Chapter Thirty-One
Ipunch the gas, racing to get onto the freeway and as far away from the airport as I can. It was fucking impossible to let Piper go.
When I woke up in the morning, I felt sick to my stomach. I knew we’d either have to acknowledge or avoid what was happening between us, and we chose to do the latter. Despite the palpable sadness and hopelessness, Piper and I said goodbye to each other.
How can I have a future with a woman who lives in another state? Her career and life are in Arizona—where mine used to be. Fuck! Without realizing it, we were both working toward creating a permanent space between us. I’m bound to Dupara County, and I can do nothing about it. Even if we were to approach the idea of long distance, when would it end? What would we be working toward?
I could never ask her to give up her career to move to Dupara with me. The thought of that is terrifying. What if she hates it? Or if she wants to move back but has already given up her career? These questions kept me up the entire night.
When I joined Piper in the shower this morning, fully aware that this would be our last together, it was painful and heartbreaking. I shut down and reverted to myself and created a painful distance. I got into my head, trying to sort through my emotions while not wanting to face hers. I know it hurt her, and it hurt me even more knowing I was doing it. There was a part of me that hoped if I acted withdrawn, it might also help her with our goodbye.
I white knuckle the steering wheel, frustrated with this entire situation.
Piper thinks I was at my laptop working while she packed, but I was emailing Tom to let him know to move forward with the divorce papers. If I didn’t do it then, I may never have. And the check I had with me since I came home after Vegas. I wanted to ensure I had it ready in case things became too much for her or if she changed her mind about the whole thing. I had every intention of still paying her no matter how long she stayed.
I wish I had the chance to tell Piper about my conversation with Roxy and how I agreed to give her mother a large amount of money so she wouldn’t have to ask Piper anymore. I also made sure Roxy knew that if she needed anything else financially in the future, she would come to me before asking her daughter whether we were together or not. I still feel uneasy about my choice to do this without Piper’s knowledge. Still, I would do anything for her. If this can alleviate the emotional stress that Roxy causes, possibly improving the relationship with her mother, then I’d do it again in a fucking heartbeat.
While driving back to Wine Country at full speed, my stomach twists as a memory bombards me.
I’m leaning against the counter with my credit card in hand. “Piper?” I repeat her name to grab her attention.
She flips her hair around to face me. “Hmm?”
Even under my semi-blurry gaze, she’s absolutely stunning. “Would we like to write our own vows or use theirs?”
“Write our own!” she excitedly replies. We’ve only just met and barely know each other—so this seems like an obvious choice.
“You got it,” I say, smiling at her from across the outdated lobby of the Tiny White Wedding House.
I should be second-guessing this decision or even getting hit with an immediate sense of fear about marrying a woman who I’ve only spent less than twenty-four hours with, but I don’t. Strangely, there are no signs of doubt, only assurance.
While waiting, I see a couple emerge from behind a set of double doors. The man, dressed in a cowboy hat and boots, could barely keep his hands off the tall brunette in a sequined black dress and clear high heels. They laugh together as they hurry right for the chapel, slamming the doors behind them.
A laugh bubbles in my throat as I take the spot next to Piper on the velvet couch. “This small piece of paper is all we get to declare our love and undying devotion to each other,” I say, handing her a clipboard with a lined paper on it that looks no bigger than an index card. “So, try to keep it short.”
She gives a smooth and adorable giggle as she reaches her arm out to grab one of the blue pens from the diamond-covered holder in front of us. “I’ll try.”
Piper and I lay back on either side of the couch. We periodically smirked at each other from over the top of our clipboards.
I blink away a small tear as it drops from my eye. I look down to see the wet droplet, which has made a wet circle on the denim of my pants.
Fuck, this hurts.
I take my finger and aggressively tap the touch screen to the right of the steering wheel. As music seeps through the speakers, I flick the volume up. Blasting“Days Go By”byDirty Vegas, I drown out the memories of our wedding night. A night that changed my entire life. A night that made me rethink so many things that I believed up until then.
“I understand you two have opted to write your own vows.” The officiant turns away from the fiercely beautiful woman standing before me. “Jack, would you like to go first?”
I don’t have to bring up my notecard to remember what I’ve written, because even in my inebriated state, I know it by heart.
I nod, then clear my throat. “You are captivating and utterly beautiful.”
