Chapter Seventeen
Jeremy
Hannah fails to appear when the 9:00 a.m. class begins. I keep hoping that she’s simply running late and will appear out of breath and apologizing for being late. The feeling of unease persists during the hour-long lesson, particularly as the children repeatedly inquire about her whereabouts.
Where is she?
I have to constantly remind myself to focus on the lesson and not gaze at the beach, hoping for Hannah’s arrival. After what is undoubtedly one of my worst classes, I let the class go early because I am so distracted by thoughts of Hannah.
Throughout the lesson, Katie persistently asks me about Hannah’s whereabouts and if she will return, but I can’t give her a suitable answer.
I left Hannah’s apartment this morning feeling elated. After months of longing for her, she’s finally mine.
Or so I thought.
Maybe leaving so early this morning has already damaged our relationship. Perhaps she has had time to clear her head and convince herself that we won’t be good together.
I do not doubt that Hannah and Sasha are talking about what happened last night. Although I have always liked Sasha since I met her, doubts are starting to creep into my mind that maybe Sasha is convincing Hannah that dating me would be a terrible idea.
If Hannah decides she doesn’t want to be together, what happens now? Is it possible for us to return to being just friends? Can we return to being just friends? Is it better to have Hannah as a friend than to not have her in my life at all?
What if she decides she doesn’t want to be friends? I still have to see her daily at work and deal with her computer problems, which are inevitable since she is technologically challenged. Can I wear a smile and act like her rejection doesn’t affect me?
I’m plagued by swirling thoughts of self-doubt. In a near-absentminded state, I find myself going to the café where Hannah and I typically have coffee before my next class.
I order my smoothie and wait at our usual bench, hoping she will show up.