the door until they reach my floor.
“What’s going on?” Avery storms in before I have a chance to open the door all the way.
Bailey and Lina are following quickly behind her.
“Are you alright?” Lina opens her arms. I sink into them. Feeling a soft hand rubbing my back, my eyes start to fill with tears.
“What happened?” Bailey asks, taking a seat on my couch next to Avery.
I pull back from Lina. She keeps her arm around me and leads me to the soft chair in the corner of the room. When she releases me, she squeezes herself between Bailey and Avery on the couch.
I bury my head in my hands and begin to speak. “Jack and I are done with everything we needed to do.” I lift my face upward, avoiding eye contact with them. “He—um, gave me a check this morning for the amount he promised, but I couldn’t take it.”
“You don’t want it to be over?” Lina asks.
I shake my head.
Avery rests her chin in her palm. “Did you tell him that?”
Frowning, I shake my head again.
“You’re having a hard time with this. Do you know how he is feeling?” Bailey asks, keeping her voice low.
“It seemed like he was struggling too. How we were and what we were—you can’t fake that.”
“Wow.” Bailey’s eyes are wide. “How much happened between the two of you?”
I tuck a tear-soaked piece of hair behind my ear. “A lot.”
Avery nibbles on her bottom lip. “Was it fake to you?”
“It was, I think,” I say.
Lina clasps her hands in her lap. “But you did marry him the first time you met him, so there has to be something said about that.”
My chin quivers as I pick up where I left off. “You guys didn’t see how he looked at me. And when we made love, how intimate and perfect it was doesn’t feel like something that can be faked.”
“Maybe it wasn’t?” Lina suggests, her eyebrows pinched together.
“But it was because why would he let me go?” I plead with her, but the question is more for myself.
“I’m not sure.” Bailey sighs, shaking her head. “Maybe the same reason you got on that plane this morning?”
“I agree with Bailey. He could be just as conflicted as you are,” Avery says.
I nod. “Maybe. I could tell he was getting emotional when he was in the shower with me this morning, but he suddenly shut down.”
“Shit, babe, I had no idea how intimate it got between you guys. Sleeping together—showering together. Sex is just sex, but you used the words making love.” Lina crosses her arms at her chest. “Damn, this sucks.”
“There’s nothing left of us. It was all a lie. The snuggling, the laughing, the forehead kisses, the conversations we shared—” I suck in a breath. “And now it’s all gone.” My lower lip trembles as I speak. Lina gets off the couch and wraps her arms around me while my head hangs low between my legs. “Why does being away from him make my soul feel so bad?”
Bailey tilts her head toward me, her face suddenly softening. “Are you in love with him?”
I rub my lips together, biting back the sobs that bang on my chest. I haven’t heard it said out loud, and until this moment, it’s been an abstract thought that keeps resurfacing. “Yes. I’m so in love with Jack with every single part of me.”
Avery’s mouth drops with a gasp. “Sweetie. Oh my god.”
Lina stares up at me from bent knees next to my chair. Her eyes gloss over. “Piper Moon.”
Tears sting the back of my eyes. “I don’t want to be without him.”
Avery sniffs, places her hand over mine, and squeezes gently. “Oh, honey. Does he know?”
I shake my head. “I don’t think so.”
“You need to tell him.” Bailey’s nasally tone is firm.
“I know, but how would we even work? He’s there, and I’m here,” I stammer.
“That’s just geography, babe.” Lina smiles, her eyes shiny with moisture. “If he feels the same, you guys will make it work.”
Bailey rubs her hand over my leg in a soothing motion. “Lina’s right, you have to make that shit happen.”
“True love is not fleeting. It’s concrete,” Avery whispers, wiping my sticky face. “You said it yourself that you were drawn to him the minute you saw him at that airport in Vegas.”
Lina gives me a half-smile. “Our combined experience with men has shown us that feelings like this don’t happen often, if ever.”
Avery nods in agreement. “Yeah, if the four of us were to add up the number of m—”
“Okay, okay.” Lina’s hand flies into the air. “Let’s not start adding up the men we’ve been with.”
Avery turns back to me, rolling her eyes at Lina. “The point I was trying to make is even though we all know Lina as had more experience than all of us”—she lowers her eyes in Lina’s direction—“we can confidently say that this type of undeniable bond literally never happens.” She sticks her finger in the air at Bailey’s direction. “We don’t need your two cents and your soulmate lecture about your brother’s best friend. My point remains.”
They’re right. Everything that my best friends are saying is correct. This level of feeling doesn’t happen often. I can’t let this go without telling him how I feel. “How fast can we get me on a flight?” My voice comes out rough as I pop up from my chair.
Bailey quickly looks at Avery, but Avery’s eyes are on Lina. “Just because my dad is a captain doesn’t mean he can perform miracles,” she says, “Just kidding. Of course, he can! I’ll call him right now.” Lina hopped off the floor and headed into my bedroom with her phone in her hands.
“Yes!” Bailey cheers with her eyes wide.
“You’re going to do this, and you’re going to be brave. Now where is your suitcase? Do we need to pack anything for you?” Avery adds.
I blink rapidly. “Yes, everything is dirty. I need all new clean clothes.”
Lina comes barreling out of the bedroom. “We don’t have time for that, ladies. She’s going to be on a flight in forty-five minutes.”
My heart is pounding in my chest. With the help of my best friends, I’m going after the man I love—who hopefully loves me too.
“Bring it in, ladies.” Avery hooks me around the neck with one hand and Bailey with the other. Lina squeezes into our group, hugging us between Bailey and me. I take a moment to feel all the love that radiates off these three women.
“Okay, enough with the mushy stuff, we got to get you on that plane!” Lina exclaims, pulling away from our embrace.
“Let me run to the restroom quickly,” I say.
Bailey exhales with annoyance. “Fine. Just hurry.”
Taking a minute to collect myself and my thoughts, I turn on the sink and splash cold water on my face. It instantly calms me, practically resetting my nerves. I wipe my face with a hand towel before finding my reflection in the mirror. “You can do this,” I whisper to myself.
I briskly walk out of the bathroom and into the hallway to find Avery shoving clothes into my luggage. “What are you doing?”
“Oh, I switched out some of your dirty clothes for clean ones and slipped in a few pieces of hot pink lingerie,” she says with a devious smile, visibly proud of herself.
Shoving me out the door, I quickly turn around. “Who’s going to water my plants?”
“I will,” Lina says, shoving her key into the lock. “We’re all driving together. Then, after we drop you off, we’ll take Avery back here to get her car.” She turns to Bailey. “Finally, I’ll drop you off at The Poppy.”
“Fabulous. Now, let’s get this woman her man. Wait. Are you and Jack still married?”
Bailey asks, hitting the down arrow on the elevator.
I squeeze my eyes shut. “Yes.”
“Only you,” Avery teases, nudging my shoulder. “And that’s why we love you so much.”
A bashful smile crawls across me while Lina and Bailey laugh.
We get to the airport in less than twenty minutes. Lina haphazardly pulls up to the passenger drop-off. I twist my body from the front seat to see Avery and Bailey’s puffy eyes in the backseat and Lina’s in the driver’s seat to my left.
“Tell that ’90s heartthrob of a man how you really feel. And don’t come back to Phoenix without a husband,” Bailey’s voice cracks as she fights back tears.
Avery grabs my hand, giving it a little squeeze. “Keep us updated, or we’ll stalk you.”
Tears fill my eyes. “Thank you, and I love the three of you so much.”
Lina leans over the center console to give me a full-body hug. “I emailed you all your information. You will be good to go, babe.”
Stepping out of Lina’s jeep, I feel light, confident, and ready to give Jack more of myself than I already have. I stop in front of the automatic doors and wave at them as they drive away. Then, I head right for the escalators that lead to the third-floor terminals.