“So, vows are more like a promise. They usually begin with words ‘I promise to’—” The other person in the room with absolutely no meaning to me begins to say, but my eyes remain locked on Piper and hers on mine.
Both of us ignore his comments. Piper begins to recite the vow she wrote.
“You are magnetic and addicting,” she tells me without glancing at her notecard and without hesitation.
“Okay, those are fine too.” He rests his hands on his oversized belt buckle. “Here at the Tiny White Wedding House, we believe that all unions should reflect the couple’s own personal tastes,” he drags on, sounding more like muffled noises than real words.
I can’t stop staring at the woman standing in front of me, and I can’t wait to get her upstairs and into the penthouse suite I booked.
My mind is slightly foggy about what tower it’s in, but I’m sure we’ll find it.
I affectionately smile at this flashback, even though my heart shatters into a million pieces. Piper and I had no idea what we wrote down wasn’t vows. But it didn’t matter and still doesn’t matter because she is captivating and beautiful.
My dick was fighting with the zipper of my pants the entire ceremony. Too bad, I barely remembered getting back to the room that night. And if it hadn’t been for us both waking up the next morning fully dressed with the bed still made, I would have been convinced that we had fucked.
Looking back now, I’m grateful we didn’t. I would have wanted to remember every moment of it now that I know what it’s like to be with her.
Before I realize it, I’m already pulling up to the outside of our villa. I turn the car off and stare at the brown door in front of me. Letting my head fall against the back of the seat, I rub my hands down my face. I need to get my shit together. I sit in the driver’s seat for a few minutes before summoning the courage to leave.
“Piper, you are going to hurt yourself. Get down!” I call her as she dances on top of a small table to “Rock the Casbah,” the remix from the Solar Twins. An industrial lamp hangs low and slowly sways under the breeze from the air vent above.
“Excuse me, miss, you can’t stand on the tables here,” a man in a tan uniform tells Piper. “If you’re looking for a club, try the third level.”
“I’m so sorry,” I apologize on Piper’s behalf, then lift my arms toward her, and she lowers herself into them.
Then she smiles at the man. “I really like that version of the song, though.”
I laugh, still holding her against me. “I will play it on my phone later for you. How does that sound?”
Her eyes glow brightly. “I would love that. Thank you.”
I lumber up the two small steps to the front door. Opening it, I’m hit with the powerful scent of lavender.
Piper.
My wife.
I never really thought about getting married. I thought I would one day, but having a wife has been one of the furthest things from my mind.
I walk down the hallway, past the kitchen, and into the bedroom. Everything is exactly where we left it. Other than her smell, it’s almost like she was never here. Like all of this was a dream, she vanished as quickly as she came.
I glance over to the side of the bed she slept on and remember lying awake last night, staring at the rotating ceiling fan and listening to the delicate hums of her sleep. Another tear falls, and I quickly swipe it away, lowering myself onto the bed.
I love watching her while she sleeps. She’s so blissfully unaware of how beautiful she is, and it guts me knowing I will no longer be experiencing it.
What the fuck am I doing?
Popping back up to a stand, it suddenly hits me like a wave crashing into my existence. Since I met her, it’s felt like she’s been the only thing in my life that I understand—that understands me. I want to be with her. I don’t want to live without her. I’m entirely in love with her. I’m in love with every single fucking thing about that woman.
Why am I letting her go?I can’t let her go.
The hairs on my neck stand up as I move around this space without Piper here. Pacing back and forth, my mind is frantic with the possibilities of what to do with this information when a small piece of white folded-up paper on the nightstand catches my eye. I snatch the paper and immediately open it. To my surprise, it’s the check I gave her this morning. The money I owed her for being my fake girlfriend. She didn’t take it.
My legs buckle underneath me, and I fall back to a sitting position on the edge of the bed. She didn’t take the goddamn money.
She loves me too.
I’m not going to let her go.
It”s abundantly clear what I must do. I need to tell Piper how I feel. I need to tell her I’m in love with her and that I’m sorry for letting her go. I never should have allowed her to get on that plane without telling her how I felt first. There are so many things left unsaid.
I bolt out of the room and down the hall, ultimately leaving the check floating in midair from the abrupt mad dash out of the villa and to my car.
I’m going to get my wife